Sunshine Shower

“Not that again.”Moon Seoyoon smiled faintly. It was one of those things Woo Yeonjae had been saying habitually since they were kids. “Moon Seoyoon, you’re mine,” or “Let’s live together.”“Come on. If you say you want to move in, my parents would welcome you.”“That’s probably because I always stop you whenever you cause trouble.”“Moon Seoyoon, you’re so naive.”Woo Yeonjae lifted one corner of his mouth. His expression was unreadable.“Anyway, it’s really fine. Dad was surprised too… He apologized. He still seems a bit upset, though.”“Look closely.”Woo Yeonjae closed the distance and grabbed his chin. Moon Seoyoon didn’t have the strength to push him away, so he quietly let him hold his cheek. Glancing up, he saw his eyes staring intently. His neatly arched eyebrows twitched and furrowed.“Tell me right away if he touches you again.”“I’m telling you, he won’t.”“What about the piano? Are you really going to quit?”Moon Seoyoon silently nodded. He just couldn’t play the keys anymore. Moving his fingers to the sheet music wasn’t hard, but it was difficult to put emotions into each note.A melody without emotion was doomed to end.“I don’t think I can play anymore. It’s not that I hate the piano… It’s just that my heart feels strange.”“Then what about school? We’re going to high school next year.”“I’m not going to the arts high school, just a regular one. I decided to study instead of continuing with piano.”His father had given up on him more easily than he had expected. It could be guilt from slapping his child only a month after losing his mother, or he might have judged from the messed-up melody that there was no hope. Either way, he had become a useless child.I wanted to make my parents happy by playing the piano, but my mother passed away and I let my father down. In the end, I was a failure who hadn’t achieved anything.Overwhelmed by a sense of self-loathing, Moon Seoyoon absentmindedly fiddled with the tip of his fingernail. The hangnail felt just like him, a nuisance. He tried to tear it off, but Woo Yeonjae entwined his fingers around Seoyoon’s, as if to stop him.“……”He hadn’t realized it when he was alone, but he must have been lonely. The warmth of the skin touching his was comforting, even though it had turned lukewarm.Feeling a surge of inexplicable emotion, Moon Seoyoon quickly opened his mouth.“And I’m the only one going to high school. You’re going to the U.S.”“The U.S.?”Woo Yeonjae tilted his head and then elongated his words with an “Ahh.” His already long eyes squinted, making them seem even longer.“I’m not going to the U.S.”“What? Why?”“I’m going to attend school with Moon Seoyoon.”“Don’t joke around.”Woo Yeonjae raised an eyebrow slightly. Moon Seoyoon knew him well enough to understand the meaning behind it.“What? When did you decide not to go?”“A while ago.”As soon as he wondered why he hadn’t mentioned it, he understood the reason.For the past month, Moon Seoyoon had been living in a daze. If it weren’t for summer vacation, he wouldn’t have been able to manage school at all. No matter how prepared you think you are, losing someone you love does that to you. Even if Woo Yeonjae had told him about canceling his study abroad plans, he wouldn’t have been able to respond.“Do you still have the piano?”Woo Yeonjae, sensing his gloomy mood, easily changed the topic. Moon Seoyoon nodded. Although he had decided to quit, he didn’t suddenly hate the sight of the piano. The piano he had grown attached to was still in the next room.“Yeah. Since it was my mom’s too, I don’t think I’ll get rid of it… Why?”“I’ll play the piano for you.”“You can’t play the piano.”Despite his words, Moon Seoyoon took Woo Yeonjae’s outstretched hand. Contrary to the coolness he had felt before, Woo Yeonjae’s hand was warm.“Watch me play terribly. I want to see Moon Seoyoon smile.”Woo Yeonjae led Moon Seoyoon to the piano room as if it were his own home.The room was stuffy because the door had been tightly closed. Instead of turning on the air conditioner, Moon Seoyoon went to the window and opened it. He wanted to let some sunlight in for the piano that had been sitting unused for a month. He knew it was a meaningless gesture, but he did it anyway.“It’s raining. The weather is nice, though.”As he opened the window, the sound of raindrops tapping down reached his ears. The sun was shining warmly even as the raindrops fell from the blue sky.“A sunshower.”Woo Yeonjae mumbled, resting his chin on Moon Seoyoon’s shoulder. Moon Seoyoon, habitually leaning into Woo Yeonjae’s embrace, gazed out the window. Under the bright summer sun, a light shower sprinkled down. Apparently unimpressed, Woo Yeonjae sighed briefly and then turned to sit on the piano bench.“You’re really going to play?”Moon Seoyoon turned toward him. The air was still thick without the air conditioning, but the sunlight falling on his head and back didn’t feel too bad.“What are you going to play?”“Chopsticks?”“Are you an elementary school kid?” “No, I’m sixteen.”Woo Yeonjae chuckled and started pressing the keys. It wasn’t “Chopsticks,” but some unrecognizable tune.Everything was a mess, and Moon Seoyoon couldn’t help but smile. His facial muscles felt stiff, and it was strange to smile.“Just play ‘Chopsticks.’”“Why? I think I have a knack for the piano.”“Are you serious?”Woo Yeonjae shrugged.His fingers didn’t stop hitting the keys haphazardly. Despite the jumbled notes creating strange dissonances, it wasn’t unpleasant. The awkward and unnatural melody felt oddly comforting. Maybe it was because someone else was playing, not him.Moon Seoyoon leaned against the window and quietly watched Woo Yeonjae’s profile.After a few minutes, the fingers dancing over the keys gradually came to a stop. Woo Yeonjae slumped against the piano, signaling the end of the performance. The keys made a strange noise as his face pressed against them.Feeling a sense of relief, Moon Seoyoon chuckled softly again.“You’re finally smiling.”Woo Yeonjae’s eyes curved into a gentle arc as he leaned against the piano.“Did you play to make me smile?”“I told you to watch me play terribly. I just wanted to see Moon Seoyoon smile.”A strange feeling stirred in Moon Seoyoon’s chest. It was similar to the sensation of facing an unfamiliar piece of sheet music for the first time.“Moon Seoyoon.”“What?”Moon Seoyoon responded briefly, knowing the emotions felt when facing unknown sheet music couldn’t be summed up in a single word.Curiosity, mild fear, the accompanying excitement, the desire to conquer.“Even if you can’t play the piano, the world won’t collapse.”And the thrill that makes your heart race.“What’s the big deal that makes you act like the world has ended?”He finally understood why Woo Yeonjae had brought him here. He probably wanted to comfort him.Although he had pretended otherwise, he couldn’t deny that he had acted as if the world had collapsed over a single piano.For sixteen-year-old Moon Seoyoon, the piano was everything. It wasn’t that he had an accident or couldn’t use his hands anymore; he had given up the piano of his own accord because of a mere change of heart, and that scared him. He feared it would prove his weakness.So, Moon Seoyoon wasn’t okay. He thought he was useless without playing the piano.“And I don’t like Moon Seoyoon just because he plays the piano. I just like Moon Seoyoon.”Still, maybe, just maybe, he would be okay now. Because there was someone who said it was fine not to play the piano. That meant he no longer needed to prove his worth.Unconsciously, the rain seemed to have stopped. Bright sunlight poured into the room all at once. The direct light made Woo Yeonjae squint as he straightened up. Always in front of the grand piano where Moon Seoyoon used to sit.‘Ah.’It felt like looking at an unfamiliar piece of sheet music again. A rush of emotions came overwhelmingly and incessantly. He couldn’t decipher any of the notes or rests within. The clefs, key signatures, and even the staff lines were all a mess.‘I’m in trouble.’Moon Seoyoon realized. It was a sudden and unexpected realization.‘This isn’t good…’It was too clear a moment to deny.Woo Yeonjae, who had taken his place at the grand piano where he always sat.–Note:Chopsticks or 젓가락 행진곡 is a simple, widely known waltz for the piano.