The Priest Wants to Retire

Chapter 74: Small Crisis. Big Crisis. (Revised)

*

I must have been out of my mind for a moment.

On top of the bell tower, drunk as a skunk, I ran into some nameless old man by chance.

He gave me a ridiculous piece of advice: if I was troubled by the women constantly clinging to me, why not tell them I have someone I plan to marry?

I should have shrugged it off as nonsense and forgotten about it within a day, but my brain, soaked in alcohol, was in no condition to think straight.

By the time I regained my senses, a pair of expensive rings I had bought outright, without any installments, sat in my hand.

My only bragging point had been that I had never messed up while drinking, but now my self-esteem had taken yet another tiny scratch.

“What am I going to do…?”

Creak creak.

I folded and unfolded the innocent ring box multiple times, whispering my regret.

The dazed hero was now safely tucked away in my room.

I succeeded in calming down the sisters, who had bombarded me with endless questions like a school of carp in front of food, and sent them back safely.

But just like aftershocks following an earthquake, I couldn’t shake off the impending catastrophe brewing from this incident, and my heart grew heavier.

Of course, I earnestly begged the sisters not to mention today’s events to anyone.

But knowing how starved they were for gossip about romantic affairs, I knew it was only a matter of time before rumors about my “fiancée” spread like wildfire throughout the monastery.

Still, frowning and deep in thought wouldn’t solve anything, so I decided to tackle the immediate problem at hand.

“First, let’s put out the raging fire…”

I decided to put aside matters that couldn’t be solved for now and focus on the challenge right in front of me.

◈◈◈

“Where have you been all this time?”

“I-I’m sorry…”

The reproachful voice of the sister pinched my conscience hard.

No matter how valid the reasons were, I couldn’t deny that I had shown up much later than planned.

Muttering endless sincere apologies was all I could do to show my utmost sincerity.

“I’m sorry, Sister. The truth is…”

“That smells like cigarette…”

Just then, a cool voice sharp as a needle pierced through my dazed mind.

“Father… Did you smoke?”

“Uh? Ah! Well, that is…”

“I’d like you to answer honestly. Were you just smoking a moment ago?”

“Is it… so obvious?”

Sigh…

Scratching my head, the response was a heavy sigh from the sister that felt like the ground was about to swallow me whole.

With furrowed brows, she gently placed a hand on her forehead.

That entire gesture made it clear that she was extremely displeased.

“Father, I have asked you many times. Smoking and drugs are impious acts that defile the sacred body bestowed by God. I was quite pleased when you decided to quit, but to reach for that impurity again? What if the Saintess can smell it? What would you do? Aren’t you embarrassed for your future children?”

It seemed the cigarette smell wafting from me had really upset her.

With her arms crossed, she openly revealed her discomfort as she shot arrows of harsh words at me.

She looked like a wife scolding her husband for something ridiculous, making me think, “The poor guy who eventually marries her will have it rough.”

I realized my thoughts were probably triggered by all the fiddling with the wedding ring I’d done leading up to this, but considering the sheer stupidity of entertained thoughts during the scolding, I bit down on my lower lip to shake them off.

“Since you arrived late, I’ve prepared fresh stew instead of the cold one. Be careful as the temperature is quite hot when you feed it to the Saintess. Moreover, with things like bell peppers, which aren’t to her taste, it has become quite common recently for them to spit it out after tasting. So, please make sure she chews and swallows properly instead of just rolling it around in her mouth.”

“Uh, yes…”

As she handed me the food tray and detailed the things I needed to watch out for, she reminded me of an overly protective mother sending her child off to daycare for the first time.

“Now that I look, your priest robe and hair are all disheveled. Let me help you fix that, so just hold still.”

“Oh, there’s no need to…”

“Just hold still.”

Trapped with my hands full, I tried to step back to escape the attentive sister, but she closed the distance in a flash, thwarting my escape attempt.

“The Saintess’s attendant must always maintain a perfect appearance. Remember, the priest’s conduct reflects on the reputation of the Saintess.”

As a man, I had imagined a few scenarios where my new wife would tie my necktie, but it became painfully clear that my current situation was far from that.

Her icy gaze conveyed that she felt nothing, simply performing her duties with precision.

If the strong presence beneath her thick cloak didn’t overshadow the chill in the air, I might have felt like I was suffocating from the overwhelming tension.

“You need to be more aware of your esteemed position as a priest.”

“But, I might quit in a week anyway…”

“Don’t say foolish things.”

Suddenly, the sister pinched my ear like a teacher reprimanding a student caught daydreaming.

Her hypersensitivity to my usual quitting remarks was understandable, given her insistence that I’d rejoin the Hero Party after the blessing ceremony.

I cunningly navigated that conversation to grasp whether I could consider my safety to be in the Vatican’s hands until that ceremony was over, where she had become determined to keep me stuck here.

“I will never quit.”

“Haha… That’s quite a joke…”

Thus, the conversation we briefly shared to catch our breath felt more like a noose tightening around my neck.

Deciding to throw out a question I had been holding back…

“By the way, how’s the Saintess doing…?”

“Why do you suddenly ask about the Saintess’s condition?”

“Uh, well, it’s just that, I was worried you might be a little upset because I came late… Was there anything bothering you…?”

“Ah, you meant that? I thought something was wrong with the Saintess’s health…”

“The sister is always taking care of the Saintess, so how could anything be wrong? Ha. Haha… So… how is she…?”

Just as a sense of relief started to bubble up like incense, she delivered the knockout punch.

“She’s incredibly upset.”

Almost dropping the food tray from the shock felt like my heart was pierced, but the sister caught my balance just in time.

Though a bigger crisis still loomed ahead.

*