The Priest Wants to Retire

〈 38화 〉 Verbal Abuse

*

”Apis····. Are you okay····?”

Even after hastily escaping the store and crossing the main street, Apis’s frustration showed no signs of calming down as she reached the nearby park.

The kind-hearted store owner uncle generously let go of the damages for the broken table and magic tools, saying it was good entertainment.

An unknown adventurous young man, who carelessly threw flirtatious looks at Apis, tried to persistently block our way.

But just like with the previous hoodlums, a swift kick to the wall silenced him quickly enough.

So, if only Apis could calm down, it seemed clear that everything would end smoothly.

”Huh, sniff!”

Was it incredibly shameful for her to have her personal flaws exposed in broad daylight?

With her face buried in her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs, every now and then came the sound of her heart-wrenching sobs.

It was truly pitiful, like watching a forlorn child who lost their mother in a big shopping mall.

”Well, it can’t be helped····. Huh! In my hometown, because of my hair color, the boys never came near me····. Hic! Even when I was kicked out of the village after a big fight with the elder, I was already well over three hundred years old····.”

How long has it been since those mutterings, not knowing who they were meant for, echoed like a round of chorus?

Finally, Apis lifted her head.

”If you go around blabbing about this, you’ll die! Especially if you tell the hero or Dawna, I’ll tear you limb from limb! Got it!?”

While the words she shot at me were quite ominous.

”Apis····. Do I look like the kind of person who has the guts to spread rumors about a friend’s virginity?”

”I’m just saying because you seem like a fool who would accidentally spill secrets during casual conversation!”

”····Indeed.”

I unintentionally nodded at her sharp insight that pierced through my very essence.

In fact, I had a history of accidentally revealing her secret authorship of a fairy tale book during a drinking party with my comrades, swearing to take it to my grave.

The name she used back then, “Princess Cherry Tomato,” had popped into my mind while carelessly munching on cherry tomatoes.

Right after that, Apis had gone wild, threatening to kill me and then die herself, with the rest of the party struggling desperately to calm her down.

Truly the best sharpshooter in the system. A master at grasping the flow of conversation, she was.

”Until everyone who knows what happened today naturally dies, I won’t set foot in this city for the next hundred years····.”

”That’s pointless····. From the looks of those people cheering earlier, they are probably planning to pass down the story of today to their grandchildren···· I bet, in about two hundred years, Apis will be remembered as a legendary virgin saint in history····.”

”Shut your mouth!?”

”Cough!”

It was always amazing.

Even with her tear-stained eyes, her reckless behavior still possessing an aura, that ethereal beauty of the elf didn’t fade a bit.

In fact, the traces of tears seemed to add a drop of fragility to her imposing figure, like seeing a wild flame.

I almost said that if she just toned it down a bit or at least pretended to be a little modest, there would be good men lining up, but I knew well that advising Apis to change her daunting personality was as useless as asking a beast to shave its mane, so I merely bit my lip.

”You too! You! If you’re going to step forward saying ‘that’s my girl,’ at least don’t stutter! So embarrassing! When you grabbed that disgusting guy’s hand, did you see the look on his face as he eyed you up and down!? He was looking down on you completely!”

”No, it was obvious that if I didn’t do that, Apis would have yelled at that guy, so I just blurted it out····.”

”That kind of guy deserves to be yelled at! Just seeing his stupid face after knowing I’m a virgin, waddling around with that goofy grin, is enough to know! Ugh! So creepy! Even if they are of the same race! Don’t support those kinds of guys!”

”Apis····. Like I said before, our human race doesn’t have the same sense of ethnic belonging as elves do. Even siblings raised together often fight each other with swords. For humans, it’s right to see everyone as basically strangers, only resembling each other in appearance, right?”

”Then why are you so eager to save those complete strangers!?”

”It’s just a bad habit I’ve picked up.”

Apis always disapproved of me, who approached others with a bow, as she hated being looked down upon more than death.

Since adventurers often find themselves in rough situations, even those with gentle natures can get rougher after facing near-death experiences.

Even I, someone who would greet a person holding a knife to my throat, was recognized as a peculiar breed by Apis, who found me quite frustrating.

Because of that.

It was a constant situation for Apis to reprimand my indecisiveness.

In the tranquil atmosphere of the sparsely populated café, where the subtle sounds of life occasionally echoed like in a cozy home.

Just listening to each other’s voices felt calming and could be considered our daily routine.

”More importantly! You weren’t really acting as a male prostitute, were you?”

”After seeing my state earlier, can you still say that····?”

”Hahaha! I guess that’s true!”

Between our back-and-forth, soft laughter began to seep through.

Despite Apis’s hand hitting my back quite firmly, rather than feeling unpleasant, it made my heart feel lighter, as if I had met an old friend.

”I can’t believe! This is all because! Dawna was spouting nonsense! About how this was clearly kidnapping! Saying that the Vatican people were bringing in sexual slaves to satisfy their urges! Just blabbering away without thought, that’s why this mess happened!”

”I was wondering whose ridiculous idea that misunderstanding originated from····. Dawna hasn’t changed, has she?”

”Right!? So back then! I sharply told her! Who in their right mind would want to target an old man who’s far past the suitable age for a maiden, let alone one that’s not even a virgin!”

”Hey, for that, Apis, you believed I was doing male prostitution until I raised the Crest of Purity, didn’t you?”

”Ugh!”

”What did you say back then····? If my memory serves me right, it was something like you’re not worth even that much····.”

”Aah! Aah! F-forget it! Forget it right now! You burning bastard!”

”Cough, cough! Wait! Apis! The solar plexus! Not the solar plexus!”

And just like that, after several more exchanges, we calmly sorted out the misunderstandings tangled like a power cord behind a computer.

”So, the reason your name wasn’t on the list, and the nun in charge of hospitality treated you as a non-existent person at the monastery, is that the Vatican deliberately hid your identity because they look down on your background. Is that what you’re saying?”

”Yes. Probably. ”

I wasn’t certain, but that’s at least what I thought.

My name. Regis Lowville.

The surname ‘Regis’ is commonly used by orphans without parents.

It must be quite bothersome for the Vatican, who take great pride, to have it publicly known that the Saint’s personal guardian priest came from humble orphan origins.

When I unintentionally resurrected the Ranobel Priest, that news spread like wildfire around here, without anyone specifically naming me, just a vague rumor that the singular guardian of the saint had performed a miracle.

Therefore, I had heard from the sister that some newspapers had employed people skilled in stealth to investigate and rummage through the monastery to uncloak the identity of the veiled guardian.

Thanks to the Ranobel Priest’s fiancées holding a strict lid on their mouths and managing to actively control unwanted information, no accidents had occurred to expose my identity.

Thus, the only ones who knew that I was the saint’s guardian in this system were those who had attended the coronation, a few high priests, about seven noble ladies among the Ranobel Priest’s fiancées, and only Apis.

”Hmmm. But for that, there seems to be something····. No, never mind. I’ll take you along to the Vatican later, and we’ll discover the issues that are somehow suspicious.”

”Hahaha····.”

Should I call this boldness? Or a lack of countermeasures?

It seemed her nature remained, to confront issues head-on.

”Then, what’s the deal with you wandering outside with a nun on a leash?”

”Oh, that’s a long story involving my escape, but I got caught in the process····.”

”Sigh, you child····.”

How much time had passed?

With a refreshing expression as if brushing away the clouds of contemplation, Apis spoke to me.

”Alright! Then when do you think you can come back? Maybe around the time the blessing ceremony ends? Hahaha! The hero is going to be so surprised! Dawna and Bigtim too! Especially that hero guy! To find just you····.”

In response to Apis’s words, I brought out the gentle smile I had prepared, replying softly.

In a low tone, as if I could barely extinguish the candle on a birthday cake, in a serene melody.

I resolutely whispered my firm intention.

”Apis. I just want to say this, just in case.”

Right after that, Apis’s cheerful expression lost its warmth, slowly hardening.

”I have no intention of returning to the hero party.”

Followed by.

”Moreover, I don’t want to see the hero’s face again for the rest of my life.”

It didn’t take long for Apis’s pale face to twist in fierce anger at my outrageous verbal assault.

*