ALL NOVEL Chapter 9 – Clothes, Trauma, and Shoes!
CW:
The phone made a plethora of emotions pass through me. I was happy, excited, and overwhelmed. Staring at the thing I thought about how this thing all started.
Just a few days ago, I was staring at my own phone with the same mysticism. Now I looked at a much older version. One that was entirely there for one purpose–survival.
I flipped the phone open. The little snap was fun to hear and it brought me back to when I was younger. My mom had a phone just like this. She got me a play flip phone because I wouldn’t stop trying to open hers. The only one available was a barbie flip phone and I loved it. That was until my dad saw it. Then I never saw it again. The memory stung.
I turned my focus back to the matter at hand. With the phone open, I hit one of the keys. There was an abrupt high pitch beep! But the screen stayed black.
No, no, no! This can’t happen! Hazel’s my only connection!
My eyes started to tear up at the thought. I hit a bunch of the buttons in frustration, hoping that the phone would spring to life.
Nothing seemed to work. The screen was just empty.
I took a sharp inhale and sighed at my misfortune. Completely giving up I threw the phone at the wall. Unexpectedly, the force of my throw wedged it in the wall. I stared at my hand in disbelief. I couldn’t formulate a thought at the time. I was completely dumbfounded.
I slowly walked to the wall where the phone was wedged. I had to shimmy in between the nightstand and bed. Slowly, I reached my hand towards it. I gripped it and tried to pull it out. I pulled and pulled and pulled. But it wouldn’t budge. I was used to the crappy drywall structures of crappy apartments.
Is this a frogging solid wall??
I was baffled at the concept. I tried to pull some more, but eventually gave up. The wall had a new decoration and I was fervently annoyed.
I sighed and turned away from the wall. My mind started to play through all the scenarios.
Could Chels consider this lying?
I was terrified by the thought. Immediately, I knew how to solve my fears.
Chelsea.
A couple seconds went by and I didn’t feel anything. Then there was a slight pressure. I let it happen. Mostly, I was just happy I was able to understand scrying now. Knowing that Chelsea was seeing and hearing me, I spoke out loud.
“Hi Chelsea.” I grimaced. I didn’t know how to talk to someone viewing the entire world through my eyes. It just felt wrong. “So, you told me not to lie to you anymore, and I want you to know that I’m abiding by that, so…” I looked up towards the wall. My eyes settled on the crappy phone wedged in the wall. I laughed slightly. It wasn’t funny, but I was concerned. Laughing a little seemed like my natural reaction.
“I was trying to contact Hazel,” I started, but took a pause. I realized the implication was bad, but I had to keep going. Taking a deep breath then exhaling, I began again. “I was trying to contact Hazel and when the phone didn’t work, I may have, kinda, sorta, through it at the wall.” I felt like a little kid telling their mom they broke a vase horsing around. I was both worried about how Chelsea felt about the wall and how she’d feel about what I was doing prior. I felt so small in that moment.
I sighed and continued, “I just thought I should let you know. I’m sorry. I’ll go set up my phone now and avoid doing dumb things.” I shut my eyes. I wasn’t really sure if Chelsea was still scrying on me. I’d felt the pressure at the beginning, but nothing much after. After a few seconds with my eyes closed, my ears popped. It was a weird sensation. It wasn’t as intense as when my ears popped on planes, but a soft similar sensation. I assumed that meant Chelsea was blocked out from scrying.
I pushed the confusion out and walked to the kitchen back to the shiny new toy. I went through the steps to activate the phone. It was simple enough, even if I had to make a random new email.
I guess I’m sticking with Isabelle.
I thought as I placed my new name into the new email address. I could’ve gone with an alias, but this was the first name I ever liked. I didn’t want a new one.
As I clicked the last activation pop up, my phone opened to a familiar screen. The message app pinged with a new message.
Phone number (Maybe: Tory?): hey belle!! its tory! i know mom said u couldnt come out with me, but just ft [FaceTime or video call] me and i can show you around some stores!! im at the macy’s on 34th so theres a ton! call me when u see this!!
I sighed. The message was entirely too peppy. I made Tory the contact and hit the FaceTime button. I wasn’t even surprised that she answered on the second ring.
The sibling resemblance was evident once I saw her. It was like looking in a funhouse mirror that got the facial features a little different than normal. She excitedly spoke up.
“Hey little sis! Ready for your virtual shopping trip!” She goofily grinned and I cringed. Yes, I wanted clothes, but I was still aware of how awkward this was.
“Yuck,” the sound left my mouth before I could think. I saw her eyebrows shoot up in surprise then dip in sadness. “Sorry,” I quickly apologized. I wasn’t sure if this was some manipulation tactic, but I immediately felt bad. “I do want to shop. I was just thinking that was a weird thing to say in public. Like what do other people think about you just on FaceTime in the middle of the store?”
Her happy mood returned immediately, “Oh that’s what you were worried about?” She asked the question as if my thought meant nothing. “This is New York, hun. I could strip down to just my underwear in the middle of this department store and the only people who’d look at me would be tourists. You didn’t have much time to live here did you?”
“Uh, no. Somebody…took that chance away from me.” I stared at the screen with some malice. “Granted I feel a whole lot better with my body, but I still didn’t get a choice in the matter!”
“Oh choice schmoice. Who cares?! Now,” she paused to pull a basic looking sweater from the rack, “what do you think of this?”
There wasn’t much to it. It was black and had a picture of the moon landing, an astronaut, and the word “NASA” written across the chest.
“Uh, yeah. It looks cool, I guess. I wasn’t a huge fashionista prior to meeting you two. I mean, I kinda was a whole different gender too.”
“Well yeah. But there’s no way you don’t have a feminine style. Easy. You seemed to like my clothes? Because we can start with basics if you want.”
“Yeah, I liked them. But I really like Chelsea’s style sometimes too.” I rubbed my hands together. For some reason, that was a hard thing to admit.
I felt a small pressure in my head. I rolled my eyes and let Chelsea scry on me.
“Oh my god,” I sighed, “are you gonna check on me every time I say or think your name?”
Tory started laughing as she caught on to what was happening.
“She’ll do that if you let her. Especially since you lied to her.” Tory wagged her finger in the camera.
I rolled my eyes again and shut them until I felt my ears pop.
“Ok, now that the spy is gone, I’m fine with basics, but maybe some spice in there too?”
“Oooh that sounds fun. I got it!” The screen went dark while Tory walked around. I assumed she put me in her purse or pocket.
There were muffled sounds then the screen flickered to life as a new person came into view.
“Oh she’s adorable and I definitely see the resemblance! Well I’m glad you trusted me Ms. Hudson. As always, I’ll show you our special client selections.”
“Of course,” Tory answered.
I just stared at the screen with no understanding of what happened.
“That’s Samantha,” Tory whispered into the phone. “She’s my go to fashion stylists when I’m near Times Square.”
“Ok, how much does that cost?” My eyebrows raised, because I never heard of people having stylists except for celebrities.
“Oh she does it for free.”
“Wait. Really?” I didn’t understand.
“Well, duh, sweetie. I’m not gonna pay the Burberry worker extra to find clothes for you. She makes a commission.”
“How much is this store??” I’d never heard of a clothing store where the workers get paid via commission.
Samantha’s voice cut the conversation short. “The special area is open Ms. Hudson. Please follow me.”
“Gladly,” Tory seemed to hum contentedly.
I watched as she passed through some doorway into a small room. The room looked brightly lit and clean from what I could see.
“This is the basics collection.”
Tory pointed the phone towards what Samantha was pointing at. There were quite a bit of clothes but less than I expected for a department store. It was like a closet rather than a store.
I felt pretty bored on the phone. The store wasn’t even that interesting. “Honestly Tory, this is weird to be a part of when I’m not physically there,” I spoke up, “can you just pick out basics that’ll look good on me? And something that kinda mirrors Chelsea. I’ll figure out my style another time.”
“Oh, ok Belle. I’ll just clean them out then we can go over what you want when I get home if that sounds good.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Samantha spoke up, “Alright, Ms. Hudson I’ll go ahead and charge that to your account. Just to make sure, this whole room will run you about 85 thousand. Is that ok?”
I didn’t hear a response from Tory, but my entire mouth flung open.
What the fish? 85 grand? For clothes?!?
I was speechless as Tory turned back to the screen.
She saw my face, “what?”
“85 grand?? For what? A car?!”
She started laughing, “No dummy! Don’t worry, Chelsea has waaaaaay more than that.”
My mouth was still open, but my brain slowly caught up. “Well I figured that if you could just casually drop 85k.”
“Well, duh,” she pulled the phone close and started to whisper, “Isabelle. The Hudson clan was here for the founding of this city. Do you really think we’re not fucking loaded? Just relax and enjoy it.”
My mouth refused to close.
“Well, I gotta go to some other stores. I’ll talk to you later!”
The video call ended and I stared at the blank screen.
The sheer amount was so absurd to me. Even with all the insane stuff going on, this was the craziest thing going. Who spends 85 grand like it’s nothing?
Apparently the Hudsons, that’s who.
***
I sat around for a while downloading new apps on my phone. Finally, I had my distracting little fidget toy back. I could mercilessly swipe between the same three apps forever and never think. I sat on the couch with my legs hanging over the end. I didn’t notice until the elevator dinged open that I was kicking my legs back and forth in genuine happiness.
With the sudden sound I felt my legs stop in mid-air. I craned my neck to try to see the elevator to see who was back. Was it Chelsea or Tory?
Clothed in a dark black ensemble with makeup to match, Chelsea walked around the corner. I felt my body relax, I wasn’t sure I could do clothes right now. After seeing how excited Tory was on the phone, I wanted to push that one off a little longer.
Chelsea didn’t walk over to me but stood next to the wall that blocked my vision of the elevator.
“Isabelle, my dear, I’d like to introduce you to Emma.”
Chelsea moved and a stunning woman turned the corner. She was tall and elegant. She had a strong sharp jawline with piercing green eyes. Her strawberry blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Two strands hung out framing her face. She looked calm, but on edge. Her zip up hoodie seemed to be her safe space as she kept her hands buried in the pockets.
“H-Hi,” I was baffled to see another person, especially one so gorgeous.
“She,” Chelsea started, “is just like you! I brought her here so you two could talk.” Chelsea looked pleased with herself and started guiding Emma towards the couch.
I sat up and pulled my legs from over the edge. Emma came over and sat next to me but stayed a slight distance away.
“Anyway,” Chelsea clapped her hands together causing Emma and I to be startled, “I’m going to head out again to give you two some privacy. Have fun!” With that, she headed to the elevator. The sound dinged and I was alone with this entirely new person.
“Uhm, hi,” I said, then looked directly towards the coffee table in front of me. “How are you?”
Emma seemed to study me before she spoke. Her words were calculated and measured. “I’m fine. Chelsea brought me here because I’m trans and she said you are too. What do you want to know?”
A little taken aback I didn’t know how to start. “Uhm, I don’t know. Uhm, was it hard for you to change into a vampire?”
“Yes, awful, but I got what I wanted so I don’t care.”
Her answer didn’t help my nervousness, but I dredged on.
“O-ok, what did you, uh, want?”
“I wanted a quick and easy transition,” she knitted her eyebrows, “what the hell did you want from this?” She gestured to herself.
“Oh, uh, I didn’t really get a choice.”
Her eyes went wide in surprise. “Oh,” she said, then looked at her hand. “How’d that happen?”
She didn’t look at me, opting to stare at her hand, but her demeanor seemed to be less strong.
I set about explaining the details of how today came to be. She didn’t once look at my face, but I could see her grimace throughout the story.
“I, uh,” she started, “I thought Chelsea was nicer than that.”
“Oh she can be, but I’m still trying to work that one out.” I looked off towards the window.
I saw Emma look up at me. She seemed to look at my face for the first time. I turned and matched her eyes. The bright green orbs looked soft but pained. I could tell she had a lot she was still dealing with. She studied my face and I did the same. After a second or so of the ritual, her mouth softened into a kind smile.
“Let’s start this over. I’m Emma. Nice to meet you.” I returned her gesture and nodded. There was something I liked about this girl. She reminded me of the Hazel I remembered from my childhood. The kind lovely girl who treated me like a normal person rather than an object of annoyance.
“Likewise,” I grinned. “I’m Isabelle.” As the words left my mouth I was shocked by the sudden hands gripping me in a hug. I overcame the initial abruptness and returned her action generously. I didn’t know why but this girl was sweet and needed this hug more than me. It was like she had a front up this whole time and just let it down.
She pulled her head away from me then rubbed her face. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or just stressed out. I gave her a once over trying to figure it out, but she spoke before I could finish.
“Whew,” she sighed, “I chose to become a vampire for revenge. I was lured into a–” She paused. She looked in pain and her words started to falter. I put my hand on hers to let her know I was her for her. She looked at it then continued. “I was lured into sex work at a young age. And,” she started to tear up, “they made me do awful things and did awful things to people I cared about. When somebody gave me a chance to become stronger, I took it.” She looked resolute but still sad. I tightened my grip on her hand.
“That’s terrible to hear, Emma,” I whispered. “You don’t have to talk about this if it hurts.”
“No. I want to. Vampirism isn’t all rosy. Luckily, I was turned by a Hudson and Chelsea took interest in me. She’s been my surrogate mother ever since.”
I nodded then she continued.
“I got turned back in the 80s. I only came to New York because my parents kicked me out after they thought I was gay. Everything was fine until I needed money and resorted to selling myself.” She took a shaky breath. “I realized through that work that I didn’t like presenting masculine and started to present more feminine. The trans girls in the field took me under their wing and I met my old lover there.” She paused again and started to cry. “Charlie.” She choked on the name. “I was 17 at the time but she was the first one to treat me like a human. Everything was fine until a guy who she slept with a lot wanted more control. He was basically her pimp,” she clarified. “He’d show up a lot. The more I was around Charlie, the more he started demanding of me. I let it happen because I wanted to be with her the most I could. AIDS was ripping through the community back then and Charlie wanted out. She’d been saving a ton for hormones and surgeries. She told me one night that she was using it to get me and her out and that we would find another way to save. I told her no, but she refused saying that I was too important to her. That argument didn’t ever find a resolution because when her pimp found out he–he,” she started to cry. I gripped her hand and let her collect herself.
“Thank you,” she looked at me sweetly, rubbing my hand back. “He–he beat her near death.” Her breath became shaky again. “I went to the hospital and they wouldn’t let me in because I wasn’t related. They could’ve easily saved her but they–but they,” she started sobbing. I pulled her into a tight hug. I couldn’t help the tears streaming down my face now. “They didn’t do anything to help her.” She spoke through the muffled sobs. “I heard one of the nurses talking about how good it was that ‘one of those heathens was wiped off the streets.’ I almost turned around to fight, but my hand was held back by a random girl. She looked sweet and told me to come with her.” Emma slowly recovered from sobbing and was more coherent.
“She walked me out of the emergency room and asked if I wanted revenge on the one who hurt Charlie. Of course, I said yes then she explained how I’d have to become a vampire.” She took a deep breath. “I spent the next week changing into one along with getting a perfect transition. Once I was strong enough, I ripped that piece of shit who hurt Charlie limb from limb.” Her hand was practically tearing into mine and her face twisted in anger.
I yelped in pain and that brought her back. She loosened her grip on my hand.
“Sorry,” she looked away.
“No,” I reached up and softly guided her face back to mine. “It’s ok. That sounds like an extremely painful thing to remember. Plus,” I grinned. “That guy deserved a more painful death. Total piece of dog soap.”
She let out a pained laugh. “Dog soap?”
“Sorry,” I scrunched my face up. “I forgot. Chelsea made it so I can’t curse.”
She started laughing. “You’re blood bonded? Guess that makes sense. Anyway,” she sighed. “Enough about my painful past.” She separated from me. I got another look at her. She still looked so young. I know vampirism stops aging but it was still weird to see.
“How about some fun stuff? Being a woman’s fun right? Even if you didn’t realize it yet.” Her face dropped a little at the last statement.
I laughed. “Yeah, there’s been a lot of struggles but at least I know the vampire community is way better than humans at accepting people.”
“Yeah,” she looked up in thought. “Kind of weird, blood suckers would be more socially progressive. More wisdom?”
“Oh definitely.” I smiled at her. She returned it. The two of us continued to talk about the intricacies of gender, something you just can’t do with cis people. The conversation was fluid and wonderful. I showed her memes and started to better understand her. Even though she was way older than me, it was like she was a younger sister. She’d been through more, but simple stuff about today’s day and age she didn’t understand and it was fun to explain to her.
We talked about how it felt to become a vampire and more. The whole thing was so wonderful, I didn’t even notice when Tory came back until she spoke.
“Oh, hey Emma! Glad Chelsea brought you over here. It was about time Belle met someone who talk to her about all this.” She was putting all the bags of clothes on the other couch while a man behind her had so many more bags.
“Oh, hi Tory!” Emma said. “Belle here has been fantastic to talk to.” She stalled on the nickname and waited for my approval.
I laughed and nodded my whole body, vibrating in happiness.
“Alright you two,” she giggled, “get over here and help me deal with all these clothes. We need to get them into Belle’s room. Then whatever she doesn’t want, I can have.” She grinned.
The two of us got up and helped get all of the clothes into my room. The rest of the day was spent trying on everything having a wonderful time with the two girls. We had wine, crappy TV, and, overall, just happiness. Eventually, Emma had to leave. I told her she was welcome over anytime. We exchanged numbers and she headed out.
Not too long later Chelsea came back. She looked happy that Tory and I were giddily watching TV.
“Didn’t have too much fun without me did you?”
“Never!” Tory dutifully responded.
“Well, ok,” she chuckled. “I love that you’ve had a wonderful day, but Isabelle.” She looked directly at me. There was still warmth, but more concern now. “It’s time for your first feed. Get up and get ready. Preferably wear dark clothes. Once you’re ready, meet me at the elevator. I’d rather you not go crazy without food.”
I gulped. I realized I’d need food, but I wasn't hungry yet. Slowly, I nodded and went to my room. There wasn’t much I could do to go against Chelsea. And, ultimately, she was right. I had to eat. I picked out some casual looking dark clothes and headed back to the living room.
The elevator was already open and Chelsea waved for me to join her. I looked back at Tory who smiled kindly at me, even if it was a sad sort of smile. She knew this would be hard for me. I knew it too.
