The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

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“Ahh, no, this isn’t it. Where’d I even mess this thing up…? I know that the Perfect Invisibility spell involves momentarily blocking arcane energy flow, and then using a time limit formula to release it in order to successfully invoke it, but when the time limit formula is incorporated into the Spell Circle, why is it that the moment the arcane energy is released, my presence gets revealed? Did I put it in the wrong position? Wait, no, if I did, the Circle would have lost its balance, in which case… should I expand the property’s parent Spell Circle to preserve the balance? Wait, no, that’ll make it disproportionate with the formula characters, so it’s meaningless. Hmm… I just don’t get it…”

“Master, it’s time you went outside for a change, I say!”

“What, Pochi, haven’t we been in this cave for only 80 minutes? Isn’t it too fast to give up?”

The so-called Land of Beginnings… It was the dungeon where Asley and Pochi had spent countless hours together.

As soon as they had arrived, Asley had begun his research.

“It’s not just eighty minutes! Do you remember what time we got here, sir!?”

“Uh… nine o’clock… maybe?”

“It was six! And now it’s already two in the afternoon! That means we’ve been here for EIGHT HOURS! Do you know how many times my stomach has growled, sir!?”

Pochi was stunned by Asley’s quick response.

“How do you know that!?”

“Because I am a Philosopher!”

“Nah, It’s just because we’ve been together so long… you fool.”

“Now, remember my words of wisdom, Pochi — From ‘Chapter 418 – Most Foolish Moment’: ‘One must start a fool if they want to be a true Philosopher’!”

“Who cares about being a Philosopher!? We have special guests coming today, don’t we!? Can’t you pull yourself together and act HALF-DECENT for a few hours!?”

“From ‘Chapter 439 – Magitek’s Diversity’: ‘A humble life is preferable over high society’!”

“No, what you actually wrote for that chapter was ‘Chaotic ordinary days make once unaccustomed to taking it easy once in a while’! How can the author misquote his own work? That’s why these books of yours don’t sell!”

“Gah! How could you say that!?”

“In contrast, Itsuki’s ‘The Principles of Itsuki’ was a best-seller! Twenty million copies worldwide!! Remember that, sir!?”

“Grr… why does THAT book sell so well…?”

“Because Itsuki’s methods actually revitalized the economy! And what about you? Remember the complaint we got from the bookstore on release day? Not a single copy sold! How are you going to deal with the remaining four million copies? Is your Storeroom designed to be an endless pit of books!? What are you going to do!?”

Asley, feeling as though his heart had been pierced, collapsed in a fit of rapid breathing and palpitations.

Despite his suffering, Pochi was undeterred.

Asley, struggling to rise, muttered tearfully,

“Shit, shit, shit… it’s Giorno’s fault! It’s a curse, I swear…!”

“He called it a blessing, though.”

“Just because he bought ONE copy doesn’t mean I’ll forgive him, damn it…!”

“I remember you drooling with joy when Giorno asked for your autograph, though?”

“Damn it! I’m still happy about that! I can’t stop grinning!”

“Then be grateful to him, sir.”

“Oh, my God… I am SO grateful…!”

Asley knelt on the ground, clasped his hands together, and prayed to God.

Suddenly, Pochi’s ears twitched, and Asley’s eyes widened.

“…Looks like your guest is here, sir.”

“Yeah…”

The two emerged from the cave.

Asley and Pochi greeted Chappie Mask and Patty as they descended from the sky.

Pochi commended Chappie Mask for his landing… while Asley smiled at Patty.

Behind Patty, Pochi ‘transformed’ into Pocchie Mask and began playing with Chappie Mask.

Despite the joyful sounds from behind, Patty chose to move forward.

Or rather, her steps naturally led her to Asley, the Devil King.

Clutching her copy of ‘Principles of a Philosopher,’ Patty approached Asley, whose large, strong hand extended toward her.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Asley. Though now, I find myself in the unlikely role of Devil King. What’s your name?”

Patty could not answer.

Whether from the nerves of standing before the Devil King or the awe of his arcane energy, she was unsure.

“Hahaha… That’s fine, too. Now, could I have a moment of your time?”

Asley pointed toward the depths of the forest.

Patty immediately understood this as a sign to relocate.

Pochi and Chappie, who normally accompanied Asley, were absent.

It was only Patty following behind him.

Soon, a lake came into view.

Asley sat on the grass, crossing his legs, and gazed at Patty — no, he scrutinized her.

Patty could feel the fluctuations of his arcane energy as he saw right through her.

“I see… so you’re Mel and Gaspard’s kid, huh?”

Marveling at his keen insight, Patty realized Asley had invoked the power of his Appraisal Glasses.

“You have good eyes, just like Mel. Or perhaps it’s Gaspard’s influence. I see… right, please sit here.”

Asley directed Patty to sit in front of him and drew up a magic circle in the air.

“Rise, Storeroom.”

This was the very same Storeroom he had once used to protect his companions from Devil King Lucifer.

Reaching inside, Asley pulled out a certain item — accompanied by several copies of Principles of a Philosopher.

“Ha… hahaha… No, I don’t need these for now.”

Laughing, he returned the books to the Storeroom and offered the item to Patty.

She placed her own copy of Principles of a Philosopher beside her and took what he handed her.

Patty’s small hands of a ten-year-old child cradled a small fruit.

It appeared black, white, and iridescent all at once, shifting colors with every slight change in angle.

It looked quite magical indeed. She turned her gaze back to Asley.

“That is the Mythic Fruit. Eleven years ago… Pochi, Chappie, and I went to retrieve it. God called it the ‘tastiest in the world,’ but… frankly, He was not quite right. I knew Pochi would inevitably drag me there. Well, technically, it was me who went along with her. We managed to get it, but neither Pochi’s fangs, Chappie’s beak, nor my strength or magic could damage its outer skin. But we did manage to discover the benefits the Mythic Fruit bestows.”

Asley pointed to his glasses.

“Using these Appraisal Glasses. You understand, don’t you?”

Asley looked at Patty, speaking as he gazed into her mismatched eyes.

“When you arrived, I realized it. You’ve inherited Mel’s Evil Eyes. And within them resides the essence of Gaspard’s… or rather, Lucifer’s Evil Eyes as well. That’s why Giorno, our God, chose you.”

Asley continued, careful and deliberate with his words.

“You’re aware that your parents are beings who live for eternity, aren’t you?”

Patty quietly nodded.

“Mel and Gaspard… you carry their blood, and with it, their power. Mel’s Evil Eyes should have shown you that… But you’re not Undead. Neither Pochi nor I are, either. This is due to the power of the Mythic Fruit… the power of immortality. This fruit is called such because God and Devilkin alike covet its power.”

It sounded like a fairy tale, an unbelievable story, yet there was no falsehood in Asley’s words. Patty could sense this truth.

“Your Evil Eyes hold many secrets. They might even unravel the mysteries of the Mythic Fruit. That’s why God chose you… Sorry, I might be going too fast. Do you understand what I’m implying?”

Patty saw the sincerity in Asley’s kind eyes.

She slowly, but firmly, nodded.

“Exactly. Your task is… to destroy the Mythic Fruit. The allure of immortality is tempting, but that’s not the point. No matter how well I hide it in the Storeroom, it could eventually be discovered or stolen. Imagine if someone with ill intent obtained the Mythic Fruit. The thought alone is terrifying. Even if they can’t bite into it, they could swallow it whole. This is something the world must not possess. You see, without considering that, I wrote about the Mythic Fruit in Principles of a Philosopher. That’s why Giorno placed a blessing in the form of a curse on the book, to ensure only the righteous could read it. For someone like you to eventually appear before me.”

Asley clasped Patty’s hands around the Mythic Fruit.

“I don’t know how long it will take, but that’s why you need to take a Drop of Eternity. I’m certain the great incident from that day wasn’t a mere coincidence… Everyone who ingested a Drop of Eternity did so for a reason. All those who will aid you now are connected to that day — That is what I believe. Of course, Pochi, Lina, Chappie, and I will help you too!”

The strong, gentle warmth of Asley’s grip transmitted to Patty’s hands.

“You are the one who will save everyone’s future.”

Patty gave no verbal response, but her resolute eyes spoke volumes to Asley.

Smiling, Asley stood up and looked calmly behind him.

Patty saw and felt the trembling trees and the shaking earth.

“…Oh, wonderful. Right in the middle of our conversation…”

From the forest beyond the lake, a massive monster emerged.

“A Chaos Lizard, huh? I thought they were extinct already.”

Facing the powerful SS-ranked monster, Patty’s face tensed — but she felt no fear.

It was not because she had survived the Far East Wasteland, nor because she knew the Tūs, the Philosopher of the Far East.

It was the overwhelming presence of Asley, the Devil King, that dispelled her fear.

The mighty, gentle arcane energy of the Devil King surged, resonating with Patty’s Evil Eyes.

――――――――――――――――――――

ASLEY

LV: 948

HP: 1,230,917

HP： 20,190,930

EXP： 123,123,123,123

SPECIAL SKILLS: 

–Attack Magic (Zenith)

–Support Magic (Zenith)

–Recovery Magic (Zenith)

–Purification (Zenith)

–Fortify Strength

–Fortify Resilience

–Blinding Speed

–Flight

–Fortify Mind

TITLES:

–The Eternal Fool

–Hermit

–Zenith Mage

–Zenith-class Alchemist

–Staff Deity

–True Duodecad Founder

–Honored Teacher

–Rank S

–Top Student

–Papa

–SS Slayer

–World Guardian Mage

–Wind Deity

–Ancient Slayer

–Great Devil King

–Billion Magician

–Heavenly Beast’s Father

–Champion’s Master

–Hero of the World

–Iron Heart

–Diamond Senses

–Holy Emperor’s Employer

–Investigator

–Apostle Slayer

–Skyruler

–Dragon Slayer

–Dreamgrasper

–Revenger

–Protector of Five Heavens

–Instructor of Prodigies

–Three-Devil Reaper

–Boundary Specialist

–Devil King Slayer

–One Acknowledged By Legends

–Granter of Courage

–Instructor of Archmages

–Masked Superhero

–Friend of War Demon Emperors

–Time Master

–The Resistance

–Friend of Black Emperors

–Undoer of Seals

–Sparring Partner of Elves

–Infiltrator

–Abductor

–Soybean Maniac

–Iron Guard

–Fiddler of Three Kings

–Teleporter

–Even Worse Utter Disgrace

–The Leader

–Magitek User

–Thunder Deity

–Defender of the World

–Human Shield

–Zombie

–Grand Master’s Benefactor

–Roof Crusher

–Bed Crusher

–The Insensitive

–The Investigator

–Defier of Three Devil Kings

–Lucifer Breaker

–Infinite Hope

–Magitek Grandmaster

–Lucifer Phobia

–Hundred Million Phobias

–Ten Million Kills

–The Invisible Man

–Dimension Wanderer

–Clumsy Healer

–The Thinker

–Troublesome

–The Enlightened

–Earth Kisser

–Brainwasher

–Lala Farm Benefactor

–Shamanesses’ Secret Friend

–Prophecy Fabricator

–Behind-the-scenes

–The Ghost (lol)

–Red Wings

–Conquerer of Devil King’s Chestpocket

–God’s Best Friend

–Bruce’s Friendly Neighborhood Wallet

–Grave Robber

–Priest

–Deby King

–Ox Matchmaker

–Filthy Rich

–War Demon Emperor Benefactor

–Figurehead

–Name With Public Reputation

–King of Tiny Throne

–Veterinarian

–Dancer of Black Emperors’ Hands

–Prize of the Devil King Cup

–God Drug Distributor

–Grand Philosopher (Penname)

–Supporting Character In The Principles of Itsuki

–Beloved By All

――――――――――――――――――――

“…Wow.”

Patty’s breath caught in awe as she witnessed Asley’s unparalleled power, a force even God could not foresee.

Asley’s ears did not catch her astonished whisper.

After effortlessly blowing away the Chaos Lizard with sheer arcane energy, Asley turned around.

From afar, the voices of Pochi and Chappie echoed.

“Master!!”

“Father!!”

“”We’re hungry!!!!””

Asley chuckled at their cries, then looked at Patty.

She stood, holding both Principles of a Philosopher and the Mythic Fruit.

“Let’s go. Everyone’s waiting…!”

…This was the tale of a young girl’s encounter with the Eternal Fool. A story of struggles to weave finite lives and protect the future.

This served as the prologue to ‘Principles of a Philosopher 2’ — self-published by the Devil King.

…It seemed the world would continue to revolve around this Eternal Fool for a while longer.

************************************************

This is the end of the series’ main story. 

Chapters after this are as follows:

– Web novel extra short stories commemorating the published book’s final volume

– April Fools’ 2022 special web novel short story

– Side stories included in each volume of the published book

– Individual characters’ mini-biographies detailing their lives after the ending, included in the published book’s final volume

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