The not-immortal Blacksmith

Smithson School of Blacksmithing

7th of Kusha, the month of Harvest.

2290 Years since the New gods came.

A middle-aged man wearing a dazzling white robe walked in the front gate of the school, and Mara stared at him. The old cat with the eyepatch that always took a nap in what was undoubtably His sunbeam, opened his good eye, blinked once and went back to sleep. As she watched, the yearly pounce of kittens scampered over to, and climbed the man’s robe, seemingly demanding skritches.

The more she looked, the more of the man she noted; beard, mostly shot through with white; long dark blond hair; a little paunch in the gut; and a rich laugh as he played with the kittens and watched their antics. He was obviously a scholar, as when he moved his arms, faint ink and coffee stains were visible on the fabric. Most interestingly though, was that he was wearing boots, not sandals. Boots that were not covered in dust and road grime.

After the kittens finally wandered off, except for one on the man’s head, he looked at her. “Excuse me, young lady, I’m looking for the bear. He has a blue ribbon on his head.”

Mara gulped, “Um…There are no bears here, sir?”

“Oh. Darn.” The man replied, then turned, nodded to the tree in the center of the courtyard, and departed. As he passed the old cat, he reached up and scratched it behind the ears, eliciting a deep rumbling purr.

Mara gasped. No one gets away with petting him! Not unless he wants to be pet! He almost took the Master Smiths eye out last time! For some reason, she could swear she heard the tree laugh.

-

The Celestial Realm

“Brother Proof?” Esmerelda, the gnomish goddess of Knowledge called out. “Where are you Brother Proof? Are you cataloging the second attic again?” She opened a door at random that lead to a long flight of stairs. “BROTHER PROOF!! Get down here! There is work to do!”

She wandered around for a few more minutes, then sighed. “Blasted man. Never around when there’s work to be done.”

-

In a small boat on a lake, a man accompanied by a bear wearing a bow, were relaxing, a pair of fishing poles in hand, lines in the water. Both had bottles of some kind of beverage on hand as the bear excitedly gestured at the ever-growing dell, while telling a story.

-

Celestial Realm

Ghondish opened the smaller barn door and looked down. El Gato was back. Why the blasted cat didn’t stay away was beyond him, but these things happened. “What do you want, cat?”

“I have some information that you may be interested in. Goat.” El Gato, god of all he surveyed, replied, as he daintily cleaned his left forepaw. “May I come in?”

He’s asking permission? Ghondish stared at the cat for a moment, then gestured for him to enter. Once inside and the door closed Ghondish asked, “What is so important that you would risk one of your precious lives to come here?”

“There are three Unsanctioned heroes on the western continent of Ishta.” El Gato said, changing paws to clean. “They have already burned down a forest and killed just under two hundred innocents.”

“Unsanctioned Heroes happen occasionally.” Ghondish replied. “The death of innocents is regrettable. But the question remains, why are you Here?”

El Gato smiled, showing all of his teeth, “Because the three heroes smell like your stupid players.”

“Oh.” Ghondish said, “Oh shit.”

-

Bjorn stood in his smithy, staring at his apprentice. “What do you mean by “Diggy Diggy Hole”?!?” He shook his head. Where do the young ones come up with this kinda crap? “I’m not a miner. You want to learn how to mine, go and talk to my cousin Doran, the god of Mines.”

“Sorry master.” The apprentice, Sparns, small god of metal bits, said. “It was a catchy tune I heard down below. The College of Rio was having a music festival…”

Bjorn looked up to the ceiling, I’m starting to understand why Max calls us all idiots.

-

Narissa, head goddess of the Celestial realm stared at her half dozen subordinates. “And why did none of you bring to my attention the presence of three OVERPOWERED unsanctioned HEROES?” She took a deep breath, “AND WHY DID I HAVE TO LEARN OF THEM FROM THAT STUPID CAT?!?”

The six gods stared at each other, then locked eyes on El Gato, who was splayed out on Narissa’s desk, cleaning his unmentionables. “T…the cat said…” One of them started.

“I said nothing to you.” El Gato stated, looking up from his cleaning. “You six are better at politicking around the office, than actually doing your jobs. I spoke to her” he nodded his head towards Narissa, “janitor. He at least; aside from being smarter than you lot; knows how to pass along an important message.”

The janitor in question, one Jeremiah “Jerry” Johnson, a mortal, nodded at the gods as he pulled a garbage bag from his cart and replaced the full one in the trashcan. “Just doing my job here. Don’t pull me into your little arguments.” He spritzed the can with some air freshener, and turned away from the group. “And don’t try any of your crap, Wendy. I DO know what you did last weekend.”

Wendy, goddess of office paperwork, shuddered, gulped, and shrank back from Jerry. “Nope. No problems for you. Accounting will have all the forms. In triplicate this time.”

-

Ghondish stared at his three players. “So, you got drunk after the last game. Summoned three TEENAGERS. And gave them OVERPOWERED ABILITIES?”

Pendleton gulped, “Yes?”

Ghondish drooped. “I can expect this kind of foolishness from these two,” He gestured at Mil and Pen, “But Sarah? You too?”

“…sorry…” Sarah replied, head hung low.

Taking a long breath, Ghondish looked to the ceiling, “Well, you all stepped in it this time. I do not say this lightly: You all Fucked Around; now it’s time to Find Out.”

The three gods looked at each other in confusion, and shrugged. “What’s that mean?” Pen finally asked.

“It means that you three have to suffer the consequences of your actions.” Ghondish replied, raising a hoof towards the three.

Sarah, knowing what was coming, screamed.

-

“What in the ever-loving ME was that?!?” Narissa shouted, as the entire celestial realm rang like a bell.

El Gato, fluffed for battle, stared through slitted eyes towards the barnyard that a suddenly crumbled wall revealed. “I think the Goat just got annoyed.”