The Real Harry Potter

"Well...this seems comfy." Harry commented as he was sat in the hospital wing, he tried to tell them that all he really had was a cut on his arm but everyone decided to act like he had broken all the bones in his body and demanded that he go to the hospital wing. Harry looked around and at the various people around him.

One of which was Cornelius Fudge, the minister of magic, who was constantly shifting on his feet and fidgeting with his green bowler hat. There was Professor McGonagall along with Professor Snape who was sneering at everyone.

Harry could not help but wonder why the asshole was here but knew how futile it would be to try and get him to leave by pointing it out. There was also Madam Pomfrey who was checking the cut on his arm and treating him like he was dying, both Harry and Snape rolled their eyes at how dramatic the woman was.

Opposite Harry was a hospital bed containing Alastor Moody, except he did not look like he usually did. He was asleep, looking more tired, thin, pale and old than usual and in nothing but hospital clothes.

The other person here was none other than Albus Dumbledore, Dumbledore stood unnervingly still with the only movement coming from his eyes, those blue eye had lost their twinkle and were constantly glancing between each and every person in the room though they spent most of their time focused on Harry.

"What happened to him?" Harry asked, gesturing to Moody with his head.

"He was found in his trunk," Dumbledore answered, looking visibly upset. "I had found him shortly after you came back, as soon as he was out he informed us how Barty Crouch junior, a death eater that we thought was dead, had impersonated him throughout the year with polyjuice.

"What?" Harry blinked. "Are you joking?"

"I am afraid not." Dumbledore sadly shook his head. "I am aware that you spent a good amount of time with him, did he ever do anything you found suspicious or anything that harmed you in any way?"

"No, I mean besides usual teaching and advice plus a couple of spells." Harry said shaking his head.

"Advice? Spells?" McGonagall asked.

"Like on the tournament," Harry replied before turning to Dumbledore. "and some offensive spells, you really know how to pick your teachers sir." Harry said, the last part very sarcastic. Dumbledore frowned, as much as he hated to admit it Harry was rather right about that but in his defence their were barely any people willing to teach defence. "What happened to Crouch junior?"

"He has escaped." Dumbledore said, looking very disappointed.

"You should be fine." Pomfrey said after she finished up with her spells and potions.

"Really?" Harry drawled. "It's almost as if it was a simple cut."

"You are not a medical expert Mr Potter." Madam Pomfrey sniffed.

"Yes but I also do not need to be a medical expert to know what a cut is. I think it is the same way that you do not need to be an expert in fencing to know that the pointy end goes in the direction of your opponent." Harry commented, Madam Pomfrey gave Harry a small glare before she walked away. "Now what is this about?" Harry asked to the group at large.

"Mr Potter, we would like to know what exactly happened?" Dumbledore said, taking charge of the situation.

"It's rather simple," Harry replied. "I got to the cup, I grabbed onto it and all of a sudden I was taken away and landed in a graveyard. At first I thought that it was some surprise fourth task or something like that."

"You thought there would be a fourth task in a Triwizard tournament? Tell me Potter, do you know what the 'tri' in Triwizard means?" Snape sneered.

"Yes I do, in fact I was smart enough to remember that despite name there were four champions in the task. I also know that I am not the idiot who thinks that the 'poo' in shampoo means real poo, I will assume that is why you refuse to use it." Harry sneered back.

"Why you little..."

"Bring it Snivellus!" Harry said, his wand ready in his hand.

"Enough!" Dumbledore said before Snape could do anymore. "We are getting distracted from..."

"Yeah we are," Harry interrupted. "and whose fault is that? Why is he even here?!" Harry demanded as he gestured to Snape.

"Mr Potter, Professor Snape has my trust and..."

"So what?" Harry interrupted once again. "Minister, do you trust Lucius Malfoy?" Harry asked Fudge.

"Um...yes, yes I do." Fudge nodded, a little surprised by the sudden question.

"Well in that case let's bring Lucius Malfoy here then." Harry said to Dumbledore. "If we're just bringing death eaters that we trust into this meeting then perhaps everyone should find a death eater."

"I have a reason for keeping Professor Snape here." Dumbledore replied, his voice suggesting that Harry cease questioning him.

"Perhaps you could tell us that reason?" Harry 'suggested'.

"Mr Potter, that is enough disrespect!" McGonagall said.

"McGonagall somewhere in this castle is a pile of catnip, why don't you just go find that and stop bothering me?"

"Mr Potter," Dumbledore frowned. "that is enough, we have much to talk about and it is not helping anyone to have insults flying everywhere."

"Your pet death eater was the one who started it." Harry replied.

"Well I am the one who is ending it, now."

"Fine, just keep your dog under control before I decide to neuter him."

"You arrogant little brat!" Snape snapped.

"Arrogant? Arrogant?!" Harry demanded as he got off the bed and walked towards Snape, stopping so he was looking the surly potions master in the eye. "You dare to call me arrogant you hypocritical bastard?!"

"You're just a spoilt brat strutting around the castle..."

"This coming from the unwanted bat that stalks around the castle sneering at everyone?!" Harry cut him off. "You called me arrogant?! How fucking dare you?!"

"Mr Potter," Dumbledore interrupted. "that is..."

"No, it is not!" Harry cut him off as he glared at Snape. "I came to Hogwarts looking forward to my first potions class! I thought the subject sounded interesting and I wanted to learn it! That was ruined for me when an overgrown bat who can't teach for shit came in and decided that instead of teaching he would prefer to flaunt his superior knowledge to a classroom of eleven years old which include the muggle raised like me! School is for learning yet this arse does nothing but insult those who don't know what he knows.

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