ALL NOVEL Prologue
I paused the video and took an exhaustive breath as I leaned back in my chair. "Fuck me..." I muttered with closed eyes and wondered what to do next with the remaining time in the day. It's been roughly two hours of me just sitting here watching random documentaries online, and literally nothing else has progressed. I had canceled my D&D session that night when a player crucial to the plot I had planned for had bailed due to some medical issues, for which honestly, I couldn't blame them. Even though I knew it was better for them to sleep than to try to make it through one of my sessions groggy, I could not help but feel a little down about it.
Normally, such a thing wouldn't seem like a big deal, though such a game is the only way to break up the monotonous routine I spend every day of my waking life. Wake up, take two steps to my computer, work, play games, eat, sleep, wake up, take two steps to my computer, work, play games, eat, sleep, and so on. A cycle that had been on repeat for six years straight, with only the tabletop game and my online buddies being the bumps to interrupt it.
Opening my eyes, I glanced at the time and saw that it was already two in the morning. I had to be up for work in seven hours. "I should probably go lay down," I muttered to myself as my head turned to look at my bed directly behind my computer. I stared at it for a few moments, contemplating. The thought of waking up the next morning and shuffling to this exact computer was not appealing.
Ever since the pandemic a couple of years ago, I have been working from home. At first, the thought of working for tech support from the comfort of my chair was appealing, and while it's not terrible, the mental health of your bedroom, which is also your office and the place you relax, is not that great, and living in a trailer with your brother and his family doesn't really leave much up for spacing out your life.
"I could just call off..." I muttered to myself, "Stay up and do some more prep. Maybe write." I glanced at my clock and watched as the time ticked over to ten minutes after two. Already, that much time had passed as I sat there wondering what to do. "Fuck it," I said with a grunt and turned back to my PC. "If I'm going to do that, I might as well go buy some energy drinks." I pushed my chair back and stood up with a sigh. I stretched my arms out, arched my back slightly, and grunted when it popped pleasantly.
I swapped out my comfortable Star Wars-themed pajamas for a pair of clean jeans and slid my feet into my sneakers. I then tossed my black zip-up hoodie over my green shirt and shuffled out of my room just before stopping off at the bathroom to relieve myself and wash my hands. To wake myself up more, I splashed some water on my face, looked up at the mirror, and blinked.
"God, you look like shit." I muttered out loud as my crusty blue eyes flicked over my short, wavy blonde hair and thick beard. I glanced at my razor and trimmers and contemplated doing a quick shave and once over with my brush, but... decided against it. "I'll do it when I get back," I lied to myself out loud.
With my hands firmly stuck in my pockets, I began to shuffle out of the house after grabbing my car keys. With the door firmly shut and locked behind me, I walked down to my car and made my way to the Seven-Eleven just down the street. I could've walked there, but I didn't feel like spending the ten or so minutes doing so. Though it was only early summer, Midwest America can get pretty chilly sometimes.
The drive alone only took about two minutes. The gas station is positioned just off the intersection of two highways. Even at this time of night, the place received a steady stream of business. Even now, I could see four other vehicles parked and a white truck getting gas pumped into it. I pulled up alongside the building and slid my car into an open parking spot before shutting it off and getting out. Without much of a care for the world, I popped my wireless earbuds in and began to listen to the one pointless documentary about the history of Monopoly as I walked into the store.
Immediately I was hit with the smell of cheap fried food and alcohol, and I could see a small line in front of the cash register. A tall, pale-skinned man in a white hoodie and baggy gray sweatpants with enough piercings to buy a cheap house seemed to be arguing with the clerk about something. The man was jutting his finger out towards the truck I saw getting gas, though I paid little attention to it as I walked to the back of the store.
Cotton Candy, Rainbow Unicorn, or Star Blast—who the fuck comes up with these flavor names? I thought to myself as I opened the freezer and knelt down. I've bought these flavors before, cotton candy being the most plain. Star Blast being a pretty baller and Rainbow Unicorn... that one just left me conflicted.
It is a buy two, get one free deal. I'll probably just take one of each, then, for the sake of variety.
That's when I heard it. Over the sound of my Monopoly documentary, I heard one of the women in line shriek and the two men up front shout. I straightened up and turned to see everyone behind the line either moving towards me or bolting towards the door. The clerk had his hands up in the air as the man in the white hoody pointed what was obviously a firearm at him. Immediately, I felt my stomach drop, and my eyes darted toward the exit, where a young couple darted out the door. Being at the back of the store, I could easily go around the edge and follow them. Before I made my move, I took one more glance back at the terrified clerk. He was slowly inching towards the door behind the counter while staring at the weapon being thrust towards his chest.
I muted my video and immediately knew this wasn't going to end well.
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" The clerk raised his voice but was overpowered by the attacker.
"I dun give a fuuuck!" The gangbanger slurred. "I'm tired of your dead mother fuckers rippin' me off! All you fuckers are the same!"
"Lo-look, man, I'm sorry! Whatever happened, it's cool." The clerk slowly stepped back. "If you want money, I'll open the register."
"I don't want your fucking money! I want you de--" I had no idea why I chose to do what I did. I'm not a hero or particularly brave. Stupid, maybe. Most likely. Yet before I could officially decide my escape plan, my body moved on its own. Taking a few swift steps forward, I arched my back and arm behind me and began to wind up a perfect throw before pelting the gun-wielding maniac in the back of the head with the can of Star Blast!
"Gyaak!!" The Jeweled Criminal choked as he stumbled forward into the counter, one hand cradling the back of his head as he stood there stunned.
In a shrill, panicked voice, I shouted at the clerk, "Grab his gun!"
Yet the man behind the counter instead turned and bolted through the door behind the counter. Fucking coward... I whimpered as the hooded man turned to look back in my direction. Fuck! I thought to myself as I turned to run, just as the man held up what looked like a small revolver, and suddenly I felt a hot, searing pain erupt somewhere in my upper back, and before I knew it, the hard tiled floor came rising to meet my face.
I felt like I was drowning. Hot liquid filled my mouth; I could hardly breathe. I gagged and gurgled what I could assume was my own blood. There were distant shouts, then a cacophony of banging and sirens.
Fucking hell, I'm dying! I'm fucking dying!
I tried to call out for help, yet all that came out was gore and vomit.
No! No! For fuck's sake, this can't be how I go. Please, not like this.
My vision faded. A bright light shone above me, and briefly, I could see what looked like a man and woman, their voices distant, yet I could faintly hear, "He's going into shock! C'mon, hang in there! We're almost at the hospital; stay with us. Look at me! Look at him—we're losing him! Get the defibrillator." And then silence...
Suddenly, heat, slime, and musk assaulted my senses. I couldn't breathe, and the sound of a woman screaming assaulted my eardrums as a violent force shoved me forward! I gasped and choked for air as a cool breeze wafted over me. I felt weightless as something grabbed me firmly and yanked me upwards into the sky!
What the fuck is happening?! I thought to myself, panicking.
I was no longer in pain, aside from the lack of air. Yet I can also think again, but when opening my eyes, everything was blurry aside from distant shapes!
Oh fuck, I'm blind!
I opened my mouth to cry for help, yet, what I heard was not my voice. Yet something that sounded more akin to that of a baby...
Whatever was making me fly suddenly abruptly turned me around onto my back, my legs violently forced apart.
"Woohoo!" I heard my violator shout out before suddenly speaking something that clearly wasn't English. Once more, I twirled around in the air, and the blurry giant that was toying with me yanked me forward so close to their face that the blurriness cleared to reveal a young, handsome man with bright green eyes and short brown hair smiling at me.
I fucking died and went to hell. What is this?
The man smiled widely at me and then hoisted my tiny form over to someone else; I couldn't see. On either side of me, large, slender hands wrapped around me and clutched me gently before pulling me into a cradle alongside something soft and plump.
Once again, a voice I couldn't understand spoke up. Yet this one was soft and tender, yet also mixed in with what sounded like scolding. Confused, I just froze up. I curled up like a possum in the arms of whoever was holding me and tried not to think about what the fuck had just happened.
I died. I think. I was shot. Is this hell? Is this heaven?
Either way, this is not what I expected.
Mid-thought, I was interrupted when bending down, the figure who held me in a cradle bent over close enough so that their blurry appearance came into view. A gorgeous woman with striking blue eyes and short black hair that was matted with sweat, her cheeks were flushed red with exertion, yet as my eyes soaked in her features, what stood out to me most were her ears. They were long and pointed, like an elf from a fairy tale.
The giant woman said something to me and gave me a perplexed look. I heard the man who jostled me around say something before chuckling, and the woman smirked before taking her free hand and pulling down the loose cloth of her robes. She revealed her bosom and nipple to me, and at that very moment, as I ogled her breast, it clicked.
I got reincarnated...