The Real Harry Potter

"Quiet." Harry said as he watched TV with Selena resting on his lap. Harry was stroking her with one hand while he had the TV remote in his other hand. He was happily watching the TV when he heard a small whimper. "Shut up!" Harry shouted at the Dursley's.

The Dursley's quickly shut up, not a single one of them were willing to talk. Harry had been more than generous with his punishments. It had only been his third day back at the Dursley's and they were already praying for him to go. On Harry's return he had gotten a bit too enthusiastic while whipping Vernon so he found himself a bit too tired to whip Dudley and Petunia so he simply waved his wand and had the belt whip the two on its own.

Yesterday morning Harry had started the day off by hitting Petunia in both of her legs with a bone breaker, he then made Dudley sit on her legs. She was so fond of treating him like a baby so Harry figured she would probably like it, her screams said otherwise. As for Dudley Harry animated some food to constantly attack him, it was fun to see Dudley run from the one thing he loved more than his family. But Harry quickly stopped that by tying him up and putting him back on his mothers lap. Of course Harry also got rid of Dudley's teeth so the fat ass did not get tempted to just eat the food. As for Vernon Harry decided to take it easy on him and just leave him alone for the day.

Just kidding, he most certainly did not.

Harry had called Dobby and sent him out to get the spiciest peppers and food he could find. After one spell to make Vernon's mouth dry Harry had forced him to eat a variety of thing, including a couple of ghost peppers, before leaving Vernon tied to his chair with nothing but a silencing charm so he wouldn't bother Harry. Of course it didn't help Vernon that Harry had animated his belt to start constantly whipping Vernon's legs. Harry left them like that for most of the day apart from occasionally slapping Petunia's legs and giving the trio an occasional punch to the face.

As for today, Harry decided to do something different. Harry glanced towards the Dursley's, they were all currently hanging from the ceiling by their thumbs. An idea that Harry got from Argus Filch, he would have to thank him for that. Of course Harry added his own flair to it by making a pool under them and filling it with piranhas. Extreme? Perhaps. Did Harry want to stop it? Fuck no.

"Should I bite them daddy?" Selena asked.

"No, you could get food poisoning or worse. We don't know where they have been." Harry replied.

"Should I kill them with my eyes?"

"No, it's better if you don't look at them."

"Why? Would they do something?"

"No, they are just really ugly." Harry responded.

As he stroked Selena he thought of another problem, Harry was well aware of the fact that there was always someone watching the house. Between Dobby, Selena, Hedwig, an invisibility cloak and the right spells it was easy to work out. Harry knew it was not Voldemort, after all why on earth would the dark lord just wait outside Harry's house? He knew it was not death eaters because if it was possible for them to find him here then they would have done it years ago.

Harry quickly realised that they were watching the house on the orders of Dumbledore, the fact that Dobby had overheard one of them talking to himself probably helped Harry realise that, which meant Harry had to be careful with what he did with the Dursley's. Sooner or later it was possible that Mad-Eye Moody might end up watching his house. He would almost certainly notice something was up. There was also the fact that Moody's magical eye could probably see through walls and clothes.

"Hmm, Dobby." Harry called as he stood up and turned the TV off.

"Yes master?" Dobby asked as he popped in.

"Do me a favour," Harry said as he got rid of the pool and piranhas before letting the Dursley's drop hard on to the floor. "Put these three in bed." Harry said as he stunned the three Dursley's. "Once you're done stay away from here until I call you, if the Dursley's look like they are going to wake up then put them back to sleep."

"Yes Master Harry." Dobby nodded before he grabbed the Dursley's and popped away.

"Get back on my skin sweetie." Harry said to Selena.

"Are we going somewhere Daddy?" She asked.

"Yep. I want you to wrap around my left arm and go sleep. I'll wake you up later." Harry replied.

Selena obediently listened and wrapped herself around Harry's left arm before she sunk into his skin and became a tattoo.

Harry walked out of the Dursley's home, he wore black trainers, blue jeans, a white shirt and a black leather jacket. He began walking away from the house, waiting to see if he would be stopped.

"Wotcher Harry." A voice called a few seconds after leaving.

"Tonks?" Harry smiled as he turned to see the pink haired girl standing there. "You've done something different with your hair." Harry noted, before her hair was shoulder length and now it was short and spiky. She was wearing black shoes, trousers and robes as well.

"Thanks for noticing," She smirked. "do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's very...you." Harry smirked back. "What are you doing here? I am pretty sure that you don't live here."

"Oh I am one of your guards." Tonks smiled.

"What?" Harry raised an eyebrow, placing a mask of confusion on his face.

"Oh...you didn't know?" Tonks asked, looking embarrassed. "Dumbledore thought you weren't safe so he got a bunch of us guarding you. Today was my turn, sorry I thought you knew."

"If I knew I would have told Dumbledore I do not want nor need guarding." Harry replied. "Now I would love to stay and chat but I have got to be off."

"But Dumbledore said you had to say at your house and..."

"Tonks," Harry interrupted. "I do not give two shits what Dumbledore says, he is not my guardian nor is he related to me and outside of school he has no authority over me. Now if there is nothing else then I have to go to Diagon Alley now before I am late, I have a meeting at Gringotts and those little buggers are not happy even when someone is on time, I don't want to make it worse by being late."

"Alright fine," Tonks said after a moment of indecision. "but I am coming with you then." Tonks added.

"Oh, are you?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I gave up my day to look after you so I might as well come with you, that way nobody can claim I don't take my job seriously."

"I don't need a babysitter you know."

"Oh, do you not want me around?" Tonks said, a fake hurt look on her face. "That hurts Harry."

"Fine," Harry sighed. "come on then." Harry said as he began walking away. Tonks followed after him. "So, how is Sirius doing?" Harry asked just as he summoned the knight bus.

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