Chapter 6
I didn’t completely lack friends. Even though my personality was seriously twisted, there were people I could call close friends.
Still, he was a good friend who treated me to a meal every time we met. I had once asked him why he did that, and he cheerfully replied that there was no one else he could treat like me, someone he could act casually around. However, despite saying that, he wasn’t overly rude.
At most, he would come over uninvited and rummage through my fridge. Since both my parents came back home only after dawn, it wasn’t really a problem, but he would freely drink the carbonated drinks or energy drinks I bought for myself.
One time, I couldn’t hold back and snapped at him about whether he had money to buy my meal yet never seemed to have any money for his drinks. To which he replied,
“Well, it’s just that stealing your drinks tastes way better.”
Hearing that made me abandon any attempts to understand my friend and simply decided to feel my way through. In fact, it made it easier to deal with him.
Anyway, I remembered a time when I went to a PC bang with that friend, and he had remarked that his own computer at home was way better than the rubbish computers there, saying, “What a disappointment.”
When I asked if PC bang computers weren’t considered decent, he quickly got me to understand by saying, “Could you really game on yours after playing on this?”
The reason that memory came back to me was because I was clearly feeling the “disappointment” he described. Just stepping out of the resting area made it hard to breathe in this disgusting and suffocating air.
I thought I had finally adjusted to the twisted mana as it slowly came from the inland, but that was just my delusion. My body had never adapted to this disgusting mana even for a single moment.
My body, already familiar with refreshing air, was silently screaming at me to return to the resting area. I regretted not just taking a nap in the classroom instead, but it was pointless to dwell on it.
Every breath made me feel like I was about to vomit.
Pushing away whispers that one less person wouldn’t matter, I searched for a building that looked like a gym, but all the buildings appeared so fancy that I couldn’t distinguish one from the other.
Hoping for a map like a drowning person grabbing a rotten rope, I wandered around, but it seemed such things were never made as they would ruin the aesthetics.
I foolishly went out just to eat cream bread and ended up messing things up.
…There was no way what I was doing would go well. I shouldn’t even be thinking with my head.
Looking back at my past life, it had always been like this. Whenever I tried to do something on my own, I always ended up with terrible results.
My attempts at clever wordplay would often kill the mood, and trying new foods for excitement always ended up tasting bad. When I declared I wanted to be a writer, no one looked at my work, and even my attempt to let go of life’s pessimism ended in failure.
From that day on, I lived like a wooden plank waiting to sink. I was too afraid to ask for help and too lazy to save myself, just slowly drifting about day by day, aimlessly gnawed by time.
Floating in the vast sea, waiting to rot and shatter into pieces at the bottom.
That was me.
I thought this time would be a bit different.
I felt pathetic for continuing to think dark thoughts, even though I knew I should be thinking positively. When I was in the resting area, I could have positive thoughts, but seeing how low I had sunk just with a little distance, it seemed to be due to the mana.
Yeah, it’s all the mana’s fault.
The reason I felt so depressed, why my lunch tasted terrible, and why I messed up my introduction—all of it was the fault of the twisted mana.
The major culprit of my mood swings, the reason I was friendless, all the bad things were due to this distorted mana.
Once I decided to pin the blame on that innocent scapegoat, I felt a little better. It was a ridiculous excuse, but at least I had something to blame it on.
Of course, just because I felt better didn’t mean my situation improved. I was still lost, and the clock tower in the distance signaled that lunchtime would be over in a few minutes.
Still, it’s human nature to move based on feelings.
So, I should try to get back to the snack bar. At the very least, I remembered the way back to the snack bar.
I thought like that, but my steps felt heavy. It was hard just to walk; how could I even participate in gym class in this condition?
Impossible. Definitely impossible. If it were fresh air, maybe I could manage, but in this air that was worse than a sewer, there was no way I could display even my original strength.
So what should I do? Should I go and ask if it’s okay to sit out because I’m not feeling well? If I did that, I would draw everyone’s attention, wouldn’t I?
No, what if they labeled me as a slacker? No, it already seemed like I had been. But what if it got worse? What if they questioned me, saying, “Do you want special treatment just because everyone is suffering?”
“Ugh… I’m going to be late…”
Before my negative thoughts could spiral again, someone’s voice cut through my thoughts. It definitely sounded like a voice I had heard before.
…I remembered. It was my homeroom teacher’s voice. I felt a bit sad that they couldn’t remember my name, but that was that.
“Hello, Teacher.”
“…Ah, eh? Oh, it’s Hoyeon?”
It felt like they were wondering why I was here. Their expression didn’t look too good, as if they had seen something scary, but really there was no time for that now.
“Do you happen to know where the gym is? I got lost.”
“Oh, you got lost… Just keep going straight down this road, and you’ll find the gym.”
Fortunately, my teacher kindly answered. If I had gone to the snack bar, I would have had to go way further, so maybe stopping to self-deprecate was a good thing after all.
“Ah, do you know what the building looks like? All the buildings look so similar that I couldn’t tell them apart.”
“Ah… I see. The buildings look similar… Just being part of the Empire, I guess this level is quite common…”
That definitely sounded like a muttering meant for nobody, but I still heard it. But it wasn’t worth making it obvious I heard it. It’s quite embarrassing when someone’s thoughts are overheard.
“Sorry to keep you waiting. The gym is a round building, so you should be able to find it quickly.”
After lightly nodding to my teacher, I dashed toward the direction they pointed. Just as the teacher said, there indeed was a round building.
It was more similar to a coliseum than a gym. Well, since the original was fantasy, it’s better not to think too deeply about it. When I walked inside, a huge, muscular teacher was calling attendance.
“Exipri.”
“Yes!”
“Han Dogon.”
“Han Dogon. Not here?”
It seemed Dokan hadn’t arrived yet. Was he lost too? That guy looked really scary, poor him.
Not that it was only him; I was late too.
“…White Royal Family’s Eldest Daughter.”
“Yes.”
Our eyes met from a distance. I couldn’t tell if he was glaring or if he just looked scary, but his intimidating presence was exactly the image I had of a gym teacher.
Fortunately, I wasn’t scolded. However, I couldn’t shake the eerie feeling that I might have added a ‘like’ to my pile of ‘dislikes’. Was this the type of teacher who wouldn’t scold us until we crossed a line?
“Looks like everyone’s here except one person. I never imagined there would be a fool who would be late on the first day.”
There was power in his voice, and his gaze exuded pressure. It looked like a fist was about to come crashing down on me the moment I joked around; he was closer to a drill instructor than a teacher.
“Nice to meet you, cadets. I am Georg, and I will be in charge of your education for the year.”
Clap, clap, clap.
…?
Only I clapped. Isn’t it normal to clap after a teacher announces their name? Isn’t that a basic rule? But looking around, the reactions were incredibly odd.
– What’s up with that guy?
No one said it out loud, but it felt like I could hear it. What’s wrong? Is clapping a major crime? I felt like a complete fool. The gazes directed at me were filled with obvious bewilderment.
“…Who clapped just now?”
The tone of his voice was off. No, really, what’s the deal? Was there something I didn’t know that was making everyone uneasy? The mood began to get increasingly ominous; it felt like I had committed a grave error.
“…It’s White Royal Family’s Eldest Daughter.”
I felt like if I kept this up, we’d all be doing laps around the track, so I finally confessed. For a moment, it felt like lasers were coming from the instructor’s eyes. Most of the expressions were bewilderment, but I wouldn’t miss the faint hint of anger in there.
“Is there such a culture in the East?”
What should I do when he asks with a tone suggesting my head might crack if I answer? I don’t even know why clapping would be punished like this. It felt worse than being scolded for being late.
“…I’m sorry.”
I had braced myself for a hit, but to my surprise, nothing happened.
“Ha. It hasn’t been too late today yet, so I’ll let this slide. You may not even understand the meaning of actions, so I will overlook it just this once.”
As Instructor Georg let out a sigh that expressed how tired he was of the world, the whispers among the students intensified. My mind went blank, and it was clear they were gossiping.
Ah. I want to die. Why does everything I do turn out like this?