The True Confessions of a Nine-Tailed Fox

The snow leopard demons, as it turned out, didn’t know what was going on either. “The barking deer of the Azure Lake are in charge,” they told us.

So Bobo and I went to the barking deer. Their clan chief, whose long canines made her face look as if it were frozen in a snarl, told us, “It’s the red pandas you want.”

The red pandas, for their part, told us, “Go talk to the pikas.”

The pikas told us, “It’s the antelopes.”

From there, we went from the antelopes to the gazelles, the gazelles to the black bears, the black bears to the musk deer, the musk deer to the squirrels, the squirrels to the rhesus macaques, the rhesus macaques to the wild asses (yes, in case you were wondering, they were – what else would you expect from demons?), and the wild asses to the black-necked cranes.

As for the cranes, they shrieked and chased us away from the carrying pouches for their eggs, which were apparently prized delicacies to other demon clans. It took some doing, but eventually we convinced them that we weren’t there for dinner.

Their clan chief turned out to be significantly smaller than the rest of them. He was a whitish-greyish fellow with a black head and neck and a crimson spot on his forehead. When he reared up at our approach and spread his black-edged wings, they didn’t even extend four feet to either side. I assumed he was posturing to overawe us – but then he dove at us.

Aaaaaahhhh! I shrieked, which was thankfully drowned out by Bobo’s equally undignified, “Eeeeeeek!”

I shot to the side as blackand white feathers engulfed the snake.

Bobo! trumpeted the crane.

Wait.

Bobo, it’s you! It’s really you! What are you doing here, of all places?

Somewhere from inside all those feathers, Bobo’s muffled voice asked, “Ssstripey? Is that you???”

Yes! Yes, it’s me!

“But you look ssso different!”

The crane laughed, and in the deep chortle, I heard echoes of the duck’s chuckle. I reincarnated as a crane this time, Bobo. Of course I look different.

“You sssound different too!”

Well, I’m not actually a crane spirit. I’m an awakened soul inside a crane’s body. So my voice isn’t really coming from my throat.

Bobo’s long, bright green tail whipped out from under the feathers and looped around the crane’s body several times. “Ssstripey! Ssstripey Ssstripey Ssstripey! I misssed you ssso much!”

I missed you too, Bobo.

I was about to fly at Stripey and fling my wings around his neck too when a terrible thought struck me. Why would Heaven allow Stripey to reincarnate with his mind? Was this a horrible trick played by some god?

Probably. But which one?

The Kitchen God? No. I was doing good work on his Temple, good work that was nowhere near complete. Even if he planned to eliminate me afterwards, he wouldn’t act at this juncture.

Aurelia? No. As much as we had…disagreed on certain issues (such as whether she should have been Empress – or alive, for that matter), she wasn’t a raccoon dog. She wasn’t that spiteful.

By – by Cassius?

Hiding in a shrub a safe distance away, I demanded in my best Bobo voice, reminding her of our ventriloquist act, Wait. How do I know you’re really Ssstripey?

The question was really out of place, considering how Bobo had wrapped the crane up in a giant snake hug, but it had to be asked.

Still looped around his body, Bobo froze. Her head popped up between his wings so she could stare him in the face.

The crane, meanwhile, was craning (haha) his long neck to hunt for the source of the voice. Who was that?

“Oh! That was me!” Bobo trilled. “I’m a ventriloquissst, sssee?”

To complete the illusion, I continued, I can project my voiccce around, sssee?

The crane folded his wings. When did you learn that? And why?

From the mage, of courssse! I answered, testing to see if he’d supply the correct name.

From Floridiana? I wasn’t aware that she knew ventriloquism.

His skepticism was a good sign. Because Floridiana, so far as I knew, didn’t know ventriloquism.

“Oh, ssshe does!” Bobo assured him. “Uh-huh! Uh-huh!”

But enough about me, I said. How have you been doing? Have you been in the wessst the whole time? Why did you get to keep your mind? What have you been up to? I hid the most important question in the middle of my barrage.

The crane considered for a moment. What have I been up to? Well, not learning ventriloquism, that’s for sure.

The wry answer was so like Stripey that my throat constricted. Please let it be him, please let it really be him, I thought. Bobo wouldn’t be able to bear it if it turned out to be an imposter – and neither would I.

As for how I got to keep my mind…. The crane’s long neck swiveled around and he stared straight into my shrub. Then he started waddling towards me, awkwardly because of the snake still wrapped around him. I have you to thank, Rosie.

At the old nickname, which almost no one used anymore, my heart actually stopped.

It restarted itself, of course.

Apparently the Kitchen God likes what you’re doing down here. Flicker convinced him that you needed…help.

A minder, you mean, I corrected before I could stop myself.

Yes. As you say. You do get carried away, Rosie.

I did. And Stripey would know that. Goodness knew he’d had to rein me in often enough in the Claymouth Barony. No one else had ever been as effective at it as he, before or since.

Flicker would know that. And prefer it if my actions didn’t get too out of wing. But who’d have thought the star sprite clerk would have grown the spine to suggest anything to the Director of Reincarnation?

Prove it. Prove you’re really Stripey. Tell me something only the real Stripey would know. What was our last conversation? My voice cracked near the end. I wanted it to be him so, so badly. What if he weren’t Stripey after all? What if this were all a sham?

If you’re looking for absolute, definitive proof, I can’t give it to you, said the crane, with that bluntness I remembered so well. You can always say that the gods are watching everywhere, all the time, and that they fed me all the answers beforehand.

Unfortunately, that was true, especially of the Kitchen God, whose literal job it was to spy on everyone on Earth all the time so he could report their doings to the Jade Emperor.

But to answer your question, the crane continued, our last conversation was in the waiting room outside Flicker’s office, after we both died killing Lord Silurus. You were very upset that you weren’t going to see me again, so I promised to return to Honeysuckle Croft whenever I awakened.

I was not upset! I snapped on instinct. I was being practical and planning ahead!

Yes. Yes, you were, he said, and that skeptical tone, that gaze that cut right through my posturing, were pure Stripey.

It was him.

It was Stripey. He was back.

And I hadn’t needed to wait a hundred years to see him again.

I shot out of the shrub and threw myself at his neck, and he wrapped one wing around me and the other around Bobo, and we stayed like that for a long, long time.

So why didn’t you go back to Honeysuckle Croft? I scolded later, after we finally disentangled ourselves.

It’s not so easy to travel all the way across the breadth of Serica, Rosie, he pointed out. I was – am – in the process of returning to Honeysuckle Croft.

“Ooooooh!” cried Bobo. “That’s why you’re with the demons!”

Wait. Stripey, please tell me you didn’t incite this demon migration just so you could return to Honeysuckle Croft.

If he had, it was going to be very, very bad for his karma total. So bad that I’d have to make sure he never died again.

Nah. C’mon, Rosie, give me some credit, will you? It just seemed like the perfect chance to travel east. And since my clan was suffering in the Wilds, I brought them along. I figured I could settle them in the Claymouth Barony.

Right – a thought had been niggling at the back of my mind. If Stripey were only a mind in a mortal body, how had he won leadership over an entire clan of demons? (And how could I do it too?)

But before I could ask, Bobo burst out, “Oh! Oh oh oh! Ssstripey Ssstripey Ssstripey, did you hear? Lord Magnisssimus ssstarted a pig farm!”

A pig farm?! And Stripey exploded into laughter.

Yep. And you’ll never guess what Taila did when she saw me last time, I told him.

Uh-oh. Do I want to know?

Between the two of us, with our words tumbling over and overlapping each other, Bobo and I gave him a somewhat coherent summary of what everyone was up to. By the time we reached Floridiana and Dusty, and how the queen of South Serica had tasked us with saving the kingdom, Stripey had sobered up.

I assume something terrible will befall this ‘Katu’ if we don’t stop the demon horde? And that you would prefer that nothing terrible happen to him?

A tiny cry far overhead made us look up. A vulture demon glided past, a wailing human in its claws.

Yeah. His love poetry is, well, you can read it for yourself later, and he has absolutely no common sense, but he’s a decent person under all that.

“Alssso, the Kitchen God will be really upssset if we lossse his High Priessst,” Bobo added with shocking common sense. “Right when the Temple’s going ssso well!”

Stripey shrugged his wings in that trademark gesture of his. There was a lot more wing to shrug now, and it did look impressive coming from a great crane. Then we’ll just have to stop the horde.

And he turned to look at me.

That was not what I’d expected. I blinked back at him.

I assume you already have a plan? he prompted. What do we do?

Well, yes, but…aren’t you going to ask what the plan is first? And how much it’s going to cost?

He burst out laughing again. Hardly! It sounds like you’ve found a new treasury to bankrupt. Belonging to this “Lady Anthea.” So long as it’s hers, and so long as she doesn’t mind you bankrupting her, who am I to complain?

I just hoped he never discussed Temple finances with the raccoon dog. Of course she doesn’t object to my spending! The Kitchen God is her patron god, so she’s very supportive of this Temple project.

Throughout our reunion, the crane demons had maintained a respectful distance, but now one finally waddled up and interrupted us. “O Mighty Chieftain, Beloved of the Gods, we respectfully crave to know when we might move on? The other tribes are leaving us behind, and we fear that it is unsafe for our eggs in these hostile, unpacified lands.”

Indeed, while we’d talked, the dark mass of the main horde had progressed far into the distance, leaving behind only pockets of demons. The rest of them were drawing closer and closer to the walls of Goldhill.

Stripey nodded at the crane, who was at least a century older than he, as a wise grandfather would nod at a grandchild. Tell everyone to be ready to go at my signal.

“Mighty Chieftain, Beloved of the Gods”? I asked with a smirk when the crane was out of earshot. It sounded like a title Dusty would bestow on himself.

Stripey shrugged his wings again. Yes, well, it worked so well for you, I figured I’d give it a try.

It only worked for me because Flicker was willing to pop down, I pointed out. How’d you pull it off?

He arched his wings, like a pair of raised eyebrows.

No way! You’re kidding, right? He came down here for you too?!

It was his idea, wasn’t it? And I needed to establish my bona fides, didn’t I? So I called on him, and he showed up. Guess the Kitchen God really wants you to succeed, huh? He nudged me with one wingtip.

Huh. So the blaze of golden light that had appeared over the Temple altar back in Goldhill – that had not been the god himself after all. That had probably been one much-put-upon star sprite clerk. No wonder the light pattern had reminded me of Flicker’s!

Raising a wing, Stripey called, “Kurrr! Kurrr!” at the other cranes. One came over and lowered her belly to the ground next to Bobo, inviting the snake to climb aboard. Once she was settled, the whole flock rose into the air, with Stripey at their head. I flew next to him, trying not to show how hard it was for a sparrow’s tiny wings to keep up.

So, I panted, do you know who’s in charge of this horde? Everyone seems to think it’s someone else.

Stripey chortled. I do. And you’re going to love it when you find out.

I was getting worried now. Who is it?

Why, the Fox Queen, of course.