The Priest Wants to Retire

〈 Episode 5 〉 Resignation Letter.

*

”I quit.”

”It’s not allowed.”

Here we go again.

Her tone was icy, as if she had a hidden agenda.

I could understand why. It wasn’t the first time she and I had exchanged these lines. Still, I think this week was only the 20th time in 3 or 4 days, so it was somewhat better than usual.

”This week alone, it’s already the 20th time you’ve declared the abandonment of your duties, Priest. Please consider my position, where I have to listen to your complaints each time.”

····Something’s off.

The devout Sister couldn’t possibly utter a lie under the place of worship, which is no different from God’s court. Could there be someone with the same circumstances as me in this capital? I knew the chances were slim, but I hoped it might be true.

”Sister. I finally realized this time. The title of the Saint’s Personal Guardian Priest never fit me from the start; it was just a yoke given by the Almighty for a moment.”

”I suppose so.”

”There’s no worse custom than having an incompetent person in a key position, rusting away the organization. It’s not too late even now. We need to replace this old gear that is me as soon as possible.”

”Indeed.”

”Thank you for understanding my feelings, Sister. I have been indebted to you so far. If fate allows, let’s meet again someday. Well then, I’m off.”

”Yes, take care. Don’t forget to return before the Saint’s breakfast time tomorrow, Regis Guardian Priest.”

Our conversation was always on a parallel track. Even after hearing my desperate pleas, the Sister was fixated on the pile of paperwork in front of her, as if it was an impregnable fortress, but I couldn’t back down here.

To seize the fleeting moment of peace, which I could barely remember the last time I felt, I had to throw off this heavy burden of a role that weighed down my frail body.

Thud.

I carefully placed the envelope that had “Resignation Letter” written in big letters on the Sister’s desk. I thought about throwing it down dramatically like I’d seen in a drama, but somehow that felt inappropriate, so I held back.

”Looks like you’re very serious this time, given that you’ve even prepared something like this.”

”I’ve always been serious.”

Always wholeheartedly wanting to quit.

”May I ask why?”

The Sister, tapping the desk lightly with her office pen, expressed her annoyance, and her question was valid.

After all, being the Saint’s Guardian Priest is a position viewed as more glorious than one granted by the king among those who serve the divine and is considered a supreme position, sitting at God’s right hand.

Is there really a foolish person who would tear up a winning lottery ticket they’ve finally scored?

I could see the doubt blooming brightly in the Sister’s eyes as she observed my behavior.

”Ahem. As a firstborn, I must carry on the family business from my paternal side.”

”That’s strange. Isn’t it true that you’re an orphan born in an orphanage?”

”W-well, actually, I received an offer to be a graduate student from a professor I knew in school…”

”But you dropped out of the Academy, didn’t you?”

”In my hometown… I have a fiancée with whom I swore my future…”

”So you’re telling me that after being dragged to the brothel on the day of your coming-of-age ceremony by your classmates, you couldn’t even hold a girl’s hand?”

”····I did hold hands.”

As my hastily made excuses were being systematically dismantled, a drop of cold sweat running down my spine warned me of impending crisis.

After all, for the Sister, who memorized even the number of marks on the body of the Saint and the people surrounding her, my personal information as the Saint’s Guardian Priest was trivial as a multiple-choice question worth one point.

Clumsy lies won’t work. However, I couldn’t muster the courage to share my current reality.

That lately, the Saint’s physical contact had gone too far, and I no longer had the confidence to maintain myself as a clergy; I wanted to quit being the Guardian Priest.

It would be impossible to confess such absurd truth to anyone else.

As long as I wasn’t treated like a delusional madman, I’d consider myself lucky, and I might even be taken for a religious trial for tarnishing the Saint’s honor.

Moreover, just yesterday, suddenly receiving divine favor from the Saint and losing consciousness for several hours created a gap in my memory, pouring more fuel onto my anxiety.

Right before losing consciousness, I begged like a pitiful heroine in a humiliation story, saying it couldn’t happen, but given the Saint’s past behavior, she likely crossed the line.

The moment I regained consciousness, facing the sleeping Saint, snugly tucked within my clothes, like a rabbit in its burrow, I couldn’t help but realize the unspeakable truth.

The Guardian Priest, who was supposed to protect the Saint, unintentionally ended up taking her lips.

I needed to leave this country as soon as possible. That was the only thought running through my mind.

”What does the reason matter? From the start, this position is too much for someone like me. I know my own limits better than anyone. There are plenty of candidates around who can take my place, and there are twice as many talented people better than me. With my insufficient abilities, I would surely become a hindrance, not a shield, to the Saint. You, of all people, Sister, would know that, right?”

”Haa…”

As if she couldn’t take it anymore, the Sister placed her hand over her furrowed brows.

She knew. I knew well. There’s nothing as draining as dealing with someone who constantly belittles themselves. But what can I do? If I don’t do this, I’ll end up buried here. And I mean physically.

”Understood. I’ll accept your resignation, Priest.”

”There’s a saying in my homeland: A bald eagle cannot catch flies. This implies that… what was it again?…”

”I said I would approve your resignation.”

”Wait, really…?”

”Yes. Our doctrine states that we don’t turn away those who come and don’t hold back those who leave. Losing a precious talent like you would be a huge loss for us, but if your will is that strong, then I have nothing more to say.”

I was dumbfounded by the Sister’s unexpectedly refreshing demeanor.

If it were any other time, she would have likely dragged me into a long discussion and called other priests to remove me while I wept and pleaded, but she easily accepted my request like this.

They say even the most stubborn tree will fall after ten blows; finally, my sincerity has reached the heavens.

Managing the overwhelming joy surging in my chest, I expressed my gratitude to the person who granted me the greatest grace of my life.

”Thank you! Sister!”

”No need for that. But if it’s not too much to ask, could I request just one favor?”

”Yes! Of course! Since it’s a request from you, Sister! I will do anything within my capabilities!”

”Then, please deliver this letter to the post office for me. By Griffon mail.”

”Yes! Understood! You mean the Griffon mail, right!”

The letter I quickly snatched before the Sister changed her mind was clearly luxurious at first glance.

The quality of the paper, the seal, the fragrance; all of it suggested it was something to be used when sending to someone related to the royal family, and moreover, it had to be sent by the fastest method available, Griffon mail, so it wasn’t hard to guess that it was an urgent matter.

”Since this is a very precious letter, you must handle it with utmost care. If you happen to damage this letter, then the resignation I just mentioned will be nullified.”

”T-there’s that much importance in this letter… Is it related to the royal family…?”

”No. It’s a very personal letter with no relation to the royal family whatsoever.”

”Huh? What do you mean by that…?”

A chilling silence brushed between me and the Sister like a dreadful winter chill, momentarily halting my thoughts.

Eventually, a calm voice, like a drop of water on a lake, arrested my self-consciousness.

”It’s just a very personal… letter, asking a famous adventurer party, who’s well-known in this system, about the whereabouts of a certain priest who has suddenly gone missing…”

”Burn the trash─!!!”

It was a reflexive action to protect myself. I hurriedly threw the letter I was holding into the nearest furnace.

Fwoosh. It didn’t take long for the letter to be incinerated beyond recognition, but there’s no doubt my breath halted during that brief moment when the white paper turned to black ashes.

It was because the information slipping from the Sister’s lips was shocking to me.

”H-how!”

”Since you burned the letter, just as promised, the resignation is null and void. Right, Priest?”

”How is this possible! How did you…!”

”Or perhaps should I refer to you as such? Former adventurer Priest, Regis Lowville.”

*