The Fox Hole

Chapter 19: Dumplings

– Haru –

I kept walking through Konoha, heading straight for the Hokage tower that loomed over the village like a reminder of who ran the place. The closer I got, the more attention I drew. Civilians whispered, their eyes darting from my ears to the nine tails swaying behind me. The passing ninja weren't much better—suspicious glances, muttered comments. It was getting old fast.

Just as I was wondering how much longer I'd have to deal with their staring, a random chunin decided to play hero. He jumped off a nearby roof and landed in front of me with a thud, like he was auditioning for some bad action scene.

I sighed, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. Seriously, the people in this village had the brains of a rock. "Look," I said, keeping my voice calm. "I'm not the Kyuubi. I'm just trying to get to the Hokage. So, if you could—"

"Save it!" the guy snapped, pulling out a kunai like he was about to go to war. "Demons aren't welcome here. You hear me? My wife died because of that monster, and now I'm gonna make sure it pays!"

I tilted my head, staring at him. He was shaking, eyes full of anger and grief. I could've felt bad for him if he wasn't about to make the dumbest mistake of his life. "You really don't wanna do this," I warned.

But he charged anyway, yelling like a madman. It was almost sad. 

Almost.

Before he even got close, my tails shot out, catching his wrist and wrenching the kunai from his hand. Another tail whipped around his legs, yanking them out from under him, and he hit the ground face-first with a groan. He tried to get back up, but I wrapped a tail around his waist and squeezed just enough to pin him down. 

"Are we done?" I asked, leaning over him. He mumbled something I didn't catch, so I loosened the hold. "What was that?"

"I said… fuck you, demon…" His voice was strained, defiant. I sighed again, giving him one last smack that left him bruised and limp on the ground. He wasn't getting up anytime soon.

"Nice try, moron," I muttered, stepping over his unconscious body. The crowd that had gathered watched with wide eyes, some of them looking ready to bolt. "Anyone else?" I shouted, glancing at the nearest person. 

Silence. Just nervous shuffling and quick glances away. I shook my head and kept walking, my tails swishing behind me as I pushed through the now-cleared path toward the Hokage tower.

I stepped into the Hokage tower. The kunoichi manning the front desk looked like she'd just seen a ghost, her mouth hanging open as she took in my ears and tails. "Name's Haru," I said, leaning against the counter with a grin. "I've got a meeting with Tsunade."

She blinked a few times before snapping out of it. "R-right. You're… expected," she stammered. "Up the stairs, third floor."

"Thanks," I said, giving her a nod as I made my way up. Before I reached her office, I ran into two kunoichi. And holy hell, they were gorgeous. I usually had a thing for redheads, but these two? They put any supermodel back home to shame. One had long, silky blonde hair that fell past her waist, and the other had short, vibrant pink hair that I recognized right away.

Both of them stared at me like I'd just dropped out of the sky. The blonde recovered first, her lips curving into a flirtatious smile as she sauntered over. "Well, hello there," she said flirtatiously. "I haven't seen you around before." Her eyes darted to my ears and tails. "I have a feeling I'd remember someone as handsome as you with features like those."

The pink-haired girl, Sakura Haruno, rolled her eyes and stepped forward. "Ino, can you not flirt with every single good-looking guy?"

I chuckled. Sakura looked way hotter in real life than I'd imagined. Same with Ino Yamanaka. I smirked at Sakura. "Thanks for thinking I'm handsome," I said. "You're both stunning, too."

Sakura's cheeks turned as pink as her hair, and she looked away, mumbling something I couldn't hear. Ino laughed, a sound that was both playful and sharp. "Watch out, Sakura. This guy is dangerous." She tilted her head and pressed a finger to her lips. "Your name's Haru, right? I'm pretty sure Naruko has mentioned a guy named Haru a few times recently."

I smiled, feeling a little warmth at the thought. "Yeah, I've met her and Naruto. We're friends."

"Only friends?" Ino teased, leaning in closer. "You're going to break poor Naruko's heart."

I chuckled and shook my head. "I've only talked to her a few times. Known her for a few days. We'll see how things go from there..."

Ino smacked Sakura lightly on the arm. "Oh my gosh, forehead! There's finally a hot guy in the village who's actually into women and not obsessed with training or staring at clouds all day!"

Sakura rolled her eyes but couldn't help the smile tugging at her lips. She brushed a stray hair out of her face and looked back at me. "Are you here to see the Hokage?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I've got an appointment. Not sure what it's about though."

Ino's eyes lit up with interest. "You should hang out with us afterwards. I'd love to get to know you better, Haru."

I laughed at her forwardness. She reminded me a bit of Akeno, but with more gossip and less teasing innuendo. "I own a restaurant, The Fox Hole. You two can meet me there if you want."

Ino's smile widened, and Sakura's eyes softened. "We might take you up on that," Sakura said, her voice more confident now.

As they walked down the hall, I could hear their whispers, even without trying.

"God, he's so hot. And those ears—So exotic!"

"Come in," Tsunade's voice called from behind the door after I knocked. I pushed it open and stepped inside, finally laying eyes on the Fifth Hokage herself. Damn, if I thought Ino and Sakura were something, Tsunade was on a whole different level. Tall, confident, and yeah—impossible not to notice how well-endowed she was. Almost rivaled my mother, Yasaka, in that department.

"You know, it's rude to stare," Tsunade said, a teasing edge to her voice.

I blinked, realizing I'd been caught. "Apologies, Lady Hokage."

She waved it off casually, a smirk playing on her lips. "I'm used to it. There's a reason I keep my top like this." She leaned back in her chair, resting both arms under her chest, pushing them up even more. "What do you think? Going to give me the edge in negotiations this time too?"

A small blush crept onto my cheeks, but I fought it down. "I wasn't aware this was a negotiation."

"Oh, it definitely is," she said, eyes narrowing but still playful. "I suddenly have a literal nine-tailed fox running a restaurant in the middle of my village. As Hokage, I need to know what it wants."

I shrugged, crossing my arms. "All I want is to run my restaurant in peace, make new friends and customers, and spend time with my family and girlfriends on the side."

"Girlfriends?" She snorted, an amused smile tugging at her lips.

"Two at the moment," I said, shrugging again. "Probably a couple more in the future."

Tsunade chuckled, a bit of wistfulness sneaking into her expression. "Oh, I remember those days. Back when I was young and the respected princess of the Senju clan, I had men practically throwing themselves at me every single day."

"You're still incredibly beautiful," I pointed out. "I'm sure they're still trying."

She shook her head, a faint blush dusting her cheeks. "Wow, you're going to be dangerous for the women of this village. Well, for those who aren't terrified of you because of your fox features, anyway. Eh, it'll probably be good for them. I have no idea how it happened, but I left the village for twenty years and came back to find out it's basically become the bastion of chastity in the ninja world." She sighed, and I couldn't help but chuckle at her lament.

Her expression shifted, though, growing more serious as we got down to business. "So, Haru," she said, her eyes sharp now, "how did you get the daimyo's signature for your deed?" There wasn't outright accusation in her voice, but there was doubt. She was being cautious. Naruto and Naruko must've reported back to her about it.

I nodded, not surprised by the question. "I thought you might ask." I reached into the small pocket of space I kept using my Youki, a little trick I had learned for storage, and pulled out the official-looking deed. I handed it over to her, watching as she took it and studied it closely.

Her eyes scanned the scroll, her brow furrowing slightly. "You really did get this signed by the daimyo." She glanced up at me, suspicion melting just a little. "Naruko mentioned it, but I needed to see it with my own eyes..."

"To be fair," I said, leaning back in the chair, "it wasn't me who got the scroll signed by the daimyo."

Tsunade's brow lifted. "Then who was it?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"It was an interdimensional goddess I haven't met yet," I replied. "And, uh, she might be in love with me…"

Tsunade stared at me for a second before rubbing her forehead. "Yokai are real, other dimensions are suddenly real, and now gods are real too? I need a fucking drink…"

I had her covered there. Reaching into my pocket space, I pulled out a bottle of kappa sake and placed it on her desk. Her eyes lit up like a kid on their birthday. "Now that's what I'm fucking talking about! Shizune keeps throwing out all my bottles no matter where I hide them…"

I popped the top and poured a drink for both of us. Tsunade took hers eagerly, knocking it back without hesitation. "Damn, that's the good stuff," she said, her eyes closing for a moment. 

"It's made by actual kappas," I said, pouring her another. "No one can make sake like they can."

Tsunade shook her head, a smile tugging at her lips as she raised her cup for another. "This village gets weirder every day," she muttered.

"So, what's your world like?" she asked, her voice more relaxed as she sipped. 

I shrugged. "Most of it's mundane. But supernatural monsters hide in the shadows. Most of them ignore regular people, though."

"That sounds weird," Tsunade said, taking another drink. "Then again, ninjas are supposed to live in the shadows too. Except this latest generation didn't get the memo. No matter what I do, I can't convince Naruto to wear anything but that goddamn orange. And his sister? Bright red, just like Kushina used to wear! Neither of those twins knows the meaning of stealth." She knocked back her drink, and I realized she was already on her sixth cup. I probably should've mentioned that kappa sake was about ten times stronger than regular stuff. Her tolerance was impressive.

She looked at me, eyes a bit hazy but focused. "I'm going to be straight with you, Haru," she said, her words starting to slur just a bit. I decided it was time to slow down with her refills.

Tsunade set her cup down with a heavy sigh. "The Leaf isn't in a good place right now. Economically, I mean. Orochimaru, that piece of shit ex-teammate of mine, wrecked the place two years ago. Killed a lot of good people, wiped out most of our market district. We need every mission we can get." Her eyes sharpened slightly. "I need to know if these other dimensions your restaurant connects to might be interested in our services."

I leaned forward, nodding. "I think they would be. Ninjas are valuable assets." I reached for the sake bottle to pour another cup for myself and realized it was empty. Tsunade's cheeks were flushed, and before I could say anything, she pointed at me with a determined look. "Another bottle. Now."

I wasn't about to argue with a drunk woman who could punch a mountain into rubble. I reached into my pocket space, pulled out another bottle, and popped it open. Before I could pour her a drink, she snatched it and started chugging straight from the bottle. 

Yeah, this was why Shizune kept hiding her booze.

Tsunade let out a satisfied noise and slammed the empty bottle onto the desk so hard it cracked the wood. Her eyes were glassy, and she was definitely slurring now. I'd accidentally gotten the Hokage drunk. 

"Oops," I muttered.

"You'll actually hire us!?" she said, eyes wide and a bit wobbly. "That's really good! When do we work out the details?" she asked, almost leaning too far forward.

"Um… you can sort out the details with my mother, Yasaka. The Yokai Queen. Just stop by my restaurant anytime."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed playfully. "Your mother is a queen? That makes you a prince! Did you know I'm technically a princess? Princesses and princes are supposed to get married, you know?"

I hesitated, raising an eyebrow. "Is that so…"

Tsunade sighed, her eyes going distant. "Never got to marry a prince. There weren't any left by the time I came around."

"Uh, okay…"

She blinked, then her eyes locked on mine, suddenly serious. "You're handsome, and you said I was beautiful earlier. Since we're going to have an alliance, we should seal it the way my grandparents did."

I had a feeling where this was going. She was totally plastered, but my mischievous side kicked in. I leaned in close, smirking as I reached out and gently cupped her face. "Oh? And how did your grandparents seal it?"

"Just like this!" she declared, grabbing my face and kissing me. Her lips were warm and tasted like alcohol. We made out for a good thirty seconds before she finally pulled back, giggling and looking smug.

"Hehehe, I still got it," she said when she noticed my obvious blush.

…

I headed back to my restaurant after Tsunade passed out on her desk. Honestly, I wasn't sure what else to do, so I made sure her head was turned to the side and left quietly. Yeah, leaving the Hokage drunk and unconscious on her desk probably wasn't the smartest move, but hey, not my problem.

When I got back to The Fox Hole, I saw Naruko, Sakura, and Ino sitting at the counter. Enri was behind it, serving them hot cups of coffee. She was still learning how to cook, and while it would be months before she could make anything I'd deem passable, drinks weren't too hard. If stoner teenagers could make a decent cup of coffee, so could a hardworking village girl like Enri.

Enri smiled at me as I walked in. The three kunoichi turned around at the same time.

"Welcome back, Haru!" Naruko said brightly. "How did your meeting with the Hokage go?"

I scratched my cheek awkwardly. "I think it went pretty well," I said. "I told her we'd be open to working with the Leaf Village, we shared a couple cups of sake, we… made out a bit, and then I left."

Naruko nodded, smiling, until my words finally sank in. Sakura and Ino both choked on their drinks.

"You did what?" Sakura asked, eyes wide.

"I need details!" Ino practically yelled, leaning forward with a grin.

Naruko's smile fell, and she looked like she was about to combust. Her red hair stood up as a dense chakra surrounded her.

Enri muttered something about more love rivals as I made my way behind the counter to wash my hands. I gave them the short version: Tsunade underestimated the strength of the kappa sake, got plastered, confessed she was a princess who wanted to marry a prince, and then we made out.

The reactions were priceless. Sakura fell off her stool, rolling on the floor with laughter. "Oh my god, I am never letting her live this down! This is gold!"

"This is the best gossip I've ever heard," Ino said, eyes wide with excitement. "Haru, I haven't even known you for an hour, and you're already one of my favorite people."

"That's nice," I said, turning to Naruko.

"How dare that old hag move in on the first guy I like!" Naruko yelled, her red hair bristling with chakra.

"Hey! Just because you met the hot fox guy first doesn't mean you get to claim him!" Ino shot back. "Do you know how few good guys there are in this village? Our options are bug boy, dog boy, snack boy, cloud boy, or whisker boy! And emo boy ran off to join the creepy snake dude. They probably spend all day buggering each other."

Sakura sat up from the floor, glaring at Ino. "Don't talk about Sasuke like that! He'll come back one day!"

Ino scoffed. "Why waste your life waiting for him when there's a sexy chef standing right here?" She wrapped her arm around Sakura's shoulders and gave me a smirk. "What do you say, Haru? Interested in two beautiful kunoichi? I'll even tell you something special about Sakura. We've been to the hot springs together a lot, and I can confirm the carpets match the drapes."

"Oh my god, Ino! Why would you tell him that?" Sakura shouted, her face turning bright red.

"Get lost, sluts!" Naruko had enough and launched herself at Sakura and Ino.

Enri yelped next to me as the three kunoichi rolled around on the floor, pulling hair and shouting insults.

The door swung open, and Naruto walked in with Shikamaru. "Hey, Haru! I wanted you to meet one of my good friends, and…" Naruto stopped mid-sentence when he saw the chaos on the floor.

"Back off, you bitches!"

"Let go of my hair, Naruko!"

"Don't be greedy! Sharing is caring!"

"Nope," Naruto said, shaking his head. "I'm not getting involved in that." He and Shikamaru stepped around the fighting trio and sat at the bar.

"What a drag," Shikamaru muttered. "A new pretty boy moves in, and the girls are already tearing each other apart."

"Sorry about that," I said sincerely. I was following Naruto's lead and not getting involved either…

Shikamaru waved it off. "Don't worry about it." He looked at Enri. "Mind if I order some dumplings?"

XXX

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