The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

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“Master! I’ve come up with something amazing!” Pochi exclaimed.

Though it was probably nothing significant, there wasn’t much else to do in this long, long cave, so I listened to Pochi’s words.

“What is it?”

“We’re in a cave!”

“Right, we are.”

“And it’s full of rocks!”

“Yup, nothing but rocks.”

“How about that?? Isn’t it amazing!?!?”

……Pochi occasionally said things that made no sense. Usually, it happened when she was caught up in some immediate desire.

Pochi’s desires tended to revolve around one thing — food.

“Instructor, what is Shiro trying to say?” Bright inquired.

“Hmm… Perhaps it might be clearer if we ask Chappie…”

“So, what seems to be the matter?” Bright asked Chappie.

“Perhaps Mother wishes rocks could become food. If they did, she’d be happy. In fact, she’d be very happy. That means Father’s magic might make it happen. If it did, she’d be happy. In fact, she’d be very happy! …That’s what she wants to say, isn’t it?”

It was impressive that he could come up with all that… Even though it might be incorrect.

“That’s exactly it, Chappie!”

Oh.

“Can you do it, Master?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then, at least start with something sweet!”

Once again, she was hearing only what she wanted to hear.

I sighed heavily, and Bright chuckled.

So that’s how it is, Bright… you DO understand my hardships!

Thinking that way, I nodded in agreement, but Bright-kun started to steer the conversation in a slightly different direction.

“Instructor, shall we consider this a little more deeply? Why exactly can’t rocks become food…?”

Indeed, that could be an interesting mental exercise.

“…Hmm, all right. Let’s consider this an… extracurricular training, then.”

It would be a decent way to pass the time and teach Bright something extra. Plus, it would explain to Pochi, who was walking ahead of us with shining eyes… while glancing back at us the whole time.

Isn’t her neck going to get sore, staying like that?

“Firstly, Master Bright, what is magic?”

“Magic is something created from the surrounding elements.”

“That’s correct. So what about magecraft?”

“Well, according to you, Instructor, it’s close in meaning to ‘summoning.'”

Yes, magic creates something from nothing, and magecraft summons something that exists.

Of course, there are exceptions, but generally, it falls within these bounds.

“So, is it possible to create magic or magecraft that turns rocks in this cave into food?”

To my question, Bright bowed his head and thought for a while.

“…It’s complicated. What would need to be done to make rocks edible? While I’ve heard of people somewhere in the world eating rocks, for it to be considered food, wouldn’t you have to transform or alter the rock itself…? In that case, it’s theoretically possible through magic.”

Truly an outstanding student. He’s grasped the essentials and understands the potential of both magic and magecraft.

“That’s wonderful. So, even if it ultimately can’t be done, let’s explore it from various perspectives.”

“WHERE’S THE FOOD, SIR!?”

“NOWHERE, THAT’S WHERE!”

Honestly, when it comes to food, this furball never considers the effort I have to put in.

“If we use earth magic to crush the rocks into powder and sprinkle salt or something, Shiro could probably eat it, couldn’t she?”

…Bright sometimes says absurd things. Well, Pochi COULD probably eat it, but…

“That could be correct… or maybe not. But as a mage, it wouldn’t be a good look, would it?”

“Fair enough.”

Bright seemed to understand my negative answer, smiling back with his tongue out.

Perhaps this is what they mean by “white lies.”

Bright-kun, a mysterious boy who’s white on the surface but pitch black inside… what kind of adult will he turn out to be?

“Anything else?”

“Instructor, shouldn’t we take turns suggesting ideas?”

Hmm, that might indeed be the way to go. But if I were to provide an answer, wouldn’t it stifle discussion?

No, no, this was a good opportunity to show some authority as the mentor to Bright.

It seemed Bright was genuinely interested in my analysis, so there was no reason to hold back.

With my chin resting on my hand, I gestured with my index finger before Bright.

“Firstly, what exactly is food? That’s the question here.”

“Go on…”

“For instance, Chappie occasionally eats insects, but aside from a few exceptions, we humans don’t consider insects as food.”

“That’s true.”

“Which means, the act of eating — where the person consuming it recognizes it as food — is fundamental.”

As I explained this, Bright’s face lit up.

Impressive, he’s already grasped what I’m getting at.

“So, feeling full is just the result. It seems we can find an answer that doesn’t necessarily lead to that outcome this time.”

As I continued my explanation, Bright nodded along thoughtfully.

“Now that you seem to have an answer, Master Bright, let’s compare.”

“Yes.”

“Ready…”

“”Illusion!””

Yes, this is it…

If rocks can’t be eaten, then we just need to deceive Pochi’s perception.

“Well, in this case, calling it a ‘hallucination’ might be more accurate…”

“Hallucination… That certainly sounds right. So, what’s the plan?”

I glanced at the restless Pochi from afar, smirking quietly.

I discreetly conveyed only the essential details to Bright.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

“Now, Master! Please let me eat these rocks as food!”

Honestly, to think Pochi would come up with wanting to eat rocks…

“Oh?”

Well, it did lead to an interesting magic idea…

Come to think of it, many of the magic ideas came from Pochi’s thoughts.

Could she be doing it intentionally?

“Food!! Food♪”

Nah, that can’t be right.

Bright drew the Spell Circle I had taught him in the air and aimed it at the rocks.

“Rise, A-rise… Confusion Fragrance!”

Bright and I immediately covered our noses.

Pochi and Chappie, sniffing eagerly, were probably enjoying the scent that now oozed with richness.

“Oh?”

“Ohh?”

And then, the eyes of both Pochi and Chappie changed.

Their eyes were practically sparkling.

“”Ohhh?””

Simultaneously, they exclaimed in amazement and knelt as if in reverence before the wall.

Pochi, of course, but Chappie is quite adept too.

“But is this… is this really all right, Instructor?”

“Yes, I think it is. Ultimately, this just tricks Pochi and Chappie into seeing the wall as food through magic. Will they end up biting into it? That’s what we’re trying to find out.”

“It’s delicious!!”

“Nomnomnomnom!”

Okay, that wasn’t part of the plan at all.

Pochi was licking the wall all over, and Chappie started pecking at it like a woodpecker.

Strange. There shouldn’t be any taste, but could the powerful smell and visual cues be deceiving them?

Bright chuckled at their actions beyond his imagination.

And then, it hit me when I noticed the suspiciously gleaming eyes of Pochi and Chappie.

What’s with those chilling eyes…?

It’s as if they’re looking at us as if we were… food.

“Master Bright, did something go wrong with the magic formula?”

“No, I invoked the magic formula exactly as you instructed…”

“Does that mean…?”

“Perhaps your devised formula was erroneous, Instructor…”

Step by step, Pochi and Chappie approached us, staring while walking.

“That looks like a very delicious Master Parfait…”

What kind of parfait is that?

“Bright-sized chocolate! Mother, that one’s mine!”

“Oh, things are never that easy, Chappie…”

Pochi bared her fangs, and Chappie’s beak opened wide.

“It’s first come, first served!”

“Uh oh! Let’s run, Master Bright! Rise, A-rise, All Up: Count 2 & Remote Control!”

“Ahhhhhh!!”

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

“Hah hah hah… whew…! S-so, Master Bright… Are those two gluttons still chasing us?”

“Y-yes, I think so… But it seems like we’ve shaken them off for now, at least…”

Chappie’s isn’t that big of a deal, but Pochi’s speed is quite troublesome — and with me having to keep Bright safe, it’s quite a challenge.

“Ahh!”

And Leon is the most energetic of us all.

I never imagined it would come to this…

Maybe it’s more tiring than dealing with Chiquiata’s group after all.

“How much longer do we have to keep running?”

At Bright’s question, I exchanged my collected breath for a sigh of resignation.

“Hmm, it might be tough until we manage to make them lose consciousness once.”

“Then, could we use… Slumber Sleight, was it?”

“That would probably be the most effective, yes. I’ll take care of Shiro — could I trouble you to handle Chappie?”

Bright nodded quietly and extended a small fist toward me.

I mirrored his gesture, lightly bumping fists before giving a smile.

I carried Leon and followed Pochi’s trail, while Bright headed in the direction where Chappie’s feathers had fallen.

Now, where the hell did Pochi go? Considering Pochi’s saliva on the rock wall, I think it’s likely this way, but…

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

“Ooh?”

“Hmm… What is it, Leon? Is there something behind me?”

I turned to where Leon was pointing.

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… Gotcha!”

“Whoawhoawhoa! Shiro, when did you get behind me!?”

The black wolf, Pochi, who had been right behind me, licked my neck with an adorable sound, her eyes sparkling.

Feeling a chill down my spine, I jumped back in an instant, causing Leon to laugh gleefully.

“Master… You look so delicious today… Hehehe♪”

Is she recognizing me as myself? Wait, could it be that the Illusion has worn off already?

“Actually… I really want to sprinkle some salt and pepper and then give you a lick… But just biting into you raw sounds good too, doesn’t it?”

Isn’t she supposed to see me as a parfait!? Who the hell puts salt and pepper over parfait!?

Well, I guess Pochi is just too confused to understand what’s going on anymore…

“C’mon, it should be fine, right, Master? It won’t hurt at all… Right?”

“W-well, calm down, Shiro. Let’s settle this calmly, okay?”

“Shiro~? Did you forget my name~? My name is Pochi, you know?”

Oh no, this is bad. Pochi seems to have completely lost it. No, she remembers, but…

Though she’s looking at me, her conscious mind seems to be somewhere off in the distance.

Now, dealing with Pochi, who has the power of a Heavenly Beast, is quite a challenge. What should I do?

“Ahh!”

“Oh my, Leon-chan looks delicious too… Those marshmallow-like cheeks, and that fluffy-looking skin! He must be… so delicious!”

Even Leon has become a target for Pochi now. And Pochi is already tasting him in her mind. I swear, her imagination is way too strong…

Swaying her body, Pochi gradually advanced.

I retreated slowly, adjusting to the distance between us.

In an instant, Pochi’s eyes changed to the ones she would have when hunting prey.

N-now!

“TIME TA CHOW DOWN!!”

“I won’t let you eat me! Rise! Earth Control!”

As Pochi approached, a vertical wall emerged from under my feet.

In this cavern, there’s not much space to move around freely. Pochi’s mobility should also be somewhat hindered.

“Wow! Kebabs are growing from the ground!”

“WHY!? –Whoa!”

Pochi, who broke through the earthen wall in an instant, started crunching on what had been the earthen wall.

“Hehehe, delicious~. Ah, Master, you’re always so kind… It feels wasteful to eat you.”

“Well, then please consider not eating me!”

“No, I will have a taste.”

Damn it, she’s good with words only at times like this!

Pochi swallowed dirt with a gulp, while I swallowed spit with a gulp.

The actions are similar, but the roles are predator and prey.

Prey? No way, I’m not accepting that role!

“Ah~~~!”

“Dammit…! To be… eaten by… my Familiar… I won’t allow it!”

My Familiar snaps at the air.

If Pochi’s mind were clear, my commands should reach her, but that doesn’t seem to be the case this time.

While fleeing, protecting Leon, how far can I go…?

“Master, it’s about time I got a bite of you, don’t you think?”

“YOU should be the one to stop, don’t you think?”

“I can’t do that!”

God damn it… why does Pochi have to be so terrifyingly cute at times like this!?

Pochi dashed forward, intending to leap a few paces ahead of me.

Normally straightforward, Pochi’s behavior here changed… Huh? This must be her way of preparing to do something.

Directly engaging her is dangerous. While jumping back, I set a ground-based magic circle… huh!?

She jumped up and… No, she didn’t!

I looked at Pochi again, doubting my eyes.

“…Was that… her tail?”

Yes — Pochi momentarily lifted her body with his tail, feigning a leap.

Then she kicked with her hind legs towards me–!

“I’ve finally reached you, Leon~♪ Aaah~~”

“Aaah~~”

Leon’s “aaah” isn’t the “aaah” you think! This kid is the next Holy Emperor!

“Take this!”

Exerting my muscle strength to the max, I twisted my body as I fell almost to the ground, kicking Pochi in the abdomen with a spin.

“Oof!”

Pochi was thrown against the rocky wall, and I stood up and started my magecraft in midair.

“Rise, A-rise, A-rise! Sancta Boundary!”

Pochi, getting up, leaped at me again, but was stopped by the Boundary’s wall.

“Ow–! What are you thinking, Master? Do you really think this kind of Boundary magecraft can stop me, who has obtained the power of a Heavenly Beast!? Oh, I’ll be the one eating here…”

She IS right. I can’t confine Pochi, now technically a Violet Phoenix, with just Sancta Boundary.

But this is a battle against time!

“If I put a little effort into it… a Boundary like this–“

“Yeah, yeah, I know! Rise, A-rise, A-rise! Sancta Boundary!”

“Wha–!”

Sancta Boundary isn’t just a magecraft that binds someone in place; it’s a magecraft that creates a powerful cage.

By trapping the prey in the cage, it creates an information gap within the arcane formula. By incorporating an attack magic into it, the attack magic is reflected chaoticly within the barrier, which kills the prey.

But, this time the opponent is Pochi. By incorporating another Boundary magecraft instead of attack magic, I can create a stronger immobilizing perimeter.

Yup — Sancta Boundary within the walls of Sancta Boundary.

Pochi was locked up in a smaller cage, and her movements were completely controlled by the double-layered perimeter.

“Ugh…! M-Master! That’s cheating!”

“Your Heavenly Beast title is the real cheat here! Come on, now sleep! Slumber Sleight!”

“That kind of simple spell won’t put a Heavenly Beast like me to… sleep… Zzz…”

“You know what they say — A full stomach makes you sleepy. Dirt counts, too! Man, she really is a beast….”

“Naa!”

“Hahaha, Leon, don’t you think so too? Really, what a troublesome Familiar she is!”

I squeezed Leon’s hand and said, swaying, and Leon’s cheerful “ahhh!” echoed through the cave.

“Now then, I can’t just leave Pochi like this. Even on relatively safe paths for merchants, monsters can still appear. What to do… Ah, I’ve got it. Rise, Arise, Storeroom!”

I dispelled the Boundary around Pochi, lifted her, fast asleep, and tossed her into the Storeroom.

“Zzz…! …Masterrrrrr, look carefully… That’s a Super Poison Frog, you know~~ Hehehe, you really need to watch what you eat, sir… Hehehe…”

This furball sure has some strange dreams.

The Super Poison Frog is a recently discovered species in my time — good thing no one else was here to hear her slip that out.

In any case, Pochi’s sleep talk is dangerous. If Bright heard her, it could cause trouble.

…Come to think of it, I wonder if Bright is safe?

As I pondered, a tremendous scream echoed from deep within the cave, almost in response to Leon’s voice from earlier.

“Uwaaaaaaahhhh!?”

“W-what was that!?”

I closed the Store Room and hurried towards the direction of Bright’s voice.

Did things go south after all!? I mean, even if it’s Chappie, his species status as a Heavenly Beast DOES make him more powerful than Bright, both in terms of levels and magical capacity!

“I-Instructor!”

It’s rare for Bright to scream like that.

By the time I arrived, Bright was already pinned down by Chappie. And Chappie… he’s…!

“Delicious… delicious… delicious…”

He’s eating Bright’s beautiful black hair… strand by strand!

It was too shocking for words.

The fear might be stronger than actually being eaten.

“Instructor, please hurry and help me! If this keeps up, I’ll be bald!”

Part of me wanted to see that, but then I’d also witness June collapsing to her knees…

And then she’d straight up kill me, probably.

Feeling that impending crisis, I grabbed Chappie’s beak and delivered a solid punch.

“Delici–“

“Phew, human ego can be quite terrifying.”

Chappie collapsed, eyes rolled back.

Man, I’ll have to apologize to both Pochi and Chappie later…

“Ugh… That was cruel, Chappie…”

I pulled Bright’s arm and helped him stand up.

“Are you all right, Master Bright?”

“Uh, y-yes… for now.”

“How many strands of hair did he pluck out?”

“I-I don’t know. More than a few dozen, at least… ugh…”

…Poor guy.

Hopefully he won’t go bald in the future, but he’s still young and will have many new hairs growing. I swept up Bright’s bangs and checked his scalp.

“Uh, um… even though you’re my Instructor, it’s embarrassing to have you staring at my head like this…”

“A-ah, sorry.”

Hmm, he’s June’s younger brother, so this shouldn’t come as a surprise, but he does have quite a cute face.

For a moment, I thought he was a girl.

Could he possibly cross-dress to deceive enemies or something?

“Ah! Food!”

As I pondered these trivial matters, Chappie awakened.

Perhaps still affected by earlier events, Bright flinched, and I prepared for battle.

-—But,

“Hmm? Father? What’s wrong? Why release so much arcane energy? I don’t see any enemies around…”

Chappie looked around nervously.

…Phew, looks like everything’s okay now.

I relaxed my guard, and Bright, who had been teary-eyed, finally seemed to calm down.

“By the way, Instructor, what happened to Shiro?”

“Ah, right… I almost forgot about her. Rise, Storeroom!”

The entrance to the dark void of the Storeroom emerged. I peered cautiously inside.

Chappie snapping out of it didn’t guarantee that Pochi would be as well.

Then, from inside, came the familiar sound of chewing that Pochi always made during meals.

“Delicious… it’s so delicious… Hehe… hehehe…!”

“P-Pochi…?”

As I spoke softly, the familiar back turned slightly, and Pochi spun around.

“Ah.”

“Huh!?”

“It’s opennnnnnn!”

Her eyes briefly sparkled, and then Pochi leaped at me with big tears streaming down her face.

“Master! How did I even end up in there!?”

Crying and clinging to me, Pochi was her usual self, and the effects of the Illusion magic had completely vanished.

“Oh, sorry, sorry… Hmm?”

By the way, what was Pochi saying was delicious while eating?

…Oh?

Around Pochi’s tear-streaked face as she clung to me, there was something unmistakable — crumbs.

Not the dirt she had been chewing on earlier. These were real food crumbs.

“No… could it be…?”

More than confirming Pochi’s safety, I cautiously peered into the Storeroom.

There, laid bare, was the horrific scene of our precious, limited food supplies strewn about, devoured.

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!”

That was the loudest scream in the cave today.

From Pochi’s nonchalant mouth came a small sound… of burping.

Listening to that sound I didn’t want to hear, I pondered the diet ahead of us.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

Story 2 – Researching A Curse

“Hey, Master, what’s this?”

“Don’t you recognize it? It’s an important research document.”

“But it’s all torn up, isn’t it? You can’t even see the writing. Is this even paper? And it’s burnt too!”

“Good God, you’re barking especially loud today…”

“Huh? Can’t you understand what I’m saying!? It’s me, Pochi! Pochi!”

Oh? She seems to think I’m hearing her in dog barks… Interesting. Let’s tease her a bit.

“Hmm, what’s wrong, Pochi? You’re barking like a little puppy… Come on, speak properly. You understand human language, right?”

“I understand! I understand, of course! I’m speaking it right now! But… how come YOU can’t understand my words?”

“If you’ve got nothing to say, keep quiet. I’m in the middle of something interesting.”

Pochi froze for a while, seemingly unable to process what was happening in her head.

Ah, finally some peace and quiet. Just when I thought we’d found a good dungeon to settle down in for a few hundred years, this furball is as noisy as ever…

“Waaaahhhhh!”

God damn it, she’s noisy!

“Master! Maaaaaster… I can’t believe you… can’t understand my words anymore!”

With a pained cry, Pochi gazed up at the dungeon ceiling and performed a bizarre dance for me, which I couldn’t quite make sense of.

“Hey, that’s important, so don’t step on it.”

“This is strange… very strange. I can understand your words just fine, but my words don’t reach you… Could this possibly be–“

Oh, she’s realized I’ve been teasing her? I’ll probably get scolded again… But this IS pretty funny.

“A curse!”

Nope, she’s completely off in another direction.

…It’s funny though, so let’s watch for a while longer.

“I-I remember now! There’s research material about curses around here! Ah, there it is! Hmm, hmm, hmm… Master’s handwriting… such cute round letters.”

Stop paying attention to that, dammit! I’m actually conscious about it!

“Ah! This isn’t the time for that! Um, ‘A curse is… as the name suggests, a curse.’ Hmm… I don’t get it! What’s this?! Master! You spent about a year on this research, right? And this is all you’ve got?! What a fool! You’re such a fool, Master!”

“What’s that? You’re not making any sense. How about you stop barking for a few minutes?”

“Oh! That’s right! My voice isn’t reaching Master now! Ugh, there’s no choice! I must inform you of this emergency! That means… yes, writing! Surely he can read what I write… Ahh!!”

Oh, yeah, now that I think about it…

“I can read, but I can’t write!!”

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

“And that, Lady Ferris, was how Shiro learned to write.”

“Wow. You’re a jerk, you know that?”

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

“…And then my Master received my SOS. He developed the curse removal magic in an instant and saved me! Ta-da! How’s that, Bright? My Master is awesome, isn’t he?”

“…Hahaha.”

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