The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

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“Hmm, here it is… From ‘Chapter 075 – Truly…’: ‘Humans’ perseverance with life illustrated how much of an interesting creature they are’… Actually, no — while it’s true that many of those around the Devil King are peculiar, this isn’t about me. From ‘Chapter 076 – Baladd’s Revolution, Revisited’: ‘I have heard that one would see their life flash before their eyes when they die, but now all I see is a smiling four-winged dragon in all its deathly innocent glory.’ Hehehe! Ah, yes! During his battle with Baladd, the Devil King had a near-death experience! …This part isn’t about me, either. Now, enough distractions. From ‘Chapter 078 – The Philosopher’s Stone?’: ‘It is possible for one to trip on nothing, even on flat ground with absolutely no debris’… Indeed, a profound truth.”

Tarawo’s words made Patty nod enthusiastically.

“Fwahahaha! So, you stumble too, young lady! I knew you would understand! Anyway, let’s move on… ‘Chapter 103 – Brigadier Viola’: ‘Sometimes, the extraordinary strength of one’s opponent’s pull can cause one’s field of vision to draw a semi-circle.’ Ah, this part — at the time, the girl who left just now, Fuyu, got so excited when she learned that the Devil King would teach her the Teleportation spell… But this isn’t about me. Ah, here I am, being distracted again. ‘Chapter 104 – This Looks Good Enough’: ‘The more calm one is, the more trivial things tend to cross one’s mind’… No, I’m not here. ‘Chapter 125 – Asley the Alchemist’: ‘I’d known that I shouldn’t, but I’d gone and done it anyway.’…Indeed, there were times when I felt the same. When I ate Tifa’s snacks, I thought I might actually die. ‘Chapter 138 – Masaki and Randolph’: ‘Be it love or friendship or anything else, they all need money to go around!’ Hmph! What’s wrong with liking money, Devil King? ‘Chapter 139 – To Hold a Spoon’: ‘Money sure makes the world go round, no matter how small one’s world may be’… Hmm, we’ve entered the so-called time travel arc, ‘Lost in Antiquity.’ My introduction should not be much further! ‘Chapter 173 – Hell and Heaven’: ‘People can be caught off guard when they find themselves in a predicament’ Hmm… not yet?”

Despite Tarawo’s growing impatience, Patty smiled as she listened.

Then, another voice joined Tarawo’s,

“”From ‘Chapter 184 – The Midnight Prowler’…””

“Hmm!?”

“…’For in-person meetings, perhaps, but I hadn’t known that the ahead-of-time courtesy applied to instant calls as well.’ This is where the Devil King inserted his own commentary: ‘Even prior notifications need a prior notification.'”

Tarawo spun around, finding a different woman standing there.

“Oh, Tifa! You have returned! Look here, we have a guest! She came here by recommendation! I was guiding her through the store!”

“Yeah, I heard — Itsuki sent you, right? I rushed back here after getting a Telepathic Call from Fuyu, saying she was checking in since she didn’t hear me answer her. So… are you doing all right? My dog didn’t do anything strange, did he?”

Tifa’s gaze softened warmly as she looked at Patty.

However, her glance towards Tarawo was as dark and foreboding as an Ogre’s.

Patty, caught in the contrasting emotions, managed an awkward smile and shook her head.

“Fwahahaha! See? My hospitality is at the level of the Devil King’s! Tifa, we will soon dominate the world!”

“One step at a time. First, I’ll become the Magic University’s Headmaster.”

“Hmm? So you’re… accepting that offer?”

“Yeah. The old man is ready to retire any day now.”

“Hmm, I suppose even Tangalán has his limits… But what about your house?”

“I’ll still live here. The commute isn’t an issue.”

“And your citizenship?”

“I’ll use my connections to work something out.”

“…You really are becoming more of a Dark Ruler with each passing day.”

“What was that?”

“Ah, nothing — I’ll go clean the restroom!”

“Good.”

Tarawo saluted with his right forepaw and disappeared into the restroom at the back of the shop.

Then, Tifa turned back to Patty.

“He’s not mentioned much in there, actually,” Tifa remarked while glancing at the Principles of a Philosopher.

Patty picked it up from the floor and held it in her arms.

“Of course, there are character bios for everyone, but it’s mostly like a memoir of the Devil King, so you really have to comb through it if you’re looking for specific things,” Tifa explained with a wry smile, prompting a chuckle from Patty. “From ‘Chapter 186 – Disturbance’: ‘Be it from my Familiar, my ‘son,’ my student, or a baby, I have a myriad of things to learn. Annotation: Everyone learns what they need when they need to’… From ‘Chapter 220 – A Father’: ‘a subconscious response of respect. Annotation: Holy Emperor Hudl’s first impression’… That’s how he writes things. As messy as it is as a whole, I particularly love these parts about the past. I’ve read them over and over again and have the best parts memorized.”

As Patty smiled at Tifa’s bashful expression, she glanced once more at the Principles of a Philosopher.

The words ‘Author: The Grand Philosopher’ on the cover caught her attention.

Whether it was Bruce earlier, Tarawo, or now Tifa, everyone seemed drawn to those words ‘Grand Philosopher.’

Patty pointed to the text and looked at Tifa.

“Hmm? What is it? Are you saying you want to meet the Devil King?”

Tifa asked, crossing her arms, to which Patty nodded eagerly.

“You can’t just meet the head of a nation so easily– Actually, wait… maybe you COULD if you–“

“–I’m back!”

Fuyu’s voice interrupted their conversation.

Tifa noticed and clapped her hands.

“Fuyu, I need you to run an errand.”

“Huh? But I just got back!”

“Take her… THERE.”

“Huh? Why? You mean… she wants to see the Devil King?”

Tifa nodded. Fuyu smiled at Patty and, after letting out a sharp sigh, slowly approached the latter.

“All right. Let’s go right now!”

Placing her hand on Patty’s shoulder, Fuyu led her toward the shop’s entrance.

Then, as if remembering something, she spoke to Tifa,

“By the way, what’s the manager doing? Didn’t he say he’d be coming in today?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you — He said he was heading directly to the Devil King’s Castle. Incognito this time.”

“I see. Well then, I’m off!”

Satisfied with Tifa’s explanation, Fuyu led Patty out of the shop.

They were heading through the lush greenery of the north district — to what lay beyond.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

“Oh? What brings you here, Fuyu? What about Miss Lina?”

A man glanced around as soon as he spotted Fuyu.

Fuyu sighed deeply at his expected course of action.

“Don’t assume Lina and I would always be together, Egd.”

“Hahaha! Sorry, sorry! So, what’s up?”

“Well, I should be asking you that — What are YOU here, Egd?”

Fuyu and Patty looked at Egd, who was carrying baskets filled with crops on both shoulders.

“I thought Miss Lina might be here at Lala Farm, but I got caught by Natsu — and so, since I had some free time, I thought I’d lend a hand. That’s the gist of it.”

Indeed, this was the former site of Faltown, now known as the Lala Farm.

It had grown to dominate agriculture worldwide, with visits from other nations being quite common.

“Hey! Egd! No slacking off!”

A voice from afar made Egd flinch.

“Natsu!”

Fuyu spotted Natsu running towards them.

Natsu seemed to notice Fuyu’s presence as well.

“Oh? I wasn’t expecting you today, Fuyu! Is Lina here, too?”

“Uh… Why does everyone seem to think Lina and I would always come together…?”

“Don’t you often come to search for the Devil King with her?”

Natsu tilted her head, prompting Fuyu to hold her own head in her hands.

[Right! I didn’t think about that…!]

“So, what do you need today?”

It seemed inappropriate to respond to Natsu’s question at this moment. Deciding such, Fuyu saw no option but to remain silent.

Then, Patty stepped forward. She presented her copy of the Principles of a Philosopher and pointed to the author’s name.

“So you ARE looking for him!”

“Well, yeah… But I’m doing this for her this time, you know…”

As Fuyu’s shoulders slumped, a man approached from behind her and spoke quietly.

“Unfortunately, he’s not here.”

“Sir Blazer!”

Fuyu turned to see Blazer, who was carrying more than double the amount of crops Egd had.

Blazer also noticed the book Patty was holding.

“Hmm? That’s a copy of the Principles of a Philosopher… I see. But unfortunately for you, he has guests today, so he’s probably busy attending to them.”

At Blazer’s words, Patty finally remembered.

Yes, at this very moment, — her father Gaspard and her mother Melchi were likely in a conversation with the Devil King at the Royal Castle.

Understanding this, Patty sighed disappointedly.

A woman laid her hand on Patty’s shoulder.

“You know what? I’ll take you there!”

“Wha–!? Are you sure, Miss Betty!? I mean, it doesn’t look like today’s work is done yet!”

The woman behind Patty was none other than Betty.

Egd pointed at her, but Betty nonchalantly pointed back at Egd.

“It’s fine! We have enough manpower to make up the difference!”

“You mean ME!? Why!?”

“Oh c’mon, aren’t you the Commander of the Warrior Guardians Brigade? This should be a breeze for you.”

As Betty fluttered her hand, Egd’s reaction was anything but positive.

Despite Egd’s dissatisfaction, however, Betty proceeded to whisper something that instantly altered his demeanor.

“Really!? You promise!?”

“Yeah, sure thing. I never lie!”

With a thump to her chest, Betty offered her assurance, prompting Patty and Fuyu to exchange quizzical looks.

The trio — Betty, Fuyu, and Patty — walked south from Lala Farm towards the Royal Castle.

“Heh… so the Pochisley Agency still has copies left in their stock, huh?”

As Betty flipped through the pages of the Principles of a Philosopher, Fuyu said,

“The Devil King’s Storeroom still has around three million copies left.”

“Ahahaha! That’s hilarious! Well, nothing to cry over, I guess? It’s self-published, after all.”

“But Tifa and Lina are buying a copy every single day, you know?”

“What about you, Fuyu?”

“Three copies a day!”

Betty burst into laughter at Fuyu’s enthusiastic admission.

She then hoisted the Principles of a Philosopher onto her shoulder before speaking.

“I’m preeeeeety sure they were lying when they told you that.”

“Huh!? A-are you sure!? I’ve always suspected that, but…!”

“Yeah, they’re probably buying as many copies as you are.”

Watching their exchange, Patty glanced back and forth between them.

Betty then reopened the book and pointed to a specific page.

“I really like this part where a Devil appears.”

“Oh, yes, I remember you mentioning that before.”

“‘Chapter 236 – A Devil’: ‘Oh, humans, always thinking about unrelated stuff in the face of fear. Annotation: There’s quite a bit of relevant connection to ‘Chapter 173 – Hell and Heaven’. The Devil King REALLY likes to write his stuff this way…”

With a wry smile, Fuyu suddenly raised her index finger.

“I like the part a little bit after that.”

“Hmm? You mean like… from ‘Chapter 244 – The Last Piece’: ‘Even whenever we got into arguments and fought, she’d still stay close to me’… This is about Pochi, right? Well, it’s true that wherever the Devil King is, that little glutton is always around. That’s one thing that never changes.”

“There’s also this from ‘Chapter 257 – The Stable Loop of Repayment’: ‘a son ought to grow up strong, proud of his father’s wide back bulging with MUSCLE!’ It’s pretty funny — and the conclusion he added, ‘Children grow from their father’s backbone!’ got a chuckle out of me.”

“Well, in this part he’s talking about Chappie, so that makes sense — that Chicken is probably always complimenting the Devil King’s backbone.”

Patty, puzzled by these remarks, turned to Betty with a confused expression.

“Oh, sorry if you’re having a hard time keeping up — See, there’s Pochi, who’s the Devil King’s Familiar, and then there’s the Violet Phoenix Chappie, who’s their son…”

Patty found herself even more confused by this explanation.

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