Temple Guardian (Haremlit Fantasy Adventure)

The bar was not what I would have called a friendly nor a sanitary looking place. The floor was sticky and the lighting was dim. More disquieting was the fact that it was empty. Well, not totally empty, there was one single man in the corner with his head on a circular table and a half finished pint in front of him. Of the barkeep, there was no sign. It was eerie, but I looked at Hana and Kira and I knew that neither of them registered any spiritual disturbance. Kira would likely have been bouncing from the walls and Hana would have heard something if there had been any demonic chatter.

I felt for the orb in my pocket. It was cool to the touch. Ok then, just a regular creepy bar. I walked up to the bar with Hana and Kira, my two leopard print princesses following behind. It actually felt a bit like I had two charlie's angels, or I was austin powers, any number of cheesy old school action heroes with a duo or trio of spandex clad babes to back him up. It was kind of cool, and sort of embarrassing at the same time. I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

I wrapped my knuckles on the wooden countertop and cleared my throat. There was no response. Nothing, no-one. If we wanted to, we could have robbed this place blind. I guess then we’d be the villains. Kill Bill, that was another one! Ok enough references. I turned to the ladies. Hana had her hands on her hips and Kira was copying her, studying her form. They looked abused. And amazing.

“You two truly couldn’t have gotten normal outfits huh!?”

“You don’t like it master?”

“I think he likes it too much is the problem, Kira,” Hana teased.

I shot her a dark look and was about to retort when I heard movement followed by a hacking cough and gruff voice penetrating the silence of the bar:

“Whaddaya want!?”

The man at the table had risen to his feet, beer in hand and was lurching unsteadily towards us. Hana had assumed a fighting stance, fists up, legs apart. Kira raised her hands and I saw her sharp nails glint in the low light. She too was ready. I stepped in front of both of them, putting my arms out in a gesture of defense and submission.

Can we not fight our way out of… every single situation?

“Sir we mean no harm, we just have a few questions if you have a moment. Is there a bartender around here?”

The man burped.

“Bartender? Hah! Well that’s me!”

***

In a kind of reversal of the traditional concept of sobriety the barkeep seemed to become more and more intelligible as he gulped down the fresh beer he’d poured himself. From the other side of the bar, his speech went from slurred to up-tempo. I supposed when you were so used to having alcohol in your system you actually got worse the more sober you got? I didn't question it.

We asked him if he’d known the shrine owner. He smirked at that and winked knowingly. In turned out, he did know our guy. A little too well. They were drinking buddies. This struck me as a little odd.

Can guardians really be barflies? If there is a rule prohibiting it in the handbook grandfather left, I guess I haven’t come across it yet.

In any case, it became apparent that the guardian of the shrine often stopped by after his shift to have a beer at this bar; he liked it because it was usually empty. I wondered how he felt about our barkeeper and his over indulgence, but I kept that question to myself.

The barkeeper told us several meandering stories but ultimately we got one important piece of information out of him: our man, the shrine keeper, Toyama, he would never have left the shrine all day long. Especially not without notice. Furthermore, the barkeeper had not seen him for about two days. It was suspicious he said, suspicious indeed. But then he shrugged, supposing perhaps it was a family emergency.

“People have all sorts of crazy shit happen to them!” The barkeeper said with a crooked grin, proceeding to launch into a long vulgar tale that caused Hana to have to cover Kira’s ears.

Eventually when the barkeeper tired of chatting our ears off and realized we didn’t intend on ordering anything his mood soured and he hinted very strongly we should leave if we weren't paying customers. Kira had asked for a glass of milk but this had incensed him even more as he considered it a joke.

We quickly found ourselves out on the street. We must have been in there listening to his tall tales for quite some time as when we exited into the fresh air once more it had gotten dark already. We decided as a team we had to go back and give the shrine gate one final try, even if all signs pointed to the fact that it would still be closed and the shrine keeper was away.

***

The orb had no glowing runes and it was not hot to the touch this time, yet it did something interesting as I held it in my palm in front of the gate. It began to spin, slowly at first, then speeding up, faster and faster. Kira’s eyes were wide and she reached for it but Hana held her back.

“Wait, let your master do his um… magic?”

I tried to focus, to go into a meditative state, to do anything to control what was unfolding but the orb seemed to move of its own accord. It left my hands and began to float upwards by itself. Then it began to glow, this time in a green light.

Miku, you couldn’t have given me a damn manual or something!?

The ball sped up and I felt a strange sensation, a pulling in my chest, a queasiness. The ball shot upwards then fell, over the other side of the fence. And then… I felt my body disappear from under me and I was somewhere else entirely.

It wasn’t like I passed out and woke up. I was just suddenly there. My vision was a fuzzy 360 degrees, it was extremely disorienting. But I tried my best to focus as I was whirled around this new and unfamiliar environment. I realized I was seeing from the perspective of the orb itself and was inside the temple as it spun and floated. I saw cobblestones… an inner gate… it was open.. Then black… blackness… nothing.

***

I gasped for breath and my gorge rose up from inside of me. The girls were on either side of me holding me up, my world was spinning. I was back in my own body. My head ached and my world spun. I heard a: clack click clack. The orb dropped at my feet. No longer spinning or glowing. Just a silver innocuous marble.

“What the hell happened Ryo?” Hana asked. I blinked and belched, nearly losing my lunch. It took me a moment to truly come to reality.

“Um… I think I just… became the orb?! I followed it inside. I can say two things for certain. One, that place is empty. And two… something is not right. The inner gate is open but no one is inside. And the lights are on! I think we’d better try to get in.”

“Yay, a new adventure!” Kira cheered.

If only I could share her enthusiasm.