ALL NOVEL It was early autumn when he first met Xia Cheng but Beijing was still hot, so hot that Zekun Li didn’t even want to leave the house.
It rained during the daytime. Finally, the night cooled down a little. All of Zekun Li’s friends called him out to have fun and he finally said yes despite his reluctance. They went to the club. He lost his interest after several rounds of arrow-shooting so he sat aside to watch his friends playing bowling.
Someone proposed to sing karaoke around 10 p.m. Everyone seconded while Zekun Li put out his cigarette and said, “You go have fun. I’m going home.”
Yu Song stopped him. “Hey, the whole gang is here. Come on, this isn’t right.”
Zekun Li smiled. “I’ll pass. When you are high, you get whores and gambling and drugs. I don’t want any of that.” Zekun Li was young but he was restrained. His hobbies were loftier than other childes’, such as horse-riding, parachuting or diving. Zekun Li had some friends that were kids from normal families. He was sexually mysophobic. He never took whores with him. He just resented that kind of places and people worked there from the bottom of his heart.
But today, these people wouldn’t let him go. They promised him, “You decide the games tonight. If someone or something upsets you, we call it quits. What do you say?”
Zekun Li thought they wouldn’t go too far and he didn’t want to go home either. It made no difference wherever he stayed.
The manager had reserved the best room for them. Zekun Li found a spot to sit down and started to play his cellphone, ignoring his friends who were shouting about “get your pretty boys and girls here” to the manager.
ZeKun Li was scrolling Weibo while his friends were laughing and bragging.
One rich boy was quite a show-off. He said the night was on him. They could spend however they liked. He’d just got a new card from his dad.
Another officialling tried to imitate him. He gave a playful look around the room and said in a grin, “Pick any song you like. As long as the singer is in Beijing, I can get them here to sing for you!”
Yu Song wanted a boy. He passed him the microphone. It was their rule that none of them sang the first song.
As the first note of the song came out, the entire room quieted down. The waiter quickly changed another song trembling.
The boy picked an old song, large letters of the title and singer displayed on the LED screen, In the Field of Hope by Liyuan Peng.
The officialling’s face twisted. Yes, he was joking, but he wasn’t supposed to be humiliated by a money boy!
The boy didn’t know what the hell was going on. He wasn’t listening to those rich kids. He couldn’t sing while the microphone was shoved into his hand so he just picked a song that his mother sang a lot when he was little.
Zekun Li put down his phone while the atmosphere was so intense in the room. He slowly looked up at that boy and giggled. He waved at the boy in a smile. “Let me see, who is this fearless kid.”
Zekun Li had the highest status in this room. Everyone just laughed it off after seeing his expression remained the same.
Yu Song nudged the boy towards Zekun Li and said, “Come on, he’s rarely interested in someone.”
The colorful lights in the nightclub were so bewildering and dazzling. It took Zekun Li quite a while to find out that this was still a kid, about 18 years old, very pretty. His eyes were peach blossom petal-shaped, which was very rare and he had those smiling lips.
Someone handed the boy a lighter. “Light the cigarette up for Mr. Li here.”
Zekun Li smiled, he really had a cigarette between his fingers. But that boy didn’t move; he seemed to hesitate. He was panicking and fighting himself inside.
Zekun Li never liked to compel anyone. He was a bit bored; that little sparkle in his heart was out. He just took a lighter out of his pocket. Ding, there went the blue fire. But the moment he tried to light up the cigarette, a whiff blew out his fire.
The room quieted down again; even Zekun Li was stunned this time. That boy probably didn’t want to upset the customer but he didn’t know what to do so he blew out Zekun Li’s fire in panic and lighted up the cigarette himself!
Zekun Li tossed the cigarette aside, the tepidity in his eyes became lust like an aggressive animal looking for prey. “Are you for sell?” He was turned on.
There was a hint of stiffness and awkwardness on the boy’s face but he looked down and muttered, “Yes…”
Zekun Li grabbed his wrist and got up. He looked around the room as his friends were waiting for the follow-up story. “I’m taking him with me. You guys go wild here.”
That day, Zekun Li exceptionally picked a money boy. The first thing he asked when they were in a hotel was “What’s your name? I mean real name.”
Xia Cheng, a warm and pure name.
Money boys disgusted Zekun Li at the time. He thought to himself that it only sounded pure. Zekun Li was brutal to that money boy for fuck. He had fun. He nearly bled the boy when he finished. A tight money boy was very scarce. Zekun Li limped when he got off the bed. He looked back at Xia Cheng, who was too worn out to open his eyes.
“He is pretty.” He talked to himself as he took three thousand in cash and put it next to Xia Cheng’s pillow. He didn’t bring much cash that night but three thousand wasn’t a small amount. It was as much as a top money boy would get.
Zekun Li didn’t expect to meet this boy again.
It was late autumn when Zekun Li went to the nightclub again after two months; it had gotten colder. Zekun Li wore a hoodie, looking young and swanky.
When ushering him in, the manager tried to put his words together. He seemed to have something to say. In the end, he equivocated, “Mr. Li, you’ve bought Summer out, right? It’s been a while since you last came here. He misses you a lot.”
Zekun Li wasn’t familiar with the name. He said in a cold tone, “I don’t care for money boy.”
The manager grinned. “I know. You picked him two months ago, but you can’t buy him out.”
Zekun Li was confused. He vaguely remembered a boy though. He questioned, “What made you think I’ve bought him out?”
The manager said, “He didn’t sell himself again ever since he came back that night. If someone wants him, he just refuses with your name… Naughty boy.”
Yu Song joked beside Zekun Li, “You’re stuck with him.”
Before Zekun Li said anything, the manager agreed, “Yeah, a little climber who’s gone out of his mind, but well… He met you in his first evening; no wonder he has those thoughts.”
First evening? Zekun Li was a bit surprised.
And then he did buy Xia Cheng out.
At first, one thing interested Zekun Li the most was that he told the truth about everything. When Zekun Li asked him why he got into that business, Xia Cheng went straightforward and said it paid a lot. He also asked Xia why he, Xia Cheng laughed and said he was the most handsome one among those people.
Zekun Li never had anyone like Xia Cheng. The boy who was into Animal World and Tom and Jerry, the boy who always spoke with careless childish laughter, the boy never tried to twist the hurtful word randomly popped out of his mouth. He was like a small heater that warmed Zekun Li’s entire world.
Zekun Li learned Xia Cheng’s past after they were together for a long time. The boy did well in the College Entrance Examination. He got into Beijing Normal University from the remote northwest. The hospital said his mother had some sort of blood disease. Xia Cheng was introduced here to sell alcohol for commission at first but he was so pretty. The manager tried to convince him so many times and kept saying it would get him a rich backer.
Xia Cheng hesitated for long but he made up his mind when he saw Zekun Li that night. It wasn’t the first time he saw Li. he had noticed this man long time ago. This man was so cool and handsome with a pair of proud lazy eyes. He might not look decent but he never had an escort for once.
If it wasn’t Zekun Li that wanted him that night, he probably would hesitate longer. Maybe he had fallen for him before that.
When Zekun Li learned all these, Xia Cheng was already a diagnosed leukemia patient. It was genetic. Zekun Li held his hands with a pale face as if it was him with deadly cancer.
Zekun Li really loved Xia Cheng at the time. He started to realize that all those seemingly careless truths turned out to be lies. Xia Cheng, just like his name indicated, was warm and pure. He’d rather live with others’ despise than trade his misery for compassion.
Xia Cheng was always that silly childish boy who could only sing In the Field of Hope. He would do stupid things when he panicked. He called Zekun Li by his name when they became close. He could tell by the look on Zekun Li’s face whether he would be having fun or doing chores.
Zekun Li just said only one thing to the doctor in the ward, “Cure him at all costs.”
Zekun Li thought he wouldn’t easily fall in love with someone but he was wrong.
After Xia Cheng was gone, every time Zekun Li recalled him, he thought he probably deserved it. He took the bone marrow others needed and he chose to live with the consequence but how come, in the end, Xia Cheng still ended up dead.
Time went back to the early autumn night when he first met Xia Cheng, Zekun Li looked at him in a smile, “Be my boy, will you?” Xia Cheng blushed.
The dream ended there. Zekun Li got up abruptly. He carefully wiped the sweat away on his forehead, sighed and held the pillow Xia Cheng once used tight. He couldn’t sleep again, he stared at the little gap between the curtains until dawn.
“I do… miss you.” Zekun Li mumbled and closed his eyes again.