The Priest Wants to Retire

〈 Episode 40 〉 The Extinguished Lamp

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It felt like it was about to melt away.

Avoiding the blazing sunlight, like snowflakes seeping into the ground, unable to withstand the heat weighing down on her head, crumpling like a candle on the floor.

Apis felt that the radiant lamp, which could surely melt away something as thin as herself with just a flick, was particularly dazzling today.

Yeah, so dazzling that she wanted to squint her eyes shut.

Naturally, it felt better to throw her consciousness into the pitch-black darkness instead.

“Apis’s summoning magic with ancient script! This! That guy found it! I’m reading it correctly, right! Right?!”

A tiny butterfly, seemingly made by folding leaves. It was the emergency magic sent to the hero, who had been in a deep sleep right after Apis discovered the priest.

The hero’s innocent bouncing around, holding the tiny note tightly in both hands, was as cheerful as a child welcoming a traveling circus.

Apis thought.

How long has it been since she saw him smile so pure?

How long. How long indeed.

It was truly un-elf-like thinking.

It had only been a little over a month.

To the elf tribe, with their enormously different lifespan, even the blink of an eye couldn’t measure the time.

Yet, during that little over a month chasing after the missing priest, Apis had witnessed how many hardships the hero had endured, reflecting that such a fleeting moment was comparable to eternity.

Who would have thought there would come a day when a time that didn’t even reach a year would feel so far away?

Now Apis felt that she could fully understand the strange saying a man once said, that time is relative.

Recalling his face now was quite infuriating.

“So! Apis! Priest! Where the heck is the priest right now! Didn’t he come with you! Is it possible! That he’s starving due to living in poverty! Is he hurt or suffering from any ailment?!”

“Y-hero! I get it! I get it! Just calm down and put that down first!”

Gripping Apis’s shoulders tightly, the hero bombarded her with stormy questions, as if he were hanging off a cliff.

Though his mouth was smiling, his pale complexion was like a stranded traveler lost in the middle of a vast desert, desperately seeking water.

“Hah! So sorry! Apis! I—I couldn’t help it!”

“Oh my····. What the heck are you like····.”

The hero’s appearance was quite odd.

Holding a kitchen knife, wearing an apron, and even with a plug in his nose, it looked suspicious beyond just bizarre.

“I was cooking!”

“What?!”

Right after, Apis’s astonished gaze fell on the living room table behind the hero.

“Oh my····.”

Apis was horrified.

The lavish spread on the table looked like it might break the table legs, which was surprising enough.

But the main reason for Apis’s shock wasn’t the quantity or variety of food.

It was the type of food.

With senses overly sensitive, the hero, who normally shied away from strong-smelling or stinky food, was surrounding himself with intensely fragrant dishes without a single wrinkle on his forehead.

Especially, the identity of the hefty mound of meat on the central plate and the red beverage resting in a bucket full of premium ice.

Minotaur grilled meat and Valting red wine.

Those were foods the hero usually avoided due to their pungent aroma.

Yet, they were also his favorites.

“…Did you do all this by yourself?”

“No! I only did the procurement and preparation of ingredients and cooking! If Bigtim and Dawna hadn’t helped with the tasting, I wouldn’t have been able to prepare this feast!”

That was practically saying he did it all himself.

The retort almost bubbled out, but unable to resist the longing in the hero’s sparkling eyes, Apis had to swallow her words.

“Hey. Hero····. You this····.”

“Rest assured! Apis! All the ingredients here were bought with my own money! Not a single cent was touched from the party funds!”

“No····. That’s not what I meant····.”

“Haha! During the preparation and cooking, I got scolded hard because of the smells! I could douse myself in the stench of monster’s blood and organs without a care! But why do I find the aroma of ingredients I don’t like so unpleasant? Hah! It’s indeed curious! This is the mystery of the human body! Truly astonishing!”

“Ha····. Enough····. More importantly, that’s obviously the case. The smell you can’t help but bear and the smell you voluntarily take into your mouth can’t be the same····. Wait····. What are you holding in your hand.”

“Hah!”

Despite the grandstanding, Apis didn’t miss the hero’s unnatural movement as he hurriedly hid his hands behind his back.

“Oh, it’s nothing!”

“Nothing my foot! Bring your hand here! Quick!”

“A-Apis! Look! Look at the sky! A shooting star is passing by!”

“We’re indoors, you idiot! Enough of that nonsense! Show me your hand! Hurry!”

“Y-Yes····.”

Reluctantly extending his hand.

As Apis clearly noticed the large and small scars and the sloppy bandaging on his rugged palm, she suddenly gasped sharply.

“You fool····!”

“Haha! Whenever I put strength into ingredient preparation! I accidentally infused it with magic power! Such is the terror of habit! A so-called hero cannot even slice meat satisfactorily! How embarrassing!”

The hero’s cooking skills were inadequately pathetic.

He seemed as if born solely for fighting. He appeared to have cleared his mind of all domestic matters.

Even simple tasks like moving a plate were usually broken by his failure, so Apis had to be the one who took on the cooking duties in his place.

Of course, while he believed that it was wrong for a hero to only take help without giving back, he had made the process anything but smooth.

Thanks to the priest using her cunning tongue to successfully keep the hero out of the kitchen troubles.

At least up to this moment.

“Why hasn’t anyone stopped this from happening till now!? What the heck is wrong with everyone!? ”

Apis’s frantic shout made the hero flinch as if he were a child caught confessing to their parents.

Then, like a nervous kid, he cautiously raised one hand to speak to Apis.

“I-I’m sorry, Apis. To be honest, Bigtim and Dawna tried to stop me several times, but, well····.”

“What?!”

The hero, looking utterly crestfallen, pointed trembling fingers at the floor.

Following where his finger pointed, Apis’s gaze landed on the floor.

“What the heck! Dawna!? Bigtim!? What are you guys doing on the ground!? ”

“Ugh····.”

“Ugh····.”

“I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

With their mouths stuffed with meat, Dawna and Bigtim were sprawled on the floor like corpses as Apis’s shrill voice rang out.

Next to them, the hero continuously bowed his head in deep apologies, starting to explain the whole situation.

“Uh, um! It appears that several types of the sample meat I handed out had poison in them! When I tasted it, it was all okay! I forgot that I’m immune to all poisons! S-so! ”

“Oh, I got it! I roughly understand how things unfolded! Shut your mouth! And stop bowing your head!”

“Y-Yes, ma’am!”

The hero answered stiffly like a soldier to Apis’s firm tone.

It was just like seeing a strict older sister and her mischievous younger brother.

Each time Apis chastised the hero for his foolish actions, the priest would jokingly say.

“Ha····. You’ve already given them antidotes, right?”

“Yes! Of course! Just in case, I also stuffed them full of hearty meat for a boost! Both of them will definitely regain consciousness soon!”

“Right····. Well done····.”

“Haha! Thank you!”

So, Apis, who had barely rescued the party members slowly dying from the dual pressure of poison and meat, glanced over the food spread across the table and, as she shifted her gaze back to the hero.

“So, by the way! When will the priest you were looking for arrive here! Is he coming soon? An hour later? Two hours later? Hah! Or maybe tomorrow or the day after? That would be a disaster! The congratulatory dishes I prepared with great care might get cold!”

“Th-that’s····.”

The hero, clearly beaming with excitement, kept urging Apis like a child waiting for Santa’s gift.

‘From now on, I never want to see the hero’s face again for the rest of my life.’

Was it perhaps because that naive face filled with hope was blocked by the cold smile and indifferent voice?

“I’m sorry····. My mistake····. It was a misunderstanding····.”

“U-uh····?”

In the end, Apis couldn’t muster the courage to tell him the harsh truth.

That pitiful excuse, that cowardly choice completely sucked the light from the hero’s jewel-like eyes.

“S-I’m sorry····. Hero····.”

“····”

Rustle.

The lamp, having used all its oil, shattered the darkness into pieces.

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