Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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“Finally, the reason I don’t want to get involved with you—”

“Hey—!”

“…Let’s put that discussion on hold.”

At the entrance of the forest stood a rather scruffy-looking human waving at us.

Thunk.

Skylar tapped my wrist with a finger.

“Why?”

“It seems you lack common sense, so let me address this upfront. Those people over there are the Forest Keepers keeping an eye on the movements of monsters. Don’t create unnecessary trouble.”

“Yeah. I have enough sense for that.”

“Unfortunately, it seems you lack even that much common sense, which is why I’m telling you this.”

“Ugh.”

Skylar whispered the warning to me in a low voice, then changed his expression and waved at the Forest Keeper.

The Forest Keeper looked familiar with Skylar.

He had the appearance of a child, yet somehow managed to build connections while living as an adventurer at that young age. Was he actually older than he looked?

Ugh, let’s drop it. I’ve already called him a kid several times. Just thinking about it feels like a mental strain.

I quietly followed them from behind.

I figured it would be better to stay out of sight rather than awkwardly insert myself into their friendly banter.

Or, to put it more accurately… my ‘easily frightened’ personality was vehemently rejecting the idea of approaching them first.

Yeah. I dislike strangers. It’s just an instinctive aversion.

It wasn’t always like this, but it is now. The idea that my personality could be changed by someone else is terrifying.

“Miss, this is our first meeting.”

“Ah, me…?”

“Yes. It seems like you’re new to this observation request, right?”

“Yes.”

“I thought so! I’ve been a Forest Keeper for quite a long time, and you are definitely a face I haven’t seen before.”

“…What?”

“With beauty like that, of course I would remember you!”

Ah, a compliment about my looks. There’s no better tool than praise to lighten the mood.

However, there was a problem.

That being, I am (was) a man. Receiving compliments about my looks shouldn’t really impact me… shouldn’t… wait, it does feel nice?

Why is that?

‘It’s because I created this character.’

Right. I’m not feeling good because someone complimented my looks; it’s because the Forest Keeper recognized my excellent customization skills!

“Thank you.”

I smiled faintly and expressed my gratitude to the Forest Keeper.

The Forest Keeper stared at me blankly for a moment before turning away and clearing his throat.

“Ahem, anyway, let me tell you about the area you’ll be searching in. Do you know the story of the Song Forest and its warnings?”

“I don’t know…”

“Honestly, it’s a bit of a pain to explain, but since this is your first time, I’ll clarify everything for you. Just make sure to take notes next time.”

“Yes.”

I fished into my bag to find a notebook and pen.

Rustle, rustle.

After rummaging around for quite a while, I was gripped by a bad feeling.

No matter how much I dug my hands into the bag, I couldn’t grasp either pen or paper.

‘Must be because of my clumsy habit.’ Yeah, this is a bit much. It’s quite ridiculous. What kind of person leaves behind paper and a pen because of their clumsy habits?!

Am I ignoring the laws of physics here?!

I pulled my empty hands from the bag and snuck a glance around.

Skylar seemed to have caught on to something, eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed, he let out a sigh.

“I-I’ll just remember it in my head!”

“Um, okay. It’s not a long explanation anyway. Skylar, stop giving your friend cues and come along.”

Skylar, still frowning, glanced at me for a moment before moving again. Naturally, he wouldn’t let it slide easily.

“That’s just because he’s not very knowledgeable.”

“Huh?”

“Last time he got lost on an herb-gathering request, and even before that, he collapsed right in the middle of the street. And when he first came to the Adventurer’s Guild…”

“When he came?”

“Hold on a sec! Lean a little closer, lower your head.”

The Forest Keeper leaned down until his ear was close to Skylar’s mouth, and Skylar began whispering something I couldn’t hear.

Once Skylar finished talking, the Forest Keeper’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of us in shock.

“…Really?”

“I’m telling the truth!”

“Looks like that?”

“Yes! I was surprised too!”

When I shot them a sharp glare, I could see the Forest Keeper trying to avoid my gaze.

Could it be… did that brat spill all my embarrassing stories? You little…!

Just wait until later.

*

It was clearly a frightening-looking entrance to the forest. Thick foliage that didn’t allow sunlight through. The Forest Keeper halted at the boundary between light and shadow.

“My guidance ends here. I’ll be up at that watchtower, so if you need help, light a fire.”

“Okay.”

“And I’ll give you warnings about the dangers of the Song Forest. I know it’s supposed to be my job, but really… the situation isn’t very good elsewhere.”

“Support?”

“Right.”

“I got it.”

Skylar waved goodbye to the Forest Keeper, who then ascended to the watchtower.

It was about as high as a modern fire lookout tower.

The small hut at the top seemed like a mere dot from such a high vantage point, quickly disappearing from view.

‘…Can he actually see our signals from up there?’

I felt a slight unease, but hey, he’s a Forest Keeper, right? People who do these kinds of jobs must have good eyesight, right? Just unnecessary worry.

More than that, what truly occupied my mind was something else.

“What do you mean by dangers?”

“The reason this forest is called the Song Forest.”

“Huh?”

“It’s cursed. Honestly, it’s a curse that only really stupid people would fall for… but just in case.”

“What is it?”

“When you enter the forest, you hear singing. If you follow the direction from where the singing comes, you’ll vanish.”

“You’ll vanish? I’m not sure about that.”

“No one has ever fallen victim to that curse. No one knows what happens. One thing is for sure though… there’s absolutely nothing good about being cursed like that.”

He went on to explain that this forest is off-limits to the general public, and regarding the principles of the curse.

Only adventurers could enter, and unless there was a job or a request, there was no reason to go in. Anyone with a child’s level of willpower could endure it.

The curse basically forces someone’s actions and has a negative effect. A powerful wizard could make a curse that follows a person until they die.

And then, one strange question.

“Wait a minute, that doesn’t seem right.”

“Huh?”

“If a curse made by a powerful wizard lasts until a person dies, then how long has this forest been…?”

“Um, the singing began, if we’re counting, over 300 years ago.”

“Then just how powerful was the human who cursed this forest?”

“Well, I don’t know either. According to rumors, it was a legendary bard who asked a wizard, his friend from the mythic age—but the details are unclear.”

Skylar added that if this rumor was true, countless adventurers and treasure hunters would have flocked here.

I felt a bit… strange.

No, first, I needed to prepare for entering the forest rather than worrying about whether the rumors were true. After all, I was in a risky situation right now.

‘…Well, I activated my ability to leave my pen and notes behind due to my clumsy habit. There shouldn’t be any further incidents today. That leaves the possibility of narcolepsy.’

If I suddenly fell asleep or collapsed, Skylar would take care of me.

He had that kind of personality and there was already a precedent. He wouldn’t abandon me.

If it came down to it, I could stab myself with a dagger before succumbing to narcolepsy. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to do that, but if things got dangerous, there wouldn’t be much choice.

This was my first proper request.

I had to rank up to Silver soon or I’d be in trouble.

Earn money, solve requests, and roll around until I fix my stats and penalties. That was the path I had chosen.

‘…Feels like I’m forgetting something.’

It should be fine.

If I forgot it, it probably wasn’t that important.

I continued to follow Skylar.

We entered the dark forest.

And walked for quite some time.

Skylar abruptly stopped in the middle of the path and pulled out a map. It looked like a map of the forest.

Since I was a bit away from him, I couldn’t get a good look at the details. Maps were a luxury in this era anyway.

Stealing a glance or asking to see it wouldn’t really be very considerate.

As I stood there waiting, Skylar opened his mouth.

“This is where the boundary starts.”

“…What boundary?”

“Just step on it.”

Skylar stepped forward first.

I followed suit.

I stepped onto the imaginary boundary.

♩♫♫♩♩♩—

The song tickled my ears.