The Gate of Shadows

Amelia had me in her grip, and I wasn’t backing down.

“Let her go,” Fenris growled, unable to do much.

He was still recovering from our night together and saving me, which overwhelmed the usual energetic wolf. Ben came over to us to stop this. However, what she said resonated with me.

So, what if I am crazy?!

Shade may have had the right idea before.

“If I do, then Fenris will keep me stable as he did before. Isn’t that why you made me his charge or why he made me utterly addicted to him? To the point, I can’t live without him. I mean, Shade’s right. He’s the only reason I came here in the first place.” I smirked, having had enough.

Upon hearing my words, everyone in the room was silent, though it wasn’t long before Amelia’s face twisted in pure revulsion.

Oh, you didn’t know?! How cute…

However, she wasn’t the only one, and Ben appeared stunned, too. I glanced over to Fenris, whose eyes were wide open and jaw dropped, caught completely off guard by what I said. I would’ve been worried if his cheeks were the shade of red, matching a tomato. The old Lilith would have never dared to face down Amelia, but that girl wasn’t strong enough to fight for what she wanted.

She was useless, allowing anyone to do as they pleased with her. No, more… I’m done.

A part of me that had to die if I wanted to live in this world with Fenris.

No more guilt, no more pain. I’ll reach for what was mine and claim it. The world owes me as much.

“What?!” Amelia rasped.

Her tone triggered Ben to grab her shoulder, snapping out of his surprise. There was a more pressing matter to the older brother than who his little brother bedded. Shade had climbed onto my shoulder, staring at an unsuspecting Amelia, waiting for her to make any part of me ache to cut her where she stood.

The poor wolf’s eyes were glued on me, making her blissfully unaware of the danger that gawked at her.

One move… and… Shade’s voice became bloodthirsty.

Don’t.

“Let Lilith go.” Ben echoed Fenris’s words to his sister.

He hoped to reach her before she did something she would regret.

Don’t worry, Lily, I won’t kill her, but she doesn’t need an arm or leg to live. Shade snickered, ready to launch at the instance the white wolf tried to hurt me.

Don’t, Shade. She’s still Fenris’s sister.

Why care about that when she has hurt you so many times?! She huffed.

I’m not a monster, Shade. It’s not what I want to be, even if they see me as one.

However, that didn’t mean I’d stay silent anymore.

“Fenris... is mine to have.” I boldly declared.

There was no going back. My words made Amelia glare at me as growls left her lips. To her, all the alarm bells were ringing. Luckily, she wasn’t stupid enough to harm me. However, yelling and insulting me was another ball game.

“Lily...” Fenris mumbled my name, dumbfounded by me.

I had broken the one thing he had asked me not to do, and I didn’t care that my sudden words had rocked his world in more ways than one, but there was no stopping me anymore.

“You are crazy if you think I’ll let you have my little brother! I knew it was a mistake to let them make you his charge, let alone live with him! You took advantage of his kindness!” she growled.

I probably would’ve agreed if I had never heard the words come from his mouth, but this wasn’t the case. He loved me so much that he healed me in more ways than I could count.

“Is that what it was? Do you even know how many times we’ve fucked? Heck, this festival has been the only reason we went through a drought. Yet he still kissed me every time he has seen me.” I smirked, feeling confident for once in my life.

If I have your love, I can do anything and everything.

“You are nothing more than a perversion!” She snapped, letting me go as I fell back onto the sofa behind me.

All I could do was laugh at her as Ben held her back. My wolf appeared to be short on words, though. When he left me, I was quietly holding everything in. The Lilith in front of him was one he could barely recognize, someone who wasn’t all bark.

Everything I had experienced to this point made me like this. Perhaps the whispers helped, too. It felt like it was ages since this all began. Everything was changing, and I was different because of it.

It took Fenris to leave my side to realize what I was meant to be.

Tobias may be correct, but it doesn’t mean I must play it to his tune, either.

“You’ve just noticed that? I’ve always been crazy! I just decided to take what I wanted for once! It’s more fun than letting you people dictate what I can and can’t have! Fuck, don’t you get tired of trying to micro-manage everything?” I chided.

Shade sat on my lap, snickering and enjoying the chaos.

“You’re an abomination! You should’ve been thrown into a dungeon! One where we would never allow the light to shine on you!” Amelia continued to assault me with insults.

I continued to shrug them off. Her words couldn’t harm me any longer.

“If that would’ve happened, then you mortals would’ve been doomed. You’re lucky Lily has something to live for. Our wolf is the reason you’re all alive.” Shade stepped in, only to receive the same treatment.

“And you should’ve been destroyed!” Amelia snarled.

Shade hissed in return, yet I felt no anger or hatred towards her. Someone poisoned this poor wolf against me, and I could tell it came from the elders themselves. From the way Evan gazed at me, I knew he hated what I was.

None of them knew me to feel some way about me, but they identified what I was and didn’t need anything else to judge. I was lucky Ben had a powerful mind to guide Fenris through the madness from the fall, though part of me felt back for this white wolf who didn’t have a single thought as her own.

Perhaps we could’ve been different if her heart wasn’t filled with poison.

If only…

I noticed when someone more interesting came into the scene, thanks to Shades’s hearing.

“Hey… Ryker, aren’t I right?” I glanced towards the opening door.

He had been there for a while. However, he probably heard the yelling since he didn’t have super hearing.

“So, you sensed me and lost what was left of your mind. How wonderful, just what we needed.” He sighed, entering the room.

I smirked at his blank expression.

That elf always looks too like someone died. Shade huffed.

For once, I didn’t care about what others thought of me.

Make yourself heard, Tobias’s words echoed.

So be it. I’ll yell until everyone hears me! If it means saving Fenris and his world, I’ll do anything. Even if I’m wicked, even if I’m hated and feared, I will be heard.

Fate never meant for me to be the quiet girl I desired.

No, I am much more.

“Perhaps I did lose my mind. Either way, I have plenty of questions for you.” I grabbed Shade, who snickered.

“It seems your power has done a number on you. What are you going to do with you, child?” Ryker shrugged, fixing his golden hair.

I giggled, unable to hold myself. If it were my power, and perhaps it was, everything would be more straightforward. However, my sanity wavering would all depend on what and how they would respond to what I said next.

I hope I am delusional. It’s the best-case scenario. Otherwise… our future is… bleak.

“That was so funny!” I started erasing my smile as soon as it appeared. “I really hope I am crazy and out of my mind, Ryker. Otherwise, you’ll regret not listening to me when I said they had wolfsbane.”

“What?” he breathed, narrowing his eyes as the elder wolves around us remained quiet.

This alerted me that they all knew and still conducted the festival.

Prideful idiots… You almost cost Fenris his life! I should… No…

Yes, let’s end them! Shade shined in with her choice.

No, being a moron shouldn’t equal death.

I vote for it! She purred as I trailed my fingertips down her fur.

A soft sigh left my lips before snickering like someone had said a joke. “Oh, enough, don’t act cute! You’re no fool, Ryker.” I smirked, shifting my eyes to Amelia, who gazed around the room, lost, like Ben did.

The younger wolves knew nothing.

Keep the young dumb and easy-to-control fools.

“Let’s cut the charade. You know they have a variant of something ancient and made new, yet you locked the Lycans up in barriers, hoping for the best. Didn’t you all learn anything from the fall?” I huffed, feeling shivers run down my spine.

“Child, it—” the elf started, only for me to raise my hand and stop him.

My body wouldn’t last forever; I still was seeing blurry.

“Look, I don’t really care if you want to kill everyone with your decisions. Just leave Fenris out of them, okay?” I huffed, shifting my eyes back onto the elf.

“Lilith, it wasn’t my decision to lock up the wolves; it was—” He defended himself as that was the first time I had heard him use my name.

“No, no, don’t do that. It’s your say in the end. As the head of Cerberus until Fenris is of age, don’t pass the blame onto others for your incompetence, especially after you assured me it was nothing related to the plant.” I didn’t let him escape the burden.

With all the power, you also hold the blame.

“I thought elves were smarter than to let these old wolves who can’t do anything right pressure you. I mean, weren’t they around for the fall? What the heck did they do to stop it? I’m pretty sure it was a teenage wolf who saved everyone.” I snapped, shifting my eyes at Evan, whose eyes twitched; however, he stayed quiet.

With elven emissaries there, it wasn’t as easy to barrage me with insults.

“With all the secrets and bull shit they say, everything will end as a mess either way. You should know better, no?” I huffed.

“Secrets?” He prodded, triggering me to smirk.

“Well, they aren’t alone in that. You probably know about it, too. For example, the thing we know as the nether realm is called the soul ca—”

Ryker’s eyes widened, quickly cutting me off.

“Enough! Don’t speak of that here where prying ears can hear!” He quipped quicker than I thought.

“Ah… isn’t this just the rambling of a crazed girl?” I snickered, realizing only the council and high-ranking members knew about it since this elf was aware.

If it were up to them, they would leave others in oblivion. Even most of the Lycan elders there were confused about what I said—well, all but Evan, who once again stayed quieter than a corpse. From Ryker’s quick reaction, Tobias was right.

Perhaps it’s the reason behind all the wars. Alijah is right; this world is fragile. Will I be able to prove you wrong? Well, not with these fools…

“Oh? Then maybe I should turn my question towards the feisty little silent grandpa over there.” I turned my gaze towards Evan, who flared up at what I called him.

“What did you call me?!” he shouted, triggering me to wince.

There was no need to be so loud. Though these people were never my friends, nor did I care for them to be.

“Grandpa, isn’t that what you are? Especially if I end up making Fenris mine.” I tilted my head before smirking at him.

Shade snickered, amused by his reaction.

Good, rail them up. They won’t realize when they slip. She encouraged, wagging her tail.

“You insolent child! I demand respect!” Evan stepped towards me, almost as if he wanted to intimidate me.

A stupid gesture.

He was but a mere pup compared to my real enemy. No, Alijah was more than any of these fools, and to stop him, I would have to use every ounce of my wit.

Delay… is it even possible? No… I had to stop him.

“I don’t care how you see me. What I care about is if you know about the red-eye Lycan named Alijah and why the fuck is he stuck in a time prison?” I questioned, triggering a change in his face that I could’ve never expected.

From anger, all of his colors drained as his pupils dilated upon hearing that name, and that alone was an answer, but what he said next placed the nail in the coffin.

“How do you know of him?!” he questioned, stepping back.

He wasn’t the only one with that reaction. The other elders present always had their colors drained, which triggered me to burst out laughing.

Ah… Fuck! I’m not insane! This is… Unbelievable.

These people weren’t worthy of being alive, let alone lead anyone.

“Lilith, what are you talking about?” Fenris asked, just as lost as his siblings were.

It seemed they also kept him in the dark, like most others, probably until he took the Lycan chair that had been empty all these years.

Hey, perhaps a little crazy’s fine.

However, leaving him in the dark was something I wouldn’t allow any longer, especially since I knew it was true. I had seen Alijah with my own eyes.

“That legend of the red-eye Lycan that went mad. The one you think is a children’s myth. It’s a fucking real psychopath that’ll come back to this world in less than a year! We’re so dead!” I cackled.

“What?! That’s impossible!” Evan tried to shut me down.

I couldn’t care less what he wanted anymore.

“Oh... yet it’s going to happen under your fucking leadership! While I’m being hunted by fucking dead gods! Maybe I deserve a bit of happiness, don’t you think?!” I snickered, peeking towards Fenris, who was overwhelmed by the entire event.

He reminded me of when I first encountered the information myself, but slowly, I was solving the puzzle. It all pointed towards the council, hiding more than they should’ve. The leaders of the races had used the same incantation of the fall to erase the soul cairn from everyone’s mind.

It probably happened after Lilith opened the gate for the first time while the Lycans tried to hide their dirty past.

“I think so!” Shade reassured me.

I scuffled her head. Even though I was putting on a strong front, my body felt like it was going to crumble if anyone touched me again. However, I couldn’t back down. All these liars deserved nothing more than to be brought into the truth.

Amelia, Ben and every Lycan who wasn’t an elder seemed extremely perplexed by everything.

“Ah... It seems I’m not as insane as you think, Ryker! Maybe fewer voices in my head might make me less spontaneous, but I think I’ve made my point.” I giggled, gazing around the room as none knew how to respond to me anymore.

This was perfect. I only had one warning left for them.

“Oh! I also want a meeting with the council and if you won’t give it to me. I might hunt down every one of them. Your choice.” I shrugged as Ryker sighed in response to my request.

There was no denying me any longer, though. This confirmed my earlier assessment of the entire situation we found ourselves in, and if I followed the whispers along in their quest for bloodshed, they seemed to be quieter.

“Fine... I’ll get you a meeting. Just don’t say anymore. You might start a riot if you continue.” The elf released another sigh from his tired lips.

He wasn’t as surprised as the others; he probably always expected this day to come.

“Oh, I think this meeting is long overdue. Oh! And remember, Fenris’s mine to have.” I declared, yanking an unsuspecting wolf into a kiss.

His warm lips on me were reassuring after everything I had said, even if it did push me over the edge.

“You little—” Amelia almost launched at me.

Shade shifted forms, stopping her in her tracks as my little vicious kitty stood firmly between her and us.

“I want to see you try, little wolf,” she warned.

Fenris tugged away from me, slightly licking his lips, mystified by everything I had just done.

“I can’t keep up. You just... threw every plan I made into oblivion,” he whispered, unable to resist kissing me again.

His bold action upset his sister even more as Ben cleared his throat, glancing away from us. Even though the older brother didn’t know for sure, he had always suspected Fenris’s feelings for me. While mine, well, I never hid them.

I couldn’t keep myself off my beloved wolf, especially after hearing that he loved me the previous night. Even though I didn’t know his plans, I didn’t regret making them crash and burn. He was the only one keeping me in the light.

Separating for air, Fenris wiped my lip with his thumb, chuckling. There were a million things I wanted to say to him, but all I could say was...

“Fuck the plans. I can’t hold myself back anymore. Especially after what you told me last night.” I murmured, getting closer to Fenris, hoping he was the only one who could hear me.

The others discussed their course of action for returning to Silverant while other arguments broke out. However, instead of saying that sentence to me once again, he tilted his head.

“I told you something?” Fenris mumbled.

It caused my heart to sink as a slight pout left me.

Ah, well... at least I know.

Even when he was out of control, I was in a part of his heart. Reaching to his ear, I tugged on it, triggering him to grip my hand and gently nibble on it.

“It’s fine. I can wait until you tell me again.” I simpered, enjoying his affection.

Everything became blurry again.

Wait… were there always two Fenris?

Unable to keep up anymore, I fell onto his chest again as his arms wrapped around me.

“Ah... You were pushing yourself the entire time, weren’t you?” he gently scolded, holding me tenderly.

I gripped his shirt, slipping from this world. “Sorry...” I trailed off, closing my eyes before slowly drifting into a slumber where I knew only peace.