The Night Of The Untraced

He knew it was nothing more than a temporary solution. Changing a predetermined future wasn’t easy, and one wrong move could lead to an even worse outcome. If the person involved had not been Seungjoo but someone else, Muheun would have pretended not to notice.However, Muheun didn’t want to face the harsh reality again. He didn’t want to feel the sense of defeat that came from seeing his helpless self, like the day he had to let Seunghee go. If he did nothing, he would surely regret it someday.Even if this choice leads in an unwanted direction.‘Do you know an exorcist about this tall?’When Seungjoo handed over a note with coordinates, Muheun felt only two things. One was caution toward this unknown exorcist, and the other was relief toward Seungjoo, who was looking at him earnestly. The crumpled note showed how little interest Seungjoo had in the other person.‘He didn’t even plan to meet them, did he?’‘Of course not.’Muheun found Seungjoo’s bold reply endearing. Having grown up overprotected by both families, Seungjoo had become a cautious person who seldom acted recklessly. Even if a stranger sweet-talked him, Seungjoo would probably only half-listen and then quickly report it.This crumpled note was likely something he’d briefly glanced at and stuffed into his pocket. The fact that he hadn’t thrown it away… well, maybe there wasn’t a trash can nearby or something. While Muheun tended to worry about everything, he fully trusted Seungjoo in matters like these.‘I’ll go check who it is.’Muheun could already guess what was going on. It was highly likely that someone wanted to connect themselves to Seungjoo, the only heir to the Seo family. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that more than half the exorcists in the association harbored such desires.It didn’t seem dangerous to Muheun. While he didn’t plan to ignore the situation, he was confident he could find the culprit and persuade them to give up. He had, after all, personally driven away several people who had tried to approach Seungjoo before.That night, Muheun went to the location written on the note instead of Seungjoo. He tried to stay hidden and observe the person, but unfortunately, no one appeared even as it grew late. He assumed the other person was also hiding somewhere, waiting for Seungjoo to show up.If they were cautious, finding them would be difficult. While he could track their spiritual energy, doing so might make them disappear for good.However, the next day, Muheun was able to discover the person’s identity. It was thanks to a casual remark from Seungjoo, who mentioned that the exorcist had come back and told him what they talked about.‘He called you ‘Team Leader Kim Muheun.”Someone who would call him a team leader. Tall, wearing a hat, pale, and a good-looking ghost hunter.‘I know who it is.’It was Yeonho. No wonder Muheun hadn’t felt any danger. If it was that guy, it made sense.‘Well… he’s not a bad guy.’Muheun couldn’t say much more to Seungjoo, even though he didn’t know how Seungjoo would take it. Although Yeonho could be a bit eccentric at times, he wasn’t inherently malicious. Muheun wasn’t sure why Yeonho thought he was the culprit behind the incidents happening in the association, but it probably wasn’t because he was after Seungjoo’s family background.‘I’ll tell him not to come looking for you anymore.’Still, business was business. Regardless of the reason, Muheun couldn’t let someone approach Seungjoo so easily. Now that Seungjoo’s spiritual vision had closed, there would be fewer dangerous situations, and Muheun didn’t want him getting involved in anything unnecessary.He would have to say something once he returned to the association. While Muheun was thinking about this, Seungjoo brought up something unpleasant.‘…That thing I mentioned before.’‘….’‘About whether I could help.’Sometimes, Muheun thought Seungjoo didn’t understand his anxiety at all. Seungjoo might think he was all grown up now, but to Muheun, he still felt like a child who needed to be protected. Yet here he was, trying to help Muheun with a concerned look.‘I’ve kissed you twice already; why not a third time?’‘….’Muheun knew it was Seungjoo’s choice who he wanted to help. Seungjoo was an adult now, and it had been quite a while since he had stepped out of the family’s shadow. Muheun had to respect him as an adult, but the thought of dragging him into this still felt unbearable.‘If I think you’re in danger, I won’t let you help anyone. Even if that person is me.’Perhaps it was because he had been meeting Seungjoo more frequently. In that moment, he saw another vision related to him. Under a rainy sky, Seungjoo was holding an umbrella and staring at something. In front of him stood a blood-drenched evil spirit, and Seungjoo’s face was frozen with fear, anyone could tell he was terrified.He knew instinctively. This was a future that would be realized the moment Seungjoo’s spiritual vision opened again. He also knew that if he kissed him now, an irreversible accident would occur.‘Take care on your way back.’Muheun turned away, pretending not to notice Seungjoo’s disappointed gaze. He had plenty of lingering feelings, but he couldn’t show them. It was better to be hated than to see Seungjoo get hurt, so he had no choice but to coldly refuse, even if it meant acting like an indifferent older brother.That was the end of their walks home together. After that day, Muheun no longer went to pick up Seungjoo. Though he felt emptiness, even physical discomfort, from the habit he’d formed, he had long since mastered the art of suppressing his longing.‘…You’re saying you’re going to be with him for a while?’Instead, Muheun started sticking close to Yeonho, accompanying him everywhere. The reason was simple: rather than telling Yeonho not to approach Seungjoo, it was more effective to just take away any opportunity for him to do so. Sure, Yeonho might listen to his words, but since Yeonho believed Muheun was the culprit, speaking to him directly could provoke rebellion. It was better to feign ignorance and subtly probe for Yeonho’s intentions.As a result, in just a few days, Muheun was able to gather a lot of information from Yeonho. Yeonho was dissatisfied with the association’s system, he was wary of Muheun but didn’t dislike him, and his ultimate goal was to overhaul the association’s leadership.‘Are you trying to start a revolution?’When Muheun asked, Yeonho looked at him as if he didn’t understand the question. Yeonho had always lacked common sense, so Muheun rephrased it in simpler terms.‘I’m asking if you want to bring down the association.’It was quite an ambitious plan, wasn’t it? Muheun himself wasn’t satisfied with the association’s system, but he didn’t have the passion to overturn it. Even though he knew his workload was excessive, he obediently followed orders because it was less bothersome than causing trouble. It was easier to be used than to create unnecessary complications.But that mindset flipped almost overnight. On a day when Muheun’s fatigue had reached its peak, Yoonhee suddenly appeared and said something to him that completely changed his perspective.‘Kim Muheun, come with me somewhere.’Yoonhee, who usually operated solo, oddly asked for Muheun’s help in setting up a barrier. She mentioned that a ghost whose seal had been broken was wandering, and its range of activity was unusually wide. She insisted that Muheun’s assistance was crucial for this task. At first glance, it seemed like a natural request, but the fact that it came from Yoonhee made it suspicious enough.It wasn’t just anyone asking—it was Yoonhee, the leader of Team 1. In the association, the smaller the team number, the higher the rank, and team leaders were essentially in upper management. While Muheun was much better at setting up barriers, it wasn’t something Yoonhee couldn’t handle on his own.Though suspicious, Muheun followed Yoonhee to the mountain. He concluded that whatever Yoonhee’s intentions were, it wasn’t meant to harm him.And there, Muheun coincidentally encountered Seungjoo, who had come for a retreat.‘Has the young master left?’It was too suspicious to be mere coincidence. When Yoonhee showed up late and asked that question, he seemed like someone who had already known Seungjoo would be there. Not only that, Yoonhee also knew that Seungjoo’s spiritual vision had reopened.‘You have something to tell me, don’t you?’‘…’Looking flustered for a moment, Yoonhee soon started speaking in his usual detached tone. The barrier was already in place, there were only the two of them, and he probably decided there was no need to pretend any longer.‘Those people are targeting the young master.’That was enough to make Muheun feel as if the world was collapsing around him. Normally composed, Muheun found it hard to suppress his rising anger at that moment.‘They probably broke the seal on purpose.’According to Yoonhee, the new faction had deliberately chosen the place where Seungjoo was staying to break the seal on the ghost. He didn’t know exactly what they were planning, but it seemed they wanted to set Seungjoo up to encounter the ghost deep in the mountains where no one else was around. Yoonhee, who hadn’t been sure of this information before, now spoke with a genuinely displeased expression.‘And they told me to keep an eye on you…’‘Who?’Who could dare order someone to spy on him? No matter how high-ranking the official, no one could treat him lightly. He wondered if he was being suspected of being part of the new faction, but Yoonhee mentioned a name that Muheun knew all too well.‘The head of the association.’‘…’Looking back, it made sense. There had been several suspicious details. The association head had ordered Muheun to clean up the situation involving the broken seal, and during his reports, he had always asked persistently about the state of the ghost but had shown no interest in the culprit.As if he already knew who it was.‘Ah…’It seems I’m the one who needs to start the revolution. Or, at this point, maybe it’s closer to a coup.There is a close relationship between the new faction and the Association Chairman. Whether it’s a cooperative relationship, a dominant-submissive one, or a competitive one remains unclear. Regardless, Muheun judged that the first scenario—cooperation—was the most likely. He also realized that they were using him for their own ends.‘…Being used isn’t too difficult,’ Muheun thought.But he drew the line at involving Seungjoo. It was one thing for Muheun to play along, but it was different when they started dragging Seungjoo into the mess.Muheun decided to first get to the bottom of the situation. Even though his anger was boiling over, it was crucial to stay calm at moments like this. Acting rashly could jeopardize everything he had worked so hard to protect. His plan was to uncover the truth as quickly and safely as possible, without the Chairman’s knowledge, and then set things right.He didn’t even have time to retrieve the phone he had given Seungjoo when they met in the mountains. The full moon was coming soon, and there was much to do before then. In addition to his assigned tasks and missions from the Chairman, Muheun had to cut down on his sleep to dig deeper into the new faction’s movements.Fortunately, Muheun had skilled informants, and it wasn’t long before he got hold of some of the information he sought. For instance, the faction had discovered Seungjoo’s ability to see spirits by watching Muheun. While their ultimate goal remained unclear, it was evident they wanted to make contact with Seungjoo.‘They’re probably after power,’ Yoonhee speculated, but Muheun wasn’t fully convinced. There were too many pieces that didn’t quite fit for it to be just about power.It wasn’t simply because the Chairman held the highest position within the exorcism organization. There were plenty of other senior Chiefs in the Association, and several neutral families were wary of the Chairman’s increasing power—like Muheun’s mother, who, after retiring, was no longer affiliated with any organization.Yoonhee’s theory wasn’t implausible, but Muheun couldn’t find a connection between ‘gaining power’ and ‘making Seungjoo face the Gwimae.’‘Apparently, the lab is short on spirit energy again.’As Muheun continued his investigation, something suspicious came to light from an unexpected source—the lab’s spirit energy supply was depleting unusually quickly. Recently, the Association had been researching ways to condense spirit energy into consumable forms for exorcists with dwindling energy levels. They were even considering turning it into something like pills or injections, or eventually even snackable forms. However, due to the current lack of samples, it remained only a concept for now.In any case, the lab needed spirit energy for its research. To meet this demand, the Association had been collecting spirit energy from its members, but since few had any to spare after a day’s work, Muheun was often the primary donor.Yet, even though Muheun had contributed large amounts of energy, the output seemed suspiciously low.‘It looks like someone’s been siphoning it off to an external source.’As expected, Muheun’s informants confirmed his suspicions. One of the Association’s senior Chiefs had been diverting about a third of Muheun’s donated spirit energy outside of the organization.Upon learning this, Muheun immediately sought out the Chief responsible. There was no need to hold back, as this was a blatant act of corruption. For a brief moment, Muheun considered reporting it to the Chairman but decided to wait until he had all the facts.‘Team Leader Kim Muheun, let’s at least have a cup of tea first…’The Chief, who had a particularly frail appearance, was sweating profusely, unable to conceal his panic. At first, he feigned ignorance, but when it became clear that Muheun wasn’t going to back down, he started making excuses, claiming that he hadn’t abused the energy but had been forced into the situation. Finally, he broke down and confessed the truth.‘Listen, I didn’t do it on purpose…’According to the Chief, he had received an anonymous letter one day offering to purchase Muheun’s spirit energy for a staggering sum of money. He claimed that while he had wanted to refuse, his child’s medical bills were overwhelming, so he had no choice but to comply.‘You understand, don’t you? My child has been sick lately. I couldn’t say no.’The Chief’s face was a mixture of fear and guilt as he tried to justify his actions. He added that since exorcists’ spirit energy was precious, it couldn’t have been used for anything bad. Perhaps, he suggested, the buyer had been in desperate need of it too. These were all just rationalizations, but before Muheun could even respond, his vision became blurry.‘…’In his foggy vision, a familiar scene appeared. It was the same image he had seen before: Seungjoo confronting the demon. A rainy residential area, Seungjoo holding an umbrella, his terrified face, and the demon slowly approaching him.‘…Team Leader Kim Muheun?’As Muheun’s vision returned to normal, he found himself staring out the window. The rain, which he hadn’t noticed until now, tapped lightly against the transparent glass. Seeing the rain trickle down the window, a bolt of realization struck him like lightning.‘…Ah.’There are moments when you just know the future you’re seeing is already unfolding as reality, with no uncertainty left. Unlike the unclear moments of the past, this time Muheun instinctively felt that the future he saw was already a fact.Seungjoo was in danger.His body moved faster than his thoughts. Bursting out of the office, Muheun jumped into his car and sped toward the location he had seen in his vision. Having already confirmed it twice, it wasn’t difficult to figure out where Seungjoo was.‘…!’When Muheun arrived, Seungjoo was indeed facing off against the demon. The demon, dripping with blood, exuded the eerie, ominous energy typical of a long-dead soul. Without hesitation, Muheun jumped out of the car, not even bothering to use an umbrella, and aimed his arrow at the demon.With a sharp sound, the arrow pierced the demon’s head, and it disintegrated into blue ashes.Since Seungjoo’s newly opened spiritual sight didn’t give him any real powers, the blood spilled by the demon passed right through him, falling to the ground. This meant that the demon hadn’t been able to physically harm Seungjoo either, but that didn’t mean he was safe. There were many ways a demon could kill without direct contact. Seunghui and Seungtae had also been unable to touch the demon, yet they still died in accidents.The thought that the worst could have happened was overwhelming.‘Seungjoo.’Muheun pulled him into an embrace, not just to comfort Seungjoo but also to reassure himself. Every time he cradled Seungjoo’s head and held him close, Muheun felt relieved, reassured that he hadn’t lost him. It was his way of confirming that Seungjoo, alive and breathing, was still by his side.‘Close your eyes and count to ten.’Muheun finished off the demon with his sword. As he held Seungjoo in his arms, he sensed a familiar energy—the same artificially processed spirit energy they had been researching in the lab. He didn’t know when, where, or how it happened, but it was clear that someone had injected Seungjoo with the spirit energy Muheun had donated.Afterward, Muheun took Seungjoo back to his apartment. He didn’t take him home right away because he wanted to savor the relief of knowing Seungjoo was safe for a little longer. Though he had work to do that night, Muheun didn’t feel like dealing with any of it.‘I’m sorry, I was too late, wasn’t I?’Perhaps the encounter with the demon had been too traumatic for Seungjoo. He rarely had nightmares, but when he fell asleep, his face turned pale as he tossed and turned, sweating in fear. Seeing him suffer like that broke Muheun’s heart.‘Want to get a piercing?’Muheun asked, recalling an old joke Seunghui had once made. She had teased him about the meaning behind getting a single piercing, saying it was a little silly but romantic.‘Not here… on the right side.’The left side was for the protector, while the right side was for the one being protected. Back then, Muheun had laughed it off, dismissing it as nonsense. But now, in this situation, he found himself grasping at even the silliest superstition for comfort.‘I’m not doing that kind of thing.’Seungjoo rejected Muheun’s suggestion with a nonchalant expression. Of course, Muheun hadn’t been entirely serious either. Piercing a hole in one’s flesh—that’s essentially just causing another wound. Even if Seungjoo had agreed, Muheun would have firmly stopped him.‘…Stop touching me and just sleep.’Maybe it was because Muheun had been fidgeting too much, driven by his anxious mood, but just before falling asleep, there was a small problem. Seungjoo, who had been squirming in his embrace, became flustered and blushed red at the nape of his neck. While Muheun’s touch had been without ulterior motive, as soon as he realized Seungjoo was halfway aroused, he too couldn’t help but feel something stir inside him.‘Want me to help you?’‘Are you crazy? What are you saying!’While Seungjoo had once begged for it when drunk, now he harshly rejected Muheun and hurried off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Faint cursing could be heard through the closed door.‘You’re out of your mind…’Yeah, out of my mind, all right. If Seungjoo had said yes, what would he have done with him? On nights like this, when his self-control was barely hanging on, even Muheun wasn’t sure what he might end up doing.Muheun deliberately tried to fall asleep before Seungjoo returned. He knew that if Seungjoo lay next to him again, he wouldn’t be able to resist the urges rising within him. Perhaps from having pushed himself too much lately, his tired body quickly fell into a deep sleep.The next day, the story Seungjoo shared with Muheun was something Muheun had already suspected. For some unknown reason, a group was targeting Seungjoo, seemingly trying to awaken his spiritual sight. It was odd behavior for anyone seeking power and something no one should dare to do to the heir of the Seo family.A new possibility arose—perhaps this group wasn’t part of the association after all. Since a leader had siphoned off spiritual energy to an ‘external’ source, it was best to keep all options open. Still, the mention of an external source might be a trap in itself.‘It’s okay.’‘…’‘I’ll protect you.’But those words must have hit a sore spot for Seungjoo. His expression hardened instantly, and he firmly drew a line, saying there was no need. While Muheun couldn’t fully grasp Seungjoo’s complicated feelings, he could painfully sense that Seungjoo was trying to distance himself.‘It’s my problem, so I’ll take care of it.’Perhaps to put those words into action, on Monday after school, Seungjoo left a message for Muheun, saying he’d be going home with Hwanyeong—a statement that the old Seungjoo would never have made. Since when had he gotten so close to him? Muheun, wondering as much, called, but Seungjoo didn’t pick up.Should I call again? Or maybe go to Muryeong’s place? Muheun debated with his phone in hand when suddenly, a call came in from Muryeong.‘Hey, he just left with Hwanyeong.’True to form, the unnecessarily diligent Seungjoo seemed determined to keep his promise not to go anywhere alone. He must be getting close to Hwanyeong now. Muheun let out a baffled laugh, and the quiet voice on the other end of the line spoke again.‘And Seungjoo told me…’Muryeong asked how dangerous the group targeting Seungjoo was. He wanted to know exactly what was happening and what he could do. After asking about the general situation, Muryeong calmly added in his characteristic way:‘If I were Seungjoo, I’d feel guilty too. I’d hate it.’It was a cautious yet somehow firm statement. Having been friends with Seungjoo for a long time, Muryeong likely understood his feelings to some extent.‘You know Seungjoo’s personality, right? Just imagine how trapped he must feel to act like this.’Muheun knew. Seungjoo wasn’t the type to stubbornly hold onto things without reason. If he had gone so far as to say ‘no,’ it meant Muheun’s explanation had been severely lacking.‘Sometimes secrets are necessary, but… if you don’t say it, the other person won’t know.’Muryeong said that expecting someone to understand without sharing your thoughts was a selfish wish. No matter what Muheun was thinking, Seungjoo wouldn’t be able to know unless he was told. Muryeong also pointed out that Seungjoo would only feel more rebellious if Muheun kept trying to keep him close out of worry.‘Covering things up isn’t always the best way to protect someone.’‘…Yeah, you’re right.’When had these youngest siblings, who used to cling to their baby bottles, grown up so much? Despite being lectured by someone ten years his junior, Muheun didn’t feel bad. However, his mood did sour when he heard what came next.‘Stop trying to carry everything on your own.’Everyone seemed to point out Muheun’s abnormal sense of responsibility, but he couldn’t shake it off. Even though he knew he couldn’t protect Seungjoo perfectly, he felt a compulsion to keep him in his sight, no matter what.Hiring bodyguards had proven useless. Even on the day when Seunghee and Seungtae passed away, there were guards nearby. The only reliable exorcists were his own family members, and if a close one had to protect Seungjoo, wasn’t he the best option?Yeah, just until this case is solved. It would be nice if I could stay by his side until I can be certain he’s safe.‘My spiritual sight is gone.’However, contrary to Muheun’s wishes, Seungjoo soon brought things to an end. Looking at Muheun with calm eyes, with not a hint of regret, he delivered his final conclusion.‘You don’t need to see me off anymore.’‘…’That statement couldn’t even be compared to the vague farewell Seungjoo had said earlier that morning. It wasn’t a ‘take care’ or ‘be safe,’ but a clear rejection that they no longer needed to be together.‘So don’t come anymore.’Had Muheun ever heard such words before? Even when he visited the Seo family home after a long absence, Seungjoo would joke about him coming back, but he’d never outright said not to come. Before he could even feel hurt by the stern tone, the image of Seungjoo turning his back stuck deeply in Muheun’s mind.‘I’m leaving.’The feeling that ran down his spine was not sadness but a sense of impending crisis. His instincts told him that this really was the end, that Seungjoo wouldn’t look back in any sense.‘…Ah.’The future Muheun saw was often brutal, and it didn’t pull any punches even in moments like this. It was as if he could see Seungjoo collapse, coughing up blood, right before his unfocused eyes. The sight of bright red blood spilling out blurred Muheun’s rational mind.‘What are you…’He wouldn’t make excuses. The reason he kissed Seungjoo wasn’t solely because of the vision of the future. His desire to hold onto Seungjoo, to breathe spiritual energy into him, came from a selfish wish not to lose him in that moment.‘Are you crazy?’This time, Seungjoo was genuinely angry. The loud cursing that echoed after he disappeared beyond the front gate wasn’t just about the kiss itself. It was likely because of Muheun’s selfishness—deciding on his own, without giving Seungjoo any say.After that, Seungjoo’s subtle rebellion began. Sometimes he avoided Muheun, other times he would disappear after giving only his destination, leaving Muheun waiting by the front gate. Still, Seungjoo would always come back before sunset, showing that old Seungjoo wasn’t gone entirely—it was almost endearing how timid his rebellion was.Well, it didn’t matter either way. Muheun was certain that, in the end, Seungjoo would forgive him. He might be upset, but he wouldn’t truly hate him. He might try to distance himself, but he’d never completely sever their connection. Even if the process was… no, very painful.‘Can you do a fortune reading for me?’After days of silence, Seungjoo finally spoke to Muheun, giving him a completely unfamiliar birth date and asking for a fortune reading. It wasn’t a difficult request, and if it was from Seungjoo, Muheun was more than willing to fulfill even the hardest requests.The problem was that the birthdate didn’t belong to anyone.‘That Gwimae guy came looking for me again.’The owner of the absurd birthdate was none other than Yeonho. Having been too busy to deal with it, Yeonho had apparently sought out Seungjoo again. Somehow, he even seemed to think Seungjoo was part of some higher-up group, though that wasn’t the point.‘Seungjoo.’‘…’‘Did you almost die today?’Where did things go wrong? When Muheun had jokingly read Seungjoo’s fortune, there had indeed been a trace of death lingering in his fate. While many carried such signs, what mattered was that Muheun hadn’t known it until now.Muheun had always tried to free Seungjoo from the shackles of fate. He had interfered with Seungjoo’s destiny and changed the future because he didn’t want him to be in danger. Yet despite all his efforts, Seungjoo had almost lost his life again, out of Muheun’s sight.‘It’s fine. If I’m not hurt, I’m not in pain either.’Just by looking at how he walked, it was clear where and how he was hurt. There were probably small bruises hidden under his clothes too. But since he said he wasn’t in pain, unless Muheun stripped him right there, there was nothing more to say.‘If something happens to you, I’ll lose my mind.’Muheun’s stomach hurt, more than just feeling queasy, but all he could do was say those words. It wasn’t just that he’d go crazy; it would feel like he’d want to die. Just imagining it made him feel like some part of him was falling apart.Maybe because Seungjoo could feel Muheun’s emotions, he stopped running away from him. He still looked displeased, but it seemed like he didn’t want to waste his energy on pointless power struggles.‘For a while, someone else will come pick you up instead of me.’After the memorial service, Muheun couldn’t go to pick up Seungjoo for a while. He felt on edge, and that made him certain this month would be more exhausting than any before. He feared that if he wasn’t careful, he might lose control and lash out at Seungjoo. So until the full moon had passed, he decided to let his family take care of Seungjoo.‘…….’But when he returned home after stopping by the association, a familiar figure stood outside. It was unmistakably Seungjoo, standing awkwardly with his hoodie pulled low over his face. The thought that he might be seeing things only lasted a second before all the blood in Muheun’s body seemed to run cold.‘I’ll call Muryeong to come get you, so go home.’What was he doing here? Of all places, he had come here alone. Walking around alone at night was dangerous, but the real danger right now wasn’t the night— it was Muheun standing in front of him.‘I’ll go out. Stay here.’‘What? No, wait, what are you saying…’Muheun barely heard a word Seungjoo was saying. Even if he explained things later, Muheun knew he had to put distance between them right now. If he wasn’t careful, he might lose his mind, and who knew what he’d do in that state?He wouldn’t become violent, but there was no guarantee he wouldn’t touch Seungjoo either. During the full moon, when his patience was especially thin, he couldn’t trust himself to just see Seungjoo as a younger brother. Seungjoo, who hadn’t even been drinking, would be terrified if he saw Muheun like this.‘Hyung.’But Seungjoo, unaware of everything, quietly called out to Muheun, his voice soft like a whisper. No matter how firmly Muheun had made up his mind, there was no way he could walk away without hesitation when Seungjoo called for him. Whatever Seungjoo saw in Muheun’s face made his voice tremble slightly as he continued.‘I saw a ghost at school.’How should he describe the feeling he had at that moment? When Seungjoo told him that he saw something strange at the lake at school, and that it asked him for help. When Muheun realized the truth about the day Seungjoo almost drowned, a truth he had only just discovered.‘…His spiritual sight has opened.’It was guilt, really. The feeling of guilt that he had created the very situation he desperately wanted to avoid. Or perhaps it was a deep sense of emptiness and frustration, knowing that the things he thought he had kept tightly sealed were actually leaking out, slowly but surely.There was a reason Muheun only accompanied Seungjoo on his way to and from school. The dead couldn’t wander around during the daytime, when yang energy was abundant, especially in crowded places. Naturally, the chances of encountering them on a campus full of students were slim. Though he wanted to be with Seungjoo every moment, he held himself back for that reason.‘I can’t always protect you, you know.’If telling Seungjoo that he would protect him was Seungjoo’s sore spot, that one line was Muheun’s. Knowing he couldn’t protect him completely, Muheun was always anxious. Even though he believed he was making the best choices in every moment, he was terrified that a single mistake could ruin everything.‘Do you think I’m the kind of person who’ll just say ‘okay’ if you tell me to follow you around? And if something happens and you can’t come, should I just wait until you do?’It took Muheun a while to realize that Seungjoo’s frustration stemmed from his absence. Seungjoo, who rarely raised his voice, pointed out the contradiction in Muheun’s behavior in an unusually agitated tone. His bitter words cut deeply, and for some reason, everything felt so unfair that day.‘The reason…’‘…’‘Do you want to know the reason?’It was simply because he was afraid Seungjoo might get hurt. Afraid that something might go wrong, that he might lose someone precious again for no reason. He knew this was his own selfishness, but he desperately wanted to protect Seungjoo himself. The problem was that sometimes his emotions got the better of him, and impulsive actions took over his judgment.‘Do you really want to know why I told you to go home?’He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t angry, but he wouldn’t call his actions an outlet for that anger. The emotion he felt while kissing Seungjoo, sharing warmth, wasn’t rage but a sense of peace. Seungjoo’s presence absorbed the surging negative energy inside him, and halfway through, he was able to think more clearly again.‘Do you even know what I’m capable of? Just stay still.’But rationality quickly flew out the window again in a different way. Things were about to get out of control. He vaguely remembered thinking that. If Seungjoo hadn’t lost consciousness then, Muheun wasn’t sure how far things would have gone.Luckily, that night passed without any major incidents. Seungjoo fainted because he couldn’t withstand the sudden influx of spiritual energy, but there was nothing physically wrong with him. When he woke up the next day, he wasn’t even upset anymore, which made it easier for Muheun to talk to him.He felt strangely at peace. It was funny how Seungjoo had given the name ‘Go Gwangsik’ to Yeonho, and when he reassured Muheun that he wouldn’t do anything reckless, Muheun believed him. He was a little worried when Seungjoo said he wanted to help find the gwimae, but since Seungjoo promised to stay by his side, Muheun was willing to trust him.Everything seemed like it was going to work out.‘Hyung, I’ll be right back… Just wait here.’Then, without warning, disaster struck. The day they found the gwimae by the lake—a goldfish-like spirit—Muheun decided it was too dangerous for Seungjoo to approach, so he left him behind and went to finish sealing it alone.‘Seo Seungjoo!’He saw Seungjoo fall beyond the railing, and it felt like slow motion. As his blood turned cold, a scene flashed before his distant, blurred vision. It was the image of himself, utterly helpless, cradling a soaking-wet Seungjoo in his arms, unable to do anything but watch his hands go limp.‘No, no…’He didn’t even know how he managed to jump into the lake. Finishing the seal was his last rational act, and maintaining what little control he had over his crumbling judgment was his last bit of endurance. Without even waiting to see the talisman burn, Muheun turned and pulled Seungjoo out of the dark, deep lake.‘Please…’He never realized how much he would regret not having a religion. His hands trembled as he performed emergency treatment, and the thought that he had no one to pray to for Seungjoo’s safety tore him apart. As he checked Seungjoo’s pulse, half crying, he felt utterly abandoned, with no way to endure the overwhelming loneliness.‘…Cough!’Thankfully, Seungjoo soon let out a sharp cough. Muheun remembered feeling deeply relieved, watching him curl up and struggle to catch his breath. When Seungjoo’s eyes finally focused on him, Muheun had to lower his head to hold back the tears welling up inside him.He took Seungjoo straight to the emergency room. The doctors said Seungjoo was perfectly fine, and there would be no lasting effects. Even the ribs Muheun had worried about were intact, and the pain Seungjoo had felt was just muscle soreness.‘See? I told you I was fine.’Did Seungjoo even realize he almost died? Seungjoo, with a completely unbothered face, tried to reassure Muheun instead. When he noticed that Muheun still looked anxious, he added in a dry tone.‘As if I’d let you get hurt.’‘…’You got hurt because of me.Muheun couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. If Seungjoo’s spiritual sight hadn’t opened, if the negative energy hadn’t transferred to him, if Muheun hadn’t kissed him, none of this would have happened.This was the seventh time Seungjoo had almost died since his spiritual sight opened. The time he was nearly hit by a truck, the time they faced the gwimae in the mountains, the time Seungjoo said he wanted to help without knowing anything, when they encountered an evil spirit, and the two times he nearly drowned at the lake.There were probably even more minor incidents he hadn’t counted, but just thinking of the major ones, that was already seven. In less than three months, Seo Seungjoo, who had lived twenty years without trouble, had nearly died seven times. The ordinary life he was supposed to live was being shaken to its core.‘So, you’re saying this is all because of you.’In the end, Muheun couldn’t help but think that. That it was his fault, that he kept lingering around Seungjoo, causing him to face death repeatedly. Maybe none of this would have happened if he hadn’t gotten involved, if he hadn’t interfered and made things worse.‘I was too greedy.’He should have let Seungjoo go the moment he realized it was the right thing to do. How could he, knowing his place, let his feelings for Seungjoo grow so selfishly? He couldn’t shake the thought that everything he had done had ruined Seungjoo’s future.He thought about distancing himself from Seungjoo—or at least, putting his feelings aside. Seungjoo was far too precious and important to him to let himself be swayed by something as trivial as romantic feelings. Losing Seungjoo from his life was much worse than simply stepping away from his.‘Hyung.’But, Muheun had to admit, he didn’t fully understand the weight of romantic love. He had never met anyone, never gone through a breakup, so he didn’t know how heartbreaking it would be to suppress his feelings. He thought just being close to Seungjoo would be enough, but the moment Seungjoo spoke, his heart sank.‘I like you, hyung.’That was the first time Muheun truly understood the power of those words. In that moment, hearing Seungjoo express the feelings he had vaguely sensed before, Muheun realized something he had been overlooking: it wasn’t just Seungjoo’s feelings that mattered; it was the depth of his own emotions, which he had never fully faced.‘But I’m going to stop liking you now.’‘…’Since when had he liked him this much?He thought his feelings were just an extension of the affection he had for someone he cared about. Even though he had felt so many desires when looking at Seungjoo, he had always believed he could suppress them. Since his feelings stemmed from his fondness for Seungjoo, he thought he could just set them aside and go back to the way things were.‘I’m leaving.’But as he watched Seungjoo’s figure disappear behind the gate, Muheun was overwhelmed by crushing regret. He wanted to take back every word he had said, even though he knew there was no way to undo it. If he had known it would hurt this much, he never would have let it begin in the first place. He realized he had no idea how to sever the feelings that had already grown inside him.‘…Ha.’How long had he stood in front of that gate? The emptiness in his chest drained away the last bit of reality he could hold on to. He wouldn’t be unable to see Seungjoo again, but the pain was unbearable, far worse than anything he had prepared himself for.For the next two weeks, Seungjoo showed no signs of change. His face was completely devoid of lingering attachment, and he treated Muheun with an ease that was even more comfortable than before. Muheun pretended to be fine as well, staying by Seungjoo’s side, but inside, he was anything but okay.‘…’Maybe he should get another tattoo. Or maybe another piercing. If he kept himself busy enough, maybe even got hurt in the process, then maybe—just maybe—it would dull the ache in his heart.The chapters have been revised, edited, and compressed, and the complete main story has been released for free, as I’m concerned it might be taken down or worse. I didn’t want to disappoint the readers, so I apologize for any inconvenience, and I hope you enjoy reading the complete story! The side stories will be coming soon, so don't worry~