The Deadman

Kato, in the dimly lit room,  was staring blankly at the wall. His thoughts were consumed with worry and fear. He felt like he was against the world, like everyone was conspiring against him. He couldn't shake the feeling that had been growing inside of him after.

He got up from his chair and paced back and forth across the room. He couldn't stand the silence anymore, so he turned on the television, but the constant chatter and noise only made him feel more anxious. He turned it off and sat back down in his chair.

He felt like he had been dealt a losing hand in life and he couldn't see a way out. Tears welled up in his eyes as he began to feel overwhelmed by his emotions. He didn't want to feel like this anymore, but he didn't know how to stop. He felt like he was trapped in a never-ending cycle of worry and fear.

He took a deep breath and tried to push the thoughts out of his mind. He reminded himself that he had been through tough times before and had always found a way to overcome them. He told himself that things would get better and that he just needed to have faith and keep going. But even as he tried to reassure himself, he couldn't shake the feeling of this uncertain dread that had recently taken hold of him.

The woman that he knew has changed. One hundred years. It’s enough to make even the kindest woman he had ever known into a Gia Silva. Someone who might as well be fighting the world. He felt this strange worry. This dread he was unable to just throw away. Kato clenches his fists again. He remembers the fierceness, the passion she invokes as she said those words in the Convocation. He couldn't shake the feeling of worry that had been growing inside of him. He kept replaying the images of the Convocation in that place, seeing the people trying to fight against her, the accusations and veiled threats. He knew that she wasn’t such a pacifist, but he couldn't help but worry that she would get caught up in the chaos. No, he was sure that she would.

He tried to focus on something else, anything else, but his mind kept drifting back to her. He thought about all the times she had stood up for what she believed in back then, even when it meant going against the norm. Wasn’t that the case? Why had he fallen in love with her? He admired her courage and determination, but he couldn't help but feel that this time, she was fighting against something much bigger and more powerful than she realized.

He got up from the table and paced around the kitchen. He wished he could be out there with her, standing by her side, but he had a job to do and demons to kill. He felt guilty for not being there to support her, but he knew she would understand. He thought she would understand.

He couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, that she was in danger. He put his head in his hands. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. He just wanted his wife to be safe and home with him once upon a time the moment her belly started to grow. He promised himself that he would always stand by her and support her, no matter what she was fighting for, but right now, Kato was not so sure.

While she was a star lighting up the darkness to some. She’s also a harmful light that has caused harm to others. Kato wasn’t so moral either. He’s not so good that he’d be angry about what she had done. He feels biased when it comes to those who he has affection for and that will not change.

Kato opened the heads-up display in front of him through his smart glasses. He felt a pit in his stomach as he read through the emails and reports about Gia Silva. They were all so accomplished, so successful, and he couldn't help but feel inadequate and inferior in comparison.

He thought about all the things he had yet to achieve in his time here. He couldn't help but compare himself to Strato, despite being a machine, seemed to have it all together. He felt like a fraud, like he didn't belong in the same room as her.

He thought it was because he wasn't good enough. Compared to Katey who has done so much with her knowledge of their previous world. He was lacking. He was ignorant and was selfish. And yet Kato knew that all he could offer to this world was fighting skills. The lessons he learned in fighting for coins. 

He felt the weight of his own inadequacies pressing down on him. He didn't know how to shake the feeling of inferiority that appeared inside of him. He thought back to all the times he had been told he couldn't do something and how it made him feel like not enough.

He knew he needed to focus on the present and not get bogged down by the past, but it was hard to shake the feeling of inadequacy. He couldn't help but think that maybe if he had just worked harder, or if he had just been more talented, things would be different.

He took a deep breath and tried to remind himself that everyone has their own path and own time to reach their goals. He also reminded himself that success should not be measured by external validation. He promised to himself to work on his self-esteem and work on becoming comfortable with who he was. But for now, the feeling of inadequacy and inferiority still lingered in his mind, making it hard for him to shake it off.

Kato didn’t like the feeling. He felt like learning that the woman he had loved has become such a figure made him feel like he needed to do something. He is proud of her, no doubt about that, and yet there is a part of him that wants to be by her side and stand on the same stage.

He knows it can’t be at the moment and maybe never will. Will there ever be a time it can be allowed knowing how the world sees her? He could feel it back then at the beach. How she couldn’t back down. 

He saw her fear as well. She isn’t so simple-minded either. She could be patient if it means he’d be safe. And revealing her affections would just mean he’d become a weakness.

Kato moved to the balcony, staring out the window and lost in thought. He couldn't help but wonder if his wife, Katey, still loved him as much as she did all those years ago.

The years had been unkind to them, it had also taken their toll. Kato’s head of hair was now gray and she has a different appearance altogether  with eyes that had dulled with age. They had not grown old together. Kato looked back over the missed century, he couldn't help but question if that love was still there.

The heart can change. For him it’s not been long since they met again. Comparing the time that they had been together to the time she spent living as Gia Silva made Kato wonder if she’s just finding comfort in something familiar. It made him wonder if her love was still there.

***

She looks around to scan the room. The morning sun filtered through the blinds as Katey woke up, reaching for her lover's side of the bed. But it was empty. She sat up, her heart racing as she realized that he wasn't there. She pulls up the blanket to cover her bare chest.

She looked around the room, searching for any sign of him, but there was nothing. His clothes were gone and the armored spine that she almost ripped off his skin last night was nowhere to be found. She couldn't believe that he would just leave like this. Or was it a fever dream again? She tried to shake off the feeling of dread that was building in her chest as she got out of bed and began getting dressed. She told herself that he must have just gone out for something and then he saw his silhouette sitting on the balcony.

It was Kato, and he was sitting alone, staring off into the distance.

Katey felt her heart skip a beat as she realized that he must be deep in thought, and something was troubling him. She wanted to go to him and ask him what was wrong, but she didn't want to intrude on his solitude.

She decided to wait and watch him from afar, her heart heavy with worry. She saw him run his hands through his hair, and she knew that something was definitely bothering him.

She couldn't help but wonder what could be weighing on him so heavily. Was it something she had done? Was it something she said? Whatever it was, she knew she had to find out.

She made her way to his side and approached him. He looked up as she approached, and she saw the sadness in his eyes that he immediately tried to hide behind that mask.

"Kato, what's wrong? What's on your mind?" she asked softly.

He looked at her for a moment before sighing deeply. "It's just a thought, everything is getting too much," he replied, his voice heavy with exhaustion.

Kato reached out and took his hand in hers, offering him comfort and support. Kato didn’t reply and kept his silence. Katey felt like she wanted to do something she hasn’t done for a hundred years. She goes to the kitchen, and finds ingredients. The perks of being in a hotel like this was the amount they’d put for the cost of the suite.

The aroma of freshly brewed real coffee and pancakes wafted through the room as she stood in the kitchen, a smile on her face. Today was a special day.

She carefully arranged the pancakes on a platter, and then poured the syrup over them, making sure to use the maple syrup.

As she was setting the table, she heard her husband, Kato, stirring in the balcony. 

"Made a meal," she said, as he walked to the table.

"Can’t believe I get to eat this again," he replied. "I can't believe it's been a hundred years. It feels like just yesterday, really.”

Katey smiled, her heart warming at his words. "I know, it's hard to believe. But look at us, we've made it this far. I’m just somewhat happy that we get to meet each other despite time and space," she said as they sat on the table and started their breakfast.

Then her hands freezes at the thought of her killing him that day. If he didn’t have a way to escape and return alive… she would never know. And she’d be back to her laboratory doing her research.

They sat at the table and chatted as they ate, reminiscing about all the memories they had shared in another life. They laughed and smiled, feeling grateful to be sharing this special day together.

But as hours passed they knew that they had to part. The thought of running away and abandoning it all crossed her mine for a moment, but something in her mind snapped.

She can’t run away. No. She can’t allow herself to run away.

“So… where will you be staying?”

“Lux City… I need to do some work.”

“Kato, I–”

“I know. You have that look in you that won’t back down. I have a lot of complaints, and have a lot of questions to ask. I want to be selfish right now, truly, I really fucking do. But seeing how everyone’s after your throat. I know where to stand.”

“Not worried about your wifey?”

“Been always fierce. Even back then you’re the type to never back down. And seeing you right now, I don’t think I can convince you either.”

“You can try.”

Please do.

He looks up and then shakes his head.

“I understand.”

“Maybe you don’t.”

“Go and do what you’ve done. I’m not so foolish to stop you when you clearly have more ability than me.”

Katey blinks as if she understands where this was coming from. “Kato,” she said softly. “Never think of yourself as inferior to me or lesser. Don’t you dare to underestimate my affection.”

Then she takes a bite out of her food. “Still, this has to be done. It has to be if I want to keep their mouths shut.”

Fury ran in her veins. Katey reins in that fury and holds it tightly. She didn’t want to ruin her mood for now.

After breakfast, she teleports Kato out of the hotel and finds themselves in an isolated crossroad with no prying eyes that would spy on them.

The sun was setting over the city as Katey and him stood ready for their upcoming paths. 

"I can't believe this," Katey said. "We're really doing this after meeting again."

"I know it's hard, but it's for the best. You gotta do what you have to do," Kato replied, trying to comfort her. "This is for the good of both of us. You're going to knock it out of the park and maybe I’ll try to make a name for myself in the field. It's going to be hard, but we can do it. We'll be together again before you know it."

“Just don’t try to get yourself killed please,” Katey said as she forced a smile, knowing deep down that he was right. Maybe she had insisted too much and now he could only say this. "You're right. I'm just going to miss you so much," she said, her voice choked with emotion.

"I'll miss you too," Kato said, pulling her into a tight embrace. "But we'll talk every day and call as much as we can. It'll be like I never left."

They held each other for a few minutes longer, neither one of them wanting to let go. Finally, they reluctantly parted, their hearts heavy with sadness but also filled with hope for the future.

"I love you," Katey said, looking up at Kato with determination.

"I love you too," Kato replied, leaning down to give her a kiss. "Now go make the most of this opportunity, and I'll see you soon."

With a wave and a mutter, Katey turned and walked into this ‘tunnel’ she created, her heart heavy but her mind grimly set on something. 

 

***

 

Kato watched her go, a lump forming in his throat as he realized that this was just the beginning of a long and difficult journey of problems, hoping that in the end, it will be worth it.

As they each set out on their separate paths, he couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness at their temporary separation, but also a sense of hope for what the future held. 

The streets were bright and lively as he made his way through the crowded streets. The ancient buildings seemed to come alive in the moonlight. He walked with a sense of purpose, taking in the beauty of the city around him. Trying to get his mind off things.

As he reached the edge of a river, he stopped to take in the view. The water was calm and the sun was bright, reflecting off the surface. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, savoring the moment.

He reached into his pocket and took out a pack of cigarettes, pulling one out and lighting it with a flick of his lighter. He took a deep drag, feeling the familiar rush of nicotine as he exhaled a plume of smoke into the air.

He couldn't resist the urge for a smoke. He knew it might be bad for him, but there was something about the ritual of smoking that he found comforting, especially when he was feeling troubled.

As he smoked, he thought about the choices he had made. He thought about all the things he had seen and all the places he had been. He thought about insisting on telling her to stay even for more. 

Maybe he’d find a way to let her stay. He didn’t think he was being a coward either. He just knows how much the world is trying to rip her throat and his presence would bring her worry. He can feel that it will be trouble. That he cannot change the mind of a person that has already decided on what she wanted to do. Even back then, if they really wanted to do something, they would respect each other’s wishes. He respects her wishes and she respects his. It’s simply absurd to even think that their lives would revolve around each other. And knowing that she’s in this world and alive was enough for Kato right now.

And honestly he wants to let it settle in his head that she’s in this world. Doing her best and fighting against folk trying to harm her. That this world he passively looks at has her living and fighting for it. Had some worth looking after. And perhaps if she’s tired of the mess she’s in, she’d run away and then come see him. That in this world there’s a place she can run to.

“Fuck, now I have to actually care about you all. Be glad that she cares about you all. In any case, I was already killing demons anyway. Might as well fight on. Help her fix the mess she made.”

He realized that  this life was surprising, and that he needed to live it to the fullest, to not waste a single moment. He made a promise to himself to not waste anymore time on the past, and to live in the present. He threw away all the feelings of inferiority and inadequacy for a moment, boldly trying to pretend it wasn't there.

“Val’s probably curious where I just left.”

He finished his cigarette and threw the butt into the river. He turned to head back to the place where he texted Val to meet him, feeling a sense of peace and contentment wash over him.

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