Surviving Among the Entities

The reason I became interested in the game “Surviving Among the Entities” was as follows:

[“This guy really doesn’t listen.”]
[“He’s probably a troll even when playing games.”]
[“I really want to beat him up. He’s like Teemo.”]
[IAmADebater: I have never played a game before. What is Teemo?]
[“As if there’s anyone in this world who hasn’t played games.”]
[“Why can’t you just admit you’re a troll?”]

These were people’s reactions while I was debating on an online forum. To refute their claims, I sought out and played the game they were talking about.

[“You dumbass support, stop killing the minions.”]

I didn’t start without any knowledge. After studying that game thoroughly, I began playing, but unfortunately it was a game that promoted extreme individualism, and I was relentlessly attacked by my allies.

[“This is a game where you kill enemy minions or enemy champions to earn gold, buy gear to get stronger, destroy the enemy towers, and ultimately destroy the enemy nexus.”]
[“So why the fuck is the support killing minions, idiot?”]
[“Based on your ADC’s skill accuracy, I can carry much harder. So buy me buff items with any gold you get. And buy lots of wards too.”]

I explained to them why I acted that way.

[“You’re the jungler, why do you keep taking my lane?!”]
[“If I take your minions too, my scaling will be twice as fast, mid.”]
[“So why?!”]
[“Because you got solo killed six times in 10 minutes, mid. With your performance, you’re more likely to be a detriment, so I’m better off taking your lane’s exp and gold.”]

Despite my polite reasoning, all I got back was a message about being penalized for intentional game disruption.

Online games weren’t for me. Normally I would have stopped there, but I have Korean blood flowing too, and being told I can’t play games stoked a fresh anger, giving me the urge to play a different game and hear people say I’m good at least once.

[“Online games aren’t for me, so I’ll look for a single-player game instead.”]

That’s when I came across “Surviving Among the Entities” while searching for games to play.

It was a game made with a highly intriguing concept. Reinterpreting urban legends, ghost stories, myths and mysteries into entities that serve as the game’s enemies – it was the first time I had seen that, and I later learned it was the creepypasta concept.

After that, I played it for a few years and even ranked highly, but what’s important now is that the Blue Moon was one of the “Entities” in that game, and although I quit about half a year ago, I still remember its information.

“The Blue Moon.”

I wrote down the Blue Moon’s information in a notebook. Thoughts in the mind are like oil floating on water, constantly changing form, so I had to solidify its shape by writing it down.

[Entity Name: Blue Moon]
[Threat Level: Danger]
[This entity is only visible to its victim. At first, it appears as a blue full moon only at night, but over time it becomes visible during the day as well. It lasts for a total of 7 days, and as time passes, the victim becomes consumed by madness, ultimately succumbing to it completely in a dead ending where they become a mass murderer.]

From my current situation, it was clear I had been marked as the Blue Moon’s victim.

“At least assuming I haven’t gone insane yet.”

However, every entity in Surviving Among the Entities had a way to overcome or circumvent it. Since entities were almost always impossible to destroy, evading or temporarily neutralizing them was more accurate. The Blue Moon too had such methods, which I wrote down below.

[First way to survive the Blue Moon: Raise your mental fortitude to 80 or higher to overcome the madness.]

I immediately crossed that line out. Raising my mental fortitude to 80 or higher was impossible. Ordinary methods couldn’t raise it past 70, and going higher required the help of specific entities or special events.

‘More importantly, a high mental fortitude isn’t always good.’

With a mental fortitude over 60, NPCs treat you as a philosopher.
Over 70, they treat you as a sage.
Over 80, they treat you as the pinnacle of humanity.

‘And from 90 onwards…’

Anyway, the level of 80, being treated as the pinnacle of humanity, was not something my ordinary self could achieve. I’m just an average human who didn’t have that high of a mental fortitude, and even with game knowledge, it was impossible to reach that level in just five days.

Below that, I wrote down the next solution.

[Second way to survive the Blue Moon: Use other entities to escape from the Blue Moon.]

Entities are dangerous to humans. Like how radiation has no feelings towards humans but its mere existence can cause death, an entity’s perception of humans doesn’t change its danger.

However, among entities, there are many that are extremely benevolent and safe for humans, or simply useful tools.

“The problem is that those entities appear randomly, so even with game knowledge, I can’t obtain them.”

I crossed that out too, then immediately wrote down the next solution.

[The easiest, fastest, and currently only way to escape the Blue Moon]

After some revision, I wrote down the answer.

[Suicide.]

Commit suicide before being consumed by madness.

“…..?”

I crossed out that answer I had stared at as well. Whether this reality of Surviving Among the Entities is real, or I’ve simply gone insane, or some phenomenon I can’t even fathom is occurring – one thing is certain.

“Experience is the parent of understanding and nourishment for the soul.”

This is an experience I can never have again, and I won’t miss the opportunity.

“It’s a good opportunity to experience what madness is.”

Under the drizzling rain, I strolled the streets with an umbrella. Everything was the same ordinary world, but I could sense subtle stares directed at me.

“Mom! Is it raining now?”
“Hm? No.”
“Then why is that mister wearing an umbrella?”
“That’s called a parasol, used to block sunlight.”

While the mother’s kindly explanation to the child is understandable, this is not a parasol but an ordinary umbrella.

‘The rain is heavy.’

I cautiously looked up at the sky through the rain that only I could see and feel. The blue moon, larger than before, hung in the sky gazing down at me.

Just a day had passed, but even though it wasn’t night, I could see the blue moon.

‘What does this falling rain signify?’

As a victim of the Blue Moon, the scene changes over time. Sometimes a river of blood appears, sometimes all faces become identical, or frogs might fall like rain – all expressing madness.

‘Users analyzed that it likely manifests the madness within.’ s have diverse natures, so madness too must be diverse, making the constant changes natural and this situation understandable.

‘But is my madness really this tame?’

The blue moon hanging in the day sky and the falling rain – such a bland manifestation of madness.

“Hmm.”

And the periodic worm-squashing is part of the madness too.

“My bad.”

The squashed worms writhed like they were dancing. Already the sixth time today – I was being careful, but somehow in those moments I lost focus, I had crushed them underfoot.

I wandered around like that all day, but there were no further changes, just the same peaceful town as usual.

‘I have four days of peace left.’

In four days, a mass murderer that will shatter this peace will appear – and that will be me.

‘I wonder how the news will report it?’

A ‘Bucheon Knife Attack’ headline on the front page?
‘Suspect is an unemployed 25-year-old male.
A gaming addict who dropped out of high school and became obsessed with games, mistaking reality for a game and committing mass murder!’

‘Since Surviving Among the Entities no longer exists in this world, I probably won’t be labeled a gaming addict.’

If they investigate me further, they might run a story like this:

‘The journey of a knowledge thief who snuck into famous universities to attend lectures as a hobby, until he became a murderer.’
‘An unemployed freeloader living off his parents’ insurance money snapped from financial difficulties after running out of money and went on a stabbing rampage.’

“Let’s head back.”

On the way home, I stepped on ten more worms.

Three days until I become a mass murderer. Now the worms had completely taken over the streets.

“…..?”

I couldn’t avoid them even if I wanted to, so I just walked on, crushing them underfoot. The blue moon in the sky was even larger than the previous day, looking like it might collide with Earth at any moment.

“Hello there.”
“Hello there.”

The people on the streets were no longer human. Although their outward appearance was human, it seemed they were filled with worms under their skin, as worms constantly oozed out of their punctured facial features.

“Hello there.”
“Hello there.”

Is this how only I perceive them? These worm-filled forms under their skin, parroting the same words over and over – is this just how they look and sound to me, while in reality they’re ordinary people?

‘Then is the Blue Moon’s madness manipulating my five senses to cause delusions?’

I don’t know. If that’s the case, it would be more accurate to call it a hallucination rather than madness.

“Hello there.”
“A pack of cigarettes, please.”
“Hello there.”

Although conversation was impossible, their actions were normal, and it seemed they could understand me normally as I was able to purchase items.

“Three more packs, please.”

I better stock up now, in case I can’t even do this tomorrow.

Two days until I become a mass murderer.
The world was no longer the one I knew.

“So blue.”

The blue moon occupied half the sky, spewing light in place of the sun and bathing the world in blue. In this entirely blue world, bizarre worm-like plants had sprouted, making it eerie to even walk around.

“Like worms.”

After observing the plants here and there, I went out onto the streets with an umbrella. The falling rain was stickier and heavier than before, but with no wind, a single umbrella was enough to block it.

“HellothereHellothereHellothereHellothere.”
“HellothereHellothereHellothere.”

The people had become monsters that seemed like a hybrid of human and worm, shamelessly strolling the streets greeting each other – a quite comical sight.

[“Hello there.”]
[“Hello there!”]

Let me have a better look around.

I took a bus tour around the city. Worm-people filled every corner of the city, worm-like plants blanketing the buildings.

“Hello there.”

But I didn’t find it particularly profound even on this day.

The day I become a mass murderer.
Finally, I could experience something impossible through ordinary means.

“How curious.”

The blue moon filling the sky shone an even deeper blue, bathing the world in its azure hue. But curiously, my brain perceived the blue color not as blue, but as red.

I was experiencing a quantum superposition-like phenomenon, simultaneously perceiving the blue color I saw while also perceiving it as red.

“Is this what mental contamination is?”

I went outside with an umbrella. Now I had to walk while crushing worms up to my ankles, and the rain was so heavy that the umbrella was useless.

‘Let’s just get drenched.’

I discarded the umbrella in a trash can. The people I encountered on my way were like gigantic worms, standing upright yet also crawling.

‘Goodness.’

Could “standing upright” and “crawling” even coexist as descriptors?
But their appearance could only be described that way, and finally, the moment I had been waiting for arrived.

“It’s really intense today.”

In fact, changes in my emotions had started occurring ever since the blue moon began appearing during the day.
Whenever I saw worms, I felt revulsion and the urge to tear them apart – as if I had become a worm-hating extremist.

It began as a slight irritation, but grew stronger over time until now, when I was filled with the desire to immediately rip worms apart and devour them.

As if the worms had become my greatest benefactors.
As if worms were insects that should not exist in this world.

“So this is how it goes.”

And that was the end.

“How bland.”

The madness brought by the Blue Moon was not so grand after all.

“Maybe I’ll have a smoke before heading back.”

Although the world had become like this, it was likely only for me, so I couldn’t just smoke anywhere. But as I was heading back to my studio apartment, the sky roared.

[“You, human. You mere mortal, you earthly worm, you eternal weed, you embodiment of unattainable greed.”]

The blue moon was watching me.
The blue moon was asking me.
Covered in countless eyes and mouths, tens, billions, trillions, perhaps innumerable:

[“What are you?”]

Quite a profound question. The definition of a human could change depending on how one defines humanity, whether one believes in the existence of a soul, whether one bases it on the self.

“Hello there.”

The only response I could give.

“My name is Seung-hoon Lee.”