The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

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“Wha-what’s going on, everyone? Your faces look scary!”

The three Ministers surrounded Pochi and crouched down.

“Pochi.”

“We have a question.”

“A very important question.”

“Are you aware of the laboratory?”

“His Majesty’s laboratory?”

“And the beaker that has gone missing?”

“IT is important.”

“Please answer seriously.”

Leon, Warren, and Bright took turns closing in on Pochi.

Suddenly, Pochi clapped her front paws as if she had remembered something.

“Oh, that beaker! That’s the new Pochibitan D, isn’t it!? It smelled so good I couldn’t help but drink a little! It was fruity and delicious!”

“”!?””

“What the hell!? YOU’re the culprit!?”

Just then, Asley pushed through the three, showing his anger.

“What!? What’s this about!?”

“We’ve been looking for that beaker!”

“Wait, you mean… I’m the thief!?”

“Damn right you are! You said you only drank a little, so there should be some left, right!? Where is it now!?”

“Huh? It’s in the kitchen…”

“All right, got it!” Asley shouted as he dashed towards the kitchen.

He returned in seconds, holding the beaker. But it was empty.

“…Uh, so, there’s nothing in it.”

Asley trembled as he held the empty beaker.

Warren suddenly recalled Pochi’s earlier words.

“Bright… did you eat the stew?”

“Huh? Yes, I did… Didn’t you recommend it, Warren?”

“Warren, you recommended it to me too…”

Bright and Leon’s remarks made Warren freeze — almost as still as a stone statue. Truly a rare occurrence.

Seeing Warren’s reaction, Leon and Bright realized something too.

“Your Majesty… that was not a finished product, was it?”

Leon asked Asley in a trembling voice.

“No, it wasn’t. I still have no idea about the one last ingredient we’ll need to actually complete it.”

“It’s definitely safe even if mixed into the stew, yes?”

Bright’s voice clearly showed his anxiety.

“Stew? It has all kinds of ingredients, so there shouldn’t be any problem… But why ask about stew now?”

“Oh, come on! What is this thing you keep talking about? Isn’t it just a new flavor of Pochibitan D? I thought it would make everyone healthier, so I added it to the stew!”

In an instant, Asley froze — even more still than Warren.

Leon covered his eyes, Bright held his head, and Warren stood like a statue.

Asley then started fuming.

“YOU IDIOT! That was a prototype of the Drop of Eternity!!”

The three immediately tried to cover Asley’s mouth.

Asley mumbled angrily, but the three knew they could not let this slip.

Pochi, starting to understand the situation, began to turn to stone.

“…W-wha… Drop of… Eternity…?”

Warren finally regained his composure.

“Asley! Use your appraisal glasses! Check me and Bright! NOW!”

Warren’s guess was close to the mark, despite his lingering agitation.

“B-but my appraisal glasses can’t identify THAT detail!”

Indeed, Asley’s glasses were not that powerful.

“Then what do we do!?”

Bright tried to think, but his mind could not function under the stress.

Amidst the chaos, a loud, resounding laugh echoed through the Devil King’s chamber.

“Nahahahahahaha! Looks like you’re in trouble, Ash!”

Only one person in the world would dare speak to the Devil King so boldly.

And she alone could save these people in distress.

“Mel!?”

“Melchi! Helloooooo!”

Melchi, with her Evil Eyes of Information Revelation, could see through what Asley’s glasses could not.

As she approached the five from the balcony, she spoke,

“You know, I quite enjoyed the Devil King’s Cup! Very fun! Who knew there’d be such a surprise, eh?”

Melchi’s usual carefree manner did not at all match the mental state of Asley and the others.

Asley rushed to her at blinding speed, shaking her small frame with his divine strength.

“Hurry! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!”

“All right, all right, I got it! Now, let’s see…”

Melchi invoked the powers of her Evil Eyes, accompanied by a mysterious light, examining Bright and Warren, who were not supposed to possess eternal life.

“S-so…? How are they?”

Melchi’s eyes glowed as she scrutinized the two men. The light gradually faded, and the tension in the room was palpable.

After a moment of silence, Melchi coughed to clear her throat and slowly made her way back to the balcony. Her odd behavior left everyone frozen in place.

“Thanks for the stew! It was DELICIOUS! See you in another hundred years♪”

Melchi, a disciple of the Tūs the Philosopher of the Far East, and a classmate of Gaston and Irene, knew one could not live another century naturally.

“Oh, I gotta bring some of the stew for Gaspard too!”

The stew served at the party in the Devil King’s Royal Castle had to be the key.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

“This stew is so rich and delicious!” said Irene.

“Well, Warren did recommend it, so it ought to be good…” said Gaston.

“In that case, I’ll have to try some too♪” said Lina.

“I’ll go get some for you,” offered Haruhana.

“I’ve never had stew before… So this is what it tastes like…” said Tifa.

“With this, I’ll capture Sir Asley’s heart!” declared Fuyu.

“Oh-ho, not bad at all…” commented Lylia.

“Well, would ya look at that! There’s plenty left! Perfect with some drinks! I’ll have some too!” shouted Bruce.

“Hold it right there! Give me some too, big brother!” Betty demanded.

“It does look tasty,” Blazer added.

“I’ll pass the pot around! Everyone should have some!” Natsu exclaimed.

“I’ll help serve it, too!” Itsuki joined in.

In the end, everyone got a taste of the stew…

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

The reason Melchi turned toward the balcony was that she had foreseen what lay ahead: a massive argument between Asley the Eternal Fool and his Familiar Pochi.

“Why do you always do this!?” Asley shouted.

“It’s because you don’t lock the lab, Master!” Pochi retorted.

“It WAS locked! You’re the only other one who knows how to open it!”

“It’s your fault for teaching me how to open it!”

“Yeah, because I didn’t expect you to steal the beaker, dammit!”

“I didn’t steal it! I tasted it!”

“What if it had been poison?”

“Did you forget you killed an Ogre King with my super-strong stomach acid!?”

By now, Leon, Warren, and Bright had left the Devil King’s chamber.

The three sprinted around desperately at blinding speed, but in front of the plates of stew everyone had eaten, they could do nothing but kneel in defeat.

Thus, the Eternal Kingdom was completed in the year of its founding, and the chronicles would record this day as follows:

The Devil King’s first and greatest failure.

But who could say that this would be the last of such incidents?

After all, he was–

“You Goddamned furball!”

“You fool!”

–the Eternal Fool.

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