The Guide to Capturing a Black Lotus

Chapter 122: Brain Crash Pit 2.0 —— Fifteen Years (2) *First Half



Translator Note:

Lmao, the chapter name reflects my state. Translating the last few lines I have left to work on in this chapter is going to break my brain. But not because of difficulty, rather, it is reluctance and procrastination. I’m breaking the last chapter into two since I have a humongous bout of procrastination which I need to get past. Might as well give you something after going dead silent for the past week and a half or so. I’ll post the last half of this chapter in a few hours. Curse this personality of mine, I really need to fix this habit of hating to finish the last few lines of a chapter. Anyways, enjoy!

Every time there was a new intern in the Paranormal Bureau, they would fearlessly talk to 0306.

The reason was very simple. Here, there were all kinds of creatures, ones with three heads talking at the same time, ones with wings who flew amok through the church, some with no limbs, only relying on their tentacles to wriggling around, leaving a trail of slime…… Finally seeing one which had all their limbs and facial features, it was a particularly welcome sight for them.

Not to mention, this person had a handsome appearance. He wore a finely embroidered traditional costume with tightly bound cuffs and the hair tie on his ponytail danced as he walked, full of youthful vigor. All of this added together, made him seem very approachable.

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So this time, an intern of the same age group stopped him and talked to him excitedly, with the familiarity of a good friend: “Where are you going?”

The young man’s eyes were downcast, his words concise as he tried to conceal the impatience in his voice: “I’m going back to work on my mission.”

“Are there any spiritual rewards after completing a mission?”

“Ls.”

“Mbld…… obyv ycswv uswa oytlp?”

“Lsdl sq vbyv lkvbla.”

Mbl rlapsd obs ypjle vbl iwlpvksd, zlv swv y pbsav zywtb yde awqqzle bkp qzwqqu byka, qzycclatypvle: “Mbld obu yal usw pvkzz osajkdt blal?”

Yw Fbldt’p ryvkldnl ayd swv yde bl oyzjle rypv bkx: “Mblal’p ds obu.”

“Elzz …… bso yzssq.” Mbl uswdt kdvlad nblole bkp cwcczl twx, xwxczkdt vs bkxplzq, cwv pyo vbyv vbl uswdt-xypvla-zkjl uswdt xyd vwadle cynj, yp kq bl bye psxlvbkdt vs ypj.

Tkp hsknl oyp hlau rzlypydv: “Eblal yal vbl xkppksd yppktdxldv elvykzp qsa cssj vaydpxktayvsap?”

“Gb…… Rv’p yv vbl okpbkdt rsde.”

“How can I participate in additional missions?”

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Weirdo……

He doesn’t even get paid, but he’s a workaholic.

The intern squinted their eyes and blew a bubble, smiling at him: “Get an application form from Director Xu and go through the procedures.”

4.

“0306, your application for human evolution has been rejected.”

The young man’s face instantly sank.

As soon as he knocked on the door of his office, he was greeted by the polished scoundrel, Director Xu, who was smiling as he held a thick stack of papers with a red “return” seal. Singing the same tune behind him was Secretary Xiao Qin.

“I’m sorry, 0306.” Xiao Qin’s suit was well-ironed, and he had his hair combed the same way as Director Xu, in a successful businessman’s style, holding a striped folder and two dimples appearing when smiling.

The man surnamed Xu was the true head of the Paranormal Bureau, managing all sorts of things in this block of 6,000 parallel worlds. His age and species were unknown and his aesthetics were worrying. In today’s world of electronic filing, he was particularly fond of and stubbornly stuck with archaic paper procedures.

In normal circumstances, Director Xu was responsible for lighting the fire, and the smiling Xiao Qin was responsible for putting out the fire.

Mu Sheng snatched the application from his hands with a somber face: “Why was it rejected again?” He flipped through the pages on the table and raised his eyes, a condescending look on his face.  Looking through his dense eyelashes, he said, “Is it because of my vertical writing? Or is it because I wrote in traditional characters?”

Director Xu leaned back comfortably in his leather chair, his gaze passing through his gold-rimmed glasses, and looked at the young man in front of him with interest.

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Mu Sheng.

According to the parallel world maintenance guidelines, after the book transmigrator completes the mission, there will be a mission reward which can be proposed by the mission agent themselves and realized at the discretion of the Paranormal Bureau.

An unusual young lady by the name of Ling Miaomiao wished to bring a character in the parallel world back to her own world. The reason for her application was that if Mu Sheng was separated from her, he might completely black out, risking the safety of the parallel world.

At that time, the little girl spoke pitifully, saying that even bringing him out and raising him like a pet would be fine. Anyhow, he could not stay in the world of “Demon Hunter” and could not be separated from her.

At that time, under threat of security, the Paranormal Bureau had no choice but to use a machine to detect [Mu Sheng]’s blackening value. The result turned out to be exactly as she stated. When this character learned that the mission agent was about to leave, he started verging on the edge of fully blackening.

However, he personally read the materials and found the half-succubus species had great potential and good qualifications. It was too much of a waste to let him be a mere pet, hence he was pulled over to be a system assistant intern, specializing in handling disobedient characters in the parallel worlds.

It turned out that his decision was wise, 0306 was exactly the type that superiors liked best.

He had a very high work efficiency, gave no nonsense, would not give conditions, and did not ask for pay. He was practically custom-made for the Paranormal Bureau which was sorely lacking in funds, since he came, the parallel worlds, large and small, had become a great deal more peaceful.

There was only one thing, he would leave his post from time to time and no one would be able to see heads nor tails of him.

However, this kind of thing wasn’t as important in the face of the enormous benefits he brought.

“Ahem.” The young man pushed up his glasses pretentiously, “Little Mu, I know you applied to evolve into a human because you want to marry that young lady named Miaomiao. Am I right?”

“……” Mu Sheng’s face flushed slightly.

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He was somewhat distressed.

The marriage which had been completed long ago, seemed to not count according to the rules of this place.

Xiao Qin’s nerves were stretched taut, and his gaze sharpened.

He noticed Director Xu did not call him, “0306,” but softly called him, “Xiao Mu,” the moment his tone turned appeasing, he knew that the boss was cooking up something nefarious again.

The Paranormal Bureau was poor.

Each year, the funding allocated by the higher ups was never enough to make up for the large deficit in equipment maintenance. Seeing that the parallel worlds were going to be □□1I don’t have a clue as to what this is supposed to be censoring, apologies. Feel free to let me know what your guesses are, if you have any, in the comments below~2, Xu Bapi invented a new creative method – randomly deploying on campus university students into parallel worlds to stabilize it, which was glorified as, “triggered time travel.”

The young girl called Miaomiao was one of those unlucky enough to be caught by this.

As a result, much of the □□3Mhmm, you got it, another censored word I can’t figure out.4 equipment cost was saved, but because the volunteers had to be given rewards, labor costs were stretched to the limit, so that they could only use the lowest-end security robots as customer service. Aside from setting tasks and providing survival protection, they could not provide any substantial interpersonal warmth to the volunteers. And he still had hundreds of complaints on hand that hadn’t been processed yet!

After 0306 finally came, the Paranormal Bureau had a period of peace, so would Xu Bapi be willing to let go of such a useful person, hmm?

If he evolved into a human to get married and found another job, who would be their hard working customer service?

As expected, Director Xu stretched out a finger and began to pay lip service: “Oh, to get married …… whether or not you are a human is not the problem, nowadays, parents are very accepting, fundamentally speaking, the most important thing, is still your academic qualifications.”

Xiao Qin: ……

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Sure enough, the boss is the boss, he thinks very quickly.

“Without an education, how will you find a job? If you don’t find a job, how will you make money to support the young lady? You only know Pythagorean theorem right now, do you even know what linear algebra is?”

Mu Sheng: “……”

Xiao Qin interrupted: “In fact, the most important thing is the residence permit, the residence permit.”

Xu Bapi followed up his words: “Yes, the residence permit. The foreign population has to be purged, not to mention a demon turned human. The human settlement quota was already small, let alone in the imperial capital. You don’t have an residence permit,  so how will you buy a house?”

The young man’s eyes turned slightly and he pursed his lips.

He had heard about it while in the barrier order, Ling Miaomiao had told the young lady in the dormitory that she wanted to stay in the imperial capital in the future.

The imperial capital…… hmm……


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