Chapter 79
Staring at her brother, who was sitting across from her in the classroom, she couldn’t stop thinking about what his mother and their father said. Sighing, she looked back down at her books and frowned.
The book she was reading was on the human body. She was doing research on how that boy’s father could die without a wound. It wasn’t poison, so what could it be?
“What is it?” Tian Cao asked.
She looked over at him. “What do you mean?”
“We’ve been here for the past two hours. You stopped paying attention to your studies and you keep looking at me. Have I done anything to annoy you?” He asked as he gave her his full attention.
She shook her head, “No. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Is it about your father?” He asked.
She smiled. “Do you really want to talk about this?”
He nodded. “I don’t see why not. You’re distracted. It’s better to get things off of your mind than brood over it.”
“I don’t want to marry you,” she said.
Tian Cao’s eyes widened. His breathing hitched while his expression faltered.
“First father brought it up, then mother did. Did you tell them you want to marry me?” She asked.
He lowered his gaze and nodded his head.
“Why? We’re siblings.”
Leaning back against the chair as he relaxed. He had wrapped his mind around this a long time ago. They would eventually have to talk about this. “I know we are siblings.”
“Don’t you find it strange?”
“I’ve never seen you as my sister,” he said.
She frowned. “What does that mean?”
Swallowing as he gathered courage. He could finally say it. “I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you. It was disheartening to find out that you are my father’s child—I wish you weren’t.”
Youxia didn’t know what to say. The only one she loved was her father. She was already finding it hard to accept that he was having another child. She had to accept so much. Did she really have to accept this, too?
“But we can’t.”
“So, who will you marry? The crown prince of Silla? The crown prince Baekje? Gaya? Or will you marry into a foreign dynasty overseas? Maybe you’ll marry the right ministers, son? Or the left minister’s nephew.”
“If this is because your mother wants power, then you should forget it!”
Tian Cao picked up the book on his desk and threw it at her, making sure to miss her. Standing up, he made his way over to her desk and stopped. Looking down at her, he asked, “Are you saying my mother controls my heart?”
Youxia’s heart trembled the moment he threw the book. She was sure it would hit her. Her brother was good at swordsmanship and archery, and so much more. Her uncle always compared Tian Cao to their father—she could tell that he was upset, but he was containing his anger.
Standing up, she said, “That’s not what I meant.”
“It is exactly what you meant. Do you think I don’t know you? I know you very well. I know that you don’t trust me and you’ve been acting strange ever since your father’s pregnancy. I don’t think you understand the palace life yet, seeing that you have lived here long enough, but as a princess, you need to know where your priorities lie. Doing whatever you want won’t get you far and tell me, what were you doing in the prison talking to someone you don’t know? When has it been your duty to meddle in state affairs?”
“Ah-Cao!” She couldn’t believe him—or was this really how he was? She was confused, what happened to the brother who was cautious and happy around her.
He shook his head as he stared at her. “What about the bird you killed in my mother’s palace? What are you trying to do, Youxia?”
He never called her by her name. What was happening?
She couldn’t answer him. How do you explain impulsive thoughts?
“Why aren’t you answering me? What if his majesty hears about this and your father?”
“No, no, please don’t tell them,” she said, grabbing his hand.
He looked down at her hands, then looked at her and pushed her down onto her seat, saying, “Don’t act like a fool around me. What I think and what I feel are my own thoughts. It has nothing to do with my family influence, just as yours has nothing to do with your background. I am my own person and I can feel how I want to. If you don’t love me, then fine! It’s not as if I was planning on forcing you into marriage. Yes, I want to marry you, only because you’ve been the one in my heart.”
Youxia watched as her brother walked away in anger. Tears welled up in her eyes. She felt so strange—how was things going to be after this?
*
Tian Cao stormed into Ae Cha’s palace looking for his father. He ignored Ae Cha, who tried to speak to him.
He found his father having tea in the chamber. Changling frowned as he looked at his son. Tian Cao was never one to show his emotions.
“Who do I need to kill?” He asked.
Tian Cao sighed exasperatedly. “You’ll be the end of me if you killed her.”
Changling smiled, amused, “Aren’t you supposed to be studying with your sister?”
“She said she doesn’t want to marry me and thinks mother’s influenced me into loving her.”
Changling drank from the cup as he took in his son’s words. “Have a seat.”
“I can’t, I’m too angry,” he said.
Nodding his head, he said, “Youxia’s simpleminded, but she can overthink situations. She’s also calculative, and her actions are random and bizarre.”
“Then tell me, why can’t she accept my feelings?”
“Because she’s Youxian’s child.”
“What?”
“I’ve known him for well over a decade, and he still does not love me. Maybe he loved me at some point in time, but he stopped. Since his return, our relationship is nothing but physical.”
“So it’s your fault she doesn’t like me.”
“Is that what you took from what I said?”
He nodded.
Sighing, Changling said, “Don’t make the same mistake I did. None of the people I married love me.”
“My mother loves you father and so does Consort Kwon.”
Changling smiled, “There’s no love inside the palace, son. Look at my mother and her husband. They are the perfect example of a couple that loves one another.”
Thinking about his grandmother and her husband, he had to agree. When you compared them to Emperor Wu Yong and his wives, there was really no love in the palace.
Sighing, he sat down. “I think I’m ready to study in the army.”
Changling chuckled with a nod. “I’ll arrange that, but I will not be telling your mother about it. You will.”
*
“Your highness, Princess Youxia is here to see you.”
Tian Cao sighed. Nodding his head, “Let her through.”
Youxia walked into his chamber and saw him sitting on a chair in his white night clothes. She was wearing her night clothes too.
He raised a brow as he saw her. “It’s late.”
“I know,” she said sadly.
Waving her over, he said, “You can sit here.”
She sat down beside him. Youxia didn’t know where to start. “Are you leaving because of me?”
“You heard about it so soon?” He asked.
Nodding her head, “Father and grandfather were speaking. I overheard.”
He nodded, “I’m not leaving because of you, I’m leaving because eventually have to. Father has been talking about me training in the army to make me a capable leader. You telling me that we can’t be together just helped me speed up things? Maybe I’ll get rid of my love for you in the process.”
“But I don’t want you to leave.”
He raised a brow. “You can’t always have what you want and neither can I.”
“But you were discussing marriage. Aren’t you supposed to meet a few candidates?”
“It doesn’t matter. I know all of them. We grew up together, so it’s nothing new.”
She took his hand in hers, saying as tears formed in her eyes, “I’m sorry for making you angry earlier on.”
He smiled, “It’s okay. I’m over it.”
He looked out of the window. “I don’t understand how your guards let you leave.”
She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. Tian Cao looked at her, surprised. His heart was fluttering like it always does.
Resting his head on hers, he asked, “Do you want to sleep here tonight?”
“Mn,” she hummed, it wouldn’t be the first time, and she didn’t want their conversation to make things feel weird between them.