The Night Of The Untraced

Chapter 18



Seungjoo gritted his teeth roughly and frowned harshly. With eyes glaring fiercely at Muheun, he spoke each word clearly and deliberately.“Whether you keep your distance, stop getting involved with me, or do whatever it takes to prevent my spiritual sight from opening, just do whatever you want.”If Muheun insisted, there was no stopping him. It was suffocating in many ways, but holding on any longer just hurt. It wasn’t about pride, just pure emotion. It was infuriating to always be the one left feeling regretful.“But you need to know this.”A determined light shone in Seungjoo’s brown eyes. Muheun faced him with an unreadable expression. Blinking slowly, Seungjoo spoke in a low voice.“There’s no next time.”“……”“Once this is over, it’s really over.”Widening a close distance is as difficult as closing a widened one. The former might be possible unilaterally, but the latter is never possible by oneself alone.And Seungjoo had no intention of being cooperative after today.“……”“……”Perhaps Muheun understood Seungjoo’s resolve, as he couldn’t say anything for a while. He simply stared blankly into space with unfocused eyes. After a moment, he blinked slowly and then gave a faint smile.“Go to sleep quickly.”“……”That was it. Picking up the towel that had fallen to the floor, Muheun left the room without looking back. As the door clicked shut, Seungjoo also let out a weak laugh.* * *It had been twenty years since Seungjoo had known Muheun. He had known him since he first opened his eyes, so there was no need to count the years. Despite the intermittent breaks, the past they shared didn’t disappear.The waiting was tiring, but he never worried that Muheun wouldn’t come. He never worried about their relationship deteriorating or their meetings becoming awkward. Knowing it was an unbreakable bond, he believed their relationship would continue to flow naturally.‘But now, suddenly…’Thump! Seungjoo put down his paper cup and let out a sigh. The intensity of it startled Jinwoo, who flinched noticeably. Calming himself, Jinwoo picked up a puffed rice snack and tossed it at Seungjoo.“Hey, you scared me.”The snack hit Seungjoo’s face and fell to the table. Seungjoo frowned slightly, then picked up the fallen snack and ate it nonchalantly. As he sighed again, Jinwoo looked at him with a worried expression.“What’s with you today…”It was Friday afternoon. The two had just stopped by the sociology department’s pub as planned. Jinwoo, Seungjoo, and occasionally other classmates who took breaks from serving sat around the table. The people at the table kept changing, and naturally, so did the number of empty bottles.“You’ve been acting weird lately. Is something wrong?”Jinwoo seemed concerned about Seungjoo’s spaced-out behavior. He had seen similar behavior several times recently but hadn’t been told what was going on, so his curiosity was understandable. It wasn’t just that Seungjoo seemed upset; he looked like he had a story to tell.“You look like you just got dumped.”“……”It was an undeniable truth, even though Jinwoo meant it as a joke. Seungjoo couldn’t even force a laugh, fiddling with his paper cup instead. Jinwoo, noticing his reaction, continued gently.“Hey, I’m just kidding. You said you don’t have anyone like that.”“…I did get dumped.”“See, I knew… what?”Jinwoo’s words trailed off. Seungjoo took a sip of the rice wine in his paper cup and frowned slightly. Maybe it was the alcohol, but words he wouldn’t normally say flowed out easily.“I got dumped. By someone I like.”‘…Go to sleep quickly.’Muheun hadn’t returned until morning after leaving the room like that. In fact, he hadn’t come back even after morning, so Seungjoo had to come out to the living room in time for school. Muheun was sitting on the sofa waiting for him and even prepared breakfast as if nothing had happened.On their way to school, Muheun told him about what happened at the lake, what the goldfish said, what he saw when he fell into the water, and even the last words he didn’t hear.Muheun, seeming to have guessed, nodded and asked Seungjoo,‘Is that all you wanted to say?’‘…No.’When he left the hospital, he had a lot to say to him. He had thought of countless reassuring words to say to Muheun, seeing his anxious face and despairing gaze. Like suggesting they stay together if he was that worried or saying he’d behave as Muheun wanted until he felt secure, or even suggesting they find that new faction together.‘I won’t say it.’But that’s only if Muheun would listen. How could Seungjoo persuade someone who had already declared otherwise? If he said keeping a distance was safer, staying close would only make him more anxious.‘I don’t think there’s any need to talk about it.’So, in the end, it meant this: Muheun was telling him that he wouldn’t do anything to trigger Seungjoo’s spiritual sight again, and that their uncertain relationship wouldn’t progress any further. It was a one-sided, forceful notification of a scenario Seungjoo had never imagined.‘Okay… then.’‘……’‘Let me know if you need anything later.’It was only then that Seungjoo realized he had been secretly hoping. He had managed to stay calm not because he didn’t want things to progress, but because he hadn’t felt any anxiety. He must have been complacent because he knew that they could move forward whenever they wanted.In any case, Muheun dropped Seungjoo off at school, told him to listen well in class, and then turned his back. Before that, Seungjoo had also told Muheun that he had an afternoon drinking appointment with Jinwoo and to come pick him up later. The entire process wasn’t as awkward as he expected and didn’t differ much from their usual routine.However, despite all that, Seungjoo couldn’t help but feel down.“…You got dumped?”“Yeah.”“By someone you like?”“Yeah.”“You, Seungjoo?”“Yes, how many times do you need to ask?”“…Wow.”He thought Jinwoo would freak out at the fact that he liked someone, but surprisingly, Jinwoo didn’t react too dramatically. He just stared at him in disbelief, blinking his eyes as if he couldn’t believe it. The sigh-like exclamation that came out of his open mouth was just a bonus.“Wow… crazy…”Was it that surprising? As soon as Seungjoo thought that, he asked Jinwoo bluntly.“What’s so surprising about it?”“First, that you like someone. Second, that you confessed. Third, that you got rejected.”Jinwoo even counted on his fingers as he listed the reasons. Seungjoo didn’t understand why the first and third were surprising, but he knew he needed to correct the second.“I didn’t confess.”“…You didn’t confess?”“Yeah, I never planned to.”It was more accurate to say he never felt the need to. As he had told Yejun, he didn’t particularly want to date. Besides, even without saying it, Muheun probably understood Seungjoo’s feelings well enough.“Is it that shocking that I got rejected?”“Of course it’s shocking. Didn’t I tell you before? You seem like you’d be good at relationships.”“You never said that.”“Well, now you know.”Jinwoo replied nonchalantly and poured some makgeolli into Seungjoo’s paper cup. Seungjoo fiddled with the cup and frowned slightly when he saw the wooden chopsticks next to him.‘Those damn wooden chopsticks…’When he had seen the goldfish’s memories, the most frequent things were wooden chopsticks and cigarette butts. There must still be a lot of trash at the bottom of the lake. It was embarrassing to be surrounded by disposable items like these now.“Jinwoo, you don’t smoke and throw your butts in the lake, do you?”“The lake? The one at school? Dude, what do you take me for… There’s a trash can right there, why would I throw them in the lake?”It was a completely out-of-the-blue question, but Jinwoo responded casually. Exactly, some crazy people actually did that. Seungjoo just took another sip of his makgeolli and let it go. Jinwoo also poured himself a cup and nodded.“That person must be something too. Why would someone reject Seungjoo?”“They didn’t say they disliked me…”Muheun disliking him? That was unimaginable. If anything, it was probably because Muheun cared too much about him that they ended up in this situation. Seungjoo had never once doubted Muheun’s affection.“He said we were getting too close and needed some distance.”“What does that mean? Is he leading you on?”“…It’s not like that.”Seungjoo realized he had oversimplified things, making Muheun sound like a playboy. It fit too well, so he laughed inappropriately for the situation. Jinwoo, watching Seungjoo, asked in a puzzled voice.“Does he like you?”“…”The smile that had been on Seungjoo’s face vanished completely. It wasn’t because Jinwoo was wrong, but because he didn’t know what to say. Jinwoo, interpreting his reaction, clicked his tongue and shook his head.“Dude, just confess already.”His tone was almost exasperated. More precisely, it seemed a bit empty.“Clearly, that’s the issue. You haven’t confessed, so he’s trying to create distance out of frustration. You’re the one leading him on.”“…Hey.”This time, it was Seungjoo who became the playboy. Even though that couldn’t be the reason, Jinwoo’s words intrigued him. Not the part about leading someone on or being frustrated, but the idea of confessing.“The more straightforward you are in times like this, the better.”Maybe he should just say it. Tell him that he likes him, and ask if he really wants to stop here. If that’s what Muheun wants, Seungjoo would also prefer to end things clearly without any regrets.However, this too was just wishful thinking, and the answer Muheun would give was all too predictable. He would probably pretend he hadn’t heard anything and just say, “Get home safely.” The reason he was keeping his distance was definitely not because he didn’t understand Seungjoo’s feelings.“Treat me if it goes well.”“What are you talking about?”Seungjoo replied indifferently and, just like Jinwoo had done earlier, picked up and tossed a puffed rice snack. Jinwoo, catching the flying snack in an annoyingly playful manner, chuckled and popped it into his mouth. Luckily, the conversation about the person Seungjoo liked ended there.* * *The drinking session ended not long after that. After Seohyun, who was wearing a traditional Korean hanbok, brought them a complimentary snack and sat down at the table herself, drinking about half a glass of dongdongju (a type of Korean rice wine), Seungjoo stood up as soon as the time to meet Muheun approached.“I have to go.”Being disappointed was one thing, but keeping his promise was another. Since Muheun had to go to work again, it was better to head to the main gate before it got too late. Besides, drinking any more was out of the question.“Is it that late already?”Perhaps because they had been informed beforehand, Jinwoo didn’t try to stop Seungjoo. Instead, he stood up as well and bid farewell to Seohyun, who seemed reluctant to let them go. Seohyun and the other friends saw them off without much complaint.“Both of you, take care.”“Yeah, sell a lot.”After settling the bill and stepping out of the booth, the lively festival scene greeted them. Since the night was still young, there were many students drinking at the booths of other departments.“I can’t believe the festival is already over… I haven’t even fully enjoyed it yet.”Seungjoo couldn’t really agree with what Jinwoo was saying. Ever since the festival began, Seungjoo hadn’t had any particularly good memories. In fact, he had almost died yesterday, so his first festival nearly became his last. If there was anything he could count as a positive, it was probably the twenty meal tickets neatly tucked away in his bag.“You should’ve enjoyed the festival more with the others.”“Ugh, the truth is, I drank way too much yesterday, and I’m still struggling.”Considering how much Choi Jinwoo loved drinking, he must have really gone overboard if it was making him feel this bad. No wonder he wasn’t handling the dongdongju well today; Seungjoo had assumed it just wasn’t to his taste, but it was obvious now that he was suffering from a hangover the whole time.“How much did you even drink?”“I don’t know, I didn’t even count…”“Oh, geez.”Clicking his tongue, Seungjoo began walking ahead. Jinwoo followed, naturally slinging his arm over Seungjoo’s shoulder. Normally, Seungjoo would have shrugged it off, but the warmth of the contact wasn’t unpleasant, so he decided to let it be.* * *Seungjoo hadn’t realized it until now, but as he kept drinking, he had inadvertently passed his usual limit. Even though they had left the booth with plenty of time, it still took quite a while to reach the main gate. The slow pace was partly due to Jinwoo stopping for a smoke break.Maybe it was because his sense of smell was dulled by the alcohol, but the cigarette smell coming from Jinwoo didn’t seem so unpleasant. Jinwoo, after brushing off his clothes, approached Seungjoo again with a cheeky grin. As they continued toward the main gate, Jinwoo kept chatting non-stop, babbling on about trivial matters.“So, that time, Kim Seohyun…”Normally, it would have been a boring topic, but with the alcohol, Seungjoo found himself laughing more easily. Of course, it was a subtle change, so subtle that others might not even notice. Seungjoo responded with half-hearted replies, occasionally breaking into a faint, meaningless smile whenever Jinwoo said something ridiculous.“Ah, Choi Jinwoo, you’re such a funny guy…”Overall, it wasn’t bad. The cool spring weather, the nearly full moon, and the streetlights and illuminated lamps all lined up in a row. The slightly excited feeling hadn’t subsided, and Jinwoo’s chatter showed no signs of stopping.“I’m serious, you should have been at that drinking party.”“I don’t really want to see it with my own eyes.”“You’re so heartless.”Jinwoo playfully tightened his arm around Seungjoo’s shoulder. It was like he was choking him, so Seungjoo grabbed his wrist with a chuckle. He was about to say that he was suffocating when, without thinking, his gaze landed on a familiar figure.“You’re being so cold between us…”Seungjoo half-listened to Jinwoo’s words, letting them in one ear and out the other. The moment their eyes met, his good mood turned uneasy. The smile on his face slowly faded, and his expression involuntarily hardened.But the person standing in front of the main gate just looked at Seungjoo quietly, as always.“……”“……”The gaze locked in the air felt heavier than usual today. If it weren’t for Jinwoo’s arm around his shoulder, Seungjoo might have stopped walking. As the distance between them closed, Seungjoo’s expression grew stiffer, to the point where even Jinwoo asked curiously.“What’s wrong?”“…Nothing.”Seungjoo answered slowly, brushing off Jinwoo’s arm. Since he was holding Jinwoo’s wrist, it was enough to just push him away. Jinwoo, who turned his head to follow Seungjoo’s gaze, also spotted the tall figure and widened his eyes.“That guy’s here again?”They were close enough for him to hear, but Seungjoo didn’t bother to stop him. He simply nodded in acknowledgment and took a big step forward. Before putting some distance between himself and Jinwoo, he didn’t forget to say goodbye, as usual.“I’m going ahead.”* * *Even though he was late for their agreed time, Muheun didn’t nag him about it. He just opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if he had something to say, but kept quiet. Seungjoo wondered what was going on with him, but the mystery was only solved when they neared the residential area.“Did you smoke with Jinwoo?”“…”Seungjoo, who had been walking well, glanced at Muheun. Under the streetlight, long eyelashes cast shadows on his face. Muheun blinked a few times and looked at Seungjoo with just his eyes.“It smelled stronger than usual.”How does he even notice that? They were closer than usual, but to Seungjoo, it didn’t seem all that different. Maybe some of the smell had rubbed off because they were standing so close, but it didn’t really make much difference.Seungjoo was about to ask if he really thought he had smoked, but the words that came out instead were:“…So what if I did?”Muheun’s gaze, which had been looking straight ahead, shifted to Seungjoo. In contrast, Seungjoo kept his eyes firmly forward, speaking slowly.“I’m not a kid…”Who cares if someone smokes or not, it’s not like it’s a crime. Besides, alcohol and cigarettes are both bad for your health anyway. If he was going to complain about smoking, he should have started with the fact that Seungjoo had been drinking.“You don’t need to worry about it.”“…”Muheun didn’t respond to the clear line Seungjoo was drawing. He just raised his eyebrows and let out a sigh, pulling his lips into a thin line. Tilting his head slightly, Muheun murmured softly.“You must’ve drunk a lot too.”“…”How did he know? Seungjoo was a little tipsy, but he was sure he hadn’t shown it much. He hadn’t been laughing easily like when he was with Jinwoo, and his pace hadn’t slowed down either.“It’s your drinking habit. You make that face.”Whatever “that face” meant, Seungjoo couldn’t argue with Muheun. Of all the people in the world, even more than Seungjoo himself, Muheun knew him best.Muheun spoke kindly to the silent Seungjoo.“Don’t smoke. It’s bad for you.”“…”“And don’t drink too much, okay?”His voice was full of concern, soft and gentle, almost too soothing to listen to when tipsy. His words were like sweet foam that melted gently in the mouth, tickling and sweetening the air.“I’m just worried about you.”That worry of his never seemed to go away, whether he was picking up Seungjoo every day, kissing him when Seungjoo didn’t want it, disappearing during the full moon, or keeping his distance now.‘Does he like you?’Well, who knows, but he definitely worries about me.There might not be no connection between those two feelings, but it was clear which one weighed more. Knowing that, Seungjoo couldn’t give a definite answer.“…”Even though Seungjoo didn’t respond, Muheun didn’t press him for an answer. It was clear that Muheun hadn’t spoken with the expectation of being heard. That must be why they remained quiet as they walked up the hill and into the residential area.“I’ll come pick you up on Monday.”When they reached the house, Muheun said this while kindly opening the front gate for him. The large wooden gate was the same place where Seungjoo had kissed him on New Year’s Day. When Seungjoo didn’t go inside and instead looked at him, Muheun smiled softly, his eyes gently closing as he did.“If you’re going anywhere this weekend, let me know.”How could he act like nothing was wrong? Was it because he was older, or was it because his heart was just that much bigger? Either way, the gap between them felt impossible to close, and that didn’t sit well with Seungjoo.“…Hyung.”So, on impulse, Seungjoo reached out and grabbed Muheun’s sleeve. It was a very faint touch, but Muheun froze as if he had been held tightly.Staring into Muheun’s dark eyes, reflecting the moonlight, Seungjoo whispered softly, his lips barely moving.“I like you, hyung.”He hadn’t realized how nerve-wracking these words would be.The confession was so quiet it could have been drowned out by the wind, but as it left his lips, his voice trembled at the end. The feelings he had harbored for years were too overwhelming to be contained in a single sentence.He didn’t know how this confession would be received, but it didn’t matter now. These emotions would soon fade into memories.“But I’m going to stop liking you now.”The weather that had been cool in the mornings and evenings now unmistakably smelled like summer. As June arrived, temperatures rose sharply, and the once-blooming cherry blossoms were replaced by lush greenery. As more students began wearing short sleeves, Seungjoo also found himself leaving his jacket behind more often.At the same time, another thing loomed closer at the university Seungjoo attended: final exams. A necessary step toward summer vacation and a source of dread for most students. The exams, arriving right after the festival, made even the diligent Seungjoo groan.Some subjects had been replaced by assignments, but most still required traditional exams. After struggling with group projects and briefly wishing for exams instead, Seungjoo concluded that both were equally awful after seeing the overwhelming exam material. As he had felt during the midterms, there seemed to be no middle ground with these college exams.But that wasn’t a big problem either. Being a bit busy was much better for his mental health than having too much free time. Having something to focus on was much more effective at keeping distracting thoughts at bay, even if he couldn’t help but feel unsettled during brief moments of respite.Just like now, even as he sat in a scenic café after coming out to the busy district for the first time in a while.“So, about that part earlier…”It was Saturday afternoon. The bustling area full of theaters was packed with people with various purposes. Most of them were couples out on dates, and the same was true for the café where Seungjoo was sitting.And like most of the others, a girl was sitting across from Seungjoo.“I personally liked it. It’s better to show a realistic depiction rather than a poorly done satire.”The girl sitting across from him was none other than Seohyun. Seohyun took a sip of her coffee from the glass and seemed to think for a moment, rolling her eyes. After tucking her hair behind her ear, she nodded at Seungjoo, seeking his agreement.“But it was a bit unpleasant, wasn’t it?”“Well, yeah, but…”Seungjoo glanced outside the window before turning his attention back to Seohyun. The table between them had a half-eaten cake and an open laptop. The forks resting on the plate somehow looked quite amicable, perhaps because of the atmosphere.“Making people uncomfortable was the point, so it did its job well. It’s a play meant to raise awareness, after all.”“That’s what I mean. If it were too entertaining, the message wouldn’t have come across properly. Although, it was still fun…”Seohyun seemed pleased that their opinions aligned and eagerly continued talking. Her excitement was evident, so Seungjoo nodded along without disagreeing. When he met her gaze out of habit, Seohyun cleared her throat with a cough.“Anyway, my point is…”At first glance, it might have looked like a date, but the reason they had met on this fine weekend was singular. It was to complete one of the assignments that had replaced a final exam. Finishing it up now before getting too busy with studying for other exams would make things easier later.The assignment was to watch a play related to social issues and write a review. Specifically, they were to watch it with a friend and then debate different opinions. Since Jinwoo and Seohyun were taking the same class, the three of them had planned to watch a play together over the weekend.‘…He said he can’t come?’However, on the day of the plan, just five minutes before the scheduled time, Seungjoo received disappointing news as he arrived at the theater. “I don’t think I can make it, I’m sick ㅠㅠ” was the message Jinwoo sent. It was a sudden message for both Seungjoo, who had arrived early and was waiting, and Seohyun, who had arrived just in time.‘I should have known when I couldn’t reach him…’Seungjoo realized the issue when Jinwoo, usually the loudest, was unusually quiet. He absentmindedly assumed Jinwoo would arrive on time without checking in. Seungjoo frowned as he texted back to ask what was wrong, and Seohyun’s eyes widened as she asked.‘Why? What happened?’‘He seems sick. He just woke up, I guess.’‘Oh no… Is he very sick?’Seungjoo showed Seohyun the message from Jinwoo, which explained that it was just a mild stomach bug and nothing serious. Seohyun fell silent for a moment before awkwardly glancing around.‘So, what do we do? Should we reschedule?’‘No, well…’Since it was an individual assignment, it didn’t really matter if Jinwoo came or not. The only person it affected was Jinwoo, who would miss the play. Knowing that Jinwoo didn’t have a debate partner would be problematic, but he sent a message saying not to worry about him and to enjoy the play without him.‘Let’s just watch it together. It can’t be helped.’‘…Just the two of us?’Seohyun’s expression grew subtle at Seungjoo’s casual suggestion. She avoided his gaze and frowned slightly as if she was uncomfortable. Seungjoo was about to suggest postponing if she was uncomfortable, but to his surprise, Seohyun agreed readily.‘Okay, let’s do that.’So, the two of them watched the play and then headed to a nearby café. They planned to quickly organize their thoughts and even finish the debate while they were at it. They also left a message for Jinwoo, wishing him a speedy recovery and saying they’d see him on Monday.“We’re pretty much done, right?”“Yeah, if anything’s missing, we can finish it up at school later.”Thanks to their focus on the debate without getting distracted, they finished the assignment quickly. Seungjoo nodded in agreement and saved the file under the subject name and his student number. He even backed it up in another location just in case before asking Seohyun for a small favor.“Also, send me the photos we took.”To prove they had actually watched the play, they needed to attach a picture with the poster as evidence. That’s why the two of them had taken a quick selfie with the poster on Seohyun’s phone after the play ended. Seohyun had offered to take photos with Seungjoo’s phone as well, but he had declined, thinking it would be a hassle and opted to take them all on her phone.“Do you want the one of us together too?”Seohyun asked playfully as she scrolled through her phone. She was likely referring to the photo of them standing together in front of the poster. A passing spectator had taken the photo, possibly mistaking them for a couple.“Do whatever you want.”Even though he didn’t particularly need the one of them together, Seungjoo responded in an indifferent tone.A little later, Seungjoo received the photos, which included not only his own but also the ones taken with Seohyun. After quickly scanning through them and saving all of them, Seungjoo closed his laptop and asked, “What do you want to do for dinner?”“Uh… Do you have any plans?” Seohyun asked.“Nope. I didn’t make any since I didn’t know when we’d finish the assignment.”The play had started at 1 PM and lasted a full three hours. From the moment they made the plans until now, Seungjoo had anticipated that they’d end up having dinner together. Of course, if Seohyun had other plans, he wasn’t going to insist.“If you have something to do, just go ahead,” Seungjoo added.“No, I don’t have anything either,” Seohyun replied, quickly shaking her head and closing her laptop. She mentioned a restaurant nearby that she wanted to try and asked if Seungjoo had any dietary restrictions. Seungjoo responded that he didn’t mind, then stood up, gathering their cups and tray.When they stepped outside the café, the streets were still bustling with people. Despite it being dinner time, the sky remained a bright blue, thanks to the longer summer days.“Hey,” Seohyun started tentatively as she followed close behind Seungjoo. He adjusted his bag on the opposite shoulder and glanced down at her sideways. Seohyun, walking right next to him, hesitated slightly before speaking.“Um, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but… what’s been going on with you lately?”“What do you mean?”It was a sudden question, and Seungjoo naturally reacted with confusion. Seohyun squinted awkwardly and elaborated.“You’ve seemed down lately, but today you look a bit better.”“…”Seungjoo wanted to deny it but couldn’t bring himself to do so. She was basically asking if his mood had improved, noticing the difference. It wasn’t surprising that Seohyun had finally asked, but it was a bit surprising that she still didn’t know the reason.“You didn’t hear from Choi Jinwoo?” Seungjoo asked.“Hear what?”“…Wow, I guess I misjudged him,” Seungjoo chuckled wryly, raising his eyebrows. He had assumed that Jinwoo would have spilled the beans to everyone, but it seemed he wasn’t as loose-lipped as Seungjoo had thought.Sorry, Choi Jinwoo. Seungjoo thought without much remorse, opening up slowly.“It’s nothing much, just…”He wasn’t the type to share personal stories, but once he had told someone, it was easier the second time. Maybe it was because he was feeling stifled and wanted to talk, or maybe because talking actually lightened his mood a bit.And more importantly, without saying it out loud, all those events felt too surreal.“I got rejected by someone I like.”‘I like you, hyung.’Had it already been over two weeks since he confessed? Under the moonlit night sky, in front of two identical gates, in the spot where they had shared their first kiss, Seungjoo confessed to Muheun. Not only did he confess, but he also decided to give up all at once.‘But I’m going to stop liking you now.’‘…’Amusingly, Muheun’s expression immediately stiffened at those words. In the moment that his usually composed face cracked, the hand that had been holding onto Seungjoo’s collar slowly slipped away.By the time the fabric had completely left his grasp, Seungjoo let out a short laugh, dropping his arm to his side.‘I’m going now.’With that, Seungjoo turned away from Muheun and walked through the gate. Muheun couldn’t stop him and stood there for a long time, as if rooted to the spot. The last thing Seungjoo saw was Muheun’s face, looking as if he’d been hit over the head, completely shocked.“So yeah, I’ve been feeling down because of that…”That should do it, right? To be honest, Seungjoo thought he could be satisfied with that. It was just once, but he had managed to shake Muheun. He didn’t know exactly what kind of emotion it was, but that fleeting moment had definitely been a feeling of regret.He admitted it—he had used the excuse of being drunk to vent his frustrations through a confession. The wish he had in that moment was simply to show his resolve.“I’m okay now.”Since then, nothing had changed between them. It was so normal that Seungjoo almost dismissed that night as a dream. Muheun still took charge of Seungjoo’s commute as usual, and Seungjoo interacted with him without being conscious of his own confession.Even that morning was the same. When Seungjoo mentioned he had plans for the weekend, Muheun, without a word, came to pick him up and dropped him off near the theater. He asked who Seungjoo was meeting, but it was just a routine check as a guardian. He would probably call later and appear again, casually offering to take him home.“…”After the conversation ended, Seohyun just looked up at Seungjoo without saying anything. She didn’t offer any comfort nor pry further, leaving Seungjoo to wonder if he had made her uncomfortable by suddenly bringing up such a personal story. Then, Seohyun quietly asked, “…What did you like so much about that person?”It wasn’t a question about whether he had someone he liked or how he got rejected. The question was so unexpected that no one had ever asked it before. Naturally, Seungjoo let out a small laugh, finding it absurd.“Don’t people usually ask why you got rejected?”“If I knew why, I wouldn’t have gotten rejected. He’s the one who rejected you, so what’s the point of asking you?”It was an uncharacteristically sharp assessment. Although Seungjoo knew exactly why Muheun rejected him, instead of explaining, he just shrugged lightly.“It just happened.”It just happened. That was the only way to explain it. He had liked Muheun, who had been by his side since birth, who cared for him so deeply that it could have made him arrogant, whose unconditional affection was so sweet that it was impossible not to fall for him.“There’s no reason for liking someone.”Before he even had time to consider that Muheun was a man, Seungjoo had already fallen for him. All the countless reasons were just excuses to convince himself. Maybe there had been a reason in the beginning, but now that he couldn’t remember how it all started, it didn’t really matter anymore.“…That’s true.”Seohyun agreed in a small voice, awkwardly averting her gaze. She was a head shorter than Seungjoo, so when she lowered her head, her expression was hard to see. After a moment, Seohyun lifted her head and looked at Seungjoo again.“So, have you gotten over it?”“…”Seungjoo couldn’t answer that question. Whether he said yes or no, there were too many things that didn’t sit right. So he just let his throat tighten without saying anything, and Seohyun seemed to understand his answer from his silence.“Seungjoo, you’re a bit of a romantic.”“…What are you talking about?”Seungjoo let out a scoff, dismissing the comment. Romantic? That wasn’t a word that suited him. It was more fitting for someone like Kim Muryeong or Ki Hwanyoung.That was the end of the conversation about him. Seohyun naturally changed the subject, talking about trivial things, and Seungjoo responded appropriately, slowing his pace to match hers.Someone was watching the two of them from a distance.* * *After dinner, Seungjoo walked Seohyun to the bus stop. When Seohyun asked how he would get home, Seungjoo replied that someone would be picking him up. Seohyun, with a somewhat ambiguous expression, got on the arriving bus, glancing back at Seungjoo a couple more times.Seungjoo knew he should contact Muheun immediately, but instead, he lingered at the bus stop, absentmindedly fiddling with the talisman and recalling what Muheun had said that morning.“Call me when you finish up with your friend.”“…”“I’ll be waiting nearby.”How close could he be? Didn’t he get tired of following his younger brother around even on weekends? Though Muheun had spoken so casually, Seungjoo couldn’t help but feel both guilt and discomfort.If only his spiritual vision had closed off, things would be easier. Unfortunately, the vision that had opened during the full moon still hadn’t shut. As Muheun had mentioned, it seemed like it would stay open for about a month.“Once it closes, what will you do…?”He said he would keep his distance, so would he stop coming to pick him up? Or would he continue as is, just being careful to avoid any situations that might reopen the vision?Whatever Muheun’s plan, Seungjoo had already decided to ask for a bodyguard and a driver once this was over. When he was younger, there had been several attempts by his family to assign him someone for protection, but Seungjoo had stubbornly refused, finding it embarrassing.Well, it wasn’t really something he could refuse now just because it was embarrassing.“…”With a sigh, Seungjoo put his hand in the opposite pocket, the one without the talisman. It was about time to make the call and let Muheun know he was waiting at the bus stop.“…?”But there was nothing in the pocket where his phone should have been. He quickly checked his pants pockets and even his bag, but all he found was his laptop and wallet.“…Damn it.”Muttering a curse under his breath didn’t change anything. Nothing seemed to be going right. He must have left his phone behind when he picked up the bill after dinner.“Get your head on straight…”Normally, Seungjoo wasn’t the type to forget things, but lately, he had been unusually scatterbrained. He was sure he made a mistake earlier while eating pasta because he had been reminded of the dish Muheun once made for him.Clicking his tongue in frustration, Seungjoo glanced around. It wasn’t too dark yet, and there were still plenty of people on the street. The restaurant was just on the other side of a park, so it wasn’t really a big deal.“…”Still, he felt an inexplicable unease. What bothered him was the idea of walking through the park alone. When he walked with Seohyun, it didn’t bother him, but now the artificially created nature reminded him of the lake on their school grounds.‘Did they take care of that goldfish situation…?’Although he hadn’t seen the sealing process himself, Muheun probably handled it. Seungjoo didn’t know exactly what the process entailed, but he did know that when he almost fell into the water, the job was nearly done. Since Muheun said it was sealed, Seungjoo figured there was nothing more for him to worry about.But what about the aftermath? Despite knowing it was the best course of action, he kept thinking about what had happened that day. The scenes he saw underwater, the words the goldfish spoke, and the emotions he felt.It was as if he had been entranced by the spirit.“…Excuse me.”Realizing this, Seungjoo immediately approached a person nearby. The man with earbuds in turned to Seungjoo and said, “Yes?” Seungjoo really didn’t want to do this, but he had no interest in getting involved in another dangerous situation.“I lost my phone. Could I borrow yours to make a quick call?”* * *Damn Kim Muheun.Seungjoo walked quickly with his hands in his pockets. The park, bathed in the dimming twilight, stretched out before him in shades of blue. The view that had made Seohyun exclaim how beautiful it was now only looked unsettling to Seungjoo.“Ah, why isn’t he picking up…?”The reason Seungjoo was now cutting through the park was simple: Muheun wasn’t answering his phone. After getting the okay from the phone’s owner, he tried calling again, but the result was the same.“…Maybe he’s not picking up because it’s an unknown number?”Muheun wasn’t usually that picky. In fact, he seemed to answer his personal phone without even checking who was calling. Since Seungjoo was supposed to contact him in the evening, Muheun was probably waiting for his call.Feeling that any more delay would leave him in the dark, Seungjoo decided to just go back and retrieve his phone. After returning the phone and thanking the man, he started walking toward the park.“Spirits like that aren’t common…”Seungjoo knew he was being overly cautious. As far as he knew, spirits like that were so rare that even skilled exorcists had to search for days to find one. They didn’t appear in crowded places, and they certainly didn’t emerge just because a park was built.But what did that matter? Seungjoo had already encountered a spirit near him once—first on the mountain behind his home, then again at school. And now he had a bad feeling that this park might be the third time.Trying to shake off the ominous thoughts, Seungjoo tightly gripped the talisman in his pocket. The talisman, written by Muryeong, was meant to ward off evil spirits, so it probably wouldn’t work against the one he feared now. But the fact that he felt the need to hold onto it showed just how anxious he was.‘…Wait, didn’t it not work on that evil spirit either?’That fleeting thought quickly faded. As Seungjoo hurried his steps, he suddenly sensed something odd. Despite the many people around and the sun setting into the horizon, something felt off.“…”There was a scent in the air. It was a sweet smell, like flowers or food—something so dense and pervasive that it was impossible to ignore. It was a scent Seungjoo had encountered several times before.“…Ah.”The sense of danger was fleeting. As his mind grew hazy, Seungjoo instinctively began following the scent. His face went blank, his eyes blinking slowly as he took deep breaths that filled his lungs.“…”Realizing you’re being entranced is impossible when you’re already under the spell.As Seungjoo stumbled forward, he failed to notice that everyone around him had disappeared. He walked past a sign that read “No Entry,” stepping between the trees, driven by the intoxicating scent and an overwhelming urge.‘I have to help…’Responsibility and a sense of duty. He had never felt these emotions so strongly before.Almost running now, Seungjoo’s breath came in short gasps, though the effort wasn’t strenuous. It felt like there wasn’t enough oxygen, and his mind was starting to flash strange images.Seungjoo.The voice calling his name from afar sounded like a plea for help. Feeling his insides burn with urgency, Seungjoo quickened his pace, moving forward with the reckless abandon of a moth drawn to a flame.Seo Seungjoo.Whose voice was that? The familiar name was becoming increasingly foreign. It kept repeating his name, but now, he couldn’t even recognize it as a name. The voice, once clear, grew more muffled as the distance closed.And then, as the voice turned into a beastly howl—“…”If he was going to be entranced, he wished he could stay that way to the end. Why was it that, in the very moment of confrontation, he always snapped back to his senses?‘…What is that?’It was a sparrow almost as big as Seungjoo’s head. The tiny shape was certainly that of a sparrow, but the appearance, smeared with thick, black soot, made it look anything but ordinary. Like the wild boar he once saw or the goldfish he encountered at the lake, its eerie, shadow-covered form sent chills down his spine.“…”Seungjoo inhaled sharply and froze in place. Whether it was fortunate or not, the sparrow hadn’t noticed him. It merely tilted its head curiously and darted around the area.It was at that moment, just as Seungjoo was about to cautiously step back.“…!”A large hand suddenly clamped over Seungjoo’s mouth from behind. Reflexively, Seungjoo tried to break free, but the strong grip pulled him back, causing him to almost stumble behind a tree. As he fell back against someone’s chest, he shuddered, his body freezing in shock at the cold, ominous energy emanating from them.‘This feeling…’He didn’t bother to pry the hand away from his mouth. He could have bitten it to force them to let go, but he didn’t want to make any noise with the spirit so close by. Instead, he simply raised his gaze to the face slightly above his own.“…”“…”The first thing he saw was the brim of a hat sticking out. Then, long eyelashes came into view, followed by a pair of startled eyes looking down at him. The face, still strikingly pale, was as expressionless as a robot, giving off an emotionless, almost cold, aura.And then, a low, calm voice spoke.“…How did you find that?”It was Gwangsik.The chapters have been revised, edited, and compressed, and the complete main story has been released for free, as I’m concerned it might be taken down or worse. I didn’t want to disappoint the readers, so I apologize for any inconvenience, and I hope you enjoy reading the complete story! The side stories will be coming soon, so don't worry~


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