Chapter 45: A Sweet Surrender
Yun kicked the basket that held his crumpled correspondence over.
His hands gripping into fists as he glared at it in the flickering light of his quarters.
Everything had been perfect! His father had every detail plotted out ages ago…
Yun was supposed to swoop in with the useless Nam son and rescue Elisara after she’d spent years getting that stubbornness beaten out of her…
They’d paid that wretched Duke Icarus a hefty sum to seize her after helping Soo Hebin abduct the princess from the palace, but the useless Troivackian noble had been caught and she’d been out of his grasp again.
Until lo and behold, he heard whisperings from one of his connections at Ori harbor about a half Zinferan woman called Eli traveling with some suspicious men.
Why the hell hadn’t Icarus mentioned that Elisara had had a child?!
Then again… It was probably right around the time that the duke had been captured that she’d fallen pregnant.
That ruddy scholar, Joe Voll, probably slipped in and got his hands on her while traveling in Troivack or something to that effect.
Yun grit his teeth, his eyes cutting to his desk that was typically kept flawlessly neat, but he had bashed it out of his way in a fit of rage, and so its contents lay across it askew.
I thought if I could marry her and simply associate myself with the royal family at a distance like that concubine suggested, it’d be enough, but now I could rule over the Nam family. She is far too valuable to leave her to rot in a marriage to that man… Who is most likely a witch…
Pausing his furious pacing, Yun’s emotions settled abruptly as they often did.
“There are rumors about the devil… I doubt Soo Hebin is unaware that Elisara is here.” Yun muttered to himself. “All I’d need to do is say that I met with the princess and that she is plotting to return and take over the throne, and I’m sure she’d then be willing to lend me some help… If I could have a powerful witch or two help me kill off her husband and son, I can tell Her Highness that Elisara will no longer be a threat. I’ll make it known that I only want to become the head of the Nam household and we’d be loyal to her son once he takes the throne… Yes. That should be enough to convince her.”
With this new plan, Yun sat down at his desk, a new spark of hope igniting once more.
I’ll fix this, and after I do? Everything will be even better than I had ever planned.
Father will be proud.
***
Tam awoke with a start, though his mind tried to hold him back under the blanket of slumber. He rarely fell into a deep sleep… Once or twice growing up he had momentarily appeared in the void due to some horrible nightmare, and so he had managed to train himself to wake should a dream start to become stressful or during the slightest of changes to the environment around himself.
So he was more than a little shocked to see not only Eli in bed beside him… but Luca.
He stared down at the two of them, utterly awestruck; his panic abated only a little as the situation was processed.
Eli’s eyes were red and swollen, and her cheeks were flushed too…
She’d been crying.
Tam barely fought off the urge to wake her up right then and there and ask why she had been upset, but what helped him win this fight was the sudden realization that Luca was holding his hand.
He stared at the small hand clutching his own dumbly… Then noticed that Luca was also holding Eli’s hand, and instantly Tam felt emotions well up. He laughed, though he did his best to do so quietly.
I guess I understand why she might have been emotional– I’m going to start weeping here in a moment myself. Though I might just be an obtuse arse in assuming that’s what it was…
Tam sighed, wondering to himself how someone could ever cross the chasm of trauma that was as large as Eli’s in terms of family and relationships, when he noticed the rosy evening sky just outside the window.
The future duke knew he needed to start getting ready to break into Lord Guk’s house.
Tam looked back at Luca’s hand, then at his son’s sleeping face, and the task suddenly seemed next to impossible to motivate himself to do.
Gods… Is this what a normal life would be like? A life where I’m not trying to live up to a hero father and a spy master mother? Or in fear of my magic…?
The idea was utterly intoxicating, and while he didn’t want to acknowledge it, a small seed was planted at the idea of a quiet family life of his own.
Tam gave Luca’s hand a gentle squeeze before carefully sliding his fingers free from his son’s hold, and eased himself off of the bed.
Then he idly sniffed under his arm.
He could use a bathing, but that would have to wait. It was a better idea to prioritize eating before leaving. Besides, he’d see about splashing some water there and that should be enough to–
A quick, whispering movement drew Tam’s eyes upward. Eli had risen from the bed, her left foot braced on the bed frame, her right hand lifted back as though she were about to cast a powerful magic.
Tam watched this dumbly, but once he overcame his startle, waited for the sleepy confusion to drift from Eli’s eyes as her mind joined the conscious land and understood there was no imminent danger.
When Tam felt certain he wasn’t about to be attacked, his mind started to whir into motion.
Eli’s power… He hadn’t really given it much thought, but if it was strong enough that she’d learned to brace for it? He was inclined to suspect she had wind magic.
But she wouldn’t be scared of it if it were simple wind magic, and furthermore, the Giong Coven would’ve helped train her. Especially if she were close in line to the throne…
Tam was pulled from his thoughts by Eli as she placed both feet on the ground and glanced just past Tam at the sky outside.
Her eyes widened. She then moved closer to Tam before giving him a short, affirming nod that she knew it was time to get ready, then padded her way over to the dresser and started quietly working to pull out a black shirt and pants.
Tam barely fought off a smile at the way those funny hairs at the top of her hand fluttered about.
Then he pulled his own shirt off and moved toward the wardrobe in the back left corner, only Eli turned around and was starting to take off her own shirt, and when her sights landed on Tam, they both froze.
Momentarily stunned, self consciousness flooded Tam’s being, he felt his face heat, as he watched Eli’s eyes rove over his bare torso… But his embarrassment ebbed when he saw a glint in her expression that told him…
She was having a reaction to seeing him without a shirt.
A cheeky smile rose on Tam’s face as he squared himself to her and raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner.
It was Eli’s turn to flush red when she met his gaze, but she proceeded to return the favor by mirroring Tam’s position and resumed sliding her shirt over her head.
Shock bolted through Tam and he found himself rooted to the spot…
Because Eli had been living openly as a woman, she didn’t have her bindings on.
She was standing half naked in front of him.
Tam felt his knees weaken.
What the hell is she doing?!
Taking a shuddering breath that did little to help his stuttering control, Tam tried to force himself to turn around, but then he made the mistake of meeting Eli’s gaze.
The look in her eyes…
His heart thudded violently in his chest.
She looked shy and vulnerable, but when he again gave her a questioning look of alarm that let her know he hadn’t a clue why she was standing there, baring herself to him without a care in the world when she knew how he felt…
Gods help him.
She gave a nod.
Delirious panic, hope, excitement, and thought-stopping want drowned Tam’s senses.
He rubbed his face with his right hand, and let it rest over his mouth, his eyes never leaving Eli’s, save for when she glanced briefly at Luca who, without Tam or Eli on either side of him, had allowed himself to flop over onto his stomach, his face turned to the other side as he slept, unaware of what was happening behind him…
Tam dropped his hand.
It then took three steps for him to stand nearly toe-to-toe with Eli, and she had to tilt her head back to keep looking up at him…
His heart skipped a beat when he noticed her trembling and her quick, quiet breaths that accompanied the look on her face.
The look of tentative opening, a look that risked a trickle of bigger emotions toward him, a look of nervous trust…
Tam’s head swam as he struggled to force himself to confirm that he was understanding her.
Lifting his right hand to gently grasp her neck, his thumb pressing lightly against her cheek, Tam’s eyebrows twitched once in silent question as he lowered his face closer to hers. He stopped, mere inches from her mouth, and waited.
Was she certain?
Eli’s breath caught in her throat, and it nearly undid Tam right then and there as he held still.
She was shaking under his touch, but Tam knew by the way she leaned into his hand, it wasn’t because she didn’t want him there.
Windchimes from outside gently rung out into the quiet.
Eli looked at his mouth, and then back at Tam’s eyes, and again, she nodded.
Tam was done waiting.
He dropped his mouth to hers and kissed her, pure happiness pouring from even the darkest reaches of his being.
Especially when he felt her warm hands rest on his hips, and she kissed him back.
Tam pulled her into himself, needing her to feel the intensity simmering in him, needing her to understand what she was doing to him…
He broke away only when he had to breathe, his eyes opening in the haze of heady emotions to see that her own had darkened, and the dazed longing in her he watched start to edge toward urgent desire…
A muffled sleepy moan sounded from Luca.
Both Tam and Eli sprang apart, and Eli threw her shirt over her head in the blink of an eye, while Tam flew across the room and threw a fresh black shirt over himself.
The pair then turned in unison to see that Luca was still sound asleep, and had only grabbed more of the comforter to hug while he slept on his side with his back to them.
Seeing this, Tam’s attention darted back to Eli, who had managed to fully change while Tam had been busy dressing himself.
Though the way her cheeks were still blushing… She looked beautiful.
Tam swallowed. Then straightened.
Knowingness steadying him.
He drew his shoulders back and stepped back over to Eli, though this time he moved slower, and he watched as she fidgeted, uncertain what he was about to do.
When he once again was right in front of her, Tam let out a breath, then got down on his knees.
Panic flooded Eli’s face. Tam managed to give her a half reassuring smile as he gave his head a small shake to let her know that proposing marriage wasn’t what he was doing… Not quite yet.
Instead he took her right hand, kissed her knuckles, and rested her palm against his chest so she could feel the thrumming weight of his heartbeat.
Her eyes widened, and Tam smiled up at her before covering her hand with both of his, and bowing his head so that it rested against her middle.
Despite not a word having been spoken, Tam felt as though she understood exactly what he was trying to say…
Remember what I said. You can do, and have, everything.
Tam basked in the moment, hoping she wasn’t already regretting what they were in the middle of, but his worries were quieted as her left hand softly brushed through his hair, making him tilt his face back up to look at her.
Eli crouched down, her expression shifting toward wary concern, and Tam took it to mean…
Slowly. Please. Go slowly.
He smiled, and bowed his head briefly to her in assent.
Whatever she wanted.
Eli smiled back, albeit she still looked unnerved, there was a spark in her eyes that hadn’t been there before that lightened her entire face, and somehow made her all the more stunning. As a result, Tam found himself thinking how the woman had absolutely no idea the lengths he was willing to go for her.
But perhaps, for the time being, that was for the best, because the truth was that there were no limits to what he would do for her, and he could tell that she would need to discover this on her own.
Eventually.
When she was ready to accept that he was planning on giving her absolutely anything she wanted that was within his power to give.