Chapter 18 - Abyss of Bluebell (2)
“I will die!”
Bluebell put her life on the negotiating table.
This was not normal behavior.
What kind of normal person would use their life to threaten someone?
And genuinely mean it.
‘Why on earth…’
What mistake did I make for Bluebell to become so dependent on me?
‘Why do my plans keep going astray?’
I couldn’t understand.
The constantly faltering plan and Bluebell’s death threats made my head hurt even more.
‘Where did I go wrong? Did I fail to maintain boundaries like with Nadia?’
No.
I clearly maintained the boundaries.
‘We are teacher and student. A relationship which could not allow intimacy.’
From the beginning, I established this relationship by reprimanding Bluebell.
‘This time, I clearly drew the line. So why…?’
To prevent dependency, I became her teacher and taught her everything from A to Z.
So why?
Bluebell crushed my confusion with her response.
“If you leave, I’ll die. I will die!”
I shook my head, denying reality.
“Even so, it’s impossible. I have to return to my family too.”
“That’s why I’m telling you not to go! Just be my teacher forever! That solves everything!”
Bluebell shouted with a high-pitched voice.
She didn’t seem to have any intention of swallowing her pride and looked like she would continue to throw a tantrum.
Still, I couldn’t let Bluebell take control.
To maintain my authority as a teacher, I responded even more firmly as she pushed harder.
“Throwing a tantrum won’t solve anything. When my contract period ends, I will go home.”
“No. Don’t go. I’ll die. If you want to see me die, then go ahead.”
However, Bluebell showed no intention of stopping her life-threatening threats.
“If you leave, I’ll send a letter to your Sinclair family saying I died. You’ll come to my funeral and regret it for the rest of your life! So don’t go. If you go, it’s straight to the funeral.”
“… Stop it. It’s meaningless.”
“Why should I stop? You stop! Don’t leave!”
Words don’t work.
Even so, I couldn’t listen to Bluebell’s words.
There were still many villainesses in the world, and I had to go north as planned to transform them.
I cooled my head and clenched my teeth, turning away from Bluebell.
“This conversation ends here. There’s no point in continuing.”
“W-what? You can’t just end it on your own! I said I’ll die! If you leave, I’ll die! Don’t you hear me?! I said I’ll die!! Don’t go!!”
This suicide threat was driving me crazy.
Nonetheless, to retain control, I spoke as I left.
“… Then let’s do it this way. I’ll decide about leaving after watching you study.”
Leaving a window of opportunity.
At the same time, I closed the classroom door.
Bang-!!
Behind me, Bluebell’s voice could be heard.
-You mean you won’t leave if I study hard?! You said it!? You promised!?
Ignoring Bluebell’s continuous shouts, I walked down the hallway.
‘She probably doesn’t really want to die. But the thought must have crossed her mind when she imagined a future without me. That’s why she’s so emotional.’
Maybe in about five years.
Right now, Bluebell wouldn’t actually kill herself.
No matter how extreme her personality, she still had more reasons not to die than to die.
‘More importantly.’
Today, Bluebell gained a motivation for studying instead of focusing on death.
For me, it was an extremely joyous thing.
But…
‘Does Bluebell know what she’s saying? The harder she studies, the less she’ll need a teacher.’
It was better for me if Bluebell didn’t realize this.
I felt uneasy about exploiting such a naive child.
Still, as long as I was in the mansion, Bluebell wouldn’t threaten me with suicide.
‘When the time comes, I can quietly disappear, leaving Bluebell with some hope.’
Seasons cannot always remain the same.
Walking down the hallway, I quietly dreamed of a hopeful future where I could disappear from the mansion.
With the summer ending, there was plenty of time.
***
After Bluebell’s suicide threat.
Her attitude towards studying noticeably changed.
She was trying her best to maintain focus, which she usually found difficult.
Compared to the beginning, it was an incredible improvement.
“How much do you remember from what we’ve discussed so far?”
“Well. Um… In the past, the Fritz Empire… was weak but… They overcame it with the help of other families…?”
Excellent.
But still not enough.
“Which families were included in that?”
“Well. Um… The Verdium Family from the east… the Cernia family from the north… the Bertan family from the west…?”
“One is missing. It’s the Bertan family from the west. When you attend the banquet later, you must not get it wrong.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ll be humiliated by the nobles.”
Greatly humiliated.
In the novel, Bluebell often revealed her ignorance at banquets.
‘I-I could not have known! Why are you all picking on me!! Do you all live knowing everything?! Huh?!’
The nobles criticized Bluebell even more as she lashed out.
They insulted her entire family and made her feel like a criminal.
With her strong pride, Bluebell didn’t know how to apologize and found it hard to endure the humiliation.
‘What did I do so wrong…’
Suffering from severe depression, she constantly relived those shameful memories at night.
She gradually wanted to give up on life.
‘A painful past. And an uncertain future.’
These were the main reasons for Bluebell’s depression.
The intensity was still low for now.
But after experiencing significant events, the intensity of her depression would increase.
To prevent that…
“If you don’t want to be humiliated, you must study hard like today.”
“… Fine, fine! I’ll study hard! I’m already trying my best!”
Did I push her too much?
Bluebell answered irritably as if she was feeling pressured.
She appeared anxious about the thought of me leaving.
I gently placed my hand on Bluebell’s head.
“Calm down. It’s okay to take it slow. The books aren’t going anywhere.”
“I know that… But you threatened to leave the mansion! I don’t want that…”
“Not right away. I said I would leave when the contract ends.”
“That’s the same thing! When does the contract end?”
Hmm.
“Two months left.”
“Then, that’s soon… I don’t want it! I’m going to study! Don’t disturb me!”
Tap—
Bluebell pushed away the hand on her head and began to focus on her studies.
She diligently underlined the sections I taught her. And her face was almost pressed into the book.
Not wanting to disturb her, I quietly opened the door and left the classroom.
I had some errands to run anyway.
“Bellua should be in her room by now.”
She always stayed holed up in her room, so she must be there.
I quickened my pace and headed toward Bellua’s room.
Located at the end of the mansion, Bellua’s room was in an area rarely frequented by people.
I stood in front of her door and knocked.
Knock! Knock!
“…”
No response.
Then, after about ten seconds.
A voice came from the room.
– Is that you, Bluebell?
Bellua was eagerly waiting for her daughter’s visit.
Despite hearing her voice, I made no movement.
I simply waited with hands in my pockets.
I felt an object in my hand.
– Bluebell? My daughter? Won’t you answer me?
“…”
– Won’t you let me hear your voice, my daughter?
Clatter! Clatter!
From inside, I heard the sound of a chair being moved as if Bellua was preparing to hang herself.
I said nothing, waiting for her to come out.
‘She needs to come out soon so I can have an alibi and handle this…’
She was very suspicious and hard to deal with.
Knowing it was not mealtime, she seemed unwilling to come out.
‘I need to proceed slowly according to plan. She’s very suspicious. This ends here for today.’
If I keep knocking at the same time every day.
Bellua would naturally grow curious and open the door.
‘The one in a hurry is not me but Bellua.’
She surely wanted to die immediately due to her depression.
The Bellua I knew had given up on the future. She was stuck in the past and felt depressed.
Thinking today’s attempt had failed, I turned to leave Bellua’s room.
However, at that moment, I saw a girl with blue hair running from the end of the hallway.
“How crazy.”
Bluebell was running toward me, shouting.
“Hey! Where did you go while teaching me? Don’t leave me alone! And why are you in front of mom’s room—”
– … Bluebell. My daughter, you’ve come?
‘This is bad.’
Was I lost in thought for too long?
Bluebell’s voice mingled with the clattering sound from inside the room.
‘Absolutely not. She must not see or hear this.’
At this rate, Bluebell will end up sitting quietly at the door just like in the novel.
Hearing the sound of Bellua hanging herself.
And when the door was forced open after her death.
Bluebell would witness her mother hanging.
That must never happen to Bluebell.
“I can’t let things go as they did in the novel.”
Bang!
I immediately rammed my body against Bellua’s door.
Once, twice, three times.
Each time my body hit the door, I felt pain from the injury on my shoulder.
Bluebell panicked and tried to stop me.
“W-what are you doing, Damian! Why are you trying to break down mom’s door—”
“Stay back! There’s a reason for this!!”
I pushed Bluebell behind me for safety.
Thud—
Bluebell fell to the ground, her voice filled with resentment.
“Damn… He pushed me… Damian pushed me…”
I could hear Bluebell’s voice, but I focused on enduring the pain as I rammed the door.
The door was unnecessarily strong.
After about ten attempts.
The sound of wood cracking accompanied my body as it burst into Bellua’s room.
‘Where’s Bellua?’
I hurriedly turned my head to locate Bellua.
In front of me, there was a chair and a woman’s feet dangling in the air.
“Damn it!”
I cursed in anger, lifting Bellua’s lower body.
Fortunately, I wasn’t too late.
Bellua’s emotionless voice echoed.
“Ah! What a shame. I could have died in front of Bluebell.”
“You’re truly insane, Bluebell’s mother.”
As I thought.
The only solution was to remove her.
She must be taken somewhere out of Bluebell’s sight.
‘… Even though there’s a risk of being caught because of the incident.’
Before it was too late.
Tonight.
I would kidnap Bluebell’s mother.
As I resolved myself, I heard Bluebell’s somber voice behind me.
“What’s going on…? Damian…? Did you save my mom…?”
My conscience pricked at me.
Nevertheless, I had to answer.
“Yes, I saved her.”
Even though I planned to deal with Bellua tonight.
Seeing the tears in Bluebell’s eyes, I had no choice but to answer her that way.
***
A day passed.
Exhausted, Bluebell lay down on her soft bed.
She sighed and stared at the ceiling.
“Something happened again today.”
Another incident occurred today.
Her mom tried to hang herself with a rope.
However, Bluebell wasn’t too shocked.
“I always knew Mom would kill herself someday…”
When she was young, her mom was kind but then abandoned her.
Given the drastic change and the atmosphere, she knew her mom would die someday.
Dad’s death was sudden and shocking, but Mom’s death was expected, so it wasn’t shocking for her.
Bluebell stared blankly at the ceiling.
“A luxurious room. Sparkling jewelry. Beautiful dresses. According to Damian, the only thing I lack is knowledge.”
‘Why do so many incidents happen to me?’
‘Has God abandoned me?’
‘Why do these things only happen to me?’
“Ever since Damian came here, more incidents have happened… It’s not his fault, though.”
In fact, Damian was more of a hero than a teacher.
‘He appears like a hero when I’m in trouble or confusion and saves me.’
“Even though I don’t like my mom, he saved her today.”
Bluebell thought she could do anything as long as Damian was there.
Even if people abandoned her.
She felt competent and capable with him around.
Most importantly, being with Damian made her happy.
“Hmph. But he’s an idiot who’s trying to leave my mansion. Still, he said he wouldn’t leave if I study hard… Hehe.”
Suddenly.
Bluebell started reviewing her lessons. Something she wouldn’t normally do.
She looked at the books and read through the materials organized by Damian.
However, there were still parts she didn’t understand.
“Why do the villagers revolt when taxes are high? If we collect a lot of money through taxes and make the territory more luxurious, wouldn’t the villagers be very happy? Why? Hmm… I don’t get it.”
Since it was already evening…
“Tonight, I’ll sleep with Damian. It’s for review! I’ll study until I fall asleep!”
Tap! Tap! Tap!
Bluebell held her book and headed to Damian’s room.
The dark hallway was scary, but it would be more fun in Damian’s room.
Pushing through the unsettling darkness, she headed towards Damian’s lit room.
However.
“What? Where’s Damian? Did he go to the bathroom?”
Damian wasn’t in his room.
Bluebell thought Damian had gone somewhere and sat on the bed, waiting for him.
However.
no matter how long Bluebell waited,
Damian didn’t return to his room.
“No way… It can’t be, right?”
Bluebell bit her nails in anxiety.
Crunch!
“He didn’t leave the mansion, did he? The contract period isn’t over yet. He didn’t leave, right?”
She was anxious.
Even with the contract period left, she was anxious.
She was going crazy with fear that he might suddenly leave.
Bluebell couldn’t help but imagine a grim future.
“Damian, where are you? Didn’t I tell you not to leave me alone…”
She eventually left Damian’s room to look for him.
“Sniff… Damian… Where are you…”
The hallway was dark, and she couldn’t see ahead.
Unlike before, the dark, unsettling hallway scared and frightened Bluebell.
Even so, in search of a glimmer of light.
She moved forward with the moonlight to accompany her.