ALL NOVEL Chapter 21: Chapter 20
The group sat wide eyed and speechless as they watched the video of a disguised Captain Unohana and a very…excited Captain Zaraki. Isane passed out right after she watched her Captain invade the rectum of the eleventh division's fearless leader. Rukia and Nanao were getting their nosebleeds treated by the star of the film, and Kukaku, who was sharing a bowl of popcorn with Yoruichi and Rangiku, cackled loudly as she cheered the fourth squad Captain on.
Unfortunately, the video cut off a couple seconds after Unohana snatched Kenpachi's eye patch off. Luckily, that was basically the end anyway. Everyone's eyes stayed glued to the screen even after the screen went blue. Rangiku stood and hit the lights, then turned and stared into the mortified faces of more than half the women in the room.
"Retsu is that bitch!" Kukaku blurted. Everyone winced at her calling the fourth squad Captain a bitch and looked to said captain to see her response. Thankfully, Unohana knew that coming from Kukaku, it was meant as a compliment. She smiled and bowed politely in thanks. The room collectively sighed in relief and faced forward giving Rangiku their undivided attention.
"So Captain, we've all seen the video, but were you able to complete your mission," Rangiku said looking to Unohana.
"Of course," the small Captain said as she stood. She walked to the front of the room stopping in front of the blonde woman. Grabbing Rangiku's hand, she reached in her pocket to retrieve the bells, and placed them in Rangiku's hand. "It was five, correct?" she said calmly.
Rangiku looked over to Yoruichi before both of them just shook their heads and laughed.
"You keep em'," Rangiku said, handing the bells back to Captain Unohana..
She gave Rangiku a warm smile, and then went back to her seat. It was hard to believe that this was the same woman they just watched do all those unspeakable things. None of them would ever look at her the same way again. The two leaders of the group had a new respect for the already esteemed Captain.
"Ok, well that was fun right?" Rangiku said looking at the still slightly dumbfounded group. No one uttered a word.
"Uh…ok well, it's funny that Captain Unohana decided to tape her… uh, adventure? Coincidentally, it goes hand-in-hand with this week's lesson which is 'A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words'. Now I'm sure we all know what that means and I'm sure we can all agree that the video we just watched showed us much more than the Captain could ever have told us. Now, since I enjoyed it so much, I've decided to make things a little more interesting. From now on, when you report back to us after your mission, you will bring pictures or a video. You can either have someone take your pictures or video for you, this person will be your 'accomplice', or you can do it yourself, as Captain Unohana has so marvelously done."
Moans and groans came from every corner of the room, but Rangiku simply ignored them.
"Ok now that that's over with, let's see whose turn it is this week. Rukia," she said looking at the list of names.
"Yay, Rukia," yelled Orihime as she bounced up and down in her chair, clapping her hands. Rukia frowned at the over excited human girl and slowly rose from her seat.
"Go on, Rukia," Orihime said pushing the smaller woman to move faster. "I'll cross my fingers and hope you get someone good like maybe Brad Pitt or maybe Captain Kuchiki, he's handsome."
"Incest much," Kukaku said under her breath. There was a collective sweat drop as the bubbly orange haired girl continued to push Rukia to the front. Orihime stood beside her for moral support and held up her crossed fingers for everyone to see. Rukia took a deep breath, closed her eyes and reached into the box, pulling out the first paper her fingers touched. She quickly handed it to Orihime.
"You open it, I can't do it," Rukia insisted.
"Oh, thank you, Rukia! I won't let you down!" Rukia's eye twitched as everyone else watched them in amusement. Orihime excitedly unfolded the paper and read the name to herself before she began jumping up and down again.
"Yay, Rukia! You got Mayuri Kurotsuchi! Isn't that great? I knew crossing my fingers would work."
Orihime's words fell on deaf ears because Rukia lay unconscious at the busty girl's feet. "Oh my gosh, Rukia!" she exclaimed, noticing her friend on the floor. She knelt down and cradled the Kuchiki princess in her arms. "She must be really excited," she said to the group, who for some reason all looked a little nauseous. "Who is Mayuri anyway," she asked no one in particular. Cue second collective sweat drop.
"You know. Creepy mad scientist guy with the face paint…Captain of the twelfth squad," Rangiku said, trying to jog the girl's memory. Orihime looked like she was going to hurt herself she was thinking so hard. Rangiku sighed. "His bankai is a gigantic worm baby looking thing...you know, with the poison."
"Ohhhh, Captain Kurotsuchi!" she exclaimed, as if that wasn't the same name she'd read off the paper.
Everyone in the room just stared at her with a blank expression. They had no words.
Week 4: Rukia Kuchiki and Mayuri Kurotsuchi
Mission: A Picture is worth a Thousand Words – I'm too Sexy for my Make-up
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