The Villain Wants to Live a Quiet Life

The shock from the incident that had just occurred still hadn’t subsided, possibly due to the strangely elated mood since we went out together. Such a mistake wouldn’t have happened, otherwise.

How could I face Ludwig now?

We almost touched our lips. We stared at each other from such a close distance, our bodies overlapping, unable to utter a word until his maid arrived.

If it had been my usual self, I could have quickly escaped from his embrace, but I couldn’t.

No, in this case, ‘didn’t’ might be a more appropriate expression.

I wanted to stay close to him for as long as possible.

Even if I wasn’t consciously aware of it, there must have been an unconscious desire not to leave his embrace.

“Sigh…”

If Paula, who had gone to fetch water, hadn’t returned, how long would we have stayed like that?

Surely, unless he pushed me away, we would have remained close for several more minutes. Perhaps I might have impulsively done something more.

However, what bothered me was his expression just before we separated.

His face, which seemed like he had done something he shouldn’t have, showed more bewilderment than embarrassment.

‘Did Ludwig… dislike it?’

I couldn’t properly confirm what changes occurred in the lump above his head due to the situation. My anxiety only intensified.

Perhaps the notion that he had started to have feelings for me was simply a misunderstanding.

At least, I didn’t think a man who had just come of age would make such an expression while holding a woman he favored.

‘I don’t like that…’

I’ve just started to gain hope. Isn’t it too cruel for it to be crushed so mercilessly?

When people start to have negative thoughts, they tend to plummet to the depths of that abyss.

It seemed that this rule wasn’t something I could avoid either.

No, perhaps it was because it was me that I was more easily swayed by emotions.

Until I met him, I couldn’t find color in anything I saw in the world.

Until I conversed with him, no words in the world resonated with me.

I couldn’t smell any fragrance from anything other than the flower that was him.

He’s the man who opened up a new horizon in the world within my heart.

For me, being distanced from him was no different from a blind person who had regained sight returning to the time when they couldn’t see anything.

‘Come to think of it… maybe it’s natural.’

It’s not something to brag about, but I had developed a strange confidence from receiving many advances from men my age.

I thought I could make him mine. I wondered if the day would come when he, eager and impatient, would whisper his love to me first.

However, I realized that arrogance had not even a shred of basis.

There was nothing about me that could make such a pure man, who brightens his surroundings just by standing there, fall for me.

Even the hope I had when I saw him in the marketplace was probably just a misunderstanding created by the circumstances.

“Greta.”

“Yes, my lady.”

“Am I really not suitable for him after all?”

Greta was the only one I had told about my feelings for him.

She was a woman of similar age, and I trusted that she wouldn’t reveal this fact to outsiders as she had been serving me for a long time.

In response to my question, Greta approached the bed I was sitting on without saying a word.

There was a strange smile on her lips. A smile tinged with the pride of a mother who has watched her daughter grow.

Although she was only five years older than me, she exuded a very mature atmosphere.

“Is there a reason you suddenly had such thoughts?”

“Yes. I accidentally fell in the garden earlier, and Ludwig tried to catch me, but we both tumbled down and our bodies overlapped.”

“Oh my.”

Greta protested, asking why I hadn’t told her such an interesting story earlier.

I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for my maid to say such things, but I thought it was very characteristic of her.

“But he hurriedly pushed me away and stepped back. At first, I thought it was because he was embarrassed, but his expression was… strange.”

“Strange, you say…?”

“Like he was rejecting me? As if he had touched someone he shouldn’t have.”

“That is strange indeed.”

Greta exaggeratedly said that any ordinary man would have had an ecstatic expression just from holding me.

But that was useless comfort for me. There was only one man in this world whom I wanted to hold me and smile.

I felt a gentle emotion seeing her sighing beside me, pondering what could have been the problem as if it were her own.

I expected that no plausible answer would come out even if we thought about it.

Just looking at his actions towards me until now, it was clear that he didn’t see me as more than a friend.

“So, you mean that you felt like the Young Master was rejecting you, and after reflecting on his actions so far, you reached this conclusion?”

“That’s right…?”

“…I didn’t expect you to show such density, my lady.”

Where was I being dense? I couldn’t understand Greta’s words as she muttered while scratching her cheek with her index finger.

I’m not being dense at all. Rather, I’m more serious than anyone. That’s why I was able to reach this conclusion.

As I protested asking what she meant suddenly, Greta sat down on the bed next to me, saying “Excuse me.”

It was an action only she, who had been watching over me for a long time among the servants, could do. I didn’t even point it out and waited for Greta’s response.

“First of all… my lady, people’s actions and expressions aren’t something that can be easily determined.”

“Of course, I know that.”

Does Greta think I’m stupid?

Although I have these eyes, I knew well that one couldn’t easily infer the true intentions and deeper nature contained within someone’s actions.

Why is this conversation coming up now? All I’m curious about is why Ludwig pushed me away.

Before my doubts could even dissipate, Greta grasped one of my hands tightly and continued speaking.

“If you knew that, then you wouldn’t have such thoughts. If what you say is true, where did all the kindness he has shown you until now go?”

“That’s just kindness as a friend. What I want is more than that.”

“Sigh… my lady.”

Has Greta ever made such an expression in front of me before?

She frowned as if frustrated and shook her head. Did I miss something? Surely not. I’m certain that I…

“You said it yourself, my lady. You can’t determine things based on actions alone. But right now, you’re making assumptions more easily than anyone.”

“Me? What on earth do you mean?”

“What else? His feelings. How does his pushing you away at that moment lead to the conclusion that he rejected you?”

“Well…”

Huh?

I felt my thoughts stop at Greta’s words.

Come to think of it, why did I think he had rejected me?

Because his expression wasn’t good? Simply because he physically pushed me away at that moment?

No. That couldn’t be it. If it had been my usual self, I would have thought there must be a reason and left it as a simple incident.

‘Am I… really losing it?’

I couldn’t even remember what I had been thinking. My mind was truly thrown into chaos in an instant.

I was elated. Because the expression he showed me was different from usual. Because I was certain he had romantic feelings for me.

At some point, it was none other than me who started to be conscious of his every move.

“Sigh…”

“…Are you coming to your senses now?”

As I buried my face in the bed, covering my reddened face, I heard Greta’s pitying voice.

I was utterly embarrassed. The fact that I, the eldest daughter of the Bayemühren family, had shown such unseemly behavior.

Why did I have such foolish thoughts? Surely the part of my body responsible for thinking must have malfunctioned.

Him pushing me away at that moment, his bewildered expression.

Regardless of what feelings he usually had for me, they were actions and emotions that could easily occur.

I had become impatient.

Like a child stomping their feet, desperately wanting a toy, I must have been so captivated by his existence that my reason and thoughts were in disarray.

I covered my face with a pillow and kept kicking the blanket with both feet.

I heard Greta’s short sigh and a soft blanket was draped over my body.

“I-I’m sorry, Greta… There must be something wrong with me…”

“No… Rather, it was a good experience. I never thought I’d see the day when you’d show such a side.”

To be honest, I felt the same. I never expected to become such an ignorant woman that I’d need advice from you.

I thought I’d always live looking only at the sword. At this rate, I’m no different from ordinary housewives.

“Don’t you find it strange yourself? How much you’ve changed…”

“It is strange. But I’m a little scared of the fact that I still can’t properly understand his feelings.”

“…Pardon? What are you saying all of a sudden?”

Greta tilted her head at my words and responded with her eyes even wider than before.

Did I say something strange? I went over the sentences I had uttered again, but there didn’t seem to be any particularly problematic parts.

“I was jumping to conclusions too much. There must have been some misunderstanding about Ludwig blushing when I fell into his arms outside today, and him not being able to speak properly.”

“What? No, my lady. Why is the direction suddenly going that way…”

Greta urgently tried to say something beside me, but I was too preoccupied with my thoughts.

Yes. I had underestimated him too much.

No matter how close friends we were, it wasn’t unreasonable for a man to blush from embarrassment when a woman of the same age suddenly presses her body against him.

Even when I extended my hand to help him up after training, there could have been plenty of reasons why he didn’t grasp it readily.

Indeed, human emotions are difficult. How nice it would be if I could detect everything with these eyes.

I thought the day I would get closer to him would come soon, but it seems even further now.

“What exactly is love… Sigh.”

I heard Greta let out another deep sigh beside me.

Surely, she must have felt dismayed upon witnessing her mistress’s momentary ignorance.

Don’t worry, Greta. I won’t misunderstand anymore.

As the eldest daughter of the Bayemühren family, I won’t make the same mistake twice.

translator’s corner

sry for the delay ;w; its been rough these past few days but we ball now >;3