The Priest Wants to Retire

〈 Chapter 76 〉 Secret Weapon

*

Actually, there was just one secret plan that could be called a last resort.

The risks involved were significant, and it was essentially a petty act of intimidation, if not outright coercion.

It was a method so extreme that I had no choice but to seal it away on a moral level.

Self-harm.

Why the Saintess, who couldn’t care less if she got hurt, would freak out at the slightest drop of my blood remained a mystery for now.

But I had already clearly witnessed its power when it restored the human-turned-corpse, Priest Ranobel, back to his original form.

Do you know the genius who became a corpse?

Yes. I’ve seen him in person.

So if I were to stab myself just like that day…

It was clear that the Saintess’ stubbornness, resembling an angry bull, would crumble helplessly in an instant.

Slurp.

“Uh, uh huh?”

The tension in the Saintess’ voice started to stir a pale fear the very moment I slowly revealed the blade hidden in my rosary.

“No, don’t. Please stop. I hate blood.”

Did she suddenly catch on to what I was about to do?

With a tragic wail, the Saintess tugged at my clothes.

Her eyes were filled with a sense of bewilderment, as if she’d relived a horrific moment she wanted to forget.

The feelings emanating from her frail, fern-like hands, trembling like a twig in a tempest, conveyed fear. No, it was closer to terror.

That utterly delicate appearance reminded me of a child who had done something wrong, standing before an adult wielding a switch.

“If I get hurt… it’ll hurt… a lot… Welna doesn’t hurt… but if it’s not Welna, it’ll hurt a lot… I hate that… more than Welna being hurt…”

The Saintess buried her face in my waist, her desperate heart evident as she hopped around in place, trying to convey her feelings to me.

This was the crucial moment.

If I could just show a firm attitude here to discipline the Saintess, not only could I make her awkward demands dissipate, but I might also pave the way for smoother sailing in the future.

If I just closed my eyes and punched a hole in my hand, it might just be possible to correct the Saintess’ bad habit of thrusting her lips at me at random times.

Nothing gives a child’s behavior more suppression than fear.

Fortunately, having experience with punctured hands, I was somewhat more adept than others.

I was filled with the courage to create a bloodless wound in my hand, akin to a freshman deciding to get their ears pierced.

But.

Was this really the right course of action? The question nagged at me.

No matter how much I wanted to correct the Saintess’ bad habit, was it really right to intimidate her with such a violent method when her self-awareness was just starting to form?

From an educational perspective and a moral one, this just didn’t feel right.

Besides, the one who had scolded the Saintess for poking a fork into her own hand when her demands weren’t met was none other than me.

Intimidating the Saintess with self-harm was no different from pouring the last of my drinking water to extinguish the fire in front of me—an utterly foolish act after much contemplation.

Even if the job might end next week, it was still a place I had grown fond of.

I certainly couldn’t drop a giant bomb as a retirement gift.

Therefore, in the end, I had to retract that ominous choice and put the blade back where it belonged.

“Don’t worry, Saintess. I was just checking to see if the blade was rusty.”

“You’re not serious… are you?”

“Of course not…”

“Then can I poke you just a little?”

“Th-that…”

The Saintess looked up at me with eyes filled with a cautious curiosity, asking in a tone far more careful than usual.

With my secret card now discarded by my own will, I no longer had a reliable means of quelling the Saintess’ fervent desires.

What remained in my hands was nothing more than an uncertain means with dubious chances of success, which could even lead to worse trouble.

Thinking about it, it might be better not to do it at all.

“Alright, Saintess. I’ll do it. I can do it, right…”

“Really? I can do anything Welna wants?”

“Yes… but there are conditions…”

“Con… ditions…?”

As I patted the Saintess’ head, who was tilting her head in doubt, I reached for the notebook hidden in my inner pocket.

◈◈◈

The story about a lamp spirit that grants three wishes to its master.

There may not be exact parallels, but similar tales certainly existed within this system.

Therefore, discussing what wishes to make with friends when such treasures were found was one of those deeply enjoyable pastimes that allowed us to waste our downtime without spending a dime.

Gazing intently at the flickering campfire, each of us holding something to drink and eat, sharing our heartfelt wishes was unimaginably delightful.

“I wish for world peace! I dream of a beautiful future where everyone around the world can eat to their fill and live without conflict! That’s my wish as a hero!”

“I would wish for fairy tale books. I’d want all the fairy tales from around the world laid out before me. And every lost tome returned!”

“Wow! You guys are keen on such suspicious stuff, huh? Though imagining those scenarios is undeniably interesting. Let me see, I’d wish for humanity’s average intelligence to match mine. Though naturally, it’s impossible.”

“I hope my sister gets married soon…”

“Hey! Did you all hear that!? B-big Tim just spoke! He said it in such a tiny voice that I barely caught it, but he spoke!”

“Apis… what’s with the random nonsense? Of all people, that Big Tim would never speak before a woman other than a hero… He would be bedridden for three days just from a village maiden’s flower thrown at him!”

“No, I’m serious! It’s true! Hey! Hero! You heard it too, right?!”

“I didn’t hear anything!”

“See? Even the Hero didn’t catch it.”

“Ah, to hell with it! Seriously! Hey! Priest, you heard it, right!? You were sitting right next to Big Tim!”

“Um… well, anything, anything… I wish for the lottery win… No, that’s not it… I wish to meet a wealthy and beautiful spouse and live my life in luxury… Yeah, not bad… Actually, maybe a harem would be more fitting…”

“Hey─!!!”

That delightful exchange with my companions still plays in my mind whenever I close my eyes.

After all, wishes can be said to be the magical word that stimulates and expands human imagination in various directions.

Moreover, when the opportunities are limited, most people, knowing it’s just a fanciful notion, cannot quickly rein in the soaring imagination that bloats like a waterlogged sponge.

And sometimes, this flood of thoughts even dulls human judgment.

Flap.

Desperately hoping for my hypothesis to align favorably, I suddenly showed the paper I had been scrawling on to the Saintess.

“Saintess, can you read what’s written on this paper?”

“Hmm…?”

It seemed she had a rough understanding of how to pronounce the words written on the paper, but she couldn’t even begin to guess what it contained.

「One-time Wish Granting Ticket. (Only valid until midnight today）」

It felt like a lifetime’s gamble was about to begin.

◈◈◈

“Time isn’t a luxury we have…”

With her forehead gently resting against the firmly closed door of the Meeting Room, Beltein suddenly murmured her determination into the air.

Time had been bought.

For the next seven days during the Blessing Ceremony, the Priest’s well-being had been assured by the Hero Party that it still belonged to the Vatican.

Being responsible, she had no doubt that he wouldn’t run away during a ceremony tied to the survival of humanity.

While the duration was far from sufficient, it was enough time to test all the means she had prepared.

Negotiations. Magic. Rumors. Remedies.

She had endless options.

No matter if deemed shabby or despicable, she couldn’t care less.

As long as she could achieve her objective, she was willing to cast aside her own dignity and prestige.

If he just moved as she wished, she had long since resolved herself to strip down and flirt like a streetwalker.

Yet these were merely secondary measures for Beltein.

The most reliable means to bind the Priest to the Saintess—what she regarded as her secret weapon—was something entirely different.

“I must somehow get Priest Regis to reach out to Welna!”

The moment she resolved her decision, she happened to hear from her fellow Sisters that the Priest was destined to marry someone.

*