The Snow Queen

“Could it be… rape?”

If it was rape, I might be fortunate that I can’t remember. But how did Snake and I end up here together? The more I think about it, the more questions arise.

I struggled to stand. Every step felt indescribably strange, an unsettling, repulsive sensation. Normally, after internal ejaculation, I would either sleep immediately or clean up. This was the first time it had been like this. My lower abdomen itched from the inside. I barely suppressed the urge to vomit as I stepped into the corridor. The surroundings were dim. There was a staircase right next to the room I had exited, and faint noises were coming from below.

The farther I went down the stairs, the louder the noise became—music and the sound of loud moaning. My eyes widened in shock. Hundreds of candles flickered in a vast hall where naked men and women were tangled together in various places. I was stunned, unable to believe what I was seeing.

“Hey, blondie,” someone suddenly called out. I reflexively turned, freezing in place. Guiger, the department head, was gesturing for me to come over.

What on earth is going on?

The department head’s uniform coat looked slightly crumpled, and several naked women lay scattered at his feet. It was a terribly embarrassing sight.

“Didn’t you hear me? Hmm… Can’t you hear me? We’re not strangers, after all. We met in the Labyrinth. And you remember what happened in that alley, right?”

That’s when I realized who he was—the man who had nonchalantly approached me in the alley. The way he could suddenly shift to a refined tone only made him more unsettling.

I glanced around once more. It felt like I was wandering through a nightmare. This was undoubtedly a noble’s estate. From the tangled bodies to those wearing robes, everything hinted at aristocratic indulgences. The problem was why I was here.

“Hey.”

The department head suddenly grabbed my shoulder from behind, spinning me around to face him. Through his silver mask, I could faintly see his brown eyes—intelligent and sharp, like his voice. After a brief silence, a quiet laugh escaped from beneath the mask.

“Haha, is someone going to kill you or something?”

“Uh…”

I stammered, my voice vacant. Reality still didn’t seem to register. All I could think about was a random thought:

The department head looked me up and down.

“So, you’re here as a servant… but you’re a mess. Your hair is disheveled, and your clothes are wrinkled. You came down from the stairs over there, right? Did you have sex with someone?”

It was such a blunt question. My cheeks flushed with blood. At least I had learned from his words that I had been brought here as a servant.

“Uh, well, I…”

I tried to step back hastily, but the department head held onto my shoulder tightly, not letting me go. Anger surged within me.

“Whether I had sex or not isn’t any of your business, is it?”

“Oh?”

The department head let out a soft chuckle. But then he said, “Well, you’re right,” and finally let go of my shoulder.

“Anyway, I didn’t call you over for that reason. It’s just…”

Suddenly, a sharp cracking sound echoed from the distance—a whip. The department head glanced in that direction.

At some point, Snake had appeared, standing motionless at a distance. He looked like a ghost, eerily out of place amidst the tangled, naked bodies. He raised his right hand and beckoned slowly. The department head looked between Snake and me before shrugging his shoulders and walking toward Snake. As he approached, Snake tilted his head toward him.

This was my chance. I had to escape, no matter where. But I hadn’t taken more than a few steps before, “Hold on, stay there,” came the voice from behind. The department head grabbed me again, faster than I could believe.

“What is it now?”

“Why are you so nervous? I just have a message to deliver.”

“A message?”

“From our department head. He said he had a good time earlier. But he noticed you didn’t seem well afterward. He wanted to make sure there was no misunderstanding.”

“Yes…”

I couldn’t believe it.

“Oh, and this. He said it’s a token of appreciation.”

The department head placed something in my hand—a check.

“I can’t accept this. Please, take it back.”

“Haha, I’d advise you to accept it. Our department head… he’s a very scary man. Extremely.”

“…”

I had no choice but to take the check. The department head gestured for me to leave. I hurried away, but I felt lost. I had no idea how I had ended up here or how to get out.

Suddenly, someone tugged on my clothes.

“Ray? Ray? I’ve been looking for you since earlier.”

Although she wore a mask, it was Sonia’s voice. She, like me, was draped in a red robe.

“Where did you suddenly disappear to? I’ve been searching everywhere for you!”

“Oh, Sonia…”

“Let’s head down to the basement first; we need to change the trays anyway. Did you lose your mask? You were warned not to walk around without it.”

“I don’t remember. I don’t even know why I’m here.”

“Oh my.”

Sonia hesitated as she lifted the hem of her robe. She grabbed my hand and led me down to the basement, which connected to the wine cellar and kitchen. Servants were scattered throughout the wine cellar, smoking and taking a break.

As Sonia took off her mask, she pushed back the hood of her robe.

“Honestly, I thought something was off with you all day. Do you really not remember anything?”

“No.”

Sonia pulled out a cigarette from a pack and handed it to me, saying, “You should smoke one too.” She forced it into my mouth and lit it.

“You must smoke. Cigarettes sharpen your senses. Someone like you needs to smoke occasionally. Anyway, last night, Mr. Messon introduced me to the masquerade ball work. I called Ellie and asked her to let you know. Do you remember that?”

“I remember…”

I replied blankly.

“But you refused, saying you weren’t interested in the ball work and told Ellie to let me know.”

“Right, that’s what I heard from Ellie too. But this morning, you showed up right at the meeting place. I couldn’t believe it! Besides, you were acting so strange all day. You hardly smiled before, yet you were grinning and muttering weird things like, ‘Masquerade ball, haha.’ Do you have any idea how much I was sweating?”

A chill spread throughout my body. Sonia asked, “Are you okay?” as she supported me. Still, I couldn’t regain my composure.

According to Sonia, I had been out of my mind since last night. And I had laughed about the masquerade ball?

It was the worst. It was a sign that I was completely overtaken by illness. It meant the end was near.

Fear pierced through me like needles. I was scared… I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want my heart to stop and leave this world helplessly. I thought I was mentally prepared, but it was an illusion. It was arrogance. I had never imagined such overwhelming fear would engulf me.

“Hey. Are you okay? Huh? But what is this? Oh my.”

Sonia lifted a check that was fluttering from my hand. Her eyes widened, and she gasped, then lowered her voice.

“T-two thousand talantens? Where did you get this?”

Even in my daze, I became alert. Two thousand talantens?

I was shocked that the check Snake had thrown at me as a token of appreciation was such a large amount. It was unbelievable.

Sonia examined my outfit and chuckled.

“I don’t know who it is, but they must really like you. It’s money that even the Roses would have to work hard for a month to earn. Hohoho.”

I collected the check with a bitter feeling. It was an absurdly large sum to call a payment. Still, I decided to visit the hospital with this money. Unexpectedly, Snake had helped me. The situation was mind-boggling.

The doctor looked incredulous at my story. Naturally. I made an appointment for a month later and left the hospital. If my predictions were correct, the torment would begin around that time.

I couldn’t die like this.

Now that I had some money, I had to try.

I deliberately walked home to organize my thoughts, biting my lip tightly. Humans are quite amusing. When things were fine, I vowed to hold onto my pride and face death, yet when the signs arrived, I was scrambling in desperation—it was utterly pathetic.

What would I have been doing right now if it weren’t for the check Snake had thrown? Money is a terrifying thing, I thought with a wry smile. Is this why the nobles go mad over the Golden Wars?

Messara.

Could it be because of Messara that I was so unwilling to die?

I wanted to see him. I wanted to meet him and shout that I loved him. But now was not the time. My future was uncertain, and I couldn’t irresponsibly disrupt things in front of Messara like this. I shouldn’t do that.

He might already be in love with someone else…

Thinking that made my heart ache. I knew it was selfish. Messara was a man with strong sexual desires and a free spirit. While his habits in bed were unpleasant, he was generally the type to be popular. The likelihood that he was still hung up on me was slim, especially after all this time.

For now, let’s focus on surviving.

That was the priority. I needed to gather my thoughts and prepare for my illness. I stepped into a payphone booth and called Sonia. I asked her to cover for me for two weeks. Sonia, who vaguely knew about my condition, immediately agreed.

As I exited the payphone booth, I looked up at the sky. The Snow Queen was tossing her hair about. Everything before me was a stark, blinding white.

“I shook hands with Arisa at the party today. What do you think?”

“I’ll take a look.”

Reading Arisa’s intentions was absurd. It was both ridiculous and amusing.

“…It seems Arisa has definitely recruited Snake. She’s hosting a party, convinced that she has solidified the unity between Rilize and Guiger.”

“Good grief. This is maddening!”

Lord Manen was livid. For Lord Manen, who was about to leave, this shifting alliance must have been beneficial. The assassination of Stasoff was part of that. Yet, it was frustrating that Rilize had firmly allied with Guiger. Moreover, the words I was about to throw out today were akin to a bomb for Lord Manen.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m checking into the hospital in a month. From then on, I won’t be able to provide updates.”

I could hear him gulping over the phone. Anger and despair surged from him. I waited until Lord Manen calmed down.

“What should I do then?”

“Do as you wish.”

“Of course.”

“I’ll be waiting for the morning report.”

That was all I said before hanging up. A bleak wind howled through the cracks of the window.

I had packed my things yesterday and moved to Sonia’s house. With my current state, it was better to have someone by my side. Sonia left for work at night but stayed with me during the day. I was so grateful I could almost cry.

I buried myself deep in bed. As I had asked, Sonia locked the door behind her when she left. Even if I lost my senses again, I wouldn’t be able to rush out.

It was shocking. I couldn’t believe I had run to the masquerade ball venue of all places. I never imagined I would display such symptoms. As far as I remembered, I had never shown such signs before.

At least, not as far as I remembered…

My body temperature plummeted. Could I really trust my memory? I might have experienced things like this without realizing it. I decided not to think too deeply about it. No matter how much I pondered, all I found was a hazy despair.

I stared blankly at the television. Sonia’s favorite mini-series was on—

It was a popular historical drama that was produced repeatedly every few years. It was based on tales passed down through gossip. Whether it was true or not was still up for debate. It contained every element the public loved. It was short, simple, and entertaining. Stimulating, brutal, and obscene.

I was disgusted by the masses who were enthralled by such stories.

I was nauseated.

I turned off the TV with the remote. With a gloomy mood, I pulled the sheets over me. I decided to wait for the morning report in two days. Lord Manen was ready to act tomorrow.

Snake…

By the way, that man is something else.

I took out the check and waved it around as I fell deep into thought. The poor Ray Arisa often did such things when unexpected money came his way. How pathetic, I chuckled to myself.

Snake and ‘Ray Arisa’.

Didn’t we have sex that day? Has he already been with noble Arisa?

Recalling the lewd words that spilled from Arisa’s body made my cheeks flush. It was beyond imagination. The thought of a fist being shoved into an anus… It really seemed strange that Arisa had enjoyed it.

It looked like Snake was determined to satisfy him. He was indeed a man who would stop at nothing to achieve his goals. Strictly speaking, it was as if I had sold my body. It was no different from prostitution. Although it was only our third encounter, given the atmosphere Snake radiated, it was unexpected. Noble Arisa had openly demanded a bed from him. In the scenes you often see in movies, when a man like Snake is subjected to such things, doesn’t he usually clench his fists and tremble with humiliation?

Well, movies and reality are different. I scratched my head.

At least I was relieved that Snake hadn’t done the same things to me as he had done to Arisa. Just imagining it was terrifying. If that had happened, I would be in no condition to walk.

I recalled the time Messara and his friend simultaneously penetrated me. I would often remain unable to get up until the next morning. A fist could not compare to two penises combined. I imagined Snake’s fist. It was indeed a frightening thought.

When I contemplated Arisa’s intentions, I couldn’t help but think of Messara. The actions Messara had taken with his friend came to mind automatically. I loved Messara, but I had no intention of glamorizing his disturbing sexual preferences.

Messara was a pervert. Even he admitted that. Messara and his friend did all sorts of things to me. After getting permission, they lightly slapped me and often used strange devices.

There were various things, but the one thing they never skipped was simultaneously inserting their penises into me. They had done that to me from the first day. It was an overwhelming sensation. It felt as though I had been completely hollowed out. It was frightening and absurd. I could never have imagined such actions being possible.

What scared me more was the way Messara had looked at me while laughing. He gazed down at me with that same smile that only curled the corners of his mouth. When I turned my face away, he grabbed my chin and fixed it to his gaze. He persistently locked eyes with me, grinning. Because of that, I received a bad impression of Messara from the very first night.

And yet, now I love him. The moment Messara had grabbed my shoulder and said, “I love you,” replayed vividly in my mind. I could only laugh. It was absurd. I could only think that life is truly unpredictable. In retrospect, during our one-on-one encounters, he seemed to put in a lot of effort. As I recalled Messara, who had been grumbling and smoking, I couldn’t help but laugh again.

Here’s the translation of the text:

It was a bizarre connection with Snake. I wonder if he knows that he had embraced two Ray Arisas in one night. It was almost strange. Snake and I had crossed paths many times. No, in some ways, we had been encountering each other even before I recognized his existence—as part of the advisors to Lord Manen and Wolfscott.

How could I have had sex with him? I must have been out of my mind. Thank goodness I have no memory of it. With no recollections coming to mind, I felt no particular sensation. Perhaps this is why memories are such frightening entities.

Did I enjoy sex with Snake by mutual agreement? It was hard to believe. However, if I had been raped, there should have been marks left on my body. At the very least, there should have been bruises on my thighs. But there were no unusual signs on my body. Moreover, to be searching for a way to survive with his money—what an irony.

“How ridiculous, just ridiculous.”

I let out a bitter smile. Is there a level of desperation like this? It was a life so pathetic and funny that it brought me to tears.

Anyway, I had resolved to advise Lord Manen to avoid Guiger as much as possible. The current Guiger was not on the level that Lord Manen could handle. If things went wrong, we could be in deep trouble. Snake was clever, ruthless, and didn’t shy away from danger. The atmosphere he exuded was chilling. I felt it every time we clashed directly.

He was a man who should not be turned into an enemy.

Moreover, like me, his identity was shrouded in mystery. There was no way to assassinate him. For a month, I planned to provide Lord Manen with casual advice and then end this tiresome life of conspiracy.

꙳•❅*ִ

I bit into a cigarette and lit it. After placing a coffee cup on the table, I unfolded the morning newspaper. As I flipped through the pages, I suddenly stopped. There was a box article about the death of Sideburns.

As expected…

I smiled coldly. Just the day before, Manen had attended the opening party of the Moerike Hotel, where he shook hands with Sideburns. And yesterday, Sideburns died.

Hahaha.

I buried myself into the living room sofa and reread the article. It was clear. It was a warning. A warning directed at me. A kind of message to remove the leader of Rilize while also telling Guiger not to mess around. The signature of none other than Sideburns screamed that.

He was bitten to death by a snake.

By SNAKE…? Incredible. He had died in his car. In a big city where there shouldn’t be a snake, he gets bitten to death in his own car?

It was clearly murder. By now, Manen must have assumed that I was trembling in fear.

Oh, not at all. I smiled faintly and sipped my coffee.

That cocky old man. He doesn’t even realize he’s bitten me…

Thanks to that, my previously crumpled mood improved a bit.

I visited Ray’s house yesterday. First, I had already purchased the mansion on 17th Street. Since it would take time to complete the repairs, I planned to keep Ray in the hospital for now and observe his condition, so I went to his house. I knocked several times, but there was no response. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer and went down to the management office to get the key and opened the door. The room was empty. The used bookstore was also closed. What on earth could he be doing? It was frustrating. Something inside me was bubbling up.

When I asked a neighbor, they said they saw Ray leave a few days ago. I had thought he would stay home quietly since I had given him a check, but I couldn’t figure out why. Where the hell had he disappeared to? Was he wandering the streets in a daze? What if he ended up clinging to some random guy again? Hadn’t Ray once smiled and clung to the head of Guiger, whom he hated so much? Frustration surged within me. I tried not to imagine further.

Calm down.

For now, it was time to go to work.

As I drove, I fell into thought. Manen and Ray were entangled in a mess. I shook my head and pulled out a cigarette. I lit it as I turned the steering wheel.

Let’s start by thinking about Manen…

First, I confirmed that my assumption about Manen’s handshake was correct. Moreover, I had cleanly dealt with the bothersome Sideburns. With this, Rilize had entered a complete state of necrosis. Killing two birds with one stone. I preferred efficiency. Efficiency was crucial in any field. Rilize, bye-bye.

Now, shall we start the so-called “Catacombe Project”?

Upon entering the materials room, all the department heads had already arrived. Everyone was beaming. Cooperhead held up the newspaper and said, “Hey, Chief. You hit the nail on the head again this time.” Of course. Who do you think I am?

I took the elevator to the department meeting room, changed my clothes, and after a brief meeting, I called Cooperhead and Leopard.

“This is really incredible. Honestly, I thought it was absurd,” Cooperhead said, gulping down his scotch. Leopard shook off ash from his cigarette into the ashtray and added, “What are you planning to do from now on, Chief?”

“I need to set a double trap.”

“A double trap?”

“Through the handshake, Manen will gain information. The false proposal to Lord Wolfscott will be the bait. It’s a trap for Manen.”

“Oh.”

Both Cooperhead and Leopard whistled simultaneously. I smiled and poured vodka into my glass.

Cooperhead asked, “What’s this false proposal?”

“I’m going to return the favor in the exact way I was treated. Leopard knows what I mean.”

“Of course.”

Leopard smiled and raised his glass. Cooperhead frowned and alternately stared at me and Leopard. I leisurely savored the vodka. How could I tear Manen apart and crush him… Hahaha. Just imagining it was exhilarating. It was then that the woodpecker casually said.

“Oh, by the way. That blonde. I’ve been wanting to ask, but was it just a passing encounter?”

I almost spewed out my vodka. Luckily, I didn’t, but I ended up coughing.

“What? The blonde?”

Leopard reacted sharply. I coughed and set down the vodka. Cooperhead stared at me in astonishment.

Damn it. I, who was usually so composed, let it slip in front of Leopard of all people.

Leopard glared at me angrily.

“Cooperhead, you met Redfox too? Where?”

“Where else….”

Cooperhead stammered. He looked like he was about to burst with curiosity. That damned woodpecker wouldn’t stop blabbering once he started. I quickly lit a cigarette and walked to the window. Behind me, the woodpecker was making a ruckus with his beak. Leopard’s labored breathing added to the tension.

“…You’d love to stomp and crush my belongings, wouldn’t you?”

When I returned to the sofa and sat down, Leopard growled. Cooperhead paused while trying to pull out a cigarette.

“What is this all about? Did you sleep with Leopard too?”

Leopard and I fell silent.

Lord Wolfscott’s face was quite a sight. It was utterly crumpled.

Well, we should be the ones they trust and follow…

I cut to the chase and brought up the matter. Lord Wolfscott’s expression crumpled even more.

“Shall we blow the Catacombe power plant issue up into a scandal?”

“That’s right. As you know, if there’s a problem at a nuclear power plant, the repercussions are enormous. It’s a high-tech facility with advanced technology concentrated in it, and it’s a typical facility that the public abhors. If a poorly performing company is given the contract, it could easily draw the public’s wrath. It seems that Manen is about to engage in some corruption regarding the bidding for this nuclear power plant. I’ve heard that financial transactions have already taken place.”

“Hmm.”

Lord Wolfscott murmured lowly.

“What’s the amount of the ‘cookie’ Manen received?”

“Twenty-five million Talantens. It seems that the company is eager to win this bid, so they invested aggressively.”

At my words, deep lines formed on Lord Wolfscott’s forehead.

“Explain in more detail.”

“Yes. The bidding process for the Catacombe power plant is a Turn-Key process, meaning the company will handle everything from design to construction and then submit the final proposal to the client. The client specifies the desired performance, and based on that, they provide the estimate, costs, and construction timeline, which is then reviewed. The client, in other words, the government, will review the design, construction period, and costs to choose the appropriate company. However, Manen is planning to commit fraud here. He intends to pass a company that has submitted an excessively high cost for defective designs and substandard materials.”

“What’s the name of that company?”

“It’s Gryphon. The Gryphon company that approached Manen is a poorly rated company that has lost points countless times under the PQ system, which penalizes disqualified companies. I’ve also received information that Manen plans to bribe the university professors who will conduct the design review. Just give me the green light, and I’ll take care of it.”

“Um…”

Lord Wolfscott, who had been hesitating, tentatively asked.

“Is there any sign that Gryphon might contact us?”

“They already approached us. But I rejected them outright and sent them back.”

“Why not?”

“As I mentioned earlier, they are a seriously poor-performing company. Wouldn’t it be problematic to hand over construction of a facility as dangerous as a nuclear power plant to a bad company? We should use this to bait Manen.”

I said this with a straight face. Lord Wolfscott’s face turned red with anger, and he clamped his mouth shut.

He must be troubled. I silently laughed.

This government project involved the construction of five nuclear power plants in a row, a massive undertaking. The governments of Korea and Japan were planning to send a diplomatic mission to secure the Catacombe project, and astronomical amounts of money were expected to be invested. Lord Wolfscott also had a solid opportunity to take a share of the pie. It would weigh heavily on him to throw that opportunity away.

“I understand. I’ll think it over.”

Lord Wolfscott said in a sulky tone, waving his hand dismissively. I smiled and returned to my office. I called for my direct subordinates. I planned to do it just as before.

The deadline was set for two weeks. I ordered the team to approach the lobbyists from Gryphon. After gathering the inspectors, I instructed them to look into the romantic relationship between Manen and Gryphon. I also contacted the East Eden newspaper.

Finally, I gathered all department heads, excluding Cooperhead and Leopard, and seriously laid out the plan.

I had already mentioned it to Lord Wolfscott, but he seemed displeased. However, in my judgment, this was a golden opportunity to cut off Manen’s head. So I decided that you all should keep close to Lord Wolfscott and fan the flames. Leopard, Cooperhead, and I would focus solely on preparing the project from the background. The deadline was two weeks away.

The department heads agreed.

I planned to stay away from Lord Wolfscott for a while. If my suspicions were correct, Ryeong had other means of piercing into people’s minds besides just shaking hands. Despite the fact that Ryeong and I hadn’t shaken hands, he was able to figure out the date and plans for the media. If Ryeong could accurately pierce into a person’s mind without shaking hands, then Manen wouldn’t have needed to meet with the accountants. I surmised that the reason Manen needed to shake hands with the accountants was that he didn’t know the specifics of my plans.

I recalled a magnet. It attracts iron that is close but can only pull in a small amount of iron that is far away. I thought Ryeong’s abilities might be similar.

He can accurately scrutinize those he shakes hands with but only vaguely grasp those he doesn’t… This was my reasoning. My intuition screamed that this was correct. I settled comfortably into my chair. It was alright. I had set double traps for this. Whether Manen got caught or not, he was definitely a dead man.

A surge of hatred towards Ryeong welled up in me. No one had ever caused me this much trouble. I had unknowingly been dealing with such a wonderful character for seven years, I realized. Hahaha.

It didn’t matter. I would always be the one laughing in the end. That had always been the case.

Wait for it.

Smiling, I gazed out the window. For the next two weeks, all I had to do was wait for Manen’s response. During that time, I was thinking of looking for Ray.

꙳•❅*ִ

“What’s going on?”

Lord Manen urged. I had been silent for so long that he seemed to be getting impatient.

What now…

I smiled bitterly. It seemed that a comfortable month was not in the cards.

“I’m sensing something strange. Information regarding Lord Manen and Gryphon keeps pouring in from Wolfscott.”

“Lobbying, you mean?”

“Yes. Just a moment.”

Wolfscott was mulling over whether to escalate Lord Manen’s corruption related to the Catacombe power plant into a scandal. The problem wasn’t Wolfscott; it was Snake.

“Snake rejected lobbying because Gryphon is a seriously poor-performing company. Instead, he suggested to Wolfscott that they tie it to the financial transactions between Lord Manen and Gryphon. However, Wolfscott seems to have a different view. He’s furious that Snake has needlessly interfered and cost him the chance to profit.”

“Haha.”

“The ‘cookie’ you’ve already received…”

“Twenty-five million Talantens. Should we return it to Gryphon?”

I fell into thought. Besides the ‘cookie,’ Lord Manen also demanded a 10% commission from the company. He submitted a cost estimate that was significantly inflated compared to the materials used and suggested they share the profits from the tax evasion. If this turned into a scandal, it would put Lord Manen in far more danger than any media corruption. We had to be cautious.

“First, contact the lobbyist who gave you the cookie. Then get back to me. I think it’s too early to take action. Wolfscott seems to be displeased with Snake’s proposal. And please contact me after eleven at night if possible.”

“Understood.”

After finishing the call, I sat down weakly on the bathroom floor. I had to keep my voice down because Sonia was outside, and my legs were trembling throughout the conversation.

I left the bathroom. In the cramped studio apartment, Sonia was quickly running on the treadmill while watching television.

“Babe, who were you whispering to while hiding in the bathroom? Hmm… You always manage to do what you need to, don’t you?”

Sonia, who had been laughing heartily, tilted her head.

“But what’s with that birch branch in your hand? Did you take it to scratch your back or head while talking?”

“Well, sort of…”

I hesitated as I placed the birch branch on the table and sat on the sofa. A while later, Sonia, catching her breath, stepped off the treadmill and headed toward the bathroom.

“Don’t change the channel. My favorite drama is about to start after I’m done showering.”

The sound of water echoed from the bathroom. After a while, Sonia entered the room humming, wearing only a simple robe and with a cucumber mask on her face. As much as I was gay, it was still embarrassing to see her like that.

She offered me some cucumber slices, asking, “You want some too?” I recoiled in disgust. Sonia burst out laughing.

“Well, you probably don’t need to do face packs. They say men’s skin is naturally better. Even Owin doesn’t have any spots like I do.”

“Where are your spots?”

“Right here, see? You seriously can’t see this huge spot?”

Sonia pointed to her cheek. After staring at it for a while, I finally spotted a tiny speck, barely the size of an ant’s tear. I let out a dazed, “Yeah…”

“Oh, it’s starting. Today’s episode is the highlight.”

“You watch it alone. I’m going to take a nap.”

I pulled the sheets over me as the opening music for

played. Tonight’s episode featured the most famous climax scene of

.

“…Sorry, Sonia, but could you turn the volume down a bit?”

I hated that story.

I despised it.

It made me sick.

It was so revolting I could barely stand it.

Once upon a time… in an era long past, where green forests flowed everywhere, and fields were painted with buttercups, anemones, lavender, and daffodils, blooming in turn with the seasons, in a kingdom that existed centuries ago—now only preserved in paintings.

Back then, hummingbirds, skylarks, and bluebirds would land by the windowsill, fluttering their wings. This was a time when a cruel king ruled.

Foreign invasions were frequent, and internal disputes among the nobility were rampant. The king solidified his power by marrying the young daughter of a powerful noble. Not long after, her father died from a plague, and the daughter was confined to a tower. She spent her days as a queen in name only, never meeting the king or even being invited to official events.

The king never once sought out his queen after their wedding and showed not a shred of interest in her. He had a lover long before his marriage—a common woman named Levitan.

The king loved Levitan so deeply that he even considered divorcing the queen as soon as her father passed. However, since Levitan was a commoner, the king couldn’t marry her. Thus, he decided to stay married to the queen in name only, knowing that if he deposed her, he would have to marry another noblewoman, which would jeopardize his relationship with Levitan.

Fifteen years passed. And then…

Sonia tapped the sheets.

“Aren’t you going to watch this scene, babe? It’s so dramatic.”

“No, I’m not.”

One day, the king and Levitan disguised themselves as commoners and snuck into a street festival. Amidst the crowded streets, they lost each other, and while wandering, the king came across a woman with long black hair. Captivated by her exotic aura, the king asked her for a dance. As night deepened, the woman disappeared into the crowd. The king reunited with Levitan and returned to the palace.

“By the way, don’t you think the king in this series is really handsome? Seems like your type. You should watch it.”

Sonia chattered away cheerfully.

“I’m not into guys like that,” I replied.

At a royal masquerade, the king met the black-haired woman again, now serving as a maid. The king secretly followed her, but noticing she was being tailed, the woman fled. The king pursued her relentlessly. After a long chase, he caught her near the tower where the queen was confined. Despite her resistance, the king seduced her with sweet words, and under the moonlight in the birch forest, they were intimate.

When the king came to his senses, there was no woman, only a birch branch left beside him.

“He’s so indecisive. Why did he chase after the Snow Queen when he had Levitan? Are all men like that? So ridiculous.”

Despite carefully observing the maids afterward, the king couldn’t find the woman. Around that time, Levitan became pregnant, and the king considered divorcing the queen once again.

Then, a scandal erupted within the palace. The queen, consumed by jealousy, had used magic to curse Levitan. She vehemently denied the accusation. The king’s mother, enraged, ordered the queen to be imprisoned and brutally tortured. The king tried to calm his mother, saying there was no need to go that far, but soon after, war broke out with a neighboring country on the kingdom’s borders. Preoccupied with the war, the king forgot all about the queen.

Two months later, after returning victorious from the war, the king learned that the queen had died from torture a few days prior. Showing little emotion, he ordered her body to be buried in the wastelands. Soon after, he married Levitan as the new queen.

Months later, Levitan gave birth to a son, and the royal family threw a grand celebration. People from all walks of life came to offer gifts and congratulations.

And then…

“Babe! You

to watch this part! It’s so important! You keep sleeping, that’s why you’re acting so weird lately!”

Sonia impatiently pulled the sheets off me, urging me to sit up.

On the TV, a court painter was unveiling a series of portraits of the royal family. The king raised his wine glass to his lips, then set it down. Next to him, the new queen Levitan smiled as she held their child.

The king stared intently at one of the paintings.

“Who is that woman?”

“She’s the witch who cursed the current queen and was punished, disappearing into darkness, Your Majesty.”

“When did you paint this?”

“Have you forgotten? A year ago, Your Majesty commissioned portraits of the royal family. I visited the witch’s tower at that time to sketch her, and based this painting on that sketch.”

“What’s that in her left hand?”

“It’s a birch branch, Your Majesty. She said, ‘My name is Whitebirch,’ and insisted on holding it. Her hair is quite long, isn’t it? She said she’s rarely cut it since birth.”

Sonia’s eyes widened as if she had been waiting for this scene all along.

“A birch branch…”

The king, his hand trembling, set down his wine glass. His face was a mixture of shock, confusion, and disbelief. Levitan moved to support him, asking, “What’s wrong, Your Majesty?” The crowd murmured. The twisted sound of a violin accompanied the rise of the ending credits.

“Good! Goooood!”

Sonia clapped enthusiastically.

“Did you see the king’s expression? Isn’t it amazing? And then cutting straight to the ending! That’s how you leave a lasting impression. In the previous version, they dragged out the scene of the king sobbing and making a fuss for so long, I thought I was going to die from frustration.”

I replied, “Yeah, I see,” and quickly gulped down some water. My insides felt like they were burning.

Sonia hummed as she started doing her makeup. She twirled around the room in her fancy outfit, asking, “How do I look? Pretty, right?” She mentioned she had a dinner date with Owin. Sonia was planning to leave her bar life behind soon and start a family with Owin.

“Have a good time. I think I’m going to sleep now.”

After sending Sonia off, I pulled the sheets over my head. There was no other way to describe how I felt—just utterly down. The harsh fluorescent light penetrated the sheets and covered my whole body.

The drama scene replayed in my mind. The king setting down the wine glass with trembling hands. Did he really feel that way? Was there even a hint of surprise or shock? I wouldn’t know.

Because by that time, you were already dead.

A faint sound of a flute began to fill my ears. Laughter echoed around me. And then, swirling veils and skirts spinning in circles.

No… Please, just leave.

Go away, you fool!

A firework exploded within my half-opened vision. Slowly but surely, everything in front of me was changing amidst the flow of time.

“Wow…”

A cloak fluttered. It was a crystal-clear night under a full moon. The sounds of a flute and drums scattered in the night sky.

You were running. Wearing a butterfly mask, a shabby dress, and a cloak, you dashed through the crowd. The wind playfully lifted the tattered hem of your skirt, teasing you. For a moment, your hair burst out from beneath the cloak’s hood and scattered wildly.

Children wearing masks stared at you in awe, saying, “Wow, I’ve never seen someone with such long hair.” They ran ahead of you. The air was thick with the smell of burning wood. It was suffocating.

“So this is what a festival feels like…”

You murmured, your heart racing with excitement as you walked slowly, buying a flower and leisurely looking around. Everything seemed fascinating and fun.

Suddenly, someone grabbed your shoulder from behind, saying, “Levitan.” It was an unpleasant name.

You turned your head sharply to find a man standing there.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I must have mistaken you for someone else.”

The man smiled. You glared at him, barely holding back your anger. He looked you up and down with curious eyes. His gaze was rude. You shook off his hand and tried to walk away.

“Wait a moment.”

The man stepped in front of you.

“I apologize if I made you uncomfortable earlier. If it’s not too much trouble, may I have the pleasure of a dance?”

His demeanor was polite. Right beside you, countless couples were dancing joyfully. You had never danced before. But since you had already snuck into the commoners’ streets, you thought, why not?

“Alright.”

You took the man’s hand.

“But I’ve never danced before. You’ll have to lead me well.”

Your black hair tangled with your laughter as it whipped in the wind…

“Stop it! How long are you going to torment me?!”

I screamed and threw off the sheets, jumping to my feet.

I grabbed one of the cigarettes Sonia had left behind, lit it, and took a drag. Sonia had once said, “Wow, for a beginner, you smoke really well.” Just as she said, it hadn’t been long since I started smoking, but I didn’t have much aversion to it. The bitter taste spread across my tongue.

It doesn’t matter.

It does matter.

My mind was a mess. I glanced at the corner of the room. Sonia had placed a large full-length mirror in the middle of the room. It was decorated with a bouquet of roses Owin had given her not long ago. I slowly stood up and walked toward the mirror.

Gradually, it came into view. Under the red roses, you appeared. Your blood-soaked face emerged. Your long, black hair, like drenched seaweed, came into view. Dark clouds, like a mask, swirled over your face. A human figure—yet half of your face was so decayed, it was impossible to make out any features. Below the face, the body looked like an ordinary man’s.

I slowly brought the cigarette to my lips and took a deep drag. Smoke seeped out from the decayed lips of the face in the mirror.

How could I possibly stay sane seeing this?

Considering that, I guess I’ve done pretty well.

Marata once said, “You’re not inherently weak. If you were, you wouldn’t possess an Orchitunica. Only those with a strong mind can hold an Orchitunica.” But if that so-called strong mind was the source of my Orchitunica, then I would curse it without hesitation.

My Orchitunica was clairvoyance. I could sense the latent memories, forms, and sensations of everything I touched—be it people or even objects. Even Marata, who rarely gave compliments, had said it was “formidable.” And this formidable power also drilled into the memories buried deep within my own soul.

That’s why I needed an exclusive contract with Lord Manen. By binding my clairvoyance to him alone, I was able to experience some peace for the past ten years.

I glanced at the mirror again. The face reflected in the mirror was grotesque enough to make me nauseous. From the occasional comments of others, I could guess that my real face wasn’t as disfigured as it appeared to me. Still, it was hard to endure. I spent most of my time shut inside. When I did go outside, I hid myself as much as possible. I avoided meeting anyone’s eyes.

Yet, one day, I ran into a gay bar and entangled myself with unknown men. At a bar called Snow White.

Of all places, a bar with a name like that.

It was chilling. Snow White, really? Could this be a coincidence? The long winter in the kingdom was a weather anomaly, but people had started calling it “The Snow Queen” at some point, attributing it to the vengeful spirit of Whitebirch. Whitebirch was a tree that thrived in harsh cold.

When Sonia told me about the masquerade ball job, I refused. The mere mention of a masquerade ball was reason enough to decline. But you… Whitebirch desperately wanted to go there. So much so that you seized my mind, just to dash toward the ball. You were that desperate to reunite with the king. Did you smile to yourself the entire ride with Sonia? I was scared. Scared of Whitebirch’s relentless obsession.

“Stop it! You’re an idiot! He doesn’t love you!”

I screamed at the air, almost frenzied. My head ached, and I slowly lowered myself onto the bed. A dizziness, as if sinking into a grave, engulfed me. A line from an opera drifted through my mind.

“Forever forsaken, forever impoverished, forever destroyed…”

A miserable, pathetic, and ugly past. It was revolting that this was what you and I had endured. It’s human instinct to love oneself, but I wanted to reject it. I wanted to deny the fact that my entire life was stained with nothing but filth. I wanted to deny the miserable existence I instinctively had no choice but to love.

Whitebirch had endured that desolate time only to die after two months of brutal torture. The nightmares that had plagued me since childhood grew worse, surrounding me like a prison. From age twelve to seventeen, it was unbearable. I couldn’t even tell who was Whitebirch and who was Ray Arisa. You were a germ, a disease consuming me.

And people laughed at your tragedy.

I pulled a book of paintings from my bag beside the bed. Whitebirch’s portrait, a popular piece because of its tragic story, was included in many art books. In the portrait, Whitebirch wore a pure white velvet dress, her gaze softly averted. She had delicate features and the cool, crescent-shaped eyes of a classic East Asian beauty. Her hair, which she reportedly rarely cut, reached down to her feet—about the same length as mine now.

Whitebirch still wondered:

She whispered to herself, despite their only meeting twice. However, the notion that the king was shocked and put down his wine glass was a later embellishment by storytellers. The records merely stated,

Only the king himself would know his true feelings. Ray Arisa had no interest in caring, but Whitebirch was different. She obsessed over the king, endlessly pondering him. It was like having two personalities battling within the same body—like quarrelsome conjoined twins. Ray Arisa found Whitebirch utterly pathetic.

Crazy.

But in any case, it was somewhat fitting. After all, Whitebirch, who had fallen into the abyss of ruin while casting clumsy curses, had reincarnated as the genius sorcerer Ray Arisa. I only hoped this cursed cycle wouldn’t carry on into the next life. Mercifully, the gods had gifted Ray Arisa a dispassionate temperament alongside a cold pragmatism. I took a deep breath and tried to steady my thoughts.

I brewed some coffee and poured it into a cup. Swallowing the scalding liquid, I closed my eyes.

My memories are playing back in order with time… If I can overcome the torture and death that Whitebirch endured, maybe I’ll finally be free. After that, Whitebirch’s memories should end.

I prepared dinner. Recently, I’d been eating like a madman, to the point that Sonia joked I must have worms in my belly. It was a desperate attempt to build up my strength in case it would help somehow. As I chewed through my food, I muttered to myself,

“I met with Gryphon’s lobbyist today. In the evening, I shook hands with Wolfscott at the party.”

“Alright, let’s take a look.”

At 2 a.m., I started my call with Lord Manen. Sonia wasn’t expected back until six in the morning.

“The lobbyist has contacted Guiger… He revealed himself as a Guiger agent. He offered a massive bribe while demanding information about Lord Manen, promising absolute confidentiality.”

“They still haven’t learned their lesson, huh. What about Wolfscott?”

“Wolfscott seems to have changed his mind. He’s considering threatening Gryphon with, ‘You’ll give them a hefty payoff but leave me with nothing?’”

“Hah.”

“But something’s strange. Wolfscott and Guiger aren’t working together. If Wolfscott demands money from Gryphon, it would make it impossible to go after Lord Manen. And yet, Guiger is trying to get information on Lord Manen by contacting Gryphon’s lobbyist?”

“Maybe the mob boss is acting on his own again.”

“That’s the only explanation. I’ll keep an eye on Wolfscott and see if I can break through Snake. Just wait.”

“This time, it better work.”

I spent two hours observing Wolfscott. Though someone persistently tried to influence him, Wolfscott was deeply dissatisfied. Words like,

flooded the air. Several names were frantically tangled together.

As always, there was a dark aura hovering around Wolfscott. It must have been Snake. This time, the aura felt strange again. Was it because Arisa’s death had shattered the alliance between Rilize and Guiger?

I focused my mind on the dark aura.

“The day is two weeks away… I see numbers. That’s all I can tell.”

“As I expected. So, what should we do? Should we return the cookie?”

“Do as you see fit.”

I replied curtly. Handing over something as dangerous as a nuclear plant to an unscrupulous company was not something I wanted to be involved in. There was no point in trying to stop it. Lord Manen never backed down when it came to money. I knew him too well.

Before revealing that he had a terminal illness, Lord Manen had always been delighted to receive my consultations for free. He’d nearly lost his mind over the fees he had to pay Marata for advice. Now that I was leaving, he was starting to regret things a little. At least he had a shred of conscience left.

“Is there no way to handle this like we did before?”

“We’ll see.”

I maintained a vague stance.

Greedy old man…

The lazier thing was that I was still trying to squeeze out any more thoughts. I clicked my tongue. There was no helping it.

“Tomorrow, Wolfscott has a lunch meeting with the broker. It seems he intends to officially make contact with Gryphon Corp through the broker. The broker’s name is Hoffman.”

“Tracey Hoffman, I see. He’s recognized as a capable broker of Jewish descent.”

“Yes, you know him. For now, return the cookie to Gryphon Corp. There’s a good chance Guiger will act on his own again. For the time being, we should take a step back. If Wolfscott manages to get the cookie from Gryphon Corp, Guiger will likely stop his activities, but it’s still wise to be cautious.”

“Understood.”

Lord Manen hung up the phone, clearly pleased. I tossed my phone aside and tried to sleep. I had a bad feeling. A sense of doom kept crawling down my spine. I didn’t know why.

Lord Manen moved quickly. Four days later, a call came early in the morning.

“I’ve returned the cookie. Wolfscott and Hoffman shook hands.”

“I understand. Let’s wait and see.”

My guess was right. Wolfscott had instructed Hoffman to make contact with Gryphon Corp. No matter how many seats the Tattooed Nobles held, Wolfscott was the one favored by the king, and he had told Hoffman to demand that they acknowledge that. Since they had given Manen 25 million talantens, they demanded 30 million talantens for themselves. Hoffman was scheduled to meet with Gryphon Corp lobbyists this week.

Then Lord Manen revealed new information. Once again, there were signs of coordination between the prosecutors and Guiger. Unlike last time, the security was somewhat lax, so they managed to gather concrete information. It was, of course, related to the cookie Lord Manen had obtained from Gryphon Corp.

However, since we had already returned the cookie, it amounted to nothing. Lord Manen breathed a sigh of relief.

“Then we just need to wait for Guiger to back off.”

“Yes, but I’m sorry, Lord Manen, I think you should give up on the money this time. Instead, you should strike back at Wolfscott. Expose the financial dealings between Wolfscott and Gryphon Corp as a scandal.”

“Well…”

Lord Manen hesitated and hung up the phone.

The following Wednesday, Lord Manen contacted me again, asking me to take a look since he had shaken hands with Wolfscott.

Wolfscott had threatened the department heads to step back from the Catacombe power plant project. He ranted that they were pathetic for trying to tie him up with Manen and told them to come up with another plan. However, Snake had a history of pushing ahead with a media campaign behind Wolfscott’s back. There was a chance he would try something similar this time. I strained every fiber of my being to pierce through the dark energy.

“The D-Day date has disappeared. No matter what I do, I can’t see it.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, but who knows. Stay cautious and monitor the prosecutors’ moves until the end of the week.”

“Understood. Well, it’s only a few more days.”

Lord Manen smacked his lips in satisfaction.

I had had enough. I resolved to make my intentions clear, even now. I was disgusted with myself for offering advice on such filthy matters. Marata’s death anniversary was in ten days. If I couldn’t overcome Whitebirch, this might be the last time I visited Marata’s grave. I wanted to live quietly for Marata’s sake.

“Once this matter is settled, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t contact me anymore.”

Lord Manen remained silent. He, too, was thinking of Marata’s anniversary. He also knew full well how much I loathed my own disgrace. We had moved as one for ten years, and we could read each other’s thoughts by now.

“There’s nothing I can do. I’ll contact you only after the situation with the prosecutors is fully resolved. Do you need anything?”

“Just as always, lay roses on Marata’s grave.”

“You knew, didn’t you?”

“Of course. You’ve always been one step ahead of me, haven’t you, sir?”

Every year on the morning of Marata’s anniversary, Lord Manen had someone lay roses on her grave. Roses were Marata’s favorite flower.

Lord Manen was beginning to let go. He was well past seventy, an old man. As I declared I would stop advising him, he was also considering retirement. This Catacombe power plant project was, so to speak, his last hurrah.

I hung up the phone and leaned back on the sofa. My head ached terribly. Whitebirch kept sobbing. Why hadn’t I revealed to the king that night, “I am your wife,” she cried. I endlessly recalled the king, whispering to her in the forest, “This is the first time I’ve felt such emotions.”

First time feeling emotions, what a joke.

I snorted in disbelief.

Bastard.

So what did Levitan mean to him? Wasn’t she the woman he loved so much that he didn’t visit Whitebirch even once after the wedding?

The king’s advances were nothing more than a poisoned apple offered to strip the proud maidservant of her dignity. I was convinced of it.

“Snow Queen” enthusiasts claimed that the king’s closeness to Levitan was a political move to keep the Tattooed Nobles in check. Whitebirch’s father was a prominent figure among the Tattooed Nobles. By keeping Levitan close and distancing himself from Whitebirch, the king had made his stance clear, aligning himself with Levitan’s family, who, though low in status, were wealthy, and securing practical gains.

History is all about interpretation.

I smirked coldly and drank some water. I turned on the television and stared blankly at the screen. It seemed like something was moving on the screen, but my vision was blurry. Just thinking about the birch forest made my blood boil. If I had been there, I would have turned that bastard into a frog or a toad and stomped on him until my heart was content. I would have slapped Whitebirch across the face and screamed at her to snap out of it.

Whitebirch had disguised herself as a maid and snuck into the masquerade. There, she spotted the man she had once danced with. Whitebirch gasped in surprise. It was the king. Her husband. Yet, he was tenderly dancing with another woman.

After finishing his dance with the woman, the king began to slowly walk around the banquet hall. His indifferent gaze eventually rested on Whitebirch.

“You are…?”

The king approached Whitebirch. She turned and bolted from the hall, and the king followed. They ran for over an hour, nearly sprinting, all the way to the northern tower. The king relentlessly pursued Whitebirch until he finally caught her by the waist.

“Aren’t you a handmaiden? Why are you running?” the king asked.

Whitebirch concealed her identity. Her husband had forgotten her face and was now captivated by another woman. Whitebirch, proud as she was, did not want to reveal herself to such a man. Instead, she left only a single Whitebirch branch next to him, hoping he would recognize her identity through it.

However, the king had long since forgotten even Whitebirch’s name. Yet, the emotions that gripped him upon seeing her were powerful enough to cast everything else aside.

“Stop. Just stop it already. This is ridiculous. Get a grip, you fool!” I shouted in a voice that was more of a gasp. My head ached. No matter how much I yelled, it wasn’t going to reach Whitebirch, who had lived centuries ago. It felt futile. How could all of this have happened so far in the past, in a distant, ancient time? These vivid memories surged forth, sharp and clear, yet they were nothing more than fragments of the past. It didn’t make sense. How could Whitebirch love the king so much?

“Just get revenge! Hate him! You should be consumed with hate!”

The pain hit me like a tidal wave. If only the king hadn’t said, “This is the first time I’ve felt this way,” maybe Whitebirch would have been able to let it all go. Tears welled up. I shouldn’t have felt this way, but I pitied Whitebirch. No matter how resolute I tried to be, it was impossible to resist. It was as if I was drowning.

꙳•❅*ִ

I reviewed the recent report on Manen’s movements. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was incredibly amusing. Everything was unfolding exactly as I had predicted, to the letter. I wanted to double over with laughter. Copperhead and Leopard were utterly astonished. From now on, they would follow my every word without question.

After the countdown began, we avoided Lord Wolfscott entirely. The other officers were tasked with shadowing him, feeding him false information. It was a classic bait-and-switch.

And Manen took the bait. As I skimmed the report, it confirmed once again that my magnet theory was spot on.

Leopard flicked his cigarette ash and asked, “So what’s the next step?”

“We wait until Hoffman meets with Gryphon’s lobbyists. Ryeong will definitely take another pass at Hoffman. Around that time, we’ll pull our agents from the Gryphon lobbyists, feeding them the line that they have no choice but to back off because of Lord Wolfscott. We’ll also pull the agents we planted within the prosecution. Once we do that, Manen will probably demand the cookies back from Gryphon again.”

“Interesting.”

“When he does, we’ll raid the place. The police are in cahoots with Lord Wolfscott, so after that, our only job will be to make a quick getaway.”

“But what about Lord Wolfscott? He’s getting cookies from Gryphon too, right? What are you going to do about that?” Copperhead asked.

“We’ll recruit Hoffman at just the right time. We’ll delay Gryphon’s handoff to Lord Wolfscott. All they need to say is that they gave so much to Manen that it’ll take time to gather the cookies for Lord Wolfscott.”

Copperhead muttered, “Man, we really can’t afford to make an enemy out of our chief.”

Leopard smirked, “You’re just realizing that now?” and stubbed out his cigarette. I gave a faint smile.

“Anyway, we’ll be moving separately from the other officers. It’ll take time, so let’s take it easy until then.”

Despite my words, the past two weeks had been anything but relaxed.

Ray had vanished without a trace. As soon as I got off work, I would go to his house and stand guard, but there had been no news. I walked around the neighborhood, asking if anyone had seen a blond man or a strange coat, but it was all a dead end. The new house I’d bought was almost finished with renovations, but the person meant to move in was missing. It was maddening. I didn’t even know if he was alive.

Still, there had been some progress. My suspicions had been confirmed. The neighbors considered Ray to be mentally unstable. I finally understood why they always glanced at me like I was some juggling monkey when I knocked on his door.

“He often gestured toward the air as he walked down the hall, as if he was trying to push something away. He flailed his arms a lot, but didn’t seem to notice he was doing it. I even asked him once what was going on, and he just said, ‘When did I do that?’ There was one time when he stood in front of his door for hours, completely zoned out.”

According to a middle-aged man who lived across the hall, they also often heard shouting from Ray’s room, though he lived alone. He said it was impossible to figure out who Ray could have been yelling at.

Ray? Shouting? That was something I could hardly imagine.

“That’s the strange part. I’ve lived across from Arisa’s room for almost ten years, and we’ve barely exchanged a word. He was usually quiet. No, more than quiet—he was practically a ghost. And if there was someone he was angry with, you’d expect there to be some kind of relationship, right? But Arisa only ever went back and forth between the bookstore and home.”

“Do you have any idea why?”

“Well… Arisa always walked around in winter clothes, even in spring, completely bundled up. It was practically a disguise. My relatives who visited thought Arisa was a burn victim because of how covered up he was. And Arisa stands out a lot, you know? So it’s even weirder. The neighbors used to gossip about whether something bad had happened to him in the past.”

“Did you ever hear him mention anyone by name when he shouted?”

“No, he only ever said ‘you.’ It was always one-sided, like he was the only one angry. And it’s been like that for nearly a decade, ever since I first saw him.”

“Did you hear what he was shouting about?”

“Not really. Oh, but the shouting got a lot more frequent over the past few months.”

The middle-aged man suddenly furrowed his brow.

“So, what’s your relationship with Arisa?”

Instead of answering, I pulled out a check from my wallet and placed it in his hand. His eyes widened as he looked at the amount.

“If you see him, call me. I’ll pay you triple this amount.”

I handed him my phone number and entered Ray’s room. An indescribable feeling washed over me.

I lit a cigarette, took a deep drag, and smoked two more before calling Copperhead. I explained the situation and asked him to keep watch over Ray’s house. Copperhead was nearby, fortunately. For guys like him, killing time looked the same whether they were gay or straight.

Twenty minutes later, Copperhead knocked on the door and entered. “Wow, this is Blondie’s place? Why’s it so bare?” he muttered as he looked around.

“Damn, it looks like our chief’s really into him, huh? First the masquerade ball, and now this? Blondie’s gone missing, huh?”

“Stay here and keep watch. If he shows up, let me know right away.”

“Got it,” Copperhead replied as he curiously scanned the bookshelf.

“Whoa. Chief’s Blondie has some unexpected hobbies. There are some interesting books here. What’s this? Even Chinese military strategy books? I wonder where he got all these. Is he a fan of ‘The Snow Queen’? There are a lot of Whitebirch books too. This is a surprise.”

“He runs a secondhand bookstore. It’s not strange for him to have a lot of books. Just keep an eye out.”

Leaving him with those words, I stepped outside. In the night sky, the Snow Queen was taking long, white strides. My head was a mess. Where on earth had Ray gone? A fierce winter storm was raging. At this point, I just hoped he was safe, even if that meant having another man by his side.

It felt like a stone had lodged itself in my chest. I hated to admit it, but it was excruciating. At twenty-nine, I was cursed with this emotion that had appeared as if by magic. I hated it. If I’d had this experience before, I wouldn’t have made this mistake. How had I not realized it sooner? Why had I dismissed it as mere lust? I constantly thought about him, always scheming to visit him, and felt jealous over the most trivial things.