This director only makes bad movies

In a beautifully decorated study room.

Film critic Tao Heng has just finished writing a film review.

This film review is the smoothest film review he has ever written.

Whenever he recalled the crappy clips from the movie "Along the River During the Qingming Festival" in his mind, Tao Heng's inspiration kept pouring out, allowing him to complete this film review in just one day.

After writing the movie review, Tao Heng took the opportunity to search online for reviews of the movie "Along the River During Qingming Festival".

What surprised him happened was that all the reviews he found were good reviews, but he didn't find a single bad review.

"It's beautiful. It's really beautiful."

"It is indeed a film directed by Zhang Yange. It is extremely exciting and there are no peeing spots throughout the whole process."

"It's a typical treasure hunting routine movie, but Zhang Yange handled it very well. Although it is a routine plot, the movie itself is still very exciting."

"When the robbers broke through many obstacles and entered the museum to steal, I didn't dare to breathe hard the whole time for fear of missing some wonderful scenes. There was also the classic car chase scene, which is a rare big scene in domestic movies in recent years. The whole process was fascinating. Adrenaline rush."

"Zhang Yange deserves to be Zhang Yange. This movie has exceeded his upper limit. There are no shortcomings in either the pictures or the plot. The movie itself is even more exciting. Netizens who want to watch the movie must not miss it."

"I went to see it with my friends. I just planned to kill time. Unexpectedly, the movie was unexpectedly exciting and moved me deeply."

"The best movie this year, highly recommended, you will regret it if you don't watch it."

Tao Heng couldn't help but laugh.

Isn't it right? The movie is so poorly made, but it still has so many positive reviews?

There are also netizens who dare not breathe during the entire movie, and those who watched the car chase scene and saw their adrenaline surge. Are you sure we are watching the same movie?

If he hadn't actually seen the movie and knew how bad it really was, he might have been deceived into thinking it was a good movie just by reading this review.

Tao Heng shook his head.

He knows that from before the movie is released to the time when the movie is released, the film's producers will spend a lot of energy on public relations on the Internet to prevent public opinion from affecting the movie's box office.

But you, Zhang Yange, are too overbearing. Even though the film was poorly made, you ended up spending money to get so many good reviews on the Internet and trick the audience into entering the cinema.

Shameless, really shameless.

No wonder the movie is so bad, all the money was spent on it.

But don’t be complacent, the masses’ eyes are sharp and they will not be deceived.

No matter how many navy troops you buy, they will not be as large as the number of people.

See how I can defeat you with my movie reviews.

Immediately, Tao Heng opened his Douya.com account and copied the movie reviews on his computer.

When he came up with the title, he thought about it and quickly came up with the title that best expressed his anger.

"Trash movie Along the River During the Qingming Festival, give me back my hard-earned money!" 》

In a high-end five-star hotel.

Director Zhang Yange, who had just finished a road show with several protagonists, was sitting on the sofa, waiting with a solemn expression.

The protagonists did not go to rest, but waited with Zhang Yange.

They are waiting for the results of the movie box office statistics.

According to time, the movie box office will be calculated soon.

A few minutes later, Zhang Yanmou's cell phone rang and he answered the call.

The eyes of several protagonists were focused on Zhang Yanmou's face, observing his expression.

A minute later, Zhang Yanmou hung up the phone and smiled.

"Don't worry, everyone, our movie has a box office of 40 million on the first day."

call.

Several protagonists breathed a sigh of relief at the same time.

The box office on the first day was 40 million, which is a very good result. According to the normal box office trend of movies, "Along the River During Qingming Festival" will definitely make money.

"Everyone is tired of waiting for the results with me here. Go up and have a rest. We have a road show tomorrow."

Zhang Yange was in a very relaxed mood. Even a great director like him didn't dare to guarantee that the movie would be popular before the movie's box office came out.

Now he is not worried. The box office of 40 million shows that the audience likes this movie very much.

"Director, something is wrong." Zhang Yange's assistant came over and said with a frown: "There are more and more trolls on the Internet. They also paid a well-known film critic to write an article to discredit our movie. The film reviews had a huge impact.”

"What movie review?" Zhang Yange asked.

"This is it."

The assistant took out his phone, clicked on a movie review, and handed it to Zhang Yange.

""Trash movie Along the River During the Qingming Festival, give me back my hard-earned money!"

Zhang Yange couldn't help but frown when he saw this title, but he still suppressed his emotions and continued reading.

"Some time ago, there was a very popular movie on the Internet called "Along the River During the Qingming Festival", directed by the famous Zhang Yange."

"I thought to myself that the quality of the movie directed by Zhang Yange must be good. Especially after watching the wonderful trailer, I subconsciously thought that this movie must be very exciting."

"So, the first time I saw the movie released, I bought a ticket and entered the cinema. Then, I experienced the most painful two hours of my life."

"Really, these were the most painful two hours of my life. I wanted to poke my eyes out countless times to avoid being further mentally polluted by the movie scenes, but with my trust in director Zhang Yange, I remained strong. I kept reading, and then I had the most desperate two hours of my life."

"At the beginning of the movie, the quality of Riverside Scene during the Qingming Festival, which is an important prop, is really disappointing. It can be clearly seen that it is a shoddy item."

"But what I never expected was that this very poor quality of Riverside During the Qingming Festival was the best of all the props in the movie."

"The two professors who appeared in the movie, wearing wrinkled white coats, looked like low-level migrant workers, but they were able to play experts and professors in the movie? Director Zhang Yange, could you be a little more careful when choosing actors? Although It’s just a small supporting role, but it should also fit the character’s temperament.”

"And the museum in the movie is obviously converted from a classroom. There are even chalk writing on the blackboard at the back?"

"Director Zhang Yanmou, what do you think, you can actually treat the classroom as a museum? A great director, just use such a scene to fool us, the audience, right?"

"Forget it about fooling us, you can wipe off the chalk writing. You didn't see such obvious chalk writing when you were filming, right?"

"There are also strict guards. They actually used classroom tables, chairs and benches to surround the Qingming Festival Along the River, and then sent four old, weak, sick and disabled people to stand guard at the four corners. The last thing they got was toy guns."

"Toy gun, director Zhang Yange, are you serious? You used a toy gun to fool us. When you shoot, you actually need an actor to dub it with his mouth. Oh my God, how could you have such a genius idea? As a mortal, I really There is no way to imagine that you can perform such a magical operation and have it be filmed in a movie openly."

“In the movie, the villain breaks into the museum and steals the Riverside Scene during the Qingming Festival. This should have been a very exciting plot, but the red wool used as props and the large rusty iron gate were really too distracting. There’s no way to make people feel the tension.”

"I can't complain anymore. After experiencing countless shocking scenes in the past, a mere red woolen yarn and a combination lock worth tens of dollars are completely unable to break my defense. I just didn't expect that your lower limit can be reached. So low.”

"Theoretically speaking, it should be the most exciting car chase series. Director Zhang Yange actually shot this scene using only two vans and a scene that was obviously a rural dirt road. Such shoddy production is really shocking. I really doubt director Zhang Yange’s thoughts were used in filming.”

"The movie's promotion said that the production cost was hundreds of millions, and the production cost was hundreds of millions, so they used two vans to fool the audience. Doesn't it treat us too badly as human beings?"

"Finally, it's time for the final battle. What is the relationship between director Zhang Yange and the actress? Why is the entire decisive battle scene used to highlight the actress? I admit that the actress has very long legs and is very good-looking, but we We didn’t come here to see the legs, we came with the mentality of watching a wonderful movie.”

"Director Zhang Yange, your first movie "Jade Guanyin" gave me a strong shock. After watching the movie, I had the classic scenes of this movie in my mind for several days, so I really want to ask you , why have you fallen to this point and chosen to use such vulgar pictures to attract viewers."

"Also, why is your movie so shoddy? Where did the hundreds of millions of production funds go? This kind of movie can be made by just looking for one million people. It really needs 100 million. Well, where did that money go?"

"Last and last, Director Zhang Yange, I want to tell you that the rubbish movie "Along the River During the Qingming Festival" ruined my youth and gave me back my hard-earned money."