The Empress’ Livestream

Chapter 755: Mister, Let Me Tell You a Joke

A punitive expedition with good and proper reasoning supporting its necessity?

Her will for it was the most reasonable reason.

To Jiang Pengji, the strategy of controlling the emperor and using his name to command all his vassals was beyond useless.

Not only would coercing the young emperor bring her no benefits, but it would also turn into a self-imposed, restrictive burden.

For this reason, even though the livestream viewers were eagerly persuading her to give the strategy a try so that she could have a taste of the experience, Jiang Pengji remained unmoved.

“Bogao, are you alright?”

Jiang Pengji stretched her hand out towards Huang Song, and he did the same with a blank expression. She exerted some strength and pulled him up.

“Thank you, Lanting.”

Huang Song breathed out a long sigh. He was about to raise his arms to wipe away all the sweat, but he was embarrassed to find that his sleeves were stained with blood. The urge to vomit that he had suppressed with much difficulty surged up again. He quickly bowed in apology before turning around and vomiting again. This time, he didn’t even have any stomach acid left to throw up. He could only dry retch.

As for the fact that Jiang Pengji was a woman, that had been pushed to the back of Huang Song’s mind. In other words, he had no extra energy to think about it.

When the old woman had torn into several palace guards, Yang Jian had shielded the young emperor with his body. Now that he had escaped from that daunting experience without any mishaps, he too returned to the group of officials.

“Liu Zhongqing…. is that really your daughter?”

Yang Jian was a military official and his title was not on the same level as Liu She’s. Taking advantage of the chaos, he got close to Liu She and asked him this question.

Liu She was unperturbed and his lips turned up in a slight smile. He made Yang Jian choke on the first words coming out of his mouth. “Whose daughter is she if not mine? Yours?”

Yang Jian almost lost his composure. “I’m not trying to start an argument or blather at you. Clearly, I’m asking you this with all seriousness.”

“Naturally, Lanting is my daughter. It’s been hard on her all these years to put on men’s clothes and act like a male,” Liu She said calmly.

Yang Jian was speechless. His expression became very strange and awkward.

Liu She asked him, “What? Why is your expression is so weird? Is it because you’ve lost to Lanting and it makes you feel like you’re a failure now?”

Yang Jian harrumphed. He turned his head and ignored Liu She.

However, Liu She had hit the nail on the head.

If he had lost to a young man, Yang Jian would have been magnanimous and said that the old were bound to be replaced by the young. He was old, and he could not be compared to a young man. But now Liu She was telling him that it was an eighteen-year-old girl who had defeated him. Yang Jian was astonished. He also felt an indescribable sense of defeat and frustration.

But when he recalled the scene where Jiang Pengji had killed a person with ivory writing tablets in a counterattack, he couldn’t help but feel admiration.

With such divine power and skills, his defeat at her hands had been worthwhile and honest.

The eunuchs and palace guards packed the old woman’s body up before wiping away the bloodstains on the ground. The young emperor was carried away for a change of robes after having the piss scared out of him. It just didn’t sound good at all. It would be too preposterous if he carried on with the court meeting while his imperial robes smelled of urine.

The stench of blood in the air had been significantly diluted with the help of the incense burner. However, the thrilling scene was still deeply imprinted in the minds of all the officials.

The officials returned to their respective positions. Yang Tao patted his chest nervously. “Father, is Liu Xi really a woman?”

Yang Jian hid behind his ivory writing tablet and turned his head to the side. He said to Yang Tao, “If even Liu Zhongqing has acknowledged it, how can it be false?”

Yang Tao’s eyes widened in astonishment as he swallowed nervously.

He found the whole thing utterly unacceptable as he recalled how Jiang Pengji had ruthlessly murdered soldiers on the battlefield.

“It’s so hard to imagine. She’s a hero, a real man. How did she become a girl in one morning?”

Yang Jian’s army had worked with Jiang Pengji in the past. In addition, Yang Tao loved to play around with knives, swords, sticks, and other weapons. He had always treated Jiang Pengji as his trusted brother.

“So what if she’s a girl?” Yang Jian glared at his useless son, feeling irritated. “It doesn’t matter whether she is a man or a woman. What’s important is that she’s the governor of Wanzhou now! Look at you! If not for Shao Yang working tirelessly to help assume your responsibilities, I wouldn’t even dare to bring you out.”

Yang Tao’s temperament caused Yang Jian to feel very worried.

If he were to let his son off the proverbial leash, he would run off, chasing whatever was fun and shiny. If not for Yan Lin, his close friend and thoughtful nanny, how would Yang Jian even dare to bring Yang Tao outside?

Yang Jian had only one son. He was really afraid that he was simply too dim-witted to function. He would probably kill himself with all the pointless crap he always got involved in.

Feeling aggrieved, Yang Tao lowered his head with a frown. The way he looked made Yang Jian so mad that he wanted to hit someone.

“The way I see it, you’re more like a nobleman’s daughter than Liu Zhongqing’s daughter! You’re a grown man, what are you feeling aggrieved for? Lift your head!”

Yang Tao felt aggrieved every day.

On the other side, Wuma Shang, who had escaped danger with much difficulty, returned to his position. The surrounding ministers moved away from him, avoiding him like a viper.

Although Wuma Shang kept saying that he was wrongly accused, the previous scene was just too horrifying. The ministers felt traumatized.

Xu Pei was utterly silent. Xu Fei seemed to have thought of something and he raised his hand, jabbing his cousin in the stomach with his ivory writing tablet.

“What?” Xu Pei glowered at him.

Xu Fei raised his eyebrows and said with a gloating expression, “If I remember correctly, Brother Pei, you got some dancers to serve Liu Xi in the past, right?”

Xu Pei’s face darkened.

It would have been fine if Xu Fei hadn’t mentioned that matter, but now that he had, he felt so angry.

They were both children of the Xu family clan. The way that Xu Fei stabbed him in the back was just too nasty.

Xu Pei had always believed that Xu Fei was sabotaging him from within, driving a wedge between him and the Liu family’s father and daughter. Naturally, he would not speak nicely to Xu Fei now.

“Hmph, you remembered that correctly. What about it? Male homosexuality is in the vogue right now, can’t Liu Xi like women? Is such a thing even worth being flustered about? It’s as if you’ve never seen the world.” Xu Pei was in a bad mood. He had a team member, his cousin, who was as dumb as a pig. He could forget about it if Xu Fei made stupid mistakes occasionally, but he’d undermined his plans just now, causing him to lose the chance to make Liu She and his daughter owe him a favor.

Xu Fei wanted to watch his cousin embarrass himself, but he hadn’t expected him to be in such a bad temper. In a surprising reversal, he was the one who was getting a tongue-lashing.

Xu Fei replied with a disdainful snort as the two brothers continued to look at each other with loathing.

However, as the current subject of interest, Jiang Pengji was very calm.

She accepted her appointment as the governor of Wanzhou smoothly and steadily. The councilors couldn’t get jealous. Every one of them stood woodenly, acting more like a backdrop to the event than participants.

How could they dare to get jealous?

Consider the old lady just now… In the blink of an eye, that person had gone from being alive to being a pile of dismembered body parts.

All of them were ordinary folk, so they were not as tough as that evil demon. There was no need to use five ivory writing tablets on them. Just one was enough to send them back to their maker.

The court assembly had started out strong but finished weak. The numerous officials and councilors drifted out of the main hall in a daze.

In less than half a day, the news that Jiang Pengji was a woman had spread throughout the imperial city of Chenzhou like wildfire.

“Hahaha! Mister Yang, Mister Feng, I heard a really funny joke today!”

Li Yun and other generals lived in the camp outside the city, but they didn’t have anything going on after training, so they went into the city for a stroll.

Halfway through their walk, Li Yun heard a piece of particularly funny news, and immediately went to find Yang Si and Feng Zhen to share this news.

Yang Si was absent. Feng Zhen held a scallion pancake in one hand and was devouring it as he did some calligraphy. He almost made a mistake in his writing when he heard Li Yun’s laughter.

“What’s so funny? Tell me about it!”

Feng Zhen put down his pen and stuffed the last piece of the scallion pancake into his mouth. He drank a mouthful of tea to moisten his mouth.

“There are people outside saying that our lord is a woman! Hahaha! Mister, don’t you think it’s funny?”

Feng Zhen looked at Li Yun with pity on his face, showing concern for his seemingly mentally-handicapped child.

Li Yun suddenly realized that Feng Zhen was not laughing. He stopped, feeling dull and vapid.

“Mister, don’t you think that joke is funny?”

“It’s not a joke. Our lord is a woman. Why would I laugh?”

Li Yun was stunned.

Wait, was he still dreaming?