ALL NOVEL Chapter 22: Souls at the Crossroads
Lilith moved through the makeshift medicae tent, her once-pristine white coat now stained with the myriad hues of human suffering. Her hands, steady and sure, worked tirelessly to staunch wounds, set broken bones, and offer what comfort she could to the endless stream of injured Guardsmen. She is already getting used to this kind of routine.
As she finished applying a tourniquet to a trooper's mangled leg, Lilith paused, her hand instinctively reaching for the silver Aquila that hung around her neck. She closed her eyes for a moment, reaching out with her mind for the familiar presence of Eve. But as it had been for the past week, Eve's consciousness remained distant, almost muted.
*'Eve?'* Lilith called out internally, her mental voice tinged with concern. *'Are you there?'*
A faint stirring, like a whisper on the wind, was the only response. Lilith frowned, her brow furrowing with worry. Ever since their conversation about their merging souls, Eve had grown increasingly silent. It was as if she was retreating, pulling away from their shared existence.
Lilith sighed, opening her eyes and returning to her duties. She wanted to press Eve for answers, to understand what was happening to them both. But Eve had promised to explain when the time was right, and Lilith had to trust in that promise.
The flap of the medicae tent rustled, and Lilith looked up to see the towering form of Sergeant Taelon ducking through the entrance. His emerald power armor was scorched and pitted, bearing fresh marks from the week's brutal fighting. Despite the weariness evident in his posture, the Salamander's eyes burned with an inner fire as he scanned the tent, finally settling on Lilith.
"Medicae Lilith," Taelon's deep voice rumbled, carrying easily over the groans of the wounded. "A word, if you please."
Lilith nodded, quickly finishing her current task before making her way to the Astartes. As she approached, she couldn't help but marvel at the sheer presence of the Space Marine. Even after a week of fighting alongside the Salamanders, the sight of them still filled her with a mixture of awe and trepidation.
"Of course, Sergeant," Lilith replied, her voice steady despite the exhaustion that weighed heavily on her shoulders. "How may I be of assistance?"
Taelon's gaze swept the tent once more before he gestured towards the exit. "Walk with me, young one. There are matters we must discuss."
Lilith followed the Salamander out into the cool night air of Armageddon. The sky above was choked with smoke and ash, the stars barely visible through the haze of war. In the distance, the dull thud of artillery fire and the occasional scream of Ork war machines punctuated the relative quiet of the Imperial lines.
As they walked, Lilith couldn't help but notice the respectful nods and salutes offered to Sergeant Taelon by the Guardsmen they passed. The Space Marines had been a beacon of hope in the face of the greenskin horde, their presence alone often enough to rally broken units and turn the tide of seemingly hopeless engagements.
After a few moments of silence, Taelon spoke, his voice low and measured. "The Waaagh! is breaking, Lilith. Our astropaths have confirmed that Imperial reinforcements will arrive within the next solar day. The battle for Armageddon is not over, but this phase of it is drawing to a close."
Lilith felt a surge of relief at the news, quickly followed by a twist of anxiety in her gut. "That's... that's good news, Sergeant. The Emperor protects."
Taelon nodded solemnly. "Indeed, He does, young one. But with the coming of reinforcements, it is time for the Salamanders to take our leave of this theater. Our battle-brothers are needed elsewhere in the Imperium."
The twisting in Lilith's stomach intensified. She had known this moment would come, had even discussed the possibility with Taelon before. But now that it was upon her, she found herself struggling to find the right words.
"And... and what of me, Sergeant?" Lilith asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Taelon stopped walking, turning to face Lilith fully. In the dim light of the fires burning on the horizon, his scarred face was a mask of shadows and flame. "That, Lilith, is why I wished to speak with you. The offer I made before still stands. The Salamanders would welcome you among our number, to study your unique... condition, and to help you understand the gifts the Emperor has bestowed upon you."
Lilith's mind raced. She thought back to her conversation with Eve about their merging souls, about the unprecedented nature of their existence. The Salamanders, with their deep lore and powerful Librarians, might be her best chance at understanding what was happening to her.
But as she opened her mouth to respond, another thought struck her. Armageddon. This war-torn world of ash and blood was the only home she had ever known. The orphanage where she had grown up, the Steel Legion that had trained her, the very ground beneath her feet all of it was here.
"Sergeant," Lilith began, her voice trembling slightly. "I... I'm honored by your offer. Truly. But Armageddon is my home. The people here, they need medicae. They need help. How can I leave them behind?"
Taelon's expression softened, a look of understanding passing across his features. "Your loyalty to your home is commendable, Lilith. It speaks to the strength of your character. But consider this – the knowledge you could gain, the skills you could develop among the Salamanders, they could make you an even greater asset to your people in the future."
Lilith's hand went to the silver Aquila at her throat, her fingers tracing the familiar contours of the Imperial symbol. "But what of my duty to the Guard? To the oaths I swore?"
"Your situation is... unique," Taelon replied, choosing his words carefully. "Your abilities, your dual nature – these are not things that the standard structures of the Imperium are equipped to handle. Among the Salamanders, you would have the freedom to explore your potential without fear of misunderstanding or persecution."
The memory of Commissar Voss's bolt pistol aimed at her head flashed through Lilith's mind, causing her to shudder involuntarily. Taelon was right; her existence was a contradiction in the eyes of Imperial doctrine. A psyker and a blank in one body? It was unheard of, and the Imperium's usual response to the unheard of was often swift and final.
"I... I need time to think," Lilith said, her voice barely above a whisper. "This isn't a decision I can make lightly."
Taelon nodded, placing a massive armored hand on Lilith's shoulder. The weight of it was immense, but somehow comforting. "I understand, young one. But know that our time here grows short. We will likely depart within the next two solar days. Whatever your decision, it must be made before then."
With that, the Salamander turned and strode back towards the Imperial lines, leaving Lilith alone with her thoughts. She stood there for a long moment, staring out at the war-torn landscape of Armageddon. In the distance, she could make out the hulking forms of Ork war machines, silhouetted against the fires that raged across the battlefield.
*'Eve,'* Lilith called out in her mind, desperation coloring her thoughts. *'I need you. Please, talk to me.'*
For a heartbeat, there was nothing. Then, like a candle flickering to life in a dark room, Eve's presence made itself known. When she spoke, her mental voice was faint, as if coming from a great distance.
*'I'm here, Lilith. I'm sorry I've been... doing some thinking. There's so much I need to tell you, but I'm afraid. Afraid of what it might mean for us both.'*
Lilith closed her eyes, focusing on the tenuous connection between them. *'Whatever it is, Eve, we'll face it together. We always have. But right now, I need your help. Sergeant Taelon has offered to take us with the Salamanders when they leave Armageddon. To study us, to help us understand what's happening to us. But I don't know if I can leave. This is our home.'*
There was a long pause before Eve responded, her mental voice stronger now, tinged with a mix of emotions that Lilith couldn't quite decipher. *'Lilith, listen to me carefully. What's happening to us... it's not just about understanding our abilities. It's about our very existence. We're changing, merging in ways I don't fully understand. The Salamanders might be our best chance at figuring this out before it's too late.'*
Lilith's eyes snapped open, her heart racing. *'Too late? Eve, what do you mean? What aren't you telling me?'*
Another pause, this one heavy with unspoken fears. *'I'm not sure, Lilith. But I can feel it; we're becoming something new, something that's neither fully you nor fully me. And I don't know what will happen when that process is complete.'*
The implications of Eve's words hit Lilith like a bolt round to the chest. She staggered slightly, her hand reaching out to steady herself against a nearby Chimera transport. The cool metal beneath her fingers helped ground her as her mind reeled.
*'So you think we should go with the Salamanders?'* Lilith asked, her mental voice barely a whisper.
*'I think we need to,'* Eve replied, her tone grave. *'But Lilith, this has to be your decision. You're the one who's lived this life, who's formed these connections. I'm just... I don't even know what I am anymore.'*
Lilith took a deep breath, trying to center herself. She looked out over the battlefield once more, her gaze sweeping across the Imperial lines. She saw Guardsmen huddled around fires, cleaning their lasguns and sharing rations. She saw medicae moving between the wounded, offering what comfort they could. She saw the massive forms of Salamander Space Marines, standing vigilant against the darkness.
And in that moment, Lilith realized something fundamental about herself and about both of her selves. They were protectors at heart. Whether it was Eve's fierce determination to survive or Lilith's drive to heal and save lives, they both shared a deep-seated need to safeguard others.
*'Eve,'* Lilith thought, her mental voice growing stronger with each word. *'You're not just some passenger in my mind. You're part of me and maybe the best part. Without you, I won’t be even alive right now. And if we're truly becoming something new, then I want that something to have the best of both of us.'*
She felt a surge of warmth from Eve's presence, a wordless acknowledgment of the bond they shared. Eve is surprised by these kinds of emotions, after all she is not used to it and maybe she’s already going soft. As Lilith continued, her thoughts becoming clearer as she spoke.
*'We can't protect anyone if we don't understand what's happening to us. And we can’t just hide forever, sooner or later they will be others who will come to us.'*
Lilith's hand went to the silver Aquila and the vial with the pressed flower at her throat once more, her fingers closing around it tightly. She thought of Sister Mercy and Sister Victorine, of the lessons she had learned in the orphanage. She thought of Sergeant Thorne and the Guardsmen she had fought alongside. She thought of the wounded she had tended to; of the lives she had saved.
And she knew what she had to do.
With purposeful strides, Lilith made her way back through the Imperial lines, searching for Sergeant Taelon. She found him conferring with a group of Salamander battle-brothers near the command tent. As she approached, the Space Marines turned to regard her, their expressions unreadable behind their helmets.
"Sergeant Taelon," Lilith called out, her voice steady and clear. "I've made my decision."
The Salamander turned to face her fully, his scarred face illuminated by the flickering fires around them. "Speak then, young one. What path have you chosen?"
Lilith took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle upon her shoulders. When she spoke, her voice carried a strength and conviction that surprised even her.
"I choose to go with the Salamanders," she said, her eyes meeting Taelon's unflinchingly. "My duty is to serve the Emperor and protect humanity to the best of my abilities. To do that, I need to understand what I am, what I'm becoming. The knowledge and resources of the Salamanders offer the best chance of achieving that understanding."
Lilith spouts those words naturally but deep inside, she wanted to know what brought her to this universe and perhaps she can find the answer if she decides to go with the Salamanders.
She paused for a moment, glancing around at the Imperial camp. "This is a decision that I can’t decide lightly, Sergeant. Armageddon is my home, and its people are my people. I won't abandon them entirely."
Taelon nodded solemnly. "Speak your mind, Lilith. What conditions would you place on your decision?"
Lilith squared her shoulders, standing as tall as she could before the towering Astartes. "I ask that once we've learned what we can about my condition, I be allowed to return to Armageddon to serve in whatever capacity I can."
She paused, wondering if she was overstepping, but pressed on nonetheless. "Then, I ask that you help me say goodbye. There are people here who have shaped who I am. I owe them an explanation, and a proper farewell."
For a long moment, Taelon was silent, his eyes boring into Lilith's with an intensity that made her want to look away. But she held his gaze, channeling every ounce of determination she possessed.
Finally, the Salamander spoke, his voice carrying the weight of mountains. "Your conditions are accepted, Lilith. You show wisdom beyond your years in not severing your ties to this world entirely. As for aid to Armageddon, know that the Salamanders have always stood with the people of this planet, and we will continue to do so long after we depart."
He placed a massive hand on Lilith's shoulder, the gesture both paternal and filled with respect. "As for your farewells, I will see to it personally that you have the time and opportunity to speak with those who matter to you. The bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood are sacred to the Salamanders. We would not ask you to break them lightly."
Lilith felt a weight lift from her chest, even as a new one settled in its place. She had made her choice, for better or worse. Now she would have to live with the consequences.
"Thank you, Sergeant," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "I... I won't let you down. I swear it by the Emperor's light."
Taelon nodded, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his scarred mouth. "I believe you, young one. Now go, rest. Tomorrow will bring new challenges, and you will need your strength to face them."
As Lilith turned to leave, she felt Eve's presence stirring in the back of her mind. There was a warmth there, a sense of pride and affection that washed over her like a comforting blanket. Even as Eve didn’t utter a single word, Lilith knew what she was feeling at the moment.
Lilith nodded, both to herself and to the unseen presence that shared her mind and soul. As she made her way back to her quarters, she couldn't shake the feeling that she stood on the precipice of something monumental. The path ahead was shrouded in uncertainty, but for the first time in a long while, Lilith felt a glimmer of hope once again.