The Priest Wants to Retire

EP.255 Epilogue. The Saint smiles silently. (2)

The Hero’s Arrival.

That thunderous news stirred a massive uproar in the quiet office.

Bang!

I jumped up and hurriedly grabbed the clothes scattered all over the room.

Was the situation so urgent?

Despite the panic in my mind, my body was moving with remarkable agility to manage this dizzying crisis.

“Got it! You’re in the office! Up and early, diligent as ever! Truly, my husband!”

My wife’s booming voice echoing in the empty corridor was terrifying beyond words.

Having pinpointed my location by scent, I had no more than about 10 seconds of grace.

While I could somehow manage to tidy up my disheveled outfit, the time was far too short to clean up all the traces of last night scattered around the room.

Let alone hiding the Sister who had collapsed from a back injury from the Hero’s sight—it was nothing short of impossible.

The phrase “Ceaseless siege” must have been created for situations just like this.

“Please tell Welna I loved her. Without this foolish sister, I hope you live happily forever…”

As I glanced over, I saw the Sister accepting her fate, muttering her final words.

There’s a limit to how quickly one can give up.

It seemed the overwhelming fear had driven her into an almost trance-like state.

Having been in similar situations where I crossed multiple lines with my comrades, I could fully sympathize with her feelings.

“Stop with the nonsense and hide quickly! I’ll buy you some time somehow!”

“I’m okay. Regis, really. Think about it. It’s just one life returning to the Lord’s embrace.”

She clearly looked anything but okay…

If she really wanted to claim she was fine, how about at least trying to look less like a corpse?

Thud! Thud!

“Father! May I come in!”

In the brief moment I let my mind wander, the resounding knock and the imposing office door began to shake like falling leaves.

I thought I heard it was a door that wouldn’t budge even if a minotaur crashed into it.

Having long withdrawn from the front lines, the Hero maintained his formidable stature like in his prime, and today, it felt almost spiteful.

“Why is the door locked? Are you hiding something from me! Haha! Whatever it is, I don’t mind! As long as it’s not a woman!”

Crash! Bam!

Just as I had barely put on my clothes, the final line of defense against the Hero was on the brink of collapse.

Gasp!

There was no time to be selective anymore.

It was inevitable. At this point…!

◈◈◈

Bang!

“Father──!!!”

Crash!

The moment the door swung open, I quickly embraced the Hero who lunged at me like a squirrel.

“Ah, hello, Hero. Good morning!”

“Haha! Good morning to you, too!”

Though it had only been half a day, the Hero was as joyful as if we hadn’t seen each other for decades.

Maybe it was because I had some guilt weighing on me.

That radiant smile, brighter than the sun, felt like it was condemning my sins, making my throat dry up.

With a bit of moisture in his hair and a floral scent wafting around, it seemed he had just finished his morning training and shower before seeking me out.

“Ah! Were you in the middle of your morning work? Could I perhaps be interrupting again?”

“Oh, no! It’s fine! I was just about to start my work!”

I awkwardly responded, smiling despite my forced demeanor.

It wasn’t unusual for the Hero to burst into the office, so honestly, it didn’t warrant any fuss now.

The problem lay with the hidden landmines within this office that could incite the Hero’s wrath.

He might not have noticed yet, absorbed in his thoughts, but considering his keen senses, it was essentially only a matter of time before it became apparent.

“Hero. The weather is lovely today. If you’re okay with it, how about we take a walk together for a change?”

“Wow! A walk! You mean a walk! Of course! I was just thinking the same thing! Truly, we are of one mind as a couple! I’m moved!”

Seeing the Hero delighted like a puppy at my sudden suggestion, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of conscience.

No matter my intentions, my actions were undeniably adulterous.

But for now, there was something that had to take priority over my petty feelings of guilt, so I steeled my resolve.

“By the way! Are you really okay with this? I recall you were always busy at this time!”

“Don’t worry! I’ve worked hard every day. I’m sure the Lord will overlook this little break!”

“Indeed! That’s true! This reinforces the importance of daily conduct! You are quite wise, Father! Thanks to you, I’ve gained another realization.”

“Ahaha…”

I forced a smile, suppressing the guilt that was gnawing at my thoughts.

For the Sister’s sake, I had to get the Hero out of this room as soon as possible.

I focused all my nerves on that singular goal.

“Then, shall we get ready to go out right away?”

“Yes! Leave the lunch to me! Finally, the opportunity has come! This is my chance to whip up an enormous sandwich stuffed with the Minos Mountain steak you love! I call it the Hero Sandwich!”

“Just to be safe, let me remind you, no more meat piled upon meat like last time, okay? We need our veggies too.”

“Haha! Don’t worry! This time, the meat is from animals well-fed on vegetables! The nutrition will be just fine!”

“Oh, okay…”

I decided to take care of the vegetables myself.

Snick, snick.

With the excited Hero still in my arms, I slowly made my way to the door.

The exit was just ahead.

As long as I could get the Hero outside, the Sister’s safety was practically guaranteed.

It was a desperate measure of last resort, yet here I was, it somehow seemed to have worked.

Turned out, there’s no such thing as a guaranteed end.

“But before that! The very first task at hand!”

“Eh? What do you mean by that…”

“Pest control!”

“Eh?”

Thud!

With a dull thud, strength drained from my body.

Even as my consciousness remained clear, my knees buckled naturally.

Through all of that, the fact that I felt no pain was actually making the fear more intense.

“H-Hero?”

“It’s alright, Father. I know you haven’t done anything wrong. I believe in you. You wouldn’t betray my trust willingly. So, this is entirely the fault of that wicked seductress who lured you into temptation…”

Weak and supported awkwardly on the floor, the Hero gently embraced me and said those words.

Only then did my shocked mind start to comprehend the situation that had struck me like a blow.

Yes. The moment he entered the room, the Hero had already figured it all out.

My infidelity. Who it was with.

“Don’t worry! This will be over soon.”

“H-Hero! Wait! Hold on a second!”

I drew my sword from my waist and rushed to stop the Hero as he slowly walked away.

But in my state, barely able to move my neck, I was reduced to a desperate croak.

What a disaster.

If I had known it would come to this, I should have just been honest instead of trying to cover my tracks in such a pitiful way!

As that regret hit me like an arrow to the brain, it was too late.

“Clatter!”

With a feeble clang, the Hero dropped his sword to the floor and began to gag, covering his mouth with both hands while stumbling about.

Now that I looked closer, even his formerly bright face had turned ghostly pale.

“Ugh!”

He soon let out a dry heave.

Although in attempts to suppress it, his actions had become more evident to me than ever.

That reaction…Could it be…?

“Ugh! Ughhh──!”

Thud, thud!

Having clamped his mouth shut, the Hero frantically bolted for the bathroom.

The direction he dashed was clearly towards the restroom.

It seemed he could no longer contain the rising urge to vomit and had to urgently dispose of everything within.

A person like him, who always wanted to appear beautiful before me, even refraining from yawning or sneezing.

Understanding why he acted that way wasn’t difficult at all.

I survived.

It was nothing short of a miracle from the heavens. I had no other way to explain the timing.

Of course, the Hero’s doubts hadn’t been completely dispelled; it could merely be a delay of the inevitable.

But for now, I was just thankful to have gotten through this moment unscathed.

“R-Regis──!!!”

“Yes! Sister! I’ll be there shortly!”

Just then, the Sister, hanging outside the window with chains to avoid being discovered by the Hero, desperately called for me.

After that, I had to console the Sister, who thought for sure she was going to die, for a long while, like a frightened little child.

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