Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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Skylar grabbed my hand as if he had been waiting for this moment to finalize the contract.

A faint magical energy wrapped around us both.

When I had previously signed a contract, I hadn’t sensed anything at all… but now, for some reason, it felt so clear.

Perhaps my experience writing the scroll had some sort of impact on this.

Well, anyway, I was the one to start the questioning first.

After I finished all my questions, Skylar would begin to ask me his, but I was okay with that. The future me would somehow manage to answer.

“I’ll go first.”

“…Huh?”

While I hesitated, Skylar snatched the initiative away.

I immediately protested.

“I was first!”

“Alright, then let’s take turns.”

“No, only after I finish all my questions.”

“…Fine.”

Skylar seemed to realize he was being unreasonable and immediately shut his mouth.

Trying to steal the initiative while I was thinking for just a moment? Are all wizards selfish folks only concerned about their own interests?

…Not that I meant to imply Skylar was selfish.

‘If this guy was selfish, he would have killed me by now or stolen my eyes long ago.’

Anyway, onto the real question.

I felt like my thoughts were wandering too much. I needed to focus. Get my head straight.

“What’s your relationship with the Mad King?”

“First of all, it’s a bad connection—”

“Don’t beat around the bush. Explain properly. You were the one who said you’d explain it clearly enough for me to understand.”

“Alright. I lost something very important to him. But, after losing the most important thing in my life, here I am, still alive. A body that’s shameless in many ways.”

“The important thing you lost was probably your body… right?”

“Is that a question too? I hope you remember that I can ask you an equal number of questions for every question you ask me, Selina.”

“No, it’s not a question. Just a confirmation. I have a real question coming up next.”

“Then I won’t talk about the most important thing I lost.”

“…Fine.”

He acted all tough, but it was pretty clear that the important thing he lost was indeed his body. Not 100%, but 99% likely.

Yeah. It was 100% the same.

Not wanting to waste questions on trivial matters, I moved on. Next question.

“The body you had, or rather, used to have, was the ‘heart.’ What’s the exact function of the heart?”

“…Infinite magical power.”

As soon as I heard that ability, do you know what I thought?

Some humans might have guessed, but the first thought that hit me was definitely,

‘That’s cheating.’

Why… why doesn’t anyone give me a cheat like that?!

No, honestly, I’m essentially a vessel, right? I’ve entered a game world, right? Can’t I at least get some cheat skills given to me, even if it’s from a B-grade light novel?!

If there’s a creator behind this world, a god-like being who sent me here, then surely that idiot must be afflicted with art sickness, mistaking it for a fresh story because he broke the clichés…!

No, anyway, I still had a lot of questions left.

Complaining could wait.

Let’s focus on what I need to do right now. No need to act stupid and lose my intelligence.

“What do you mean we’re going to gather again?”

“…The body was originally one. It felt as if the god abandoned their body when they ascended to the heavens.”

“And?”

“Even after the god left, the power contained within that body was a tremendously strong type. Thanks to that, we started to slowly reassemble through some unknown means.”

“I don’t get it.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“When exactly did the god leave?”

“Oh, if we really have to specify, it would be before the Age of Spirits… over 800 years ago?”

“So, the body was completely split 800 years ago, and now that split body is trying to move to gather again? That doesn’t make sense. Didn’t they ever gather once in 800 years?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because the discovery itself has only recently taken place.”

To sum up Skylar’s words like this:

The god’s body was found only recently.
The god abandoning the body happened long ago.

In other words, someone discovered the god’s body… and then split it. And they distributed it across various regions of the world.

There simply hasn’t been enough time for the god’s body to gather back together completely.

But one clear thing stood out—

“That means humans who possess the god’s body will meet ‘by chance.’”

“Exactly.”

“That means how I met you… and how you met the Mad King…?”

“To be precise, it’s more accurate to say the incident where you encountered the Mad King.”

Now, most of my questions were resolved.

What remained was a very trivial… one lingering concern.

“What do you mean we have plenty of time?”

“Humans who possess bodies are fundamentally removed from the flow of time.”

“…What?”

“They don’t age. They’re not immortal, but let’s call it long-lived for now.”

I felt like I suddenly became something that wasn’t human.

Even though that was never what I wanted.

Skylar looked at me.

And then, he held up his fingers.

Five.

“What does that mean?”

“The number of questions I want to ask you.”

“…Spit it out.”

“What kind of being are you? Um, to be precise… how do you define your existence? It would be great if you can describe it as accurately and detailed as possible.”

“I am a bard.”

“More details.”

“I have narcolepsy, a habit of being clumsy, I’m timid, and honestly, I’m not sure, but I have strange eyes… just a pretty average bard.”

“No, you are absolutely not average.”

Skylar alternated his gaze between his hand and mine.
…What is this?

“Why?”

“Is it really…?”

“What do you mean?”

“You are absolutely not average. What kind of person thinks that’s average?! Do you genuinely believe you are average and that’s why you don’t respond when making a contract? Let’s be reasonable…!”

Should I be honest?

I feel like I perceive ‘me’ as separate from this ‘body.’ No, should I clarify a bit more? I indeed perceive them as separate.

In other words, ‘the highly intelligent me’ is pretty average.

That’s why I didn’t lie. I only stated what I think is an objective fact.

This was a variable Skylar had not considered.

“Next question.”

“…Do you have a split personality?”

“That’s ambiguous.”

Once again, the contract did not respond. Because I stated what I think is an objective fact.

Skylar won’t manage to get what he wants with just five questions.

I’m not a split personality. But, at the same time, I am a split personality.

I guess I’m the only one experiencing this contradictory state.

Can I just say my personality was divided based on the degree of intelligence?
My answer would be ‘ambiguous.’

“What’s the next question?”

“…Where do your memories begin? I see you as one of the subjects of the Church, the Mad King, the Empire, and the Mage Tower. Do you have even a single memory related to any of these four forces?”

“My memories start from the Adventurer’s Guild. The day I first opened my eyes and accepted a herb gathering request on the first floor of the Guild.”

“…?”

“Why?”

“You didn’t answer. I asked if you have any related memories.”

“Is that the fourth question?”

“…Ha, fine. Let’s go with that.”

“Unfortunately, I have no related memories at all. I still don’t even know what those four forces you mentioned are.”

Skylar sat down on the floor.

He probably found it uncomfortable to stand for too long.

I sat down across from him. My legs felt like they were reaching their limit too. It seemed my body had a strength level similar to that injured child like Skylar.

With all the wounds, bleeding, and depleted magic, I felt a bit down.

Skylar took quite a while to utter his next question.

He must have a lot to think about.

Everything he predicted and expected was shattered, and now he must acknowledge that I was right. The speed at which he accepts could be the difference between a criminal and a genius.

It seems Skylar leans a bit closer to the genius side.

In just a few minutes, he quickly organized everything and could answer the next question.

“You said ‘this body’s memory.’ Do you have two bodies?”

“…”

“This is the last question.”

“Ambiguous.”

Ambiguous.

Yeah, I believe that ambiguity is an objective fact from my perspective.

However, if a person has only one body, an ambiguous answer should not even come out originally.

Even if he got an ambiguous answer, Skylar would still believe my body is two.

That’s a clever question.

“…Alright. It seems we’ve resolved each other’s questions.”

“No, it feels like the questions and misconceptions have increased.”

“That’s… true.”

“Anyway, so what are we going to do now?”

“I have something I want to ask.”

I… wait.

What should I do?

My goal hasn’t changed. Surviving and returning are still my top priorities.