ALL NOVEL Chapter 1: What just happened ?
Nathan was still standing there in the forest, looking where the self proclaimed god of memory was before sprawling with a thud on the ground.
‘ What the fuck just happened exactly ? Anyway, I’m relieved that all my memories came back … maybe a bit too relieved. I need to pee’
Nathan abruptly stood up to go relieve himself on a nearby tree than came back to the spot he was earlier and sat down exclaiming.
« _ Pheeew I feel so much lighter »
‘Ok now let's recap this divine fuckery ... I’m a goblin, so on the bright side I’m alive and I remember who I am, or was ? I do relatively remember my goblin life, but it is fuzzy, maybe it’s because of the goblin brain I have, which is obviously less developed than a human’s or just because it's too traumatic. Who knows ? Who cares ? On the other side, except me obviously being a goddamn GOBLIN ! I noticed something while relieving myself earlier, I have a mini dong … not cool, seriously. Still the worst thing is, I’m bald … not the clean kind of bald with a shaved head but bald with a few long hairs scattered on the top of my cranium Gollum style … looks like my balding problem followed me in this world, shit my worst nightmare realised. On a relatively positive note I’m lean … but still I’m a goblin. Farwell my fat reserves diligently cultivated with cheap five euros kebabs.’
Nathan sighed and looked blankly at the sky through the treetops.
‘ The god of … what was it again ? Reminiscence and memory ? Considering the help, he gave I should just call him the bro-god yeah ? He asked me to share my story with him but honestly … I’m not sure if I will survive long enough to see him again.’
*siiigh~*
'At least I’m an intelligent goblin which is a non-negligible advantage comparatively to the rest of my kind, and from what I remember from my scattered goblin memory we can evolve, no we must evolve it is the only purpose of our life. I’m not exactly sure of how it works but I instinctively know I’m not far from evolving to a hobgoblin … The information just flows in mind, I’m not sure how but I know, just like I know how long I can hold my breath or when I need to take a dump'
Now first thing first, I need to eat, and to eat I need to hunt … The problem is that the beast here are not cute rabbit easy to hunt, but predators, hell even their prey are violent and strong enough to easily kill a modern unarmed man’
Nathan stood up abruptly before exclaiming.
« _ I need a group ! A gang ! for a goblin strength is in numbers, right ? And if shit hit the fan, I can send them to stall the dangers by gloriously dying for me ! I need to take in consideration my short legs when I will recruit my future meat shields … »
As he started to walk in the direction of the camp to find some goblin willing to join him, he thought.
‘If I want to recruit some minions, I need something to bait them, weapons ? Weapons dealer are always popular right ? I should be able to make some javelins, but I need something more … humm … an atlatl ! It should work perfectly to compensate for the short arms of goblins. First I need to make one for myself.’
Nathan then picked up a good looking stone on the ground and searched two good rod, one long enough to make a javelin and another one to make the atlatl, finally he dragged them near the camp to work on it.
He broke the stone against another one nearby to sharpen it, then trimmed the long rod to make the tip of the javelin before working on the atlatl.
‘ Although it’s a primitive tool, with it the goblins will be able to throw the javelin farther and with more precision, it should really work like a charm. It’s actually really easy to concentrate on one thing for hours when internet is not here to remind us that we can anesthetize our brain to escape a shitty reality … ahh I miss you so much internet’
Once the tools where completed and tested he took them with him to sit in the outskirt of the giant camp for the night, but without being able to sleep he was thinking about what trap he could use in his future hunt.
‘The best I can do should be the classic pitfall trap with stakes at the bottom, but for this one I will need some other goblins to make it. Maybe I could make some collet in case I find the burrow of some animals on the way’
The next day way after the sunrise Nathan woke up and stretched.
« Aaaaah »
'What a soothing and pleasant night … no I lied, my back hurt me so much I feel like I was massaged by a roller-compactor, and the fucking mosquitos arrrgh two lifelong arch-enemies, fuck the mosquitos ! Anyhow it’s time for some minions gathering '
Nathan stood up before going further into the camp in the directions of scattered groups of goblins.
As he arrive, he spots a group of four familiar goblins who were sitting in circle, once he was near them one of the goblin stood up to stare at him before calling Nathan.
« _ You back !?
_ Y-yes I’m back. »
The other goblin was wearing a surprised face.
‘ Hum hum already impressed by my speaking skills I see, maybe convincing them will be easier than I thought if they manage to understand me’
« _ I have a proposition for you comrades, I want to hunt !
_ No hunt goblin die no weapons » Said the goblin.
« _ We will be fine, here look. » Said Nathan showing his javelin as he fixe it on the atlatl, then he uses it to throw the javelin in the distance he then turned again to the goblin group while smiling like kid with his new toy.
« _ So ? Do you want to hunt with me ? »
The first goblin was hesitating for a moment before turning to his group who were looking dumbfounded between the place where the javelin landed and Nathan
‘Now the real bait’
« _ If you come with me, I will make you the same weapons, one for each of you. »
Another goblin spoke loudly
« _ I come » It is all it took for the rest of the goblin to follow, the first goblin looked seriously at me and said
« _ We come but you give weapon before »
Nathan nodded with a big smile.
‘ Nailed It ’