The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol

Who was Lea Purple?

Having debuted five years ago, they were sunbaes who were way out of our league.

However, when it came to fandom and recognition, we were ahead.

They were also idols who were currently gaining popularity with a song that made a reverse run thanks to the new algorithm.

It was a time when management was clamping down hard, so perhaps that’s why…

“Hello! One, two, three! Speak when we say! We are Lea Purple!”

“We are Lea Purple!!”

Their energy was no joke.

“Ah, hello!”

“We are The Dawn!”

We got swept up in the moment and shouted back with full vigor.

That’s right, kids. Better to have spirit than to be disheartened.

“Sorry for calling you out of the blue! We should be careful since the collab announcement hasn’t been made yet, but we felt it was urgent to have a talk!”

“Thank you for having us despite your busy schedule.”

As we took turns greeting and were about to sit down, the system window suddenly popped up.

[Options:

1. How dare you summon us here? You must be prepared, right?
2. .. Nice to meet you. Hoyun.
3. Guys, our collab is screwed.]

Damn it.

I had been trying to cut back on swearing, but looking at this system window shit, I couldn’t help but curse. It was clear that it was just messing with me for no reason.

Obviously, I couldn’t choose the first or third options, so it must mean I should go with the second…

I muttered the line through gritted teeth as quickly as I could.

“Umm… Nice to meet you. Hoyun.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Nice to meet you.”

“…Did I hear that wrong?”

I could feel the members glancing at me, but I put on a poker face and sat down sternly.

Fortunately, the next thing I knew, the leader of Lea Purple stood up straight and greeted us loudly, allowing us to gloss over the awkward moment.

“I sincerely congratulate you on the success of your ‘Kill the Lights’ activities!!”

“Ah, th-thank you….”

Seong Jiwon was taken aback by Lea Purple’s rigid demeanor and responded with round eyes and an awkward thank you.

But they didn’t stop at the first verse.

“I was truly moved by your last ‘Shining Star’. Following that, ‘Ocean Train’ and ‘Kill the Lights’ not only showcased The Dawn’s world view but solidified it!”

“…Th-thank you. I also regularly enjoy Lea Purple’s ‘Headlight.’ I’m always amazed by the clean high notes….”

There were no cameras filming us right now so such behavior was a bit…

Occasionally, I’d catch glimpses of Lee Jihyeon’s explosive demeanor.

Seong Jiwon, having taken the baton from the Lea Purple leader, laid out praise for them, and a warm atmosphere circulated the meeting room.

Guys….

…This wasn’t the time for that.

Things were seriously bad.

“—So about our collaboration.”

“Oh, yes.”

The moment I brought it up, the previously overheated atmosphere of “You’re the best” and “No, you’re the best” quickly turned gloomy.

Lea Purple also seemed to be aware of the gravity of the situation as they were unable to meet our eyes and kept fidgeting.

“I heard we’re doing ‘Let’s Spend the Night’ together.”

“…Yes, that’s a hit song by Seo-senior from our agency… Our CEO is really pushing it.”

= Hey, I’m really sorry, but we have to go through with it no matter what.

I understood what they were trying to say without them having to make such a distressed plea. Their agency was in as dire a situation, like Daepaseong Entertainment.

…Sigh.

Alright, for now… let’s just say okay.

I brushed back my hair, trying to shift the mood and changed the subject.

“Then first… shall we have a listen?”

Everyone nodded with tense eyes. As the youngest member of Lea Purple rushed to play the song, we all listened seriously and solemnly.

“Tonight, I’ll show you the secret I’ve been hiding,

Ooh Hoo Let me show you,

No more thoughts of running away.”

“…Oh.”

The song was better than expected. “Let’s Spend the Night” had a rich melody and progression worthy of its popularity.

And the initial beat wasn’t as sticky as I thought.

“Even listening to it again, the melody’s really good.”

Kang Ichae lightly bobbed his head to the rhythm, his eyes sparkling as if the soul of the composer was boiling within him.

Just as Kim Seonghyeon, who had been on edge about the song, finally eased up, thinking it wasn’t too shabby, and took a drink of water to moisten his dry throat, the next lyrics made him spit the water out in surprise.

“Every night, I feel so lonely,

Please hold me tight (Ah-),

I want you to hold me tight.”

“Pfft!”

“…Wow.”

“Cough, cough… S-sorry….”

“….”

Not only Lea Purple but even we started to go pale.

“Babe, Give me a Kiss Kiss!

Let me Bite Bite!”

…Ah…

“Babe, Please come to me (Ah-)

I want to fill myself with you.”

“…Cough, hack…”

How did this not get censored?

No matter how many times I heard it, I couldn’t get used to it. The songwriter’s unyielding will to cram every possible meaning into a song suitable for all ages was glaringly obvious.

In this place (including Kim Seonghyeon, who was practically choking to death), there was no one who didn’t understand the meaning of those lyrics.

Of course, as always, our maknae was the exception. While everyone else turned pale, Jeong Dajun alone clapped and smiled brightly.

“Wow! The melody is so romantic and nice!”

“…”

“But what about the last part? What does it mean by wanting to fill…?”

“Dajun!!!”

I quickly covered Jeong Dajun’s mouth and took a deep breath. Even with his mouth covered, Dajun muttered, “Does it mean he wants to be filled with love?”

But the atmosphere turned 10 degrees colder, as if someone had turned on the air conditioner in the middle of winter, and I, too, lost my words.

“…What should we do with this?”

“…Change it. There’s no way we can go with this.”

Even when I listened to it alone, I thought, “Ah shit, this is a bit much,” but listening to it with Lea Purple and Jeong Dajun, who was as pure as a national treasure among today’s teenagers, it felt insanely awkward.

As I was straight to the point, the maknae of Lea Purple clenched her fist with an expression that seemed to say, “Exactly, that’s the fucking problem!”

“I’ve expressed our concerns to the company… but they said it’s difficult. They say there’s no song as representative as this in our agency. What do you think at Daepaseong Entertainment?”

= Hey, this looks fucked. Can your company do something about it?

“Our company doesn’t have a different opinion, either.”

= Our company is shit.

“…”

Lea Purple fell silent again, apparently understanding the message correctly.

Sure enough, Daepaseong, especially the CEO, would always sneakily stay quiet at times like these.

It seemed like they had been pressured by Lea Purple’s agency to take on the song, and they kept putting it off, probably thinking I’d raise all sorts of hell if they told me earlier. In the end, a decision was made without any prior notice.

I sighed.

The cooldown must be over.

Even if you try to live righteously, the world just doesn’t help you out in such a blatantly unhelpful way.

As I was carefully choosing my words on what to do next, Lea Purple took the initiative.

“May I… just make one comment?”

“Yes, go ahead.”

The main dancer took a deep breath as if making a significant decision.

“Phew, I think everyone here knows our situation. So, skipping the preamble…”

“…”

“If we go with this concept… at least, Lea Purple will be utterly ruined.”

“U-unnie…!!”

“So!”

The main dancer of Lea Purple shut her eyes tightly.

“Let’s just dance like wooden puppets!!!”

The other members of Lea Purple, initially startled by the main dancer’s straightforward remark, soon agreed with gloomy faces.

“Let’s definitely not touch each other. We’ll have to pair up in couples since we have to modify the original choreography, but let’s maintain a two-meter distance between people and minimize talking. And avoid eye contact!!”

“Yes! And let’s not talk without our masks on!”

“Of course, that’s a given!!”

“…Social distancing?”

Kang Ichae mumbled something that sounded very familiar.

But Lea Purple was dead serious. They didn’t want to blow the opportunity they had barely grasped through a reverse charting success.

At first glance, it might seem like a ridiculous suggestion…

No, it’s actually smart.

I honestly agreed with the suggestion too.

Although the words themselves were somewhat absurd and might seem funny, Lea Purple was truly clever.

“…Then shall we try practicing like that?”

Seong Jiwon cautiously suggested, and with everyone’s agreement, we moved to Lea Purple’s practice studio…

“Every night, I am lonely.”

“Is this about two meters?”

“It seems just right!”

Perfect, just about my foot…

It was originally a choreography that involved holding hands, but now we were standing about two meters apart, stretching out just the tips of our fingers like in the old sci-fi alien movie E.T…. and it just looked bizarre.

“I’ll turn on my own!!”

“Then I’ll pretend to turn you!!”

Give me a Kiss Kiss!

Let me Bite Bite!”

Like rotating a partner in a waltz, the dance was supposed to flow, but it abruptly broke off, and with an outstretched hand, the partner twirled on their own—it looked less like choreography and more like a dark sorcerer’s puppet show.

Kang Ichae quietly murmured as he watched the scene unfold,

“This reminds me of that old famous meme, right?”

“The one with the idol-controlling dark wizard from the audience?!”

“Ah, yes!! That one!”

…Anyway, after the barely four-minute performance ended, no one could find the words to continue.

“…I-it wasn’t too bad, was it?!”

“Of course not!”

Lea Purple’s leader cautiously spoke up, and Jeong Dajun jumped to his feet, giving a thumbs up. Seeing the other members clapping along, trying to show support, I couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for our situation.

It was a sight that took my breath away.

Let’s cut it off here.

“…How about we all take a break, sunbae?”

“Let’s do that!”

All members of Lea Purple nodded their heads like crazy. I thought to myself that they really had a tough life.

“I’ll step out for a moment.”

“Sure, take your time!”

I nodded in lieu of a formal bow and stepped briskly out of the building to get some fresh air.

Actually, this was kind of a habit. I used to step outside to smoke and sort out my thoughts.

I murmured to myself while touching my lips.

“…What should I do?”

Honestly, I thought it was wise to stage it according to Lea Purple’s suggestion but seeing it in action made me change my mind.

This was… uh…

“What was it called again?”

Ding!

[Bluetooth Circus troupe?]

“Ah! That’s right.”

Yeah. That was the perfect description. I snapped my fingers and nodded vigorously.

This isn’t enough to hit the mark.

So, let’s put that aside for now and spin the wheel of happiness.

The best course of action was to avoid getting entangled in any scandals.

Perhaps the dance, overly cautious of physical contact, might elicit sympathy from the public, or maybe it would become more popular as a funny video.

I could already play back in my mind the mockery people would make of this Bluetooth Circus.

[Ah, kids, I get it, you’re serious

└Damn, their determination to avoid scandals is so obviousㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

[But if they’re going to do this, why even bother with a collab? ㅋㅋㅋ It’s uncomfortable for both the performers and the audience

└I’m totally satisfied with it

└└Got it]

“…Huh?”

Thinking about it, this wasn’t too bad either.

Putting aside the end-of-year stage’s hype strategy, I thought pretending to be pitiful in front of the public wasn’t a bad approach.

But there was something that bothered me.

Ding!

[^^]

[Seo Hoyun]

[What are you thinking?]

Yes, that damned quest.

They asked for overwhelming quality.

But with this circus act, there was no way to show that kind of quality. I sat down heavily on the stairs behind the building and furiously ruffled my hair with one hand.

“Your thoughts.”

[…Yes?]

“The thought that someday you’ll bury me.”

[ㅋㅋ Should I show you the quest again?]

The system window taunted me, perfectly catching onto my thoughts.

[Quest Re♡ac♡tion♡ Successfully complete the collab stage with a sexy concept!

Show the public overwhelming quality.

Successful completion: 5,000 points awarded.

Failure: Dance stats will slightly decrease (B+ to C+)]

I let out a short groan. No matter what I thought, I had to come out with a sexy concept that would gain public recognition. I buried my face in my crossed arms and chuckled softly.

“Where do you want to be buried? Pick a spot in Gyeonggi Province.”

[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

[Think of me again, please♡]

Just saying its piece and then disappearing. That damn system window.

I sighed as I sent a text to Lee Jihyeon.

It was an SOS.

– Me: Lee Jihyeon

Before I could finish typing the next sentence, the 1 disappeared quickly, and a response came from Lee Jihyeon.

– Planning Team Lee Jihyeon: Lea Purple?