The Priest Wants to Retire

Chapter 48: Healthy Beauty

*

The story of an experienced athlete being able to read their teammates’ thoughts just by exchanging glances suddenly popped into my mind.

Once, I doubted the truth of that story with tinted glasses, but not anymore.

Now, as I sync with my trustworthy comrades in this cruel place called a dungeon, I’ve experienced a similar phenomenon multiple times.

For reference, the eye contact conversation I had the most with my comrades was this:

Stay still!

I got it!

“Ah, what brings Apis here…?”

My bewildered gaze crossed with the Sister’s strange look.

We merely locked eyes, but I could somewhat guess that our thoughts were on the same wavelength.

The questions that lay heavy on our retinas were threefold.

First, why is this elf here right now?

Second, how did her right arm get broken?

Third, why is she wearing a school uniform?

◈◈◈

“Apis, what happened to you… No, more importantly, why are you with the Sister? What happened to your arm?”

“I got hurt. Just heal me first. Ask questions later.”

“Hah…”

With an indifferent demeanor, like a convenience store clerk handing over change, Apis presented her injured arm to me.

The swollen joint looked as if it had a scenic view beyond a warped mirror, grotesquely twisted.

She had some emergency care done, applying herbs and splinting it, but it was still emergency measures at best.

Without further ado, her arm was in desperate need of proper medical attention.

“I see that the wound looks a few hours old… What on earth were you doing to let it get to this state? Were you looking for me for this reason? You could have fixed that with holy water easily.”

“There are plenty of clerics scattered around here, so why bother with holy water? Plus, holy water doesn’t just come free. You need to save resources when possible. Wasting holy water on a little broken arm seems a bit excessive, don’t you think?”

“Apis, normally a person would be bedridden for months with a broken bone. And if that’s the case, you don’t really need me to…”

“I refuse to let any other human touch my body! Especially male clerics, those perverted creeps who take advantage of medical procedures to grope women! I don’t want a single hair on my body touched by them!”

“Apis… That’s a bias…”

While I can’t deny there are some unsavory male clerics, as someone who has suffered considerably because of the rumors those creeps have spread, every time I hear her say that, my heart sinks.

The reason I had to master the prayer to heal others without touching them was that when Apis had just joined our party, she flat-out refused to let my hands touch her body.

The first time we met, even with a hole in her body, she threw a tantrum and refused any treatment I attempted, driving all the party members crazy.

I mean, she wasn’t a child who was throwing a fit to avoid going to the dentist.

Even now, her traitorous face, soaked in a warm betrayal after being subdued by the Hero and Bigtim, still lingers vividly in my mind.

“Father! Now! This moment, while Bigtim and I are subduing Apis, is our only chance!”

“Let go of me, you traitors! You think you can do something naughty again? I’m not having it! Just like smutty books! Just like smutty books!”

Thinking about those days makes my head throb.

Back then, every time I reached out to treat the injured Apis, it felt like shoving my fingers into a sewing machine to pull them back out again.

Come to think of it, when did it become a thing that Apis wouldn’t mind my hands on her body?

“Apis… I really want to treat you, but as you know, I’m now the Guardian Priest of the Saintess, so without permission from a high-ranking person, I can’t treat anyone recklessly.”

“Ah, it’s okay. I’ve already gotten that high-ranking person’s permission. Right?”

“Huh?”

Just then.

Apis’s mischievous gaze turned towards the Sister, who was sitting quietly next to her.

“Yes, yes… Of course… Apis is a member of the Hero Party, after all…”

Her body trembled, her stuttered speech, and the cold sweat oozing from her thin nightgown clung to her, all remnants of her usual meticulousness vanished completely, leaving her looking miserable—like a mouse in front of a cat.

No matter how you look at it, it’s clear she’s being threatened somehow.

From experience, it’s best to avoid actions that might provoke Apis while she’s in that state.

For now, I decided to close my eyes about the Sister.

I’m sorry, Sister. I’ll save you soon, just wait a little longer.

“Hah… Fine, I’ll just treat you…”

“Haha! That’s the spirit! Hey! Sister! You can go now! Wait outside for a bit!”

“A-Apis! While I regret to say this, leaving two young men and women alone in a closed room goes against our church’s teachings, which prides itself on being holy…”

Haaang!?

Eek!

As Apis raised her voice, placing her legs on the desk, the startled Sister yelped like a bird and fell weakly to the floor.

“Ah! Why are you scaring me!?”

“I didn’t! You just didn’t understand what I was saying! I just spoke loudly!”

“That was scaring me, obviously! And if you’re going to say something like that, maybe tone down the aura of death you’re exuding!”

“Uuugh…”

While I was having a heated exchange with Apis, the Sister, who was sniffing and sobbing, occasionally trembled as our voices floated around her.

Even while being spooked by Apis’s petty antics, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the scene of our conversation, almost like an audience watching a wild beast tamer.

I fully understand why the Sister would be afraid of Apis, whose personality is rough and actions are aggressive, but still, it seemed a bit excessive.

Did something happen between the two of them while I was away?

That reasonable doubt flickered through my mind.

“I-I’m sorry, Apis. I’ll excuse myself as you say. I’ll be leaving now…”

Creek.

Without delay, as if fleeing from something, the Sister exited.

“Apis, you didn’t say anything harsh to the Sister, did you?”

“No? I just asked her to call you over, and we exchanged some small talk while waiting for you to come back. I didn’t do anything.”

“Ah, I see…”

Something definitely happened.

“Dear deity, I am but your finger, a mere little lamb. Under your authority, I shall bring peace to all things on this land. All glory shall be devoted to you.”

“Haha! Looks like you haven’t lost your touch yet!”

Carefully placing my hand on Apis’s broken arm, I began to pray.

Just yesterday, the mere fact that an acquaintance showed up back with a broken arm rattled my heart.

Now, she was dressed in a painfully awkward outfit not matching her age, intensifying the bewilderment I felt.

Pigtails. A school uniform from the Academy.

A look so classic that it might as well belong in a museum.

Her attire directly contradicted Apis’s usual motto that functionality and defense are what matter.

Could she have bumped her head? Or maybe she ate something bad?

Fearing that such distracting thoughts might meddle in my prayers, I blocked my vision to heighten my concentration.

“But how did this happen to your hand? Did you fight a dragon or have another showdown with Dawna?”

“Well… That’s kind of how it went…”

“I can’t believe it… I told you two to get along…”

How long had it been?

As I was certain that Apis’s arm had fully healed from the gentle sensations in my fingertips and was about to open my tightly shut eyelids, it happened.

“Huh… All done. Now.”

“Yeah. All healed. Perfect.”

“Apis, just so you know, even if you came to see me, my feelings won’t change. I don’t want to go back to the Hero Party or see the Hero again. So if that’s why you came, please don’t come again—”

Just then.

“Now, it’s time to pay for the treatment.”

“Huh?”

WHAM!

In an instant, it happened.

Without a single warning, Apis pushed me over.

When I regained my senses, I found myself flat on my back, staring at the ceiling, while she sat on my waist, looking down at me with an alluring gaze I had never seen before.

“Apis…?”

“Let’s see… Next, I’ll…”

I tried to gauge Apis’s expression to understand her intentions, but she was too busy burying her face in a small book to pay me any mind.

“So… umm… Ah! Ah-ha! Like this! Like this is how it’s done, right!?”

“…?”

Finally, Apis closed the book that had been hiding her face and, with a refreshed expression as if she had just figured something out, spoke to me.

“Hey! How’s this! Does this turn you on!?”

In that very stance atop my body.

With her left hand on her hip and her right hand behind her neck, striking a so-called ‘sexy pose,’ Apis showcased an imposing grandeur that felt like witnessing an ancient golem.

“How about it? Turned on?”

…Well, she looks healthy.

*