The Worldview Where Everyone is Destined to Die

Would it have been better to bring Arthur along?

I picked up Theodore's chair and pulled him aside. He was messing with some strange liquids.

Dragging Theodore with me, I noticed he held a small booklet, but I had no idea where he got it.

"Explain, please."

"Basically, I've got amnesia. I've lost memories related to something that happened. The way to fix it depends on the cause. In my case, if there's confusion, it's temporary. We can try to jog my memory by simulating the event or lowering my consciousness level."

"Sorry, but that's too long."

He was either too detailed or too brief; there was no in-between.

Theodore looked at me and the reagent with blank eyes for a moment and then spoke for me to explain.

"Mix these two, and you get a relaxant. I'll be taking it."

"And hypnosis? What's the plan with relaxing the muscles?"

"Instead of just relaxing muscles, we're going for a side effect. Once you start the relaxant, your mind gets hazy, making you more open to simple suggestions."

After Theodore mixed the solutions and tried to drink them,"Tsk!"

I swiftly pulled him away. Dealing with him felt like raising a troublesome puppy.

I snatched Theodore's beaker in an instant, and he looked at me with disdain.

"Think you can drink this without hesitation? Do you believe what I did with Machina was not a trial but an ending?"

"I don't know how addictive it might be, but dark mages are generally..."

"You're resistant to it? Still, I don't think we should delve into something this risky."

I removed my gloves and covered the opening of the test tube with the purple solution, then stashed it out of sight.

"I don't trust this hypnosis thing. It could be mistaken for lost memories during the trance."

"There's a high chance of that happening, but any memories you recall, I can compare them with Arma Cruz's memories."

"I'm not sure about the memory, and I won't force it on you."

Only then did Theodore grasp the situation and pulled his hand back from reaching for the tube.

Unlike his usual self, he wasn't wearing the eye patch, making it easier for me to read his facial expressions.

'But this is confiscated.'

It seemed like Theodore reluctantly accepted the situation, but I knew his stubbornness wasn't easily swayed. I put the reagent bottle in my belt and took a seat.

"Phew, my heart was pounding. I have a weak heart, and it's no joke. Seriously, if you had actually taken that in front of me, I might have fainted right then."

"Heart?"

"Yes. There are some things I didn't say, so just remember that what I'm saying is all true."

With Theodore now calm, I could have a composed conversation with him as I began to explain.

"I may look fine now, but since I was a kid, I've always been weak, always falling down."

Theodore nodded as I explained that the cause was a slight heart defect, which had deepened my mother, Tessa Cruz's sorrow.

"You were quite unlucky."

As he said that, Theodore thumped his chest.

If I were to guess, it probably meant that it was unfortunate that my heart wasn't in good shape. Touching the heart, the source of life given by God, was considered a taboo even for healing priests.

"But now it's at the level of an ordinary person. You can call it the magic of growing up, or lucky cases where everything worked out well."

"If I were still that weak, I wouldn't have been able to enter the academy. They have a physical fitness test."

"It would be easy to think of myself as the lowest baseline for the physical fitness test."

Contrary to popular stereotypes, mages' physical strength is far superior to that of ordinary people. Basically, their bodies have a built-in function to handle energy efficiently.

The reason mages entering society stumble like spoiled kids is due to their tendency to focus on research and lack survival instinct.

It's accurate to say that the materials are good, but the application isn't always feasible.

"Anyway, I came here because I wanted to tell you something. I'm asking you to let me know if something comes to mind."

"Right, just..."

"Forget hypnosis... just wait and see that."

If a technique like hypnosis has to be used, it should be done in a normal setting and not when one person has their head cracked and the other has a headache.

"It's not much to say, but I'm glad I confirmed your resolve."

"I don't think I'm prepared, though."

Looking at Theodore's question, it certainly didn't seem like he had made any preparations. Even when Theodore threatened me with self-hypnosis, he wore an expressionless face, showing no signs of tension.

"It's nice to see you being brave... but let me ask you one more question."

"Yes."

"Where did you learn hypnosis?"

"Isn't it based on spiritism? It's included in the basic curriculum for learning black magic."

Black magic typically deals with the supernatural, such as death, spirits, curses, and foresight, while white magic involves the aspects of life and basic elements, like light, healing, and blessings.

So, it wasn't surprising that Theodore, who majored in black magic, was learning this.

"Can I do something like that if I learn it?"

"Hypnosis, brainwashing, and even suggestion are areas that the average person can handle."

"That sounds comforting! Got it. Thanks. You've been through so much in the middle of the night."

I helped Theodore, who hadn't moved from his spot, to his feet.

While Theodore carefully packed away the dangerous items and placed them into a double-protected drawer, I turned my back to him and started putting away the experiment tools.

"Actually, there was something I wanted to discuss with you, Judith, Shirley, and even Arthur. It might be difficult now with this situation, right?"

"Yes."

Now that the cadets have become extremely sensitive, the gathering and whispering of the four special students from each class were a perfect cause to stir up trouble.

"The manufacturing room is quite spacious. Is management done autonomously by the Crown of Thorns?"

"Management... a few people who cannot stand clutter just clean it."

"And you are among those people?"

"... I am normally the one who gets kicked out."

It was unexpected but welcoming to hear. I nodded and asked if our next meeting would be after the bandages were removed.

Theodore nodded as he disappeared into the Crown of Thorns class dorm with the cadet who was his guard.

And everything is ready. Meeting Theodore was the right answer.

I took out the reagent bottle and a manual confiscated from Theo.

After getting a hint from Theodore's words, I put that book in my pocket and borrowed it for a while.

This was the basic form.

"No suggestion, brainwashing... next, here it all... ah. Hypnosis."

Fortunately, the book was neatly kept, and I hurriedly read the part from which I needed information.

'A thick hardcover, notebook, ink, pen, and....'

Theodore will act as a booster to enter a hypnotic state. Suspicious liquid.

Indeed, the process of entering a state of hypnosis wasn't as difficult as expected, with Theodore asserting that even a normal person can do it.

The problem is the performance of the suspicious liquid, but given that Theodore and I are about 10 cm different, the dosage shouldn't change much.

"Cadet Enoch Clark!"

I hid these things I prepared with a blanket so that Enoch couldn't see and then called him.

Perhaps, because he had a surprisingly thoughtful nature, Enoch answered briefly, 'yes' from outside the door.

"The headache hasn't gone away. I plan to take sleeping pills and sleep."

"Has this information been confirmed by the one in charge?"

"He said there was no problem."

"I understand, I won't disturb you."

"Please. Till afternoon."

"Yes."

What I will take is 'Theodore Special,' not some sleeping pill, and its effect will not be much different.

'I guess I should tie my legs first.'

The memory of being put on trial as a student can never be short of a nightmare. And I drank this muscle relaxant, trying to ignore the mixed feeling that I was going to lose my mind and body on my own despite going through such chaos.

I began to feel the loss of sense in my fingers and toes. The effect of the muscle relaxant was coming into effect.

"I feel like I am falling into deep water."

As soon as I felt the water rising from the edge of the bed, flowing through the knees, thighs, stomach, and chest, all the way to the head.

I decided I was out of my mind.

I was surprised at the effectiveness of my suggestion, but I still felt like there was a mountain of work I had to do.

The hallucination of bubbles escaping from my mouth, I opened the hardcover book. And this book was new, with nothing written, just on the first page.

And on the first page, it was written as.

<I am reminded of the time before Shirley and Arthur died. Then I remember the time before Judith fell from the cliff. Lastly, I remember the moment before I shot Theodore in the head. When I thought about it, everything came to mind clearly. That....>

The letters written in black ink were submerged in water and began to unravel.

The ink wrapped around the body like a snake and spun around. The mind was gradually leaving the space of the bed.

And at some point, I found myself back in the moment of Arthur and Shirley's struggle.

Clang!

Arthur's sharp sword collided with the spear and was clearly intended for killing.

It was clearly Shirley who was against Arthur, who was alive and well despite having the heart pierced.

Although we didn't meet each other properly in the last dream, looking at them like this, they surely seemed to be about 2-3 years more mature than I had remembered.

Why is Shirley fighting Arthur instead of me?

This fierce battle ensued in which it was impossible to predict who would win.

But I knew what the outcome of this battle was.

"Sh-Shirley-"

The difference from then was that, unlike the dream, I couldn't intervene now.

"Run!"

Why do I have to recall this memory even though I know I cannot change it?

And why am I so troubled with this?

Everything up to this point was just an illusion of an unstable mind.

Kakang! Chang!

Also why did Shirley bring this spear with a tripod attached?

Shirley wasn't perfect, and Arthur seems to be dazed. At the end of this miserable fight, I watched as the two people fell together.

<Never, ever remember it.>

My body and mind seemed to be at the scene of this tragedy because my fingers felt this strange sense of being in a different place, and I was moving my hands frantically like I was possessed.