The Gate of Shadows

Being kissed by another man anywhere, even if it wasn’t reality, was repulsive. His touch alone made me goosebumps, unlike the real Fenris, but angering him wouldn’t be the best way to get information.

Luckily, this man appeared to enjoy my rejection like a weird fetish. However, seeing Fenris and feeling this way towards him was unsettling.

“Can you stop looking like him? It makes me uneasy.” I mumbled, trying to control my hostility.

His touch was utterly different, even if he looked like the man I had admired all these years.

“I can shift into anything you would like while we are in here. Just tell me what will please you. I’ll change to it.” Alijah whispered, grabbing me by my hips.

I tried to dodge his unwanted affection by leaning back into the wall.

“I’d rather see your real self,” I mumbled, shivering because of his touch.

If I found out who he was, I may figure out how to stop him. So many questions were bombarding my mind, which didn’t help my chaotic mind keep up.

“Very well.” He complied, letting me go.

A red light consumed him, much like the blurry form from before. Yet when it died down, much to my surprise, he didn’t look like the monster I pictured him to be. Instead, it revealed a Lycan like Fenris, who had pitch-black hair and eyes that radiated red, unlike the amber color on these wolves.

His ears were there, though, and so was his fluffy tail. His face was probably one of the most handsome men I had ever seen, rivaling my silver wolf.

“Hey... if you touch me like that. I’ll attack you,” Alijah warned me, flustered by my gaze.

I unconsciously grabbed his tail with one hand, holding my dress together. His cheeks were rosy, much like mine.

“Sorry...” I uttered, releasing his tail.

Before I knew it, I was on the floor, pinned by the black wolf. I usually couldn’t keep up with a Lycan’s speed, but my vision never registered when he moved.

“Never apologize for touching me,” he whispered, leaning into my nape before licking it, triggering me to gasp.

It wasn’t what I expected at all. Nor what I wanted, but with my body exposed and magicless, I could do little to defend myself against him.

“Don’t!” I trembled, fearing what he was about to do.

“This is what I meant. Don’t worry, and I’d never hurt or hold you without you wishing it.” Alijah purred into my ear, pulling slightly away from me.

I could barely sit up when he grabbed me by my chin, forcing me to meet my eyes with his. This wolf was one of the most beautiful Lycan I had ever seen. He could have any woman he pleased as his beloved.

Why... are you interested in me? I’m just a damned girl. There isn’t a single thing about me to care for!

I couldn’t understand how he found this battered body appealing like Fenris.

“Alijah... Why me?” I tried to keep myself calm; however, my body betrayed me.

Noticing my quivers, Alijah pulled me onto him when he sat down, leaving me to land in between his legs.

“Ah... hearing you say my name. It makes me happier than you ever could imagine.” He chuckled, holding me tenderly.

Even though I wanted to escape him, his strength was overwhelming. All I could do was give up, leaving him to enjoy himself while I grabbed onto his tail to cover my battered body from his gaze.

“I want you because you’re my...” Alijah trailed off, shifting his glance towards the side. “You were the love that was denied to me long ago.”

Huh?

“What do you mean?” I questioned, tilting my head.

His demeanor seemed to change when my cover wrapped around me defensively.

“I don’t know if I should tell you, my love. I’d hate for you to get hurt.” He whispered, leaning back before shifting his eyes towards the side.

“I won’t understand anything if you don’t tell me,” I mumbled, grabbing his fur vest.

I tried to put some space between us, to no avail.

“Fine... I’ll tell you. Perhaps it’ll change the way you’re looking at me.” Alijah finally gave in, catching my attention once again.

“Maybe...” I tried to coax him into telling me more.

He let go of my head, allowing me to glance at him. His expression shifted into one of pure melancholy.

What… made you look like that? No! Don’t be swayed by him!

All I could do was harden my heart, and I had to see him as a threat to the one I loved.

That can never change.

“Alright then... You and I were destined long ago before you were taken from me forcefully.” He started.

Destined? When?

I didn’t remember this man, nor did I care to.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mumbled, glancing away from him.

My action caused him to sigh.

“And you won’t. Sadly, those memories are long lost, but I’ll make new ones with you while we create this world anew.” Alijah smiled, grabbing my chin again so I would look at him.

“Create?” I echoed Alijah’s words.

You can’t possibly mean... No...

It took everything in me not to look at him scornfully. After all, he was the one who killed Fenris in my dreams, or at least I thought he was. However, it didn’t matter when he had already threatened to kill my wolf.

If I keep repeating that in my head. Perhaps then your words won’t sway me.

Shivers went down my spine when Alijah lovingly caressed my cheek.

“This world’s unsavable, so let’s rest it and make anew.” His eyes flickered before he flashed his fangs.

Reset the world...

“You make it sound like you’re talking about a past life,” I whispered, triggering him slowly to nod.

“I am. You’re my beloved’s soul, reborn. It’s infuriating how you always must play the martyr. You’re always the only one to suffer but don’t worry. I’ll change that this time.” He declared, leaving me unable to follow.

Seeing him as anything but a madman ranting about impossible things was hard. Yet I was an impossible factor that should’ve never happened.

An anomaly in this world.

“I don’t know any of this,” I whispered coldly.

Alijah shrugged, “You probably won’t believe me, but in your first life. You were born a moon elf, a healer who worked for others. When I first met you, I met you as an ambassador for the Lycans back when war was brewing.” He sighed, shaking his head.

Impossible, war? There hasn’t been a one in…

What he said next, though…

“They chose me to be the advocate because I was born under a red moon and chosen to bring prosperity to the Lycans. It all turned out to be an awful joke.” Alijah huffed.

Red moon… It can’t be… Fenris is the first! But what if you weren’t the first blood moon Lycan?

“Even though I was the ‘chosen one,’ blessed by the moon, I felt nothing more than a piece of furniture. It dictated my life, including who I lay with at night’s end.” The wolf echoed some of Fenris’s feelings, though his hostility grew as he recounted it.

Alijah grabbed my cheek, triggering me to reach for it.

“However, that trip changed my life. At first, I thought it would be just another boring task given to me by the Lycan elders, but then I met you, and it was love at first sight. Well, for me, at least.” He smiled before chuckling, caressing my cheek tenderly once again.

Even his tail wagged slightly, making it hard to cover my body. The monster that had killed the one I loved in my dream seemed nothing more than a lost child when he spoke with me.

Are you really a beast? Or am I missing something?

“You couldn’t stand me at first. Hah... You were the first woman to reject me, and that’s when I knew I had to have you. You treated me like a normal person, with no royalty or special treatment.” He paused for a moment, smiling.

“Hah... You even threw me down a flight of stairs when I tried to kiss you for the first time.” Alijah laughed tenderly.

Ah… That’s why my blatant rejection goes right through you.

“I eventually won your heart. When you finally let me in, oh... I can’t count the times I made love to you. I loved you with my entire being, but that made me a complacent fool.” He huffed, gazing towards the side.

“I didn’t realize my love was dangerous to you.” He scoffed, wincing, and clenched his hands into fists.

“Why?” I mumbled, wanting to know more about his life, which echoed similarities to the one of my beloved wolf.

Although it could’ve been lies, his presentation made it clear that this was all real to him.

“The other Lycans saw my attraction to you as a threat. You see, wolves and elves can’t breed. No matter how many times I made love to you, no fruit would come out of it. Of course, I didn’t care about that.” He bit his lip, shaking his head. “All I wanted was the little piece of life that brought me joy.”

You and I aren’t different, are we?

“I wanted something my heart picked instead of being forced upon me. Why couldn’t they let me have that, at least? I should’ve married any stupid girl as long as I had you.” Alijah paused again, recollecting his thoughts.

It was almost disheartening to see him like that.

“But I was young and dumb, and I didn’t realize that my love would be the end of you. So, I defied orders and ran away from all my duties. I thought I hid you from it, but...” He trailed off, glancing off to the side, holding me closer.

“I thought I was invincible, but I never thought they would go after you. You see, the day that filled my heart with hate, I left you... for maybe an hour at most. I had gone to catch us a meal, leaving you to tend to the child who fell off a cliff.” Alijah recounted.

Even though it felt surreal, his story and sadness resonated with me.

The pain... I know it all too well.

“When I came back to our home, the first thing that hit me was the scent of blood. But that was usual in your clinic, so I thought maybe the kid hurt himself more or something else came in.” He shrugged, gripping me tighter.

“It never actually hit me; something happened to you. But... the moment I...” He trailed off, shifting one of his hands into my short hair. “I saw you on the floor in a pool of your blood. Your abdomen was sliced open. They left you alone to bleed out on the floor to show me what happens when I defy orders.” He breathed, holding me close as a faint red aura came from his body.

“You were helpless against them. Even now, when I think about it, all I feel is rage,” he growled.

Ah… Of course, I’d die like that in another life. If anything, your stories have a wicked irony to them.

“Why did that happen? Weren’t you in the land of elves?” I asked, trying to focus.

My words caused him to bite his lip as one of his hands trailed down one scar on my back. Even though I wanted to run away from him, I tried to stay strong. He was sharing, and that was something I wanted to keep coming.

All while looking for the opportunity that you’ll slip.

“Your people betrayed you. It’s ironic seeing how your body is now.” Alijah seemed almost to read my mind.

“You’re always the sacrifice. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you this time, either. I’m still trapped in this timeless prison, but soon... I’ll hold you once again. This time, I’ll keep you safe.” He assured me.

His words, though, brought me little comfort.

The woman you speak about is a stranger to me.

“What was her name?” I asked, thinking it would be easier to relate if she had a name.

“Her name was Lilith. It’s the same as yours now, an elven name, made popular by the witch who tried to destroy the world, or so they tell me. I don’t know much about what’s happening in your world now,” Alijah answered, much to my surprise.

Another Lilith... Why... How... Nothing makes sense.

“Oh... How do you know about the other human, Lilith, then?” I tried to understand how he could know about a witch from his prison.

“Just the one who’ll free me from this state I find myself in.” He answered vaguely again.

I narrowed my eyes, noticing his loose lips becoming less so. “I see, so, how many times have I been reborn?”

“Only once. I felt you come into this world, even from this prison, giving me a reason to live again.” Alijah replied, caressing my back and pulling me closer to his chest.

His tail was the only thing that separated me from the big bad wolf.

This isn’t good. You’re getting drunk with my presence as much as I want you to slip! I don’t want you any closer!

Alijah leaned closer as I touched his chest to keep a barrier between us.

A soft frown rose on his lips, “Your essence differs from what I’m used to. Well, not that it matters.”

His words were something I couldn’t keep up with, focusing on other matters I wanted to know more about.

“Why did they trap you in this prison?” I questioned.

“Ah... Back then, I was a kid when you died. Perhaps I was twenty at most? The moon hadn’t blessed me with full power yet. No... that happened a few years later.” He paused as his body visibly trembled.

Clearing his throat, he sighed soon after. “To answer your question, something happened when I finally got the power. You see, my heart was full of hate and still is.”

A soft, broken smile rose on his lips, “There’s much I can tell you, but it warped the moon’s power, making me what I am today.”

Hey, Alijah, why does it feel like I’m looking in a mirror when I see you? If you had never lost the one you loved, perhaps you would’ve had a happier life.

“A monster...” I mumbled as he picked up one of my hands, pressing it against his lips.

“Yes... We both are abominations. Lilith, vessel of the soul cairn.” He breathed.

Shaking my head, “You keep saying that. What is it?” I pressed onward.

“That’s something you’ll have to figure out, my love. Even I don’t fully understand it. It was more known in my time than in your present time, but it wasn’t the focus of my world.” Alijah shrugged.

His words weren’t full of deception but left me back in square one.

Why are you being truthful yet avoiding anything that may give me too much information about your plans?

Trying to shake away personal feelings, I continued my query. “You said... red moon warped you?”

I need more. Fenris would soon be bathed in the celestial bodies’ light.

“I warped it. The same thing won’t happen to your wolf.” Alijah corrected blatantly before continuing. “The moon responded to my hateful heart and gave me the power I needed for revenge. My beloved, with you by my side, I’ll eliminate all that caused our first love to die.” He appeared to go back to his murderous intentions.

For a moment, I had forgotten he wanted everything dead.

This wolf is broken, much like me.

“Those people died long ago,” I whispered.

Your monsters are long gone while mine are still around. You appear reasonable to a point, perhaps. I can use the woman you knew to my advantage.

“Yet their cruelty still exists. Just look at what they did to you. All the races are just barely holding themselves together. This peace is a well-built lie.” Alijah refuted.

“This peace has lasted for many years! Ever since Lilith opened the gate, the races gathered and worked for it!” I assured him.

However, all it did was trigger him to shrug.

“Since Lilith? Hah... They never told me it had been six thousand years since they banished me into this prison from where you are. Interesting...” He mumbled, getting back to what he was going to say.

“How long have they been at peace? A thousand? Maybe less, right? Don’t kid yourself, love. This world is about to break again; look at your coven; they intend to start a revolution.” He finally slipped.

I caught onto something that appeared out of place.

Are the witches helping you the same ones who tried to destroy Silverant? Impossible... Why would a witch help a Lycan? One that’s the exact thing they want to prevent. No... that makes little sense.

I shook my head before biting my thumb’s nail.

You must have been referring to my memories. Right?

“How do you know about the revolution they’re trying to make?” I pressed him, only to receive a smirk as a response.

He wasn’t stupid, even though he came from a different time. Everything he had let go of had a purpose for me.

“Ah... I heard it from a little birdy.” Alijah answered.

Crap, I must shift gears again.

“There are good people in this world.” I moved away from that.

He didn’t want to answer my question, but his reaction was enough.

“That wolf? Or the she-wolf? Don’t you know that they’ll all betray you when it’s convenient for them? Love, don’t kid yourself. Do you know how we were found?” Alijah countered with his question.

“Because the elves betrayed her, too?” I mumbled, triggering him to sigh.

“Yes, that... happened, but that was after the Lycans discovered our location. It wasn’t the only thing that led to your death. No, my mistake came when I wrote to a friend. He was closer than a brother. So, I told him to visit us and attend our wedding.” He paused, shaking his head.

“A mistake. He was a silver-blood Lycan, much like your Fenris, and he was the one who sold me out to my people.” Alijah answered, growling soon after. “Through him, they found out about you. It's just another reason to eliminate his bloodline, as thanks once I’m out of here.”

This black wolf had not threatened Fenris but Ben, who had helped me through so much. Though, his path of destruction wouldn’t end with their deaths. No, from how he spoke, everyone else would go, too.

“They aren’t guilty!” I tried to defend them, only for the black wolf to scoff.

“Love... everyone’s guilty of something. You know that.” He huffed.

I couldn’t deny him that fact since I was guilty of horrors, and so was he. We both had ended more lives than we could count.

Lovers, mothers, fathers, and children. We took them all.

“I...” I tried to fight him on it but couldn’t.

Everyone’s guilty of something, but they don’t deserve death. But how can I explain it to your closed heart?

Before I could say anything in return, my body radiated little orbs of white light before turning transparent.

“Ah... It seems our time is over,” Alijah whispered, trailing his thumb on my cheek.

He wanted more time, but it seemed it wouldn’t happen.

“Wait, I...” I didn’t want to go yet.

I wanted to know more, but instead of letting me speak, Alijah pulled me into an unsuspected kiss that shocked me. Separating from me only for a moment, he smiled ever so gently.

“I’ll... make sure you learn to love me again. It’s all I ever wanted,” he promised, pressing his lips with mine again.

My body disappeared from his embrace soon after.