The World Which Is

I run to the shower, cursing oversleeping and my aching body. Doesn’t matter that part’s normal after the kind of training session I put myself through; this morning is not when I can afford to be late.

Washed and dressed in my best clothes, I head out. I’ll grab a food bar from the kitchen and—

I stop, seeing Dad at the table, reading.

He looks up as I force myself to go to the cupboard.

“Going somewhere?”

What is he doing here? It’s well past when he should be at his workshop. I’d ask what why he’s still here, but I expect the answer’s going to be ‘to make your life miserable’.

“Josie’s choosing ceremony starts in twenty.” I reach in, and into Base’s inventory, for the bar. “If I hurry, I’ll just make it on time.”

The noncommital ‘uh huh’ freezes me.

I turn and he’s looking at me with that ‘oh, do you have something coming,’ look. The book’s closed and on the table.

“And exactly why do you think I should allow you to go?”

“It’s Josie’s ceremony,” I say cautiously. “I promised her I’d be there.”

“Was that before or after you thought it was a good idea to run off with Rich?”

That again? “Dad, I didn’t run off. I know it was stupid, but he was really convincing. Base told me that something he’s good at.”

“I had warned you about him.” His tone is sharp.

“But you never explained. Damn it, Dad. You and all the old folks just made him out to be this mysterious guy full of adventures. What did any of you expect us to do if we happened to meet him?”

“Run in the opposite direction.”

I snort. “I don’t know how you were as a kid, but none of my friends run away from what’s strange. We aren’t scared of a little danger.”

“I am not—” He closes his mouth, and when his eyes narrow, I realize I’m smirking. Way to go, Dennis. Antagonize the guy with the keys to the door. “Don’t you understand that this is for you protection? Maybe your friend’s parents don’t care what happens to their children, but I will not lose my only son to what’s out there.”

“I’m not going out there!” I stop and breathe. “I’m going to the command center. Unless you’ve forgotten, that’s where Choosing Day takes place. That’s where Josie is going to be.”

“Along with some of your friends.” I can hear the disgust in the word, and I almost tell him what I think of his opinion of my friends. I glance down and left and notice my willpower has dropped slightly.

Dad narrows his eyes. Not everyone has the system information in the same place within their field of vision, so he can’t know what I’m looking at. But I’m sure he’s imagining the worse. Like I have a way to send message to my friends and we’re plotting going outside just to scare him. I could do that, if I’d thought to form a group with any of them, but I’ve only had a class for a few days. And most of them don’t have theirs, so they couldn’t join it.

“I have to leave now, if I’m going to make it on time,” I tell him in as calm a voice as I can.

“Maybe you should have thought of that before—”

“Damn it! It’s just the command center, Dad! You already have Base keeping me prisoner within his walls. Where the fuck do you think I’m going to go?”

“I don’t know!” He’s up, hands on the table, and for a moment there’s something other than anger in his eyes, but it’s gone before I make it out.

“I’m an adult,” I say through clenched teeth.

“You’re my son!” he replies, like the two are mutually exclusive. Like that’s all I’ll ever be to him. Just this thing he’s afraid of losing, instead of a person capable of making his own decision. I don’t know if there’s anything I can say that’s going to change that.

“She’s my best friend, Dad. It’s just the command center. GrandPa Louis will be there, so have Base relay a message to him about watching over me. But I promised her I’d be there. Don’t make me break it, please.”

His expression softens a little. “Alright, you can go. But you are coming right back here, Dennis. I swear, if you aren’t here when I come back for lunch, I will never let you out of this house.”

I head for the door without replying. I’m too angry for whatever I’d say to lead to me going to Josie’s ceremony.

He can’t do this!

Fuck, if there was somewhere I could go, I would.

The door opens when I turn the knob. As soon as it closes behind me, I’m running. I don’t want to be late.

* * * * *

I push my way through the crowd until I’m in front. I’ve seen larger crowds for the ceremony, but then I see there’s only four people standing before the control board. Today the panels are going from one wall to the other.

The four of them facing us, and Josie smiles when she sees me. I don’t know the other three.

“Today is a special day for these young people,” Grandpa Louis says, standing behind them. He’s in his commander’s uniform. A pale gray coat over a white shirt cut to look like his power armor. He only wears it for special events, and only if it’s expected of him, like when he’s presiding over Choosing Day. “Today, they pick their classes and the responsibilities that come with them. Today, they leave behind the playtime of children, and take on the duties of adulthood.” He steps behind the blond hair boy and places a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from fidgeting. “Martin Bailey, what is your class.”

He swallows. “I’m a baker, like my mother,” he hurries to add, and a few people chuckle.

GrandPa Louis steps behind the next person. “Josephine Gesner, what is your class?”

“I am a patroller,” she answers proudly.

Figures. Patrollers always get to fight, even when there aren’t any monster attacks. They’re the ones who get called anytime someone’s causing trouble.

“Alice Woodrow, what is your class?”

“I am a brewer,” she replies, straightening.

“Octavia Eaton, what is your class?”

“I am a mason.”

Grandpa Louis steps around her and faces them. “Welcome to adulthood,” he says gravely. “The time ahead will be filled with hardship, but remember to make some for things you enjoy. Remember that your class doesn’t define who you are, it is only one facet. And don’t forget what it was like to be a child. We have enough overly serious adults in this town already.”

Chuckles and laughs from the crowd.

“No, I’m serious. You bunch need to lighten up, or I swear I’m pulling out the boots.”

More laughter, but from the old folks. It’s a joke among them. GrandPa Louis explained it to me, but I still don’t get how a boot to the head is a funny thing. Base refuses to make copies of where it’s from and pass them along to everyone in town.

“Let the kids make their own humor,” is the response anytime GrandPa Louis asks him to do it.

It’s interesting how he never orders Base to do it.

And the ceremony’s over. Which means I should head home so Dad doesn’t—

Josie’s arms are around me. “You came!”

“I said I’d be here.” I smile as I look into her green eyes.

“Yeah,” she looks back, and they’re so bright. Her brown skin is radiant. I realize I’m leaning forward, then we’re jostled and nearly trip, and I’m chuckling, feeling hot for some reason as we pull apart.

“Anyway,” she says, grabbing my hand. “There’s someone I want you to meet.” I follow along. I doubt Base is going to report on me for this, even if Dad instructed him to relay my every move. “Herbert!” She waves and a man a good decade older than us turns from her parent.

“Josie!” he hugs and lifts her. “Patroller! I thought you wanted to charm the guys, not kick their—”

Josie’s father clears his throat and Herbert rolls his eyes.

“This is Dennis,” Josie introduces me. “My best friend. Dennis, this is my cousin, Herbert. He’s a guard and travels all over the place.”

I shake his hand, surprised. Josie’s family’s large, so I’m never surprised when she introduces someone I didn’t know, but it’s the first time one of them doesn’t live in Court.

“My class’s actually scout, but I found out the hard way I wanted nothing to do with military forces, so now I do caravan guarding.”

“Isn’t that a waste of your abilities?” I asked before I can stop myself. I looked up the class when I was younger, as part of all those that related to protecting towns and people. What I remember about it is that it’s about going in the wild, looking for threats.

“Oh, you’d be surprised what happens to caravans, especially’s Chuck’s. We all get to use all the ability we bring at least once while traveling. Speaking of which.” He turns to Josie’s mother. “I can’t stay long. Chuck wants us on the road by noon, and there’s a lot of preparations needed to get everything ready to move.”

“You have time for cake?” she asks hopefully. “I baked strawberry shortcake.”

He groans. “Why do you have to torture me like that? Okay, once slice, be we have to head to your home now. If Chuck has to come looking for me, I will never hear the end of it, and no, your cake will not be enough to appease him.”

They start moving, and I grab Josie’s hand. Before I realize what I’m doing, I pull her into a tight hug.

She hugs me back after getting over the surprise.

“I’m proud of you,” I whisper, and find my throat tightening.

She chuckles. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I force my voice to steady as I release her. “It’s just that it’s official now. We’re going to live different lives.”

She laughs. “The farms aren’t on the other side of the world, Dennis. You’ll be here at least once a month to sell what you’ll grow.”

“Yeah.” I tighten my hand on hers. “But I’m still going to miss you.”

“Well, that’s not now.” She pulled, but I stayed in place. “Come on, you don’t want to miss my mom’s strawberry shortcake. Trust me.”

“I know.” I force the chuckle. “I’ve had it before.”

“Then come on.”

“I can’t.” I have no problem sounding sad. “Dad only allowed me to come to your ceremony. I have to go right back home.”

“I don’t believe how unreasonable he is. My dad tried to talk some sense into him and wow, did your dad not like that.”

I nod. “I’m…going to deal with it. But he’s just scared. I can get that.”

“Dennis, you need to get out on your own. You have a class. He shouldn’t be allowed to ground you anymore.”

I nod again, and my throat tightens. I hug her again. “I better go.” I turn and leave the command center as fast as I can without making it seem like I’m running away. I make the first left and finally wipe at my eyes.

“Base? What are the instructions my dad gave you?” Please, please tell me you left something I can make use of.

“What are you planning, Dennis?”

I shake my head. “Please, just tell me what he ordered with to do.”

“I’m to make sure you don’t leave the house once you return.”

Good thing I am not heading there then. “What else?”

“That’s it.”

“No, what else has he ordered you to do about keeping me here?”

“Dennis, whatever you’re planning, it is not a good idea. Your father is—”

“Scared, terrified, irrational about it. Why do I have to suffer for him not dealing with his problems? For you and Grandpa Louis letting him not deal with it?”

When Base finally makes a sound, it’s a sigh. “He said I wasn’t to let you through the gates, no matter what. Not the exact phrasing, but while you seem to be okay with swearing, I’m not okay with having you hear it.”

“This time?” I chuckle.

“I thought the tone would impart how serious he was when I replayed his instructions.”

“So it’s just the swearing you’re not putting in there, no hidden orders you aren’t telling me?”

“You’re looking for loopholes,” he says in annoyance. I’m pretty sure I found it already. “Yes, all I did was sanitize what he said. I’m not holding back anything.”

One last thing. “Did he instruct you to report my movement?”

“No.”

I orient myself and head to one of the crafter’s zone. They aren’t all in one place, because not all crafters enjoy the side effect of the other’s crafting. Like the smell of the tannery, the hammering of the forges. All I care about is being as far from Dad’s workshop.

There, I go to the bakery that’s at the edge. Crafters get hungry too. I get myself a strawberry shortcake and a coffee and sit at a table outside.

“I need paper.” A stack grows from the table, with a weight on top to keep the wind from sending them flying.

Okay. How am I writing this?

Dad, I love you.

I really do, but this is enough. You won’t listen to what I’ve tried to tell you, and your fear for what might happen to me is keeping me from living my life.

This is my life, Dad.

So, the first thing. I tried to tell you a few times, but you always shut me down.

My class isn’t farmer. It’s explorer.

If you’d been reasonable, I would have been happy to use the abilities it has to be a guard here, in Court. But you’ve made it clear that anywhere you have influence, you’re going to control my life.

So I’m leaving.

It’s not for always, but I don’t know when I’ll be back. I picked up a quest along with the class and I figure taking care of that will give us both the space we need to figure out how we’re going to make this work.

This is going to hurt you, and I’m sorry. I hope you can believe that it isn’t why I’m doing this. I just need to live my life, and if I stay, all I’ll do is live the life you want for me.

Talk with someone, Dad. You need help. You have friends who I’m sure will want to help you. Go to them. Go to a stranger who won’t bring a history to the help they give you.

I don’t know, Dad. Just get help.

When I get back, we can sit down and figure things out.

Your son who loves you,

Dennis.

I wipe at my eyes and fold the letter, then put it under the weight. “Can you put it on the kitchen table?”

“You know I can. But he’s going to be home for lunch. That’s in a couple of hours.”

“It’s enough time.” He’s going to freak out when he reads it. He’s going to order Base around, trying to get everyone looking for me, which means we’re going to be that much further by the time he works out what I did.

I finish the coffee and return the empty plate inside once the papers are gone, then head toward the west gate.

“I can’t let you out,” Base warns me.

“I know.”

“Where are you going?”

I shake my head. “Dad can order you to tell him. I’m going to fulfill Aaron’s quest.”

“But you didn’t tell me anything about it, Dennis.”

“I didn’t think it was something I’d be dealing with now. And now I’m happy I didn’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t trust you.”

“Damn it, Dennis. I only have your best interest at heart, you know that.”

“But you have to obey dad’s orders.”

He doesn’t have a reply to that.

When the gate comes in to view, I turn right. The exact side doesn’t matter. All I need is a wall without obstructions, well, a minimum of them. I can navigate around a few.

When I find it, I run. I consider going home for a backpack. It’s going to suck being on the road without supply, but it’s not like I won’t be able to borrow some. And Base has warned me what will happen if I go home.

I trail my hand along the wall for a few seconds before putting my foot on it, and up I go. With a minimum of obstacles, I’m on top and looking over the city.

“Dennis,” Base warns. “You can’t jump my wall; it’s too high.”

I smile. For as much as Base knows and sees, he misses things.

I admire Court for a few seconds, soak in home for the last time. Then I run along the wall, trailing my hand on the parapet before jumping it, my foot touching the wall, and I run down it.