The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol

“Urgh~!”

“Ughhh….”

Since the final end-of-year stage had no awards to give out, it was now time to just enjoy ourselves.

Setting the stage on fire left my whole body aching.

I wasn’t worried about making mistakes, but I put so much effort into my moves during the dance break that my bones creaked alarmingly.

It’s because of my age…

“…Give me some water.”

“Here, drink. Drink.”

I grabbed the water bottle that was handed to me and emptied it in seconds.

“Can I rest now…?”

“Probably, it should be okay…”

Everyone had poured their hearts out as if it was their last, despite not having much sleep, so as soon as the stage was over, the tension was released, and we all melted into a sluggish state.

Returning to the dressing room and getting some rest and cold water seemed to bring us back to our senses.

…It wasn’t too bad, right?

Although I hadn’t seen the audience’s reaction yet, recalling the raw, vivid warmth from the audience, it didn’t seem too bad.

And watching the subsequent performances from the dressing room, I realized that the other groups, much like us, had prepared with equal passion.

I wonder what our rank will be next year.

Even though we were a bit more known now, compared to other groups, we still lacked in years and recognition.

Attending such an event where all the top idols of the year gathered made that gap feel even larger.

It’ll take two years at best… Four at most to reach our goal.

As long as we made it to the top tier, whether at the end or wherever, the quest would be a success, so I had no plans to drag this on any longer.

But….

“Wow, Black Call-seniors are coming out.”

Seeing this kind of thing made you realize how absurdly ambitious our dreams were.

“…”

“Wow…”

All the members watched the screen with their mouths agape as if their souls were being sucked out.

I looked at the close-up of Joo Woosung’s face, feeling genuinely fed up.

Ugh.

“You can be my King, just say the word and I can make it right.”

Black Call released only one title this year, and it was “Kings,” a concept based on a masterpiece.

Joo Woosung, draped in a black cape embroidered with gold, was unmistakably at the pinnacle of idol-dom.

Shit, can I ever surpass him with my skills?

He felt drastically different from a year ago.

The brat who claimed it was impossible to beat a natural talent had, against all odds, personally proven it.

As I gulped down more water, I heard Jeong Dajun muttering next to me, his focus unwavering,

“When will we ever get to close the show?”

“Three years.”

“Eh?”

“Four, if it’s long.”

“…Why are you so definitive?”

Because I had no intention of dragging this beyond that.

I said this without looking at Jeong Dajun,

“Maknae, just trust this hyung and follow me. I’ll give you a ride not on a bus but a roller coaster.”

“…Don’t get my hopes up. Or I will really take your word for it, you know.”

“You can have high fucking hopes.”

As always, I was confident.

Jeong Dajun, moved by my words, tried to pounce on me, but I deftly avoided him.

He pouted, and behind him, a staff member’s voice announced it was time to get ready for the ending.

As usual, the December 31^st end-of-year stage concluded with a famous veteran singer starting a hopeful song, then midway through, all performers would gradually join them on stage. It will then end with a countdown.

We slowly made our way up the stairs to the stage.

“This isn’t our last, it’s a new beginning

Let’s sing together with all our hearts—”

“Wow~. The year really is ending like this.”

“Ahaha, it’s nice to be all together.”

“Let’s sing together with our hearts, that we all have lived

So it’s okay to love us.”

Everyone moved gently to the song, clapping along or waving their hands to the beat.

“Hyung.”

“So it’s okay to love us.”

As the song ended, a thunderous applause erupted.

“Hoyun-hyung!”

Oh, was it me?

With a gentle smile, ready to respond like the other idols for the broadcast, Jeong Dajun poked me on the side.

“Uh, you know.”

“What?”

After locking eyes for a moment, Jeong Dajun looked down and barely moved his lips.

I wanted to tell him to lift his head as it might be caught on camera, but Seong Jiwon spoke up, making Jeong Dajun suddenly lift his face.

“Oops! The countdown’s about to start!”

“Ah!! 59 seconds until Jeong Dajun becomes an adult!!”

“Wow~.”

“Wow~.”

“Such a lukewarm reaction!!”

– “Everyone! It’s a new beginning! Let’s do the countdown together!”

As the MC finished, the countdown to the new year began.

– “30! 29! 28!”

A little white breath could be seen coming from all the performers as they began the countdown.

Joo Woosung, accustomed to the countdown from years of participating in such events, stood at the front, chatting and laughing with his fellow Black Call members.

The view in front was filled with the various colors of fandom lightsticks.

The most numerous were, of course, Black Call’s, followed by White Cherry’s, Lea Purple’s… etc., there were quite a lot.

How much longer do I have to be pushed aside here?

As I pondered, I caught sight of our lightstick, a blue triangle, in the distance.

It could be that they were here with someone special, for the memories, or simply as fans.

But regardless, it was clear that these people had come out on this cold day to see us.

“17! 16! 15!”

Jeong Dajun was jumping excitedly next to me, and Seong Jiwon joined in.

“2!”

Kim Seonghyeon counted down in a soft voice, and Kang Ichae turned to look at me.

“1!!”

And then he smiled.

As soon as the last number was called, brilliant fireworks went off.

“Happy New Year!!”

The MCs followed up with their New Year’s greetings.

It was the start of a new year.

“I’m aging another year!”

This is my second time turning 24.

Convincing myself that it was okay to shamelessly claim to be 24 when I was actually 34—as it was technically my legal age—I looked around.

First, I greeted the audience in the stands.

People who were close to each other celebrated the New Year or exchanged hugs and greetings.

“Yeah….”

Well, good for them.

I just wanted to wrap this up quickly and go home.

Then…

“Seo Hoyun!!”

Kim Seonghyeon suddenly grabbed my arm.

“Happy New Year!”

The other members piled on top of that.

“The fireworks. The lights. The temperature. See? It’s all prepared for us. Don’t get so moved you cry!”

“Ahaha, cry?”

“I won’t cry unless I see 7.1 billion won in my bank account.”[1]

“…Hoyun’s tears are quite expensive, huh.”

Amid the excited members, I couldn’t help but laugh, as the song the staff had pre-informed us about started to play. It was a sort of signal that today’s schedule was over.

Following everyone off the stage and back through the corridor to the dressing room, I felt someone’s gaze pierce through me.

Ah.

It was Yoon Heeun.

He wouldn’t know that his dysfunction was my fault.

As I smiled and nodded at the guy glaring at me, his eyebrows twitched. He then began to walk towards me.

Is this a New Year’s celebration?

I was about to respond with a fresh retort for the first argument of January 1^st when I felt someone pull me from behind.

“Crazy.”

It was Joo Woosung.

“Happy New Year.”

He casually draped his arm over my shoulder and sneakily glanced at Yoon Heeun.

Seemed like he intervened, thinking Heeun might start something with me.

This guy too…

Yoon Heeun, noticing Woosung stepping in, quickly managed his expression and only greeted him before passing us by.

Of course, Woosung ignored him.

Watching this, I slowly matched my steps with Woosung and said,

“Still as much of a pushover as last year, huh?”

“That’s the most annoying thing I’ve heard this year.”

Hadn’t the year just barely begun?

Since the corridor back to the dressing room was buzzing, making it hard to hear, Woosung and I exchanged light-hearted jokes.

“You really attract a lot of weirdos, you know?”

“Including Mr. Joo Woosung?”

“…I take back what I said earlier. That’s the most annoying.”

Woosung grumbled that probably for the next three months, he wouldn’t encounter a more irritating comment.

Just then, from afar, his fellow Black Call members waved at Woosung.

“I’m off.”

I wasn’t sure if he had come over just to cover for me.

As he patted my shoulder and began walking towards his members, I called out to his retreating figure.

“Woosung.”

He used to avoid me like the plague when I was still a PD, but now he seemed to be trying to look out for me.

Honestly, it was baffling.

“Happy New Year to you too.”

At least I could say that much.

Woosung, turning around, looked slightly surprised before bursting into laughter, his eyes curving into crescents.

“Okay.”

“…”

“But why the informal speech?”

“For the New Year.”

“Always has to have the last word, this asshole….”

Though he said it was annoying, Woosung chuckled.

He swiftly moved away without giving a glance to any other idols around, heading straight to where his fellow Black Call members were.

Talent, effort, and now, even character.

Watching a top-class idol who had changed in every way, I, still lacking in manners as always, soon turned away.

“Hoyun! Come on.”

“I’m coming.”

New Year, new beginnings.

Like a spell that made everyone laugh and chatter, we all were buzzing with excitement.

I passed through the crowd and headed down to the parking lot so that we could finally return to the dorms.

The parking lot was also a sea of people, all eager to head home.

As soon as we boarded the van, the atmosphere quieted down a bit, and Kim Seonghyeon poked Jeong Dajun, who was sitting next to him, on the cheek.

“Jeong Dajun, congratulations on becoming an adult~.”

“Ahaha! Thank you~.”

“You were lucky. Next year, minors will have to leave work by 10 p.m. no matter what.”

“…Was I almost counting down alone in the waiting room?”

“Yep.”

Dajun would have truly felt left out, murmuring how fortunate he was to be born a year earlier, while Kang Ichae nonchalantly made a joke.

“It’s about time to introduce you to the bitter taste of society.”

“What? You mean what I’ve been through so far isn’t the end?”

“Still a long way to go…”

The members, still not over their excitement, were noisy as well.

Dajun, grinning despite the teasing from the older members, suddenly turned his head to look at me sitting in the back seat.

“Hyung, take this!”

And he offered me a candy that had been crumpled up in his pocket.

“It’s a gift to prevent your lungs from getting black!!”

“Wow~, such consideration.”

“Our bunny! Let’s vigorously quit smoking in the New Year too!”

“Thanks for the good wishes. But now, stay away from Kang Ichae.”

And stop rhyming.

Yet Dajun seemed to have more to say as remained facing me even after finishing his verse.

“Hyung, also, because the timing didn’t match up during the countdown earlier, I couldn’t finish saying this.”

Dajun’s giggly face came into view.

“I don’t need to stand on the final stage within three years.”

“Huh?”

“Isn’t it okay to take it slow? What’s wrong with it taking a long time, we’re going to keep going anyway.”

“…Ah.”

I stuttered a bit.

“Uhm….”

Missing the timing to respond, Dajun looked more embarrassed.

“Why, what’s wrong?”

…I first unwrapped the candy Dajun gave me and rolled it in my mouth a few times before changing my expression completely.

“—Taking it slow, are you crazy? You don’t plan to make it before you enlist?”

“Hoyun-hyung is already discharged from the military.”

“Sorry, but unlike you, Seong Jiwon and Kim Seonghyeon will be quite old by then.”

“Seo Hoyun, do you want to start the new year with that kind of talk?”

Kim Seonghyeon sighed deeply.

“This emotionless realist….”

“Gotta teach the twenty-year-old the bitterness of society.”

Dajun, tilting his head slightly, luckily didn’t catch any hints and chatted away with Seong Jiwon.

At that moment, I heard the voice of the manager organizing the schedule, who was seated next to the driving road manager.

“Guys! At least make a call or send a text to your families.”

“Ah, yes!”

Dajun immediately took out his phone.

Judging by his nod, Kim Seonghyeon already seemed to have sent a text.

From the New Year.

Instead of texting Seo Hojin, I just turned my head out the window.

Hits right from the New Year…

Click!

A flash went off, causing me to squint and turn my head.

Kang Ichae, seated next to me, was smiling brightly as he lowered the Polaroid camera.

“What are you doing?”

“Ahaha.”

While everyone else was texting their families, it seemed he had dug out the Polaroid camera from the back seat.

“Taking a boyfriend shot~. I’m planning to post it on the official account.”

“I’m the boyfriend?”

“Kyaa~, I’d rather not have you as my love interest~.”

Kang Ichae laughed and then, waving the photo back and forth, asked,

“But Seo Hoyun, why are you spacing out alone? It’s New Year’s; you should be happy and enjoying yourself.”

“It’s my early morning sentimentality, please don’t disturb it.”

“Aiyo~.”

Kang Yichae, who had been playfully bantering in response to my light retort, checked the photo and then held it out for me to see.

It was slowly becoming clear.

“How is it? Pretty, right?”

“You took it well.”

“I’ll take one for you next year too.”

Kang Ichae smirked.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to take one of each member on New Year? It would be good to collect and look at them later.”

Considering the scenario progress for the next two, or maybe four years.

I’ll probably take at least three or four.

“Knowing him, wouldn’t he just shove it in a drawer and forget about it?”

“So, I thought about keeping it in Seonghyeon-hyung’s drawer. Please take care of it~.”

“…So, it ends up being my responsibility.”

“Ah, I want to see too!”

I handed the Polaroid photo to Seong Jiwon.

Watching Seong Jiwon chat cozily with Kang Ichae, I rested my chin on my hand.

“Pretty! I’ll take one for you too.”

“Oh, sounds good~.”

“Really, collecting them one by one would be so nice.”

Seong Jiwon.

– “Being cautious, lying, hiding. I did all that because there’s something I wanted to know.”

He may have stumbled, but I couldn’t deny that he was a wise guy.

– “Everyone has something they’re desperate for.”[2]

That was true.

I didn’t know at his age, but Seong Jiwon already did.

He’s right.

“So, what do you think, hyung? A good plan, isn’t it?”

I, too, was desperately curious.

“Yeah, whatever.”

I smiled at Kang Ichae.

Once I leave this world, I might never see him again, or he may not remember me even if we met in the original world.

He would probably be sad if he knew my true feelings.

“Maybe take more next year.”

It’s okay since I didn’t make a promise I couldn’t keep.

“Hyung, so how does it feel to be twenty-four?”

“Damn touching.”

“…Eh? I get it for me becoming an adult, but why you?”

“You’re young.”

“Isn’t it usually the opposite??”

What would you guys know?

After all, I’ve regressed.

[1] About 5.3 million USD.

[2] See Episode 118.