The True Confessions of a Nine-Tailed Fox

“Why’re we listenin’ to birds?” grumbled a wolf demon. “When we left the Wilds, nobody said nothin’ about listenin’ to birds.”

A peacock hissed and darted his neck forward, aiming to peck the wolf’s eyes out.

“Shut up, cur!” bellowed a yak. “Nobody said nothin’ about listenin’ to your yappin’ neither!”

The foxling had arranged for the chieftains of all the major clans to show up in a large field at the same time so she could introduce them to the representative of the great Flos Piri – and so far, they were proving to be as fractious as you’d expect from a bunch of demons.

Pallus, the manul whom I’d met when Bobo and I were touring this traveling circus, fluffed up his tail. “If we’re done here, I have some hunting to do.”

“We haven’t even started, you mangy cat!” squawked a vulture.

At that, all the fur on Pallus’ body stuck out, and he gave a yowl that rattled the earth. “Shut your beak, you disgusting carrion-eater!”

Ah, the sounds of my childhood. Put two demons together, and they’d find some pretext to fight. You couldn’t separate fangs from jugular long enough to point them at a common foe. Not unless you had a proper ruler who could control them, that was.

It remained to be seen whether the foxling was that ruler.

Draped across a lounge that her rosefinch handmaidens had set up, she was watching the chieftains squabble with a sparkle in her eyes and a smile on her (reasonably well-shaped) lips. I was beginning to wonder whether I needed to remind her why we were all here when she lifted one finger.

“Silence!” roared a leopard. “The fox has something to say!”

Sphaera gave a delicate wince, as if to distance herself from such a crude ally. She stayed firmly draped on her lounge, even though her middle tails had to be going numb under her back. “Friends. Dear, dear friends. Just today, I received news of the greatest import, and of course I had to share it with you all.”

“News of the greatest import?” asked the yak.

“Are we importing gold and jade and spoils from the North?” demanded the vulture.

“She means she has important news, bird-brain,” snapped Pallus. “Now shut up so the rest of us can listen.”

“You shut up, you hairless cat!”

While the two bickered, the leopard stalked over to the two of them and opened his mouth in a roar that blew them back head over tail. “Both of you shut up when she’s talking!”

Chastened, rubbing various parts of themselves, the two demons slunk away to opposite sides of the gathering.

The foxling sighed, her eyes filled with sorrow. “Friends, it pains me that we must put on such a disgraceful display for the representative of the greatest demon who ever lived. Let us not shame ourselves before the eyes and ears of Flos Piri.”

She might as well have lightning-bolted the gathering. All of the demons froze, jaws and beaks agape, fur and feathers standing on end.

“Flos Piri?” a voice whispered.

With this pitiful mortal sparrow hearing, I couldn’t determine if it were in terror or awe. Probably both.

That gazelle I’d seen in the foxling’s tent earlier gasped, “She’s back?” and then cringed and hung his head when the foxling’s gaze landed on him.

“But she’s dead!” screeched the vulture, flapping his wings until black feathers flew off and raged around him. “She’s dead! Heaven murdered her! How’s she back?”

As ugly as vultures were, this one had set up the perfect entrance for me. Well, not a literal entrance, per se. I was hiding in a tree over their heads, alongside Bobo and Stripey.

Little ones, I proclaimed, in as deep and regal a tone as I could manage. Did you really think that Heaven could stop Flos Piri? Did you really believe that death could conquer her?

“Who’s there?” demanded the wolf, twisting his thick, furry neck every which way but the correct one. “Who’s talkin’?”

The wind carried the foxling’s sigh to all the demons’ ears. “Friends, I did warn you that Lady Piri sent her representative to us, did I not? She is here, observing us, even now.”

Ashamed, the wolf fell silent and hunched his shoulders with his ears flattened against his skull. The demons closest to him edged away, in case I smote him for his rudeness.

Your doubt in my mistress pains me, I reproved them. Yes, Heaven executed her after a sham trial, but little did they know that they gave her the opportunity she awaited: to learn the secrets of death itself!

A gratifying, collective gasp of awe.

“Will you share these secrets with us?” asked the peacock eagerly. “Are you here to share these secrets with us?”

I tsked. Do you think secrets learned at such cost are merely to be given away? Especially to those who have done nothing to prove themselves worthy?

I nodded at Bobo and Stripey, and at my signal, they moved so that the assembled demons could see the flash of feathers and the gleam of scales moving inside the tree. They all gasped again, assuming that the representative of Flos Piri was some great beast they had never seen before.

“Great lady, how may we prove ourselves worthy?” the foxling asked, feigning ignorance.

Certainly not by squabbling amongst yourselves and tearing the land apart! All eyes turned to Pallus, the manul who could literally create earthquakes and landslides, but I snapped, Metaphorically. I meant metaphorically. Build, little ones, build. Build a lasting legacy. Build an accomplishment worthy of my mistress.

At that, they looked even more baffled. “Build? But didn’t your mistress – ”

The foxling interrupted, “Come, friends! Isn’t what she asks of us clear? She doesn’t want us to copy what she did in the past! She wants us to think of something new!” Her voice dropped into a hushed, reverent tone that wasn’t feigned at all. “She granted these words to me: Ask not what you can do to equal events of the past, but what you can do to surpass them.”

Another silence, equal parts thoughtful and confused.

“Surpass them?” asked the wolf. “But how?”

“We are going to reunify Serica. And then we are going to take down Heaven itself.”

Uh…. Oh boy.

I really hoped no one in Heaven was listening.

After I got the demon horde on board with the plan to not destroy South Serica, all that was left to do was to hammer out the details as to how they would not destroy it. Namely, what they would get in exchange for ceasing their demonic activities and turning into good little spirits who contributed to the social, economic, and cultural life of the kingdom. Because now that they had seen how easy and convenient life could be in the lowlands, there was no sending them back to the Wilds.

“They’re a lot like Lord Magnisssimus and the rock macaques, aren’t they?” Bobo mused. “They jussst want a new home. Do you think they’ll ssstart farming pigs too?”

As far as I was concerned, this batch of demons was welcome to farm anything it wanted – so long as it wasn’t humans.

I made that absolutely clear to the foxling. Sphaera Algarum, my mistress has a precept of ultimate importance for who all seek to follow in her path. Will you hear it?

The foxling’s eyes were shining, and her five tails quivered with excitement. She clasped her hands before her chest. “Of course! Gladly! I would be honored to be accorded her wisdom!”

Wow, her reverence for me really was gratifying. Not to mention convenient.

Then hear my words as if they come from her own lips.

She bobbed her head over and over.

Thou shalt not smite humans, nor consume their flesh.

Her shining eyes went wide. “Not smite humans? Or eat them?”

No. Thou shalt not smite them, nor consume their flesh.

“Not at all?”

No. Not at all.

“Not even a little?!”

No. Not even a little.

A stunned silence. “But then why did we come down from the mountains at all? Why did your mistress come down from the mountains? If it’s not to eat human flesh, what was the point of all this?!”

Well. She wasn’t wrong about that. I had first left the squabbling demon kingdoms of the Snowy Mountains to pursue easier access to human flesh – so much fattier, so much sweeter than stringy meat from wild game that barely survived in the harsh environment of the mountains. And when I’d first reached the foothills, I’d marveled at the abundance of tender humans, ripe for the snatching. By the time Lady Fate found me, I’d already made a name for myself in the borderlands and was contemplating what to reach for next, now that my belly was full – how I could go further.

Meeting this foxling brought a wave of nostalgia for those long-ago times. Not that I had any desire to return to them, but they had been simpler.

Hear me, Sphaera Algarum. I’d noticed that every time I used the foxling’s full name, she stood a little taller. There is so much more to life than simply filling your belly, even with the most delectable delicacies possible on Earth.

I added the “on Earth” on purpose, reminding her not to get bogged down in her baser instincts. Perhaps it would have been wiser not to point her at Heaven when I wasn’t positive I wanted her to destroy it, but I’d stop her if she went too far. Right now, I needed to motivate her to look beyond devouring all the humans in sight all the way to Goldhill.

We are foxes. We play the long game. We are not so short-sighted as to fixate on our bellies and forget our greater goals.

“We…?” she asked, confused. I glared at her, and she backed down at once. “I’m sorry. These are words of wisdom from your mistress. Forgive me for interrupting.”

My mistress has a command for you. For now, you will content yourselves with settling down in South Serica and acting as loyal subjects of the throne.

“We will? But – are we not taking over all of Serica? Why are we swearing fealty to a human ruler instead?”

The long game, Sphaera, the long game. How will you take over and rule all of Serica when you understand only the tiniest, rudest corner of it? You have seen the old paintings, have you not? (I knew she had, since she had mentioned one that depicted me reclining on a lounge.) Who in the civilized cities will respect an empress from the Wilds who knows nothing of the finer arts or scholarly traditions? You must learn! Learn all you can, about as much as you can! Only then will you be effective as empress.

Every time I repeated the word “empress,” the foxling’s eyes gleamed more brightly. After all, not even I had claimed the throne, only advised the man who sat upon it. If she wished to surpass me, here was her path forward.

Or so I wanted her to think. Watch this little five-tailed foxling claim the throne that not even I had sat upon?

Never.

“I will!” she swore, and for a second, I thought she was defying me to vow that she would become empress of all Serica. Then she continued, “I will convince all of them to settle down in South Serica, and we will do whatever it is that loyal subjects of the throne do here while I learn everything I need to know to take over.”

Good. Your fervor will be pleasing to my mistress.

“But the South Sericans hate us so much.” She made a face, as if it weren’t entirely the demons’ own fault for pillaging and devouring their way across the kingdom. “How will we convince them to let us settle down among them?”

My mistress will arrange for a miracle.