Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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Three days.

It’s the time it took for us to move to the city near the Church.

To explain what happened that led to this, I need a bit of time.

“Selina.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“You do know that if you hadn’t gotten lost along the way, we would have arrived within two days, right?”

“…Yeah.”

“And if you hadn’t fallen asleep on the way, we would have arrived within a day, right?”

“I know.”

“……Yes. That’s all I needed to hear.”

Honestly, I think it would have been comforting even to just curse a little.

Would you mind not making that frustrated face…?

Honestly, it’s not like I fell asleep on purpose, or that I wanted to mess things up.

No, what’s worse is that I hate how I get scared just because you made a fierce expression…!

Anyway, now that we’ve made it to the city, isn’t that what matters? There’s a saying that it’s okay as long as you head to Seoul, whether you go this way or that.

‘…Ah, thinking about it, Skylar wouldn’t know that saying.’

Clearly, the wisdom of our ancestors has not been passed down. If only Skylar had parents, he wouldn’t have grown up to be such a nasty little brat…!

“Did you just think something incredibly rude?”

“No…?”

“……Yes.”

“Can people who have or had a divine body sometimes develop intuition?”

“No. But since you suddenly asked that, you seem to be thinking something rude.”

I promptly shut my mouth.

Your Honor, I plead the fifth.

Anyway, despite everything that happened, we successfully arrived in this city where Skylar has an acquaintance!

At the far northern edge.

To Oggut!

*

Entering the city was quite easy.

The adventurer’s guild serves as both an ID and a sanitation certificate.

Once they confirmed we were wandering adventurers, they let us pass without proper procedures. It truly feels like the Guild—

Ah, the sanitation certificate was a proof of being ‘non-infected’ issued due to the disease known as the ‘Black Death’ that once ravaged the area.

That was the item I mentioned when I opened my eyes in this world and sorted my money and equipment.

‘How convenient. But also incredibly lax.’

Good things are good.

Let’s not overthink things.

It’s only going to give me a headache. Besides, my head is already fuzzy right now. It’s not the right time to think clearly. Let’s save that for later.

“First, let’s head to the Church… to meet my two acquaintances.”

“Two? I thought it was only one?”

“I said I had acquaintances at the Church. I never mentioned how many.”

“Do I really have to hide even the small things like this?”

“Yes. You’ve hidden plenty as well. It’ll help me feel a bit better if I return the favor.”

Damn this little brat.

I’ll definitely download this game again and smash your heads in as a combat-specialized character if I ever return to my original world.

‘But, it’s kind of funny to think about downloading the game again after being possessed.’

Well, surely I wouldn’t get caught twice.

I spent a whopping 70,000 won on a pre-order. Am I really just going to throw that away?

And am I supposed to bury the long-awaited sequel in a coffin after waiting for years to play it?

Absolutely not.

I’ve waited years for this game.

‘Just wait and see.’

Grinding my teeth, we headed toward the Church.

The path to the Church was longer and twistier than I had expected. Unlike regular cities, this city’s Church… doesn’t seem to be treated very well?

Thanks to that, I had a brief moment to look around.

A strangely empty scenery.

If I had to express this city in color, I’d casually think it would definitely be gray… it feels so desolate it’s hard to believe people actually live here.

There were a few pedestrians around, looking like adventurers like us, yet it still felt oddly lonely.

If I had to sum up my impression of this city in one word, it would be “alone.”

“How far is it to the Church?”

“It’s coming into view.”

“Still feels strangely out of place.”

“Yeah?”

“The fact that a Wizard hangs out with Church folks, and that you have two acquaintances.”

“Not all Wizards hate clergymen, and the stereotype that all Wizards are socially inept nerds should really be left behind, don’t you think?”

“I didn’t say it that harshly.”

“The meaning behind your words is pretty obvious.”

Ah, this behavior… feels familiar.

In modern times, we call this being “scratched.”

A little bratty behavior, isn’t it?

I don’t know how long you’ve lived, but right now, you just look like an ordinary boy.

‘A bit… human-like.’

It oddly reassured me.

To be honest, embarking on an adventure with someone who lacks virtue and humanity is… pretty much the worst. It’s definitely better to have company with someone who resembles a human.

*

How long did we walk?

We finally arrived at a shabby Church.

Creeeak—

With a creepy sound, the Church’s wall door opened.

It was of such a height that calling it a wall felt questionable, but there was a wire fence surrounding the Church.

“Let’s go in.”

“…The door opened and there’s no one around?”

“The owner of the Church is the type who enjoys pranks.”

Skylar said that this acquaintance is someone trustworthy… but hearing that he enjoys pranks made my trust drop immediately.

One more reason my already slashed trust hit rock bottom was the interior of the Church.

It looked so dilapidated it seemed unlivable. I rubbed my finger on a dust-covered chair, and something black came off it.

I was immediately horrified and sprinkled water from my pocket on my finger.

‘…I feel like I just lost a year of my lifespan.’

Every breath felt like dust got stuck in my nose. My throat felt scratchy. My eyes were burning.

I was overwhelmed with a strong urge to leave this filthy place immediately. However, Skylar strode confidently toward the Church’s pulpit as if he was accustomed to such places.

And then, at that moment.

A hand suddenly popped out from behind the Church’s pulpit.

A pale, white… a hand that didn’t look like it belonged to a human.

Skylar didn’t even flinch at the sight of the hand. Instead, he immediately grabbed the hand and looked behind the pulpit.

Since I was keeping my distance… no, to be exact, I was near the door of the Church to escape at any moment, so I couldn’t see who the owner of the hand was.

“Wow… still not playing along with the jokes, huh?”

“I don’t have time to play along with your childish tricks. I just want to supply food, water, and a temporary place to stay.”

“How long do you plan on getting a free ride?”

“…”

Skylar glanced my way and whispered to the pale man.

Then, the pale man laughed loudly.

“Yeah. That’s certainly my responsibility. But don’t think you can keep using that as an excuse to get free stuff forever.”

“Yes, I figured as much. By the way, where’s Nisha?”

“Oh, she’s off hunting for a bit.”

The pale man finished talking with Skylar and turned to look at me.

He straightened his hunched body and stretched for a moment.

Crack—

A sinister bone-cracking sound echoed.

He slowly started walking toward me.

As he got closer, I began to feel his size more keenly. He looked at least 2 meters tall. A physique rarely seen in this era.

Even though he was basically dressed as a cleric or priest, his build and muscles were impossible to hide.

—There’s no way I can win.

I froze in place. Perhaps because of my traits, I felt overwhelming fear from him.

Black hair, white eyes framed in black.

Pale and dark… a contradictory color.

Though he had a strong and gigantic body, somehow I imagined him as weak and precarious inside.

He grasped my wrist with one gigantic hand and held my face with another.

And then, with another hand, he wrapped around my waist… wait, what?

‘…Does he have more than two hands?’

He looked at my expression and burst into laughter.

“Skylar, unlike you, your friend is fun to tease.”

“Cut it out.”

“…What’s your relationship with them?”

“Not like that.”

“You don’t really have to hide that from me! I mean, you were old colleagues after all!”

“Propertyius.”

“Got it. I’m sorry.”

When Skylar shot him a sharp look, he withdrew his hands. The sensation I had felt at my waist had vanished like a ghost.

…What kind of power is this?

It was unlike magic. I could sense no magical power whatsoever. And divine power? Definitely not that. Divine power is supposed to be divine, after all.

This guy looked and acted nothing like a clergy or holiness.

I even doubted if he was really a priest.

Skylar approached me.

I had two questions I wanted to ask him, but I couldn’t inquire here.

As he examined my body closely, he sighed.

It was more a sigh of relief than disappointment.

‘…Worried? About me?’

Skylar leaned in close to my ear.

I could feel slightly warm breath, and my body flinched.

More than that, why was our eye level matched… Ah, without realizing, I had bent one of my legs. Basically petrified and feeling pathetic.

My pride was wounded.

“It’s not a big deal if you get caught looking, but try not to be obvious about it.”

“…Yeah.”

With Skylar’s warning, our bizarre meeting came to an end.

*

After Propertyius disappeared, we started cleaning and organizing the Church, preparing for the night.

It was a strangely sleepless night.

Suspicious sounds echoed from outside.