The Punishment of A Demon General

(This chapter is gonna be some embarrassing drama for me, avert your eyes if you don't like that kind of stuff. ... You could also just avert your eyes anyway, I really wish I didn't come back for this.)

Honestly, I don't get how she can even ask that, isn't it obvious? I stare at her for a couple moments in an attempt to gauge what the heck she's on about.

"I guess that's a yes, uh... Hm." You're telling me it wasn't obvious? Do I need to make it more clear next time?

I open my mouth to ask but she immediately breaks out into a coughing fit, clutching at her chest and stomach in pain as she does so.

The Heroine comes in within a dozen seconds, dragging the priest with her. "Out, quickly." She doesn't even make eye contact as she pushes past me, nudging my towards the door.

Fine, I didn't even want to be in here with you anyway! "Don't die, idiot." I curtly say to Fluffy before walking out, my blanket trailing on the ground behind me.

I find Killa waiting outside, looking at me with a conflicted expression. "What? Unhappy your little doppelganger didn't kill me?"

I'm not in the mood to mince my words, especially not with these people. She widens her eyes at this comment, completely shocked that I talked back to her.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Her tone is sour as she glares at me in a mix of hostility and confusion.

"That little doppelganger of yours. I want to be surprised that the heroine's party is degenerate enough to hire an unholy mage like that, but lo and behold, I wonder why I can't?" I put on the most snide tone I can, berating her bringing no small amount of satisfaction to me, especially considering it seems to be affecting her.

"Unholy- Did those rocks do more than just damage your body, or are you naturally this stupid?" Oh, at least your tongue is sharper than your brain! You really think I wouldn't have realized it? The odds of it happening the moment I left when only you idiots know I'm here is extraordinarily low after all.

"First of all it was a demon. Second of all how the fuck would I gain anything at all from that?" Playing dumb, huh? Fine, I'll bite.

"I mean, why else would you prefer a version of me so pathetic and controllable? You all have had it out for me from day one, anyway, and it's not like the Heroine is any better. With that silly mage of yours you could just impersonate me and deal with it without having to be around a demon you hate oh-so-much. You really are peas in a pod with half-devils, considering how vile you both are!" I can't help but end it with an insult, I've had to sit here and hold it in for so long! I'm sure the 'Lady Heroine' is gonna punish me for what I've said already, so I don't care!

"... Alright, I take it back. You're not just dumb, you're paranoid to boot." She looks at me with incredulity, unfortunately not taking much damage from my insult, so there goes my satisfaction there!

"If we were just going to hire someone to replace you, I wouldn't have treated you in the first place, dumb ass!" Yeah, but that-

"Oh, and trust me, I don't want to tolerate you as much as the next person, but the Heroine is the one who keeps fucking insisting we try and keep you, what the fuck do you mean 'the Heroine has it out for me', if it wasn't for her stupid fetishes we wouldn't have to put up with you in the first place!"

"Oh, sure, that's why-" I try to get a word in, but Killa's rage somehow manages to eclipse mine.

"Not to fucking mention the fact we have a bunch of earthy assholes in our basement we have no choice but to have you help us deal with, talk about shooting ourselves in the foot if we try to do anything to you at this point!" She looks like she's about to continue before we both suddenly find ourselves pressed into each other in an uncomfortable kiss, shutting us both up.

"How about both of you stop screaming?" The Heroine stands at the corners of our eyes, looking at us in annoyance, anger in her voice. "There's literally a patient right there, if you're going to have a hate-fuck do it somewhere else."

Even though my hands are locked to my sides, I flick the heroine off, trying to glare at her, even from the awkward position.

"And you, I..." The Heroine's expression turns conflicted as she stares at me, looking as if she's wondering what to say.

I want to shout at her to spit it out, but I'm still forced to kiss this bastard! This is the worst.

"First of all, she isn't lying when she says that's just a random demon. In fact, we were hoping you'd be able to tell us who the hell she is." What, I'm just supposed to believe a random demon just popped in and started trying to impersonate me?

"Second of all, Killa is literally the one who treated you in the first place, so before you go into some paranoid tirade about something or other, she's the one who felt most indebted to you for saving us."

"Third of all, we don't 'have it out for you', I can see why you think that, but fuck, I was literally trying to organize something to apologize to you before you decided to get lost and run away. Do I actually have to keep you on a fucking leash? Holy shit."

Now it's my turn to be confused, what? Obviously I don't immediately believe her, but how the-

"Which leads into the next thing. I'm sorry for being such a dick to you just before and during the trip. You deserved something for almost getting two of my people killed, but I didn't realize that was gonna make you constantly act like this."

What, like this? What the fuck does 'like this' mean, exactly? Your apology doesn't exactly sound like a fucking apology, you know?!

"Yeah, yeah, it probably doesn't sound like much of an apology, but I'm still gonna make you apart of my harem, you know? Training is necessary and all."

Wait, so you're just... Actually, that kind of almost makes sense, in a fucked up sort of way. Also, seriously, still a mind reader? It's ridiculous!

"All the serious crap aside, you're still mine, I'm not gonna kill you or anything like that, so calm the fuck down."

After she says that, I'm finally released from my kiss with Killa, getting pushed away by her almost immediately. I didn't enjoy that either, you know?!

What do I even say? It's not like her suddenly apologizing actually makes a difference! I mean seriously, why do humans think they can just fuck with someone so much and then go 'oopsies'?!

... Don't look at me like that! I know you're expecting me to accept your apology, but it's not gonna happen! Put that stupidly cute face back in that room and get out of my sight!

"I don't plan on you accepting that apology any time soon, especially considering I'm still gonna be fucking the shit out of you regardless, but... We do need your help with figuring out what that thing from last nigh was, and dealing with those dudes you charmed." She just had to add the whole thing about fucking the shit out of me, huh?

... Do these idiots really think I'll just help them if they ask? I could just make those earth assholes attack them, you know? Why are humans so confusing?!

I said stop looking at me with that cute face! Well, I thought it, but you're a mind reader aren't you?! Just go away!

Against my expectations the heroine just stands there, looking at me with a furrowed brow, Killa having walked away without a word not too long ago, leaving only us.

"As much of a pain in the ass you are, I do really want you to be apart of my harem, so at the very least just... I don't know, chill out or something?" Well, if it isn't the absolute worst confession I've ever heard, romance is truly dead! Not that I've ever had someone try to romance me before.

"If you were gonna apologize to me then, why am I having to walk around completely naked? You keep locking me in my room, too!" Her story is just full of holes, I'm not here to be taken advantage of, you know!

"I mean, why didn't you just walk out to the truck and get some clothes, or ask for one of us to do it? ... Also that isn't even the first time I've locked you in a room, what's getting your panties in a bunch this time? I did it to avoid this exact thing where you'd come out and make that guy nearly shit himself!" I guess that's kind of true, but why the hell would he freak out just because of one demon? Holy mages shouldn't be that weak!

+That's just because you've only seen holy mages in combat, not support mages, dummy.+

(I know that now! It's not like I've spent all this time purposely trying to be ignorant about the world!)

"Fine then, why did you make me have sex with that thing yesterday then if you were just gonna figure out it was me anyway?!" Hah, take that!

"Some women just want to watch the world bone." What?

"I wanted to watch you fuck yourself." You... How fucking horny are you?!

"Very." I knew it, you really can read my mind! Get the hell out!

"No, I can't read your mind, you're just cute." More proof, don't lie to me!

+Fun fact, I was actually thinking you were thinking 'just how much of a degenerate are you'.+

(So you're aware?)

+Degeneracy isn't fun when you aren't aware of it!+

"You know what, fine! I challenge you!" I'm breaking out that plan from before, revenge kind of feels like a hollow victory now, but I have an ace up my sleeve!

"... Challenge me? What? To Yu-Gi-Oh or something?" What the fuck is Yu-Gi-Oh?

"No, to a sex battle! Loser has to fess up to whatever the winner wants, no lies!" She stares at me blankly for a couple moments.

"You know, I kind of adore the fact you're a complete airhead." Fuck you too!

+This chapter was a bit intense, but I feel like it's a good a time as any for this... Hey, uh, Ilvia, I'm sorry for making that joke. I got a bit... Overzealous with the idea of bullying and teasing you, I didn't really mean it.+

(I know, I realized that after a couple minutes.)

+Eh, then why did you...+

(I wanted you to feel bad for saying something that mean.)

+Doesn't that kind of make you the mean one?!+

(Oh? Are you taking back your apology?)

+No! No! I really am sorry, I'm sorry for being so mean!+

(Good.)

+... Also, did you actually not get that key?+

(Mm.)

+Heheheh... Sure, alright then.+

Author's Note:

Even though I was exhausted when I made that last chapter, I kind of feel like it shouldn't have been THAT bad, but 3 people dropped it after it was posted.

I wonder if there's some correlation? I almost want to ask them if it's just down to taste or if I'm doing something wrong, having 23/200 drop the story feels a bit high.

If it's just down to taste, I'm not likely to change the story much. If it's grammar/word usage/shallow character development though, a more accurate descriptor would help.

It's really difficult for me to improve in a vacuum, aaaa...