ALL NOVEL Chapter 46
I want to kill someone.
The desire that firmly took root in the heart of the Heavenly Killing Star only grew stronger as days passed. Even when attempting to control it using the assassins’ martial arts, the urge just kept increasing. A method to manage this desire was needed.
Assassination, rest, practicing martial arts, and then assassination again.
Her repetitive daily life revolved solely around controlling one singular desire. Her entire existence served as a fortress to seal away the latent nature of the Heavenly Killing Star within her.
While this fortress appeared very stable, in reality, it was as precarious as a sandcastle that could collapse with a single wave.
Once unleashed, the murderous intent would destroy everything around her.
The Heavenly Killing Star feared that.
When consumed by that murderous intent, she had managed to return to her senses a few times, but would she be able to do so again next time? Anxieties constantly pressed down on the Heavenly Killing Star.
It was crucial for the Heavenly Killing Star to maintain her peace of mind above all else.
“I must kill.”
The Heavenly Killing Star thought as she gazed at the sleeping Kang Yoon-ho’s neck.
A massive storm hit her life just days ago.
A man who knew her past. No, a man who might know her past.
If this man truly were her childhood friend’s older brother, wouldn’t he be able to help her regain her memories just by being beside her? With such hope, she made that declaration last night.
But now, the Heavenly Killing Star’s resolve was wavering.
“Is knowing the past that important?”
Just one day.
Just one day spent with this man.
How many times had her peace of mind been shaken?
Barely managing to maintain her inner calm and keep her murderous intent locked away, she felt that being with this man could shatter her peace.
From the cracks of that shatter, her true nature could slink out. She could lose herself forever.
The Heavenly Killing Star was seized by fear.
“Let’s kill and be at ease.”
In the life of the Heavenly Killing Star, the solution to all her worries ultimately lay in murder. If this man disappeared from the world, she wouldn’t have to face these concerns anymore.
Not to calm her murderous intent, but to safeguard her daily life: murder was necessary now.
The Heavenly Killing Star quietly pulled out the Hidden Knife before the man.
“He’s not my childhood friend older brother.”
She wasn’t trying to kill because her peace of mind was slipping away. The Heavenly Killing Star had spent the day dissecting every word the man had said.
The man’s words held no flaws. It wasn’t like the Heavenly Killing Star, who had no memories, could find fault in them. That made her more suspicious.
His one-sided goodwill towards her.
Whether the Heavenly Killing Star spoke casually or held a knife to his neck, the man treated her with kindness. Like something out of a book.
Of course, there were people like that in the world. But since she had never encountered such a person in her life, it only increased her suspicion.
“You know too much about me.”
Knowing too much about the Heavenly Killing Star was also a problem.
Ten years ago, they were both too young to understand.
It was understandable to remember playing together at that young age. But he remembered too much about her.
“Is it even possible to remember the color of the flower crown I made or what kind of flower I used for the ring from ten years ago?”
A sense of unease.
That instinct of the Heavenly Killing Star rang alarm bells at a feeling she couldn’t pinpoint clearly. It was more a matter of intuition than logic, but it had saved her life countless times until now.
“You’re a fraud.”
The Heavenly Killing Star quietly muttered to herself, making sure Kang Yoon-ho couldn’t hear her.
This man was not her childhood friend older brother. He was a fraud. Just thinking this made killing him seem like the solution to her unease.
She would return to her mundane life. The life of sealing away the true nature of the Heavenly Killing Star. She could go back to being Salmak’s Grade 5 assassin.
One stab was all it took.
The Heavenly Killing Star raised her knife high, its blade reflecting the light of a deadly star.
“So-hee.”
Suddenly, the man’s voice she had heard all day resonated in her heart.
“Trust me.”
“Where would I run away without you?”
The Heavenly Killing Star gripped the Hidden Knife tightly.
She must not be swayed.
She cannot become a monster. If she cuts her ties to the past, she can live again.
This man is a fraud. Her instincts, which had saved her countless times, were telling her that.
With one stab at this fraud, she could return to being a Salmak assassin.
But…
“So-hee. So-hee. It’s your older brother Kang Yoon-ho. Can you really not recognize this brother who played with you as a child?”
If she struck here,
If it came to that,
She could never,
Return to being Cheon So-hee forever.
*
Everything was new.
“You used to come to our house and eat this food.”
The first time she was tasting this food, the man calmly lied.
If she ate it and her memories didn’t return, then he was a fraud. Let’s kill him. With that resolution, she took a bite.
The first taste exploded with delight in her mouth, sending waves of happiness from her head to her toes.
Happiness.
Feeling happiness from food? Isn’t food just something to fill your stomach?
How could such a food exist? The more she chewed, the more the memories of the past danced away. Yet she couldn’t help but keep eating.
In front of food, the restraint of an assassin vanished.
Had the past her been the same?
“You must trust me.”
In Salmak, one could trust no one. Under one master, two disciples. A senior and a junior must kill someone to become assassins.
Even the closest of friends must die to gain the assassin’s heart.
Despite just meeting, he calmly asks her to trust him.
“I surely don’t want to see my younger sister bleed. I’ll resolve this for sure.”
Murder was a part of daily life.
Those who hesitated in killing in Salmak were treated as failures, and the fate of failures was always the same.
They learned more efficient ways to kill more people. She had never thought it was wrong.
Yet, this man wanted to stop her from killing.
“He’s my younger sister from my hometown.”
“If I get hurt a little and you don’t commit murder, it will always happen again.”
This man stepped in front of her, even with a knife to his throat.
He tried to protect her, even though he was weaker.
No one had ever tried to protect her before.
In a situation where he could die with one stab, he prioritized her.
“Thank you.”
I couldn’t believe the words that came out of my mouth.
As soon as I entered the guest room, I immediately sat down and covered my mouth with both hands.
What did I just say?
The breaking of her peace of mind did not unleash her murderous intent.
Instead, gratitude, guilt, and embarrassment flowed out—feelings she couldn’t even identify when she had last felt them.
What was the cause? The first time tasting this happiness? The feeling of being protected by someone for the first time?
“This isn’t me.”
Get a grip. Desperately trying to calm her swirling, unfamiliar emotions.
That man is not her childhood friend. He’s a fraud.
She desperately searched for clues to confirm he was a fraud, dissecting his words. Yet, nothing could be countered.
Only a minor sense of unease about her true nature arose.
There must be a clue.
“Did you always tell stories so well?”
Calming herself, she confronted the man again. Perhaps digging into his past would reveal a flaw. Hoping against hope, she tossed out a fishing line.
“I once sat you on my lap and told you stories from the past.”
The man’s words were yet another memory of herself.
“My very first customer was So-hee, wasn’t it?”
The man gazed at her with a nostalgic look. Each time she saw that gaze, it felt suffocating.
The man never looked at her when talking about the past.
He saw someone else through her.
Lost memories.
The ten years ago her.
If they shared memories like that, they should both long for the past. Yet only this man could return to it.
“I’m your first customer…”
That’s why, she tossed the term “first customer” into her void of memories. If I am this man’s first customer, then what does that memory say?
Naturally, there was no response.
How frustrating. It felt like a heavy lump was pressing down on her chest.
As she suffered from such feelings, the man nonchalantly stepped in and trampled on her wounds with his muddy feet.
“Each time I come here, I feel like I’m improving, so soon I’ll be able to share an entertaining story with you. But after that day, I could never do so…”
You have no right to allow that story. How dare you?
Instinctively, she reached for the Hidden Knife.
But she had no choice but to stop as he continued speaking.
“So it became a source of regret, and I practiced a lot more. So that when So-hee in the sky visits the earth to hear my stories, I wouldn’t feel ashamed.”
It felt like being hit in the head by an expert martial artist.
She put away the Hidden Knife, looking at the sleeping Kang Yoon-ho.
It wasn’t just her.
She wasn’t the only one hurt by that incident.
In this world, she wasn’t the only one suffering from that day.
She hadn’t been the only one who threw herself into training to forget that day.
This man carried the same wound as her.
*
As Kang Yoon-ho said, the nights in Chilgok County were chilly.
The Heavenly Killing Star was nowhere to be seen in the guest room where Kang Yoon-ho was staying.
Creak.
The Heavenly Killing Star opened the creaking door more cautiously than yesterday.
In her hand was something unexpected.
She stood before Kang Yoon-ho, holding it out.
It was the blanket Kang Yoon-ho hadn’t covered her with. The Heavenly Killing Star had fetched it from somewhere and covered Kang Yoon-ho.
As it was chilly, the moment Kang Yoon-ho felt the blanket, he instinctively pulled it over himself and buried his face into it.
Seeing that, the Heavenly Killing Star returned to her corner, sitting under the blanket Kang Yoon-ho had given her.
“I don’t acknowledge you yet.”
The Heavenly Killing Star whispered softly so that Kang Yoon-ho wouldn’t hear her.
Was he her childhood friend’s older brother or a fraud? The Heavenly Killing Star decided to withhold judgment for now.
Her instincts might have been wrong.
If he had spent his whole life thinking about her, then he could very well remember all those things.
Although the scales in the Heavenly Killing Star’s heart were already leaning to one side, she didn’t want to acknowledge it after just one day.
However, the Heavenly Killing Star made one promise.
“I’ll repay what I’ve received.”
Kindness for kindness. She didn’t need to keep her guard up against someone who had treated her kindly.
Even if she realized that this man was a fraud or that she was consumed by her murderous intent and had to strike him, at least she wouldn’t owe a debt in her heart.
The Heavenly Killing Star smoothed the blanket Kang Yoon-ho had covered her with and began eating the food he had given her.
It was cold, but it felt warm.
“I slept well.”
Upon waking, she instinctively felt around her neck.
Thank goodness. It’s still attached. The wound on her neck seemed to have dried completely. No signs of a shocking sight of her own severed body greeted her upon opening her eyes.
It seemed she had made it through the next day safely as well.
Having slept warmly, her morning condition was good. No matter how many times the rickety house’s doors were shut, the cold wind poured in, making it impossible to keep warm. She usually woke up feeling cold.
This is why people should sleep in good places.
“This blanket is nice and fluffy.”
A blanket? But she was the one who gave it to him, so why was she covered with it?
Turning her head, she looked at the place where the Heavenly Killing Star had sat the previous day.
“Huh?”
What is it?
“Where did she go?”
The spot where the Heavenly Killing Star had been now held only the well-arranged blanket.