Chapter 67: The Dark Past
Crap... That hurt. My true self was there for the world to see. How embarrassing.
‘Funny, you are worried about embarrassing yourself after getting smoked by those two.’
“Oh, shut it. I’ll admit that you were smart, but I didn’t get smoked. And shouldn’t you be crying about his death?”
‘Oh please, you forgot to use smite. My brother can revive the dead if they aren’t smited, so the only casualty was Mammon, and even then, he caught you, and still administered the phrase. Oh, and they can revive him as you didn’t use smite then, either.’
“You little cheater!”
‘What? All’s fair in love and war.’
“You think you are so funny, don’t you.”
‘I like to think so. I mean, it’s even funnier that if you continued to administer energy to me, you actually would have won that fight, but oh wait! If you do that, I’ll slowly kill you from the inside. What fun, eh?’
“I hate you.”
‘Oh, don’t be like that, self-hate is a bad thing.’
“I liked it better when you were screaming.”
‘Eh, I loved the part when they started to sympathize with you. You were blushing so much! Hahaha!’
“SHUT UP!!!”
Rose hadn’t stopped harassing me for the entire flight.
‘Goodness, seeing your true memories, your world is amazing. Why destroy it?’
“Shut it.”
‘Shhh I’m reading T*nsura.’
“What?”
‘If your story were made into a webnovel or a light novel, what would it be called?’
“Shut up.”
‘I reincarnated as a stuck up *****. Nah, ooh, I reincarnated as a ***hole. Nah, not literal enough.’
“Will you shut up?!”
‘Nah... that wouldn’t be a good name. OOH Reincarnated as the weakest god.’
“...”
‘...’
“I would probably actually watch that.”
‘Same.’
…
“Hungry.”
‘Wanna see if there’s a nearby butcher?’
“Yeah, I have money. Wonder if they have a winery?”
‘Should.’
We watched Swo*d art o*line season 1 while eating.
“As far as I saw there were only 2 seasons.”
‘Cool.’
“I hope they didn’t continue it; it was fine as is.”
‘Can’t wait to watch season 2.’
“Next meal.”
Somehow, both of us being weebs allowed us to get along.
Our moral compasses were widely different, but eating and anime were where we were good with each other.
Whenever she’d get bored of prattling, she’d explore my memories and admire the technology and beauty of Earth.
‘I still can’t find why you’d want to destroy it.’
“Eh, I don’t need to explain myself.”
‘Alright... touchy.’
Whatever she viewed I could also see, so she made an effort to avoid the dark ones. Despite what I’ve done to her, she still wanted to make sure I was comfortable... Why?
‘What’s this one?’
“Please don’t touch that.”
‘Okay...’
She moved away, but I could see her looking at that folder. A group of memories that I knew would shatter her view of that world. For some reason, I didn’t want to ruin it.
‘Is it why you want to destroy that world?’
“...”
‘Could I at least see one memory, so I can decide if it’s too negative for me.’
Of course, she could sense my worry.
“... fine, but only one.”
I pulled out a specific memory.
_
“Mom, why are we coming here again?”
“Well, honey, the school is worried about you and wants the doctor to check you.”
“I like that they are concerned about me.”
“Yeah...”
“Mom?”
‘Why is this in the section where it shows what you hate?’
‘Keep watching.’
Me and my mother were in a car, heading to the psychologist, but I thought it was a normal doctor visit. I was honest with my therapist, and then the school asked my mom to bring me for a scan.
We arrived at the office and I, at 11, was playing with the toys, I could maintain my attention there, but I would notice the odd looks my mom gave me.
“Hello, Heather, right?”
I looked up.
“That’s me!”
I smiled and stood up. He looked odd, not friendly like the other doctors I got checkups at.
“Could you please follow me?”
I looked to my mother, and she nodded.
I followed the man to a backroom where he did a basic checkup, and he told me to lay down on the mat.
‘What’s going on?’
‘An MRI scan, it checks your brain for many different conditions.’
‘Awesome.’
‘Of course, that knowledge can lead to bad things. Keep watching.’
He pushed the mat into the machine, and I giggled at the weird machine.
Then after a little he pulled me out and checked the results, he seemed to pale a bit, but he kept a straight face.
‘What did he see?’
‘He’ll say it.’
My mother was called in and she sat down, holding me on her lap.
“Alright, so the good news is that she doesn’t have any debilitating diseases.”
My mother breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.
“And the bad news?”
“She has a high level of psychopathy at a scale I’ve never seen.”
My mother’s smile faded, and she put me down.
“What do you mean?”
“She can be classified as highly dangerous; I’d suggest either keeping her under supervision at all times or using high level drugs to calm her.”
“I’m not doing either of that.”
“Mam, calm down.”
“Alright, but listen, I don’t care if she’s a psychopath or not, she’s my kid.”
“Do you not remember why this thing was scheduled? Because she stated that she always checked how easy it would be to hurt someone.”
“Yeah, check! She’s never hurt someone!”
“And how do you know she never will?!”
“Mom? What’s going on? Why is the doctor yelling?”
“Heather honey, you have a... condition that makes people trust you less. I still trust you fully, but others won’t.”
The doctor sighed.
“I guess that was asking too much, but at least give her a tag so people can be cautious.”
“I can... accept that.”
‘What’s psychopathy?’
‘Increased rationale in exchange for empathy.’
‘So, why do they act as though you are some sort of beast?’
‘Because this is a warfaring world that fears those who have the backbone to fight.’
‘So, they were afraid of you because you had decreased empathy?’
‘No, they were scared because they thought I did. At that time, I was a regular kid who simply analyzed people's fighting potential. They thought that meant I was willing to hurt them and didn’t listen to my justification.’
‘What was the justification?’
‘If they attack me, I want to at least have a rough idea of how strong they are and potential counter measures.’
‘That’s logical though. Why would they call that monstrous?’
‘Because they were scared of me.’
‘... could I see another?’
‘Fine...’
I showed her the day of school after that.
“Hey, Heather, what’s with the sticker?”
“Amy, it’s supposed to be something that tells people I’m psycho or something.”
“Cool!”
“Heather’s a psycho?”
Amanda, my friend, looked at me in shock.
“My mom says psychos are scary people.”
“Am I scary?”
“Try spooking us.”
“Boo.”
We all giggled.
‘This is adorable.’
‘Wait and see.’
We entered our homeroom. Then Mrs. Burns spoke,
“Can Heather come to the front of the class please?”
I came up, confused.
“Now, I know some of you may have heard, but Heather was diagnosed with psychopathy.”
Some kids' demeanor changed quickly. Mrs. Burns kept talking,
“So, if you feel at all uncomfortable near her, please tell me, so I can handle it.”
‘WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THAT TO A CHILD?!!’
Rose’s anger touched me.
‘Unfortunately, those with psychopathy were treated as monsters in training. Even though most lived normal lives, we were still excommunicated.’
‘That’s horrible...’
‘Yes, it is.’
Rose was thinking about it, so I spoke more.
‘Many of us become therapists as our logical mind allows us to face emotional moments.’
‘Why not fighters? That would be what you would be suited for as well.’
‘They’re too afraid that we’d shoot our own allies.’
‘That’s ridiculous. With more rational, you’d be master strategists.’
‘They are concerned about the decreased empathy part.’
“Mrs. Burns, Heather is making me uncomfortable.”
“Heather, stop it or I’ll report you to the principal.”
“But I didn’t do anything!”
“Heather, I don’t care, you are making him uncomfortable, so stop.”
What was I doing wrong? I continued talking to Amy and she was getting ticked off.
“These people are being jerks for no reason.”
“I don’t know why. They were fine with me until today.”
I was close to crying. Another kid started complaining.
“Mrs. Burns, Heather is bothering me!”
“HEATHER, I TOLD YOU TO STOP!!!”
“HEATHER ISN’T DOING ANYTHING!!!”
Amanda shouted in my defense. I was crying I this point.
“Don’t yell at me, missy. Heather and Amanda, both of you go to the principal’s office.”
Me and Amanda walked down the hall.
“Psychos are supposed to be scary, but these meanies are way more scary.”
I was crying in her arms. Amanda was 12, and she was bigger than the others. She was hugging me when we entered the office.
“The principal will see you now.”
We entered the office, and the principal had a sour face.
“Mr. Davis, people were bullying Heather.”
“Mrs. Burns told me she was harassing them.”
“Because she wasn’t even looking. She was talking to me and Amy, and the others just started whining saying that she was bothering them.”
The principal sighed then he looked at me and his gaze softened.
“I can pardon you and tell Mrs. Burns to learn what happened instead of assuming, but I should tell you that this will happen a lot more. People don’t like those who are different from them.”
“You’re fine with it though.”
“That’s because one of my best friends is a psychopath, he’s a wonderful person that cares immensely, but because of his condition, people type him as a bad guy.”
“Why?”
“Because one of the main conditions of psychopathy requires the person to remain interested in things, if they get too bored, they’ll move onto the next thing.”
“Okay?”
“And sometimes, psychopaths decide to be mean to prevent being bored.”
“But I won’t, I promise.”
“Yeah, I know, but others don’t understand.”
‘At least some people were nice.’
‘Yes, but the worst of it is yet to come.’
‘Could you summarize it?'
‘I tried to become a doctor, but, apparently, they were worried about me deciding to mistreat or stab someone for the heck of it, so they denied me.’
‘That’s stupid. What became of Amy and Amanda?’
‘Despite their parents being wary of me, they remained my friends.’
‘So, why do you want to destroy this world?’
‘Let me show you.’
I showed her the memory that I didn’t want anyone to know, but she was me... She could handle it.
‘This is how I died.’